Christmas at Rosie Hopkins’ Sweetshop
Page 46
‘They don’t put the central heating on for visitors?’
‘They don’t have central heating. They oil light their stoves for the children.’
‘Who doesn’t have central heating?’ scoffed Angie. ‘And they’re posh.’
‘Well, can you at least take a shawl or something?’
‘But then I don’t get to show off my tan.’
Rosie didn’t want to point out how crêpey the tan looked around the bust line. Also the strapless dress didn’t really hold itself up terribly well, which was a bit of a worry. If they sat at a high table, Angie would look completely naked.
Desleigh, meanwhile, eating crisps, was wearing something schlumpy in black, but had put on lots of heavy eyeliner. It had the odd effect of making her look like a teenager, but in a very peculiar way.
‘You look gorge, Ange, don’t listen to her.’
Shane remained buried in his Nintendo.
‘Um, he’s not going to bring that, is he?’ whispered Rosie to Pip, who looked bemused.
‘Why not?’ he said. ‘It’ll keep him quiet.’
‘Mu-um,’ said Kelly. ‘Meridian’s getting ready in the wrong stuff, not the stuff you told her to.’
‘I AMN’T!’ came a loud voice in panic.
‘She is, Mum, she’s doing it all wrong.’
Kelly appeared in the sitting room wearing a Disney princess costume that was a little too tight under the arms and gave her the rather off-putting appearance of having an incipient bust. Scampering after her looking very hot and cross was Meridian, half strangled in a Spiderman pyjamas top that was far too big for her.
‘Oi!’ said Shane, seemingly without looking up. ‘Take off my pyjamas, you bogan.’
‘AMN’T,’ came a voice under rather a lot of bri-nylon.
‘Oh Lor, not with the Spiderman again,’ said Desleigh. Kelly rolled her eyes at the same time as her mother. ‘You’re a girl,’ said Desleigh crossly. ‘You can’t be Spiderman.’
‘I SPIDERMAN.’
‘You can be a princess,’ said Kelly helpfully. ‘Or a fairy. Or a fairy princess.’ Helpfully she did a little spin.
‘NO!’
‘Can’t she just be Spiderman?’ said Rosie, realising they were getting terribly late.
‘Not in my bloody pyjamas,’ said Shane.
‘Don’t say bloody,’ said Pip automatically.
‘Has she got anything else?’ said Rosie.
‘She’s got my old fairy princess dress,’ said Kelly. ‘That I very kindly let her have.’
‘DOAN WANT IT.’
‘Only we’re going to be late.’
Desleigh looked off into the middle distance as if this was all somebody else’s problem. Angie came forward and started negotiating with Meridian, which didn’t seem to be working in the slightest. She seemed to be on the point of begging. Rosie dashed into a bedroom and came back with one of Stephen’s old scarves. He wouldn’t mind, thought Rosie. It was an emergency.
‘Now, Meridian,’ she said, kneeling down so she was facing her, like Supernanny told her to do (Rosie wouldn’t have admitted to watching Supernanny in a million years). ‘Here’s a Spider belt for all your Spider things, okay?’
Meridian stopped bawling and looked up at her, blinking away tears.
‘A real one?’
‘Yes,’ said Rosie, brooking no argument. ‘Look.’
She pulled down the pyjama top so that it hung to Meridian’s knees, then she rolled up the sleeves and tied the scarf around Meridian’s waist to make an unconventional dress.
‘And Spiderman isn’t wearing his Spider trousers today…’ Meridian’s lip started to quiver. ‘… because… Desleigh, have you got tights for her?’
Desleigh nodded and produced a pair of little girl’s black tights, brand new, from her bag.
‘They’re to go with her dress,’ she said.
‘Look at those!’ Rosie said to Meridian. ‘Look!’ She unfolded them. Meridian’s eyes started to widen.
‘This is… BAT LEGS,’ said Meridian.
‘I think they are bat legs,’ said Rosie.
‘They! Are! Bat! Legs! Like BATMAN!’
Rosie nodded.
‘You know this makes you Spiderman AND Batman?’ she said.
Meridian nodded reverently. ‘Look at my bat legs, Kelly!’
‘No they’re not,’ said Kelly. ‘You’re a girl.’
‘And I want my pyjamas back,’ said Shane.
‘Come on, everyone, in the car,’ said Angie finally, for which Rosie was very grateful.
Pip walked over to the Land Rover with her.
‘Are you okay?’ he said. ‘You seem a bit stressed out.’
Rosie smiled at him.
‘You are very good at never getting stressed out.’
‘No point,’ said Pip. ‘You just got to roll with it. But I’m not surprised this weather makes you tense.’
‘I like this weather,’ said Rosie, scraping down the windscreen.
‘Sure, sis, whatever you say,’ said Pip. ‘But you know, it’s just your boyf’s house, yeah? I don’t know why you’re so stressy about it.’
Rosie considered this, crossly. Neither did she.
As they approached Lipton Hall along the long driveway, Rosie noticed that her mother’s mouth had dropped open at the sight of all the turrets and windows.
‘It must cost a fortune to heat this place,’ she said.
‘Ah,’ said Rosie. ‘For the school children it does.’ She had drawn up at the back door, only to notice that Hetty was at the front door, and had to make a speedy reversal on the gravel. Mr Dog was already squeaking from excitement. Shane didn’t even look up from his game.
Moray had phoned earlier to say that he’d drop Lilian off.
‘Aren’t you staying?’ said Rosie. She wouldn’t have minded some neutral buffering.
There was a long silence.
‘What?’ said Rosie.
‘You haven’t eaten at the big house before.’
‘I have so, I went to the hunt ball.’
‘Oh, my darling. That was catered. You know she’s given Mrs Laird the night off?’
‘So?’
‘They don’t have central heating. They oil light their stoves for the children.’
‘Who doesn’t have central heating?’ scoffed Angie. ‘And they’re posh.’
‘Well, can you at least take a shawl or something?’
‘But then I don’t get to show off my tan.’
Rosie didn’t want to point out how crêpey the tan looked around the bust line. Also the strapless dress didn’t really hold itself up terribly well, which was a bit of a worry. If they sat at a high table, Angie would look completely naked.
Desleigh, meanwhile, eating crisps, was wearing something schlumpy in black, but had put on lots of heavy eyeliner. It had the odd effect of making her look like a teenager, but in a very peculiar way.
‘You look gorge, Ange, don’t listen to her.’
Shane remained buried in his Nintendo.
‘Um, he’s not going to bring that, is he?’ whispered Rosie to Pip, who looked bemused.
‘Why not?’ he said. ‘It’ll keep him quiet.’
‘Mu-um,’ said Kelly. ‘Meridian’s getting ready in the wrong stuff, not the stuff you told her to.’
‘I AMN’T!’ came a loud voice in panic.
‘She is, Mum, she’s doing it all wrong.’
Kelly appeared in the sitting room wearing a Disney princess costume that was a little too tight under the arms and gave her the rather off-putting appearance of having an incipient bust. Scampering after her looking very hot and cross was Meridian, half strangled in a Spiderman pyjamas top that was far too big for her.
‘Oi!’ said Shane, seemingly without looking up. ‘Take off my pyjamas, you bogan.’
‘AMN’T,’ came a voice under rather a lot of bri-nylon.
‘Oh Lor, not with the Spiderman again,’ said Desleigh. Kelly rolled her eyes at the same time as her mother. ‘You’re a girl,’ said Desleigh crossly. ‘You can’t be Spiderman.’
‘I SPIDERMAN.’
‘You can be a princess,’ said Kelly helpfully. ‘Or a fairy. Or a fairy princess.’ Helpfully she did a little spin.
‘NO!’
‘Can’t she just be Spiderman?’ said Rosie, realising they were getting terribly late.
‘Not in my bloody pyjamas,’ said Shane.
‘Don’t say bloody,’ said Pip automatically.
‘Has she got anything else?’ said Rosie.
‘She’s got my old fairy princess dress,’ said Kelly. ‘That I very kindly let her have.’
‘DOAN WANT IT.’
‘Only we’re going to be late.’
Desleigh looked off into the middle distance as if this was all somebody else’s problem. Angie came forward and started negotiating with Meridian, which didn’t seem to be working in the slightest. She seemed to be on the point of begging. Rosie dashed into a bedroom and came back with one of Stephen’s old scarves. He wouldn’t mind, thought Rosie. It was an emergency.
‘Now, Meridian,’ she said, kneeling down so she was facing her, like Supernanny told her to do (Rosie wouldn’t have admitted to watching Supernanny in a million years). ‘Here’s a Spider belt for all your Spider things, okay?’
Meridian stopped bawling and looked up at her, blinking away tears.
‘A real one?’
‘Yes,’ said Rosie, brooking no argument. ‘Look.’
She pulled down the pyjama top so that it hung to Meridian’s knees, then she rolled up the sleeves and tied the scarf around Meridian’s waist to make an unconventional dress.
‘And Spiderman isn’t wearing his Spider trousers today…’ Meridian’s lip started to quiver. ‘… because… Desleigh, have you got tights for her?’
Desleigh nodded and produced a pair of little girl’s black tights, brand new, from her bag.
‘They’re to go with her dress,’ she said.
‘Look at those!’ Rosie said to Meridian. ‘Look!’ She unfolded them. Meridian’s eyes started to widen.
‘This is… BAT LEGS,’ said Meridian.
‘I think they are bat legs,’ said Rosie.
‘They! Are! Bat! Legs! Like BATMAN!’
Rosie nodded.
‘You know this makes you Spiderman AND Batman?’ she said.
Meridian nodded reverently. ‘Look at my bat legs, Kelly!’
‘No they’re not,’ said Kelly. ‘You’re a girl.’
‘And I want my pyjamas back,’ said Shane.
‘Come on, everyone, in the car,’ said Angie finally, for which Rosie was very grateful.
Pip walked over to the Land Rover with her.
‘Are you okay?’ he said. ‘You seem a bit stressed out.’
Rosie smiled at him.
‘You are very good at never getting stressed out.’
‘No point,’ said Pip. ‘You just got to roll with it. But I’m not surprised this weather makes you tense.’
‘I like this weather,’ said Rosie, scraping down the windscreen.
‘Sure, sis, whatever you say,’ said Pip. ‘But you know, it’s just your boyf’s house, yeah? I don’t know why you’re so stressy about it.’
Rosie considered this, crossly. Neither did she.
As they approached Lipton Hall along the long driveway, Rosie noticed that her mother’s mouth had dropped open at the sight of all the turrets and windows.
‘It must cost a fortune to heat this place,’ she said.
‘Ah,’ said Rosie. ‘For the school children it does.’ She had drawn up at the back door, only to notice that Hetty was at the front door, and had to make a speedy reversal on the gravel. Mr Dog was already squeaking from excitement. Shane didn’t even look up from his game.
Moray had phoned earlier to say that he’d drop Lilian off.
‘Aren’t you staying?’ said Rosie. She wouldn’t have minded some neutral buffering.
There was a long silence.
‘What?’ said Rosie.
‘You haven’t eaten at the big house before.’
‘I have so, I went to the hunt ball.’
‘Oh, my darling. That was catered. You know she’s given Mrs Laird the night off?’
‘So?’
