Chesapeake Blue
Page 40
"Huh?" Shock registered on her face.
"I need to settle something, so I need to kiss you. Like a regular guy would."
"Seth." She patted his arm. "This is weird. Did you get hit on the head or something?"
"I know it's weird," he shot back. "Do you think I don't know it's weird? Imagine how I feel bringing it up in the first place."
"How come you brought it up in the first place?"
He stalked down the dock, back again. "Dru has this idea that I—that we—Christ. That I'm attracted to you in a guy way. And possibly vice versa. Probably."
Aubrey blinked twice, slow as an owl. "She thinks I've got the hots for you?"
"Oh, Jesus, Aub."
"She thinks there's something like that between you and me, so she gave you the boot."
"More or less," he muttered.
"So you want to plant one on me because of her?"
"Yes. No. I f**king don't know." Could it be any worse? he wondered. Could he be more embarrassed, more itchy, more stupid?
"She put this damn idea in my head. I can't work it back out again. What if she's right?"
"What if she's right?" There was a laugh burbling in her throat, but she managed to swallow it. "What if you've got some suppressed fantasy going about us? Get real, Seth."
"Look, look." Impassioned in a way that made her blink again, he took her by the shoulders. "It's not going to kill you to kiss me."
"Okay, okay. Go ahead."
"Okay." He blew out a breath, started to lower his head, then straightened again. "I can't remember my moves. Give me a minute."
He stepped back, turned away and tried to clear his head. "Let's try this." He turned back, laid his hands on her hips to draw her against him. Seconds passed. "You could put your arms around me or something."
"Oh, sorry." She reached up, threaded her fingers together behind his head. "How's this?"
"Fine. That's fine. Come up a little," he suggested, so she rose on her toes. He bent his head. His mouth was a breath from hers when she snorted out a laugh.
"Oh Christ."
"Sorry. Sorry." The fit of giggles forced her to move back and hold her stomach. He stood, scowling, until she controlled herself. "I balked, that's all. Here we go." She started to put her arms around him again. "Shit, wait." Conscientiously, she took the gum out of her mouth, folded it into the old wrapper in her pocket. "If we're going to do this, let's do it right. Right?"
"If you can control the pig snorts."
"Free lesson, sport: When you're about to tangle tongues with a woman, you don't mention pork or swine."
She put her arms around him again, took a good strong hold this time and moved in herself before either of them could think about it.
They stayed locked, the breeze off the water fluttering over them. There was a hum as a car drove by on the road behind them, and the sudden desperate barking of a dog as it chased along behind the fence until the car disappeared.
Their lips separated, their eyes met. The silence between them held for several long seconds. Then they began to laugh.
Still holding each other, they rocked in a kind of whooping hilarity that would have put either one of them on the ground without the support. He lowered his forehead to hers on a relieved breath.
"So." She gave his butt a friendly pinch. "You want me, don't you?"
"Shut up, Aubrey."
He gave her, his sister, a fierce hug before he eased back.
"Thanks."
"No problem. Anyway, you're good at it."
"You too." He rubbed his knuckles over her cheek. "And we're never going to do that again."
"That's a deal."
He started to swing an arm around her shoulders, then stopped as an appalling thought struck. "You're not going to tell anybody about this, right? Like your mom, or Will. Anybody."
"Are you kidding?" Even the idea of it had her shuddering. "You either. Promise." She spat into her palm, held it out.
Seth grimaced down at her hand. "I should never have taught you that one." But resigned, and respectful of the pledge, he spat into his own, then solemnly shook hands.
HE WAS too restless to go home. And, he admitted, he needed a little more time before he faced his family with the kiss incident still fresh in his mind.
He had half a mind to go back to Dru's and let her know just how off the mark, how insulting, how wrong she'd been.
But the other half of his mind, the smarter half, warned him he wasn't in the mood to have a rational conversation with her yet.
She'd made him doubt himself, and it stung. He'd worked hard to reach and maintain his level of confidence, in himself, in his work, in his family. No woman was allowed to shake it. So they'd just move back a step before things went any further. He'd paint her because he couldn't do otherwise. But that would be all.
He didn't need to be involved with a woman who was that complicated, that unpredictable and that damn opinionated.
It was time to slow down, to concentrate on work and family. To solve his own problems before he took on anyone else's.
He parked at his studio, carted his equipment and the painting up the steps. He used his new cell phone to call home and let Anna know he wouldn't be back for dinner.
He turned on music, then set up to work on the watercolor from memory.
As with sailing, worries, annoyances, problems faded away when he painted. As a child, he'd escaped into drawing. Sometimes it had been as dramatic as survival, others as simple as warding off boredom. It had always been a pleasure for him, a quiet and personal one or a soaring celebration. In his late teens he'd harbored tremendous guilt and doubt because he'd never suffered for his art, never felt the drama of emotional conflict over it.
When he'd confessed all that to Cam, his brother had stared at him. "What, are you stupid?" Cam had demanded.
It had been exactly the right response to snap Seth out of a self-involved funk. There were times when a painting pulled away from him and he was left baffled and frustrated by the image in his mind that refused to be put on canvas.
But there were times when it flew for him, beyond any height he'd imagined he could achieve. When the light dimmed through the windows and he was forced to hit the overheads, he stepped back from the canvas, stared at what he'd done. And realized this was one of the times it had flown. There was a vibrancy to the colors—the green of the grass and leaves, the sunstruck amber of the water, the shock of red from the blanket and the milky white of her skin against it. The garden of flowers on her skirt was bold, a contrast to the delicate way the filmy material draped high on her thigh. There was the curve of her shoulder, the angle of her arm, the square edge of the blanket. And the way the diffused fingers of light fell over the dreamy expression on her face. He couldn't explain how he'd done it. Any more than he'd been able to tell Dru what he thought about when painting. The technical aspects of the work were just that. Technicalities. Necessary, essential, but as unconsciously accomplished when he worked as breathing. But how it was that a painting would sometimes draw out the heart of the artist, the core of the subject and allow it to breathe, he couldn't say.
"I need to settle something, so I need to kiss you. Like a regular guy would."
"Seth." She patted his arm. "This is weird. Did you get hit on the head or something?"
"I know it's weird," he shot back. "Do you think I don't know it's weird? Imagine how I feel bringing it up in the first place."
"How come you brought it up in the first place?"
He stalked down the dock, back again. "Dru has this idea that I—that we—Christ. That I'm attracted to you in a guy way. And possibly vice versa. Probably."
Aubrey blinked twice, slow as an owl. "She thinks I've got the hots for you?"
"Oh, Jesus, Aub."
"She thinks there's something like that between you and me, so she gave you the boot."
"More or less," he muttered.
"So you want to plant one on me because of her?"
"Yes. No. I f**king don't know." Could it be any worse? he wondered. Could he be more embarrassed, more itchy, more stupid?
"She put this damn idea in my head. I can't work it back out again. What if she's right?"
"What if she's right?" There was a laugh burbling in her throat, but she managed to swallow it. "What if you've got some suppressed fantasy going about us? Get real, Seth."
"Look, look." Impassioned in a way that made her blink again, he took her by the shoulders. "It's not going to kill you to kiss me."
"Okay, okay. Go ahead."
"Okay." He blew out a breath, started to lower his head, then straightened again. "I can't remember my moves. Give me a minute."
He stepped back, turned away and tried to clear his head. "Let's try this." He turned back, laid his hands on her hips to draw her against him. Seconds passed. "You could put your arms around me or something."
"Oh, sorry." She reached up, threaded her fingers together behind his head. "How's this?"
"Fine. That's fine. Come up a little," he suggested, so she rose on her toes. He bent his head. His mouth was a breath from hers when she snorted out a laugh.
"Oh Christ."
"Sorry. Sorry." The fit of giggles forced her to move back and hold her stomach. He stood, scowling, until she controlled herself. "I balked, that's all. Here we go." She started to put her arms around him again. "Shit, wait." Conscientiously, she took the gum out of her mouth, folded it into the old wrapper in her pocket. "If we're going to do this, let's do it right. Right?"
"If you can control the pig snorts."
"Free lesson, sport: When you're about to tangle tongues with a woman, you don't mention pork or swine."
She put her arms around him again, took a good strong hold this time and moved in herself before either of them could think about it.
They stayed locked, the breeze off the water fluttering over them. There was a hum as a car drove by on the road behind them, and the sudden desperate barking of a dog as it chased along behind the fence until the car disappeared.
Their lips separated, their eyes met. The silence between them held for several long seconds. Then they began to laugh.
Still holding each other, they rocked in a kind of whooping hilarity that would have put either one of them on the ground without the support. He lowered his forehead to hers on a relieved breath.
"So." She gave his butt a friendly pinch. "You want me, don't you?"
"Shut up, Aubrey."
He gave her, his sister, a fierce hug before he eased back.
"Thanks."
"No problem. Anyway, you're good at it."
"You too." He rubbed his knuckles over her cheek. "And we're never going to do that again."
"That's a deal."
He started to swing an arm around her shoulders, then stopped as an appalling thought struck. "You're not going to tell anybody about this, right? Like your mom, or Will. Anybody."
"Are you kidding?" Even the idea of it had her shuddering. "You either. Promise." She spat into her palm, held it out.
Seth grimaced down at her hand. "I should never have taught you that one." But resigned, and respectful of the pledge, he spat into his own, then solemnly shook hands.
HE WAS too restless to go home. And, he admitted, he needed a little more time before he faced his family with the kiss incident still fresh in his mind.
He had half a mind to go back to Dru's and let her know just how off the mark, how insulting, how wrong she'd been.
But the other half of his mind, the smarter half, warned him he wasn't in the mood to have a rational conversation with her yet.
She'd made him doubt himself, and it stung. He'd worked hard to reach and maintain his level of confidence, in himself, in his work, in his family. No woman was allowed to shake it. So they'd just move back a step before things went any further. He'd paint her because he couldn't do otherwise. But that would be all.
He didn't need to be involved with a woman who was that complicated, that unpredictable and that damn opinionated.
It was time to slow down, to concentrate on work and family. To solve his own problems before he took on anyone else's.
He parked at his studio, carted his equipment and the painting up the steps. He used his new cell phone to call home and let Anna know he wouldn't be back for dinner.
He turned on music, then set up to work on the watercolor from memory.
As with sailing, worries, annoyances, problems faded away when he painted. As a child, he'd escaped into drawing. Sometimes it had been as dramatic as survival, others as simple as warding off boredom. It had always been a pleasure for him, a quiet and personal one or a soaring celebration. In his late teens he'd harbored tremendous guilt and doubt because he'd never suffered for his art, never felt the drama of emotional conflict over it.
When he'd confessed all that to Cam, his brother had stared at him. "What, are you stupid?" Cam had demanded.
It had been exactly the right response to snap Seth out of a self-involved funk. There were times when a painting pulled away from him and he was left baffled and frustrated by the image in his mind that refused to be put on canvas.
But there were times when it flew for him, beyond any height he'd imagined he could achieve. When the light dimmed through the windows and he was forced to hit the overheads, he stepped back from the canvas, stared at what he'd done. And realized this was one of the times it had flown. There was a vibrancy to the colors—the green of the grass and leaves, the sunstruck amber of the water, the shock of red from the blanket and the milky white of her skin against it. The garden of flowers on her skirt was bold, a contrast to the delicate way the filmy material draped high on her thigh. There was the curve of her shoulder, the angle of her arm, the square edge of the blanket. And the way the diffused fingers of light fell over the dreamy expression on her face. He couldn't explain how he'd done it. Any more than he'd been able to tell Dru what he thought about when painting. The technical aspects of the work were just that. Technicalities. Necessary, essential, but as unconsciously accomplished when he worked as breathing. But how it was that a painting would sometimes draw out the heart of the artist, the core of the subject and allow it to breathe, he couldn't say.
