Chasing the Tide
Page 37
A very hard, unyielding wall.
Without giving myself time to change my mind, I headed into town to talk to Jeb. I hated how he seemed to know he was saving my ass.
“Hey Jeb, you got a minute?” I asked, swallowing my pride. It was bitter on the way down.
“Sure, for you I have nothing but minutes,” Jeb chuckled.
“I was just wondering if that offer to pick up some hours was still available?” I asked in a rush, getting the words out before I could choke on them.
“No luck finding anything?” Jeb asked, getting straight to the shame filled point.
I instantly felt defensive. I wanted to bare my teeth and hiss in warning—Watch your step, entering dangerous territory.
Instead I just shook my head.
“Well, I just hired a kid to take the third shift,” Jeb replied, picking up a handful of candy bars and dumping them in the discount bin near the register. I felt myself deflate even further. God, it was bad enough that I had come crawling back to my former crappy job—it sucked even more being turned away from said crappy job.
“Oh, okay. That’s cool. I’ll just get out of your hair,” I said wanting to run and hide.
“Hang on a sec, kiddo. I didn’t say I couldn’t use you around. I need someone to fill in for shifts when people call out which, as you know, is a lot. It definitely won’t be full-time or anything. Hell it won’t even be part-time. I just can’t afford that. But I could use an extra person on the weekends. It gets sort of crazy in here,” Jeb said, and I raised my eyebrows.
He couldn’t be serious. I looked around and saw that I was the only person besides him in the store. I had often wondered how Jeb afforded to keep the place open. I suspected it had something to do with tax write-offs, though I never bothered to ask. It was a paycheck, that’s all that had ever mattered.
And Jeb knew that business wasn’t great and never had been. So for him to say that he needed the extra help because of his booming trade was laughable. I almost called him out on his obvious delusion when I stopped myself. Realizing exactly what he was doing.
Jeb picked up the box of potato chips and walked down the aisle, distributing them on the shelves as he went. “So what do you think? Are you okay with that?” he asked.
I found that my chest was suddenly uncomfortably tight as I followed the balding, middle-aged shop owner throughout the store.
He didn’t need someone extra on the weekends. He was giving me hours because he knew I was desperate for the money. This had everything to do with helping me out and absolutely nothing about him.
“Um, yeah, that would be great,” I said around the giant lump that seemed lodged in my throat. Shit. I was going to cry or something.
“Okay, well come in on Friday evening and take over for Melanie. You can close up. We close at ten,” he said, not realizing how much his offer was affecting me.
“Yeah, I remember,” I replied, my voice rough and ragged.
Jeb looked up at me with a frown on his face. “Are you all right, kid?” he asked.
I tentatively put my hand on his shoulder and gave it an awkward pat. Jeb looked surprised and glanced down at my hand as though it were a bug.
“Thanks, Jeb. I mean that,” I said, clearing my throat. I wasn’t used to thanking anyone for anything. I had been shown so little kindness in Wellston that I had stopped even looking for it.
To find it here, from Jeb of all people, left me a little off balance. And feeling like maybe this Podunk little town in the middle of nowhere wasn’t so bad after all.
“I’ll see you on Friday?” Jeb asked, obviously weirded out by my mood. I didn’t blame him. I was standing there in the middle of his store looking like I was about to cry.
I straightened my shoulders and removed my hand from Jeb’s sleeve. “Yeah, sure. What time do you want me?” I asked.
“How about five o’clock,” he said, still frowning slightly.
“Sounds good. See ya then,” I told him and then all but ran from the store, feeling a little embarrassed by my behavior.
Well, I had a job. It wasn’t exactly what I had dreamed that I’d be doing when I graduated from college, but it was better than nothing. Because I wasn’t hearing my phone ringing with all those great opportunities.
Even with the burden of impending pennilessness alleviated for the time being, I didn’t feel exactly giddy. I couldn’t help but feeling like a failure.
What was the point of all that hard work if I ended right back where I started?
Get it together, Ellie! You need to go and have lunch with Flynn and you can’t be in a bad mood! I scolded myself.
I all but marched down the street to the IGA. I snatched up a basket and started walking up and down the aisles, grabbing random stuff, not really paying attention to what they were.
“Well, look here, Mable. It’s our little Eleanor.” The deep, gruff voice sent uncontrollable shivers down my spine and my body went into instant fight or flight mode. My fingers curled around the handle of the basket and gripped so hard I could feel the metal biting into my flesh.
I didn’t want to look up.
Fuck. When was I going to realize shopping at IGA was a bad idea?
I wanted to walk away without ever looking into the much hated smug, self-satisfied face. But to do that would be to admit that after all these years, he still got to me. That after everything he had put me through, his presence still affected me.
I clenched my teeth and blanked my face. There would be no expression. I would give him nothing.
Without giving myself time to change my mind, I headed into town to talk to Jeb. I hated how he seemed to know he was saving my ass.
“Hey Jeb, you got a minute?” I asked, swallowing my pride. It was bitter on the way down.
“Sure, for you I have nothing but minutes,” Jeb chuckled.
“I was just wondering if that offer to pick up some hours was still available?” I asked in a rush, getting the words out before I could choke on them.
“No luck finding anything?” Jeb asked, getting straight to the shame filled point.
I instantly felt defensive. I wanted to bare my teeth and hiss in warning—Watch your step, entering dangerous territory.
Instead I just shook my head.
“Well, I just hired a kid to take the third shift,” Jeb replied, picking up a handful of candy bars and dumping them in the discount bin near the register. I felt myself deflate even further. God, it was bad enough that I had come crawling back to my former crappy job—it sucked even more being turned away from said crappy job.
“Oh, okay. That’s cool. I’ll just get out of your hair,” I said wanting to run and hide.
“Hang on a sec, kiddo. I didn’t say I couldn’t use you around. I need someone to fill in for shifts when people call out which, as you know, is a lot. It definitely won’t be full-time or anything. Hell it won’t even be part-time. I just can’t afford that. But I could use an extra person on the weekends. It gets sort of crazy in here,” Jeb said, and I raised my eyebrows.
He couldn’t be serious. I looked around and saw that I was the only person besides him in the store. I had often wondered how Jeb afforded to keep the place open. I suspected it had something to do with tax write-offs, though I never bothered to ask. It was a paycheck, that’s all that had ever mattered.
And Jeb knew that business wasn’t great and never had been. So for him to say that he needed the extra help because of his booming trade was laughable. I almost called him out on his obvious delusion when I stopped myself. Realizing exactly what he was doing.
Jeb picked up the box of potato chips and walked down the aisle, distributing them on the shelves as he went. “So what do you think? Are you okay with that?” he asked.
I found that my chest was suddenly uncomfortably tight as I followed the balding, middle-aged shop owner throughout the store.
He didn’t need someone extra on the weekends. He was giving me hours because he knew I was desperate for the money. This had everything to do with helping me out and absolutely nothing about him.
“Um, yeah, that would be great,” I said around the giant lump that seemed lodged in my throat. Shit. I was going to cry or something.
“Okay, well come in on Friday evening and take over for Melanie. You can close up. We close at ten,” he said, not realizing how much his offer was affecting me.
“Yeah, I remember,” I replied, my voice rough and ragged.
Jeb looked up at me with a frown on his face. “Are you all right, kid?” he asked.
I tentatively put my hand on his shoulder and gave it an awkward pat. Jeb looked surprised and glanced down at my hand as though it were a bug.
“Thanks, Jeb. I mean that,” I said, clearing my throat. I wasn’t used to thanking anyone for anything. I had been shown so little kindness in Wellston that I had stopped even looking for it.
To find it here, from Jeb of all people, left me a little off balance. And feeling like maybe this Podunk little town in the middle of nowhere wasn’t so bad after all.
“I’ll see you on Friday?” Jeb asked, obviously weirded out by my mood. I didn’t blame him. I was standing there in the middle of his store looking like I was about to cry.
I straightened my shoulders and removed my hand from Jeb’s sleeve. “Yeah, sure. What time do you want me?” I asked.
“How about five o’clock,” he said, still frowning slightly.
“Sounds good. See ya then,” I told him and then all but ran from the store, feeling a little embarrassed by my behavior.
Well, I had a job. It wasn’t exactly what I had dreamed that I’d be doing when I graduated from college, but it was better than nothing. Because I wasn’t hearing my phone ringing with all those great opportunities.
Even with the burden of impending pennilessness alleviated for the time being, I didn’t feel exactly giddy. I couldn’t help but feeling like a failure.
What was the point of all that hard work if I ended right back where I started?
Get it together, Ellie! You need to go and have lunch with Flynn and you can’t be in a bad mood! I scolded myself.
I all but marched down the street to the IGA. I snatched up a basket and started walking up and down the aisles, grabbing random stuff, not really paying attention to what they were.
“Well, look here, Mable. It’s our little Eleanor.” The deep, gruff voice sent uncontrollable shivers down my spine and my body went into instant fight or flight mode. My fingers curled around the handle of the basket and gripped so hard I could feel the metal biting into my flesh.
I didn’t want to look up.
Fuck. When was I going to realize shopping at IGA was a bad idea?
I wanted to walk away without ever looking into the much hated smug, self-satisfied face. But to do that would be to admit that after all these years, he still got to me. That after everything he had put me through, his presence still affected me.
I clenched my teeth and blanked my face. There would be no expression. I would give him nothing.
