Cherish Hard
Page 66
Catie had stopped feeling self-conscious at some point, and by the end of the walk, she’d even gigglingly climbed onto Gabriel’s back as Ísa got up onto Sailor’s, the two brothers having challenged each other to a race.
Ísa still wasn’t sure who’d won. There’d been laughing accusations of cheating because Catie had removed her prosthetics beforehand. According to Danny, it made her lighter and therefore disqualified her and Gabriel. Catie, in turn, had pointed out that Ísa could hold on tighter with her legs whereas Gabriel had to use energy supporting Catie, so “Suck that, caveboy.”
When Danny had said he didn’t fight girls, Catie had threatened to beat him with a prosthetic. At which point the entire camp had collapsed into hysterics—the two combatants included. Ísa had never seen her sister so comfortable with anyone so quickly. Catie had even shared her chocolate with Danny and Jake.
If it all fell apart, it wasn’t only Ísa’s heart that would break. But it wasn’t going to fall apart, she thought furiously. She and Sailor had a plan.
And that plan relied on Ísa taking a back seat to Sailor’s ambition.
Cheeks hot with a burn that had nothing to do with embarrassment, Ísa sat up, arms linked around her knees. She’d been trying not to face that truth so bluntly, had put all her energy into figuring out how her and Sailor’s relationship could survive this. She’d been tough, fierce Ísa.
A fighter.
While her heart was cracking. Because all she’d ever wanted was for someone to put her first. To fight for her.
Pressing the back of her hand to her mouth, her eyes burning, she decided to take a walk in the cold night air. There was no point in giving in to self-pity. She’d made a decision and she’d see it through. Because no matter all her admonitions and plans to the contrary, Sailor Bishop owned her heart.
The idea of walking away from him, even to protect herself… it hurt.
Before sneaking out of the tent, she picked up the flashlight he’d given her. But it wasn’t as dark outside as she’d expected, the moon huge in the sky, which was a glittering carpet free of light pollution. Deciding she’d be fine without the flashlight, she slid it back into the tent where Catie would be able to find it, then began to pad barefoot over the grass toward the beach.
Bare feet aside, she was wearing flannel pajama pants paired with an old navy-colored T-shirt, her hair braided back, so she was decent, if not fashionable.
It was only seconds later that she realized the beach wasn’t empty.
A man sat on the sand, staring out at the water.
Ísa would recognize that profile, those shoulders, anywhere. And though she felt far too vulnerable to face Sailor’s blue eyes, she hated the sight of him so alone. It was no real decision to continue on in his direction. He glanced around right then, as if he’d sensed her.
“Couldn’t sleep?” he said when she was almost to him, his expression lighting up with a wild welcome that made all the pain worth it.
As long as Sailor kept looking at her that way, as if she were his personal Christmas, Ísa might just forgive him anything. It made her feel naked to admit that to herself, to realize how defenseless she was against this man.
Gut tight, she came down beside him on the sand. “Too much peace for this city girl.”
He put his arm, warm and strong, around her shoulders. “Cuddle closer.” It was a playful order. “I like my armful of redhead.”
Snuggling into him because she could deny him nothing, Ísa looked out at the moon-kissed water. “It is beautiful though.”
“Want to know a secret?”
“Always.”
“I was sitting here plotting how to reach into your tent and wake you without also waking Catie. For future reference, would you have screamed if someone tugged at your toes?”
Her shoulders shook. “I’d probably have kicked too.”
“Hmm, I need a new plan.” Tilting up her head, he kissed her so slow and deep and romantic that Ísa wasn’t the least surprised when she found herself on her back on the beach, the stars glittering behind Sailor’s head.
She brushed her fingers over his unshaven jaw. “You weren’t just sitting here plotting how to wake me. Something’s bothering you. What is it?”
“My demanding spitfire.”
Her glower had him grinning before he rose up and possessively manhandled her until she was kneeling between his raised knees, face-to-face with him. Ísa couldn’t help but drink in the attention. After this weekend, he’d have only brief minutes for her, and then she’d need the memories to carry her through.
“Is it the loan situation?” she asked, running both hands through his hair.
Hands linked at her back, he shook his head. “There are two things. The first is that I need to find the words to explain to my parents and my brother why I need to go it alone on the business front.” Raw emotion in his voice that he made no effort to hide. “I’m hurting them and I don’t want to—but I can’t accept their help.”
“Why?” It was time she understood what it was that drove Sailor so relentlessly.
“My biological father was a serious asshole,” he said flatly.
“You said he walked out on your family.”
“Went out to the corner shop and just never came back.” His lips twisted to the side. “We thought he’d return eventually—he’d pulled his disappearing acts before. But that time he decided to forget he had a family.”
* * *
EVEN AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, the betrayal was a kick to the gut. “I waited the longest,” Sailor admitted on a harsh breath. “I couldn’t believe he’d just leave us like that. I used to spend all my free time at the front window, watching for him. At least until we were evicted.”
Ísa’s gentle stroking, her hands weaving through his hair, it took the pain and turned it into a tenderness that was a fist around his heart. He had things to say to his Ísalind, but he’d show her all his scars first, reveal all his secrets.
And hope she’d forgive him.
“My fucking father had cleaned out all the bank accounts.” Sailor’s hands fisted behind Ísa’s back. “Brian even took the money from my and Gabe’s accounts. That was money our mother had put in literally five dollars at time so we wouldn’t miss out at school, so we’d have the money for supplies and extracurricular activities.” Sailor could barely bring himself to say the next words. “I loved that bastard so much.”
“You were a child.” Ferocious words, hands fisting in his hair to force him to hold her fiery gaze. “And he was your father. Of course you trusted him.”
Spreading his hands over her T-shirt, he pressed his forehead to her own and told her the worst of it. “I look like him.” He’d been fifteen when he’d stared into a mirror and seen the truth. “Mom never did anything dramatic like throw out all pictures of him. She’s always said that he’s our father and she wasn’t going to deprive us of our history.”
“I want to steal your mother,” Ísa said seriously. “She’s the kind of mom I want to be one day.”
Sailor caught the hesitation before the last words, wanted to punch himself. No, Ísa should be the one to punch him. He’d even give her a boxing glove so she could pound his stupid face without hurting herself.
Ísa still wasn’t sure who’d won. There’d been laughing accusations of cheating because Catie had removed her prosthetics beforehand. According to Danny, it made her lighter and therefore disqualified her and Gabriel. Catie, in turn, had pointed out that Ísa could hold on tighter with her legs whereas Gabriel had to use energy supporting Catie, so “Suck that, caveboy.”
When Danny had said he didn’t fight girls, Catie had threatened to beat him with a prosthetic. At which point the entire camp had collapsed into hysterics—the two combatants included. Ísa had never seen her sister so comfortable with anyone so quickly. Catie had even shared her chocolate with Danny and Jake.
If it all fell apart, it wasn’t only Ísa’s heart that would break. But it wasn’t going to fall apart, she thought furiously. She and Sailor had a plan.
And that plan relied on Ísa taking a back seat to Sailor’s ambition.
Cheeks hot with a burn that had nothing to do with embarrassment, Ísa sat up, arms linked around her knees. She’d been trying not to face that truth so bluntly, had put all her energy into figuring out how her and Sailor’s relationship could survive this. She’d been tough, fierce Ísa.
A fighter.
While her heart was cracking. Because all she’d ever wanted was for someone to put her first. To fight for her.
Pressing the back of her hand to her mouth, her eyes burning, she decided to take a walk in the cold night air. There was no point in giving in to self-pity. She’d made a decision and she’d see it through. Because no matter all her admonitions and plans to the contrary, Sailor Bishop owned her heart.
The idea of walking away from him, even to protect herself… it hurt.
Before sneaking out of the tent, she picked up the flashlight he’d given her. But it wasn’t as dark outside as she’d expected, the moon huge in the sky, which was a glittering carpet free of light pollution. Deciding she’d be fine without the flashlight, she slid it back into the tent where Catie would be able to find it, then began to pad barefoot over the grass toward the beach.
Bare feet aside, she was wearing flannel pajama pants paired with an old navy-colored T-shirt, her hair braided back, so she was decent, if not fashionable.
It was only seconds later that she realized the beach wasn’t empty.
A man sat on the sand, staring out at the water.
Ísa would recognize that profile, those shoulders, anywhere. And though she felt far too vulnerable to face Sailor’s blue eyes, she hated the sight of him so alone. It was no real decision to continue on in his direction. He glanced around right then, as if he’d sensed her.
“Couldn’t sleep?” he said when she was almost to him, his expression lighting up with a wild welcome that made all the pain worth it.
As long as Sailor kept looking at her that way, as if she were his personal Christmas, Ísa might just forgive him anything. It made her feel naked to admit that to herself, to realize how defenseless she was against this man.
Gut tight, she came down beside him on the sand. “Too much peace for this city girl.”
He put his arm, warm and strong, around her shoulders. “Cuddle closer.” It was a playful order. “I like my armful of redhead.”
Snuggling into him because she could deny him nothing, Ísa looked out at the moon-kissed water. “It is beautiful though.”
“Want to know a secret?”
“Always.”
“I was sitting here plotting how to reach into your tent and wake you without also waking Catie. For future reference, would you have screamed if someone tugged at your toes?”
Her shoulders shook. “I’d probably have kicked too.”
“Hmm, I need a new plan.” Tilting up her head, he kissed her so slow and deep and romantic that Ísa wasn’t the least surprised when she found herself on her back on the beach, the stars glittering behind Sailor’s head.
She brushed her fingers over his unshaven jaw. “You weren’t just sitting here plotting how to wake me. Something’s bothering you. What is it?”
“My demanding spitfire.”
Her glower had him grinning before he rose up and possessively manhandled her until she was kneeling between his raised knees, face-to-face with him. Ísa couldn’t help but drink in the attention. After this weekend, he’d have only brief minutes for her, and then she’d need the memories to carry her through.
“Is it the loan situation?” she asked, running both hands through his hair.
Hands linked at her back, he shook his head. “There are two things. The first is that I need to find the words to explain to my parents and my brother why I need to go it alone on the business front.” Raw emotion in his voice that he made no effort to hide. “I’m hurting them and I don’t want to—but I can’t accept their help.”
“Why?” It was time she understood what it was that drove Sailor so relentlessly.
“My biological father was a serious asshole,” he said flatly.
“You said he walked out on your family.”
“Went out to the corner shop and just never came back.” His lips twisted to the side. “We thought he’d return eventually—he’d pulled his disappearing acts before. But that time he decided to forget he had a family.”
* * *
EVEN AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, the betrayal was a kick to the gut. “I waited the longest,” Sailor admitted on a harsh breath. “I couldn’t believe he’d just leave us like that. I used to spend all my free time at the front window, watching for him. At least until we were evicted.”
Ísa’s gentle stroking, her hands weaving through his hair, it took the pain and turned it into a tenderness that was a fist around his heart. He had things to say to his Ísalind, but he’d show her all his scars first, reveal all his secrets.
And hope she’d forgive him.
“My fucking father had cleaned out all the bank accounts.” Sailor’s hands fisted behind Ísa’s back. “Brian even took the money from my and Gabe’s accounts. That was money our mother had put in literally five dollars at time so we wouldn’t miss out at school, so we’d have the money for supplies and extracurricular activities.” Sailor could barely bring himself to say the next words. “I loved that bastard so much.”
“You were a child.” Ferocious words, hands fisting in his hair to force him to hold her fiery gaze. “And he was your father. Of course you trusted him.”
Spreading his hands over her T-shirt, he pressed his forehead to her own and told her the worst of it. “I look like him.” He’d been fifteen when he’d stared into a mirror and seen the truth. “Mom never did anything dramatic like throw out all pictures of him. She’s always said that he’s our father and she wasn’t going to deprive us of our history.”
“I want to steal your mother,” Ísa said seriously. “She’s the kind of mom I want to be one day.”
Sailor caught the hesitation before the last words, wanted to punch himself. No, Ísa should be the one to punch him. He’d even give her a boxing glove so she could pound his stupid face without hurting herself.
