Christmas on 4th Street
Page 20
One more night, Noelle thought as Gabriel took another card and slipped it into his hand. He studied the cards. One more night sharing a bed. Last night she’d been too exhausted to enjoy the closeness, but tonight she planned to savor the snuggling. And maybe come up with a plan to take things to the next level.
Whoever had stocked the cabin had been really thorough. There was a fresh box of condoms in the small medicine cabinet, along with aspirin and a first-aid kit. As no one was injured, she found the condoms most interesting.
She was pretty sure that making love with Gabriel was a stupid idea, but she no longer cared. She liked him. He was sweet and sexy and it had been way too long since she’d been held by a man. She accepted that he was leaving and not interested in anything long-term. While remembering her goals was important, so was living in the moment. And he was a real in-the-moment temptation.
“Gin,” he said, spreading out his cards on the table.
She stared at them. “No way.”
He shrugged. “Look for yourself.”
“You got gin last time.”
“The cards love me.”
She checked his runs and sets and saw that he really had won. She put hers on the table and was able to get rid of a couple of her extra cards by adding them to his, then she calculated the points.
“You’re annoying,” she told him.
He chuckled, then got up and stretched before crossing to the counter and picking up a bottle of wine.
“A saucy red,” he told her.
“I love it when wine gets saucy.”
He dug around in the drawers and found an opener. She went to get glasses. The lights flickered and then came on. The refrigerator began to hum. She stared at Gabriel.
“No way,” she said. “That’s more incredible than you winning two games in a row. We have power?”
“Gotta love the town,” he said, crossing to one of the vents and holding out his hand. “And we have heat.”
They also had access to the hot plate, she thought, carrying the lanterns over to the wall and plugging them in so they could charge. Even heating food on a woodstove was complicated.
He carried the wine over to the sofa, and she joined him. The cats were sleeping.
“I’m not sure how we’re going to transport all nine cats tomorrow,” she said, after taking a sip.
He pointed to the metal box that currently held kindling. “I figured we’d line that with a blanket and put the kittens inside. The mother cats will be loose, I guess. It’s not like we’ll be going fast, so they should be okay.”
“We’ll have to make it work. I’m worried that once we get out, we won’t be able to get back for a while and I don’t want to leave one of the families behind.”
“We won’t.”
Then she would have two new families in her small place, she thought, making a mental list of what she would need. When the kittens were old enough to be adopted, she would rally her friends to help her find them homes. The mother cats would need to be spayed, as well. It was a lot to take on, but she was confident she could manage.
The room was silent, with only the crackling of the fire as background noise. “Not exactly the fast-paced hospital life you’ve been used to,” she said.
“That’s okay. I needed a break.”
“And shoveling snow for hours at a time is what you were hoping for?”
“It’s good exercise.”
She turned to look at him. “Would you have become a doctor if you hadn’t joined the army?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I didn’t want to be a soldier, which didn’t leave a lot of options. I’m good at what I do. I know I make a difference.”
“At a price,” she said, thinking about all he’d told her about his work.
“It’s nothing compared to what those fighting have to pay.” He leaned back against the sofa. “Sometimes I think about what I could do instead. Live somewhere permanently. Have friends outside the medical profession.”
“You don’t have that now?”
“I avoid getting too close to anyone.”
She thought about the girlfriend he’d lost so horribly and unexpectedly. “I guess that makes sense.”
He nodded. “It’s hard to have to patch up a friend and not know if he or she is going to make it, while still having to move on to someone else.”
The realization of all he’d sacrificed made her sad. Somewhere along the way Gabriel had learned that the price of loving was too high. He was no longer willing to risk his heart because it all could be gone tomorrow. The wrong lesson, she was convinced, but she had no way to prove it to him. She reached for his hand—the one that had been injured. The wound had healed over and now there was only the scar. She put down her wine and held his hand in both of hers. There was strength here, she thought. Knowledge. He could recover, or at the very least, ward off death.
She looked back at his face and saw him looking at her. His gaze was hooded, as if he didn’t want her to know what he was thinking.
In that moment, staring into his dark blue eyes, she understood that she’d never had a choice in the matter. That her destiny with Gabriel had been set from the second she’d seen him. He was kind and funny and smart and irreverent and he knew about cats. He was the kind of man who hiked through the wilderness to find the perfect tree for a window display that didn’t matter to him at all. He gave his all and expected nothing in return.
She wanted to tell him that he could have her heart. He could take it with him, if he wanted, because it was his. Only he wouldn’t understand the gesture as a gift. He would think she was trying to trap him, and she wasn’t.
“I’ll be right back,” she said instead and stood. She crossed to the tiny bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. She pulled out the box of condoms and put them on the small table by the bed, then turned to face him.
He’d risen to his feet, but didn’t walk toward her. “I wondered if you’d seen those.”
“I did,” she said, pulling her T-shirt off and draping it over the footboard. She unfastened her jeans and let them fall to the floor.
He put down his wine. “Just like that?”
“Did you want more drama?”
“No,” he said and moved toward her.
She went into his arms. He drew her against him, moving his hands up and down her back. His fingers paused on the back of her bra. She felt a slight tug as the hooks were pulled free, and then it fell away.
She pressed her lips to his as his hands slid up her sides and shifted to cup her breasts. Heat and need poured through her. She met his tongue stroke for stroke, even as she tugged on the hem of his sweater.
He pulled it off, then moved them to the bed. He touched her everywhere, arousing her with first his fingers then his tongue, exciting her until her breath came in pants and her release was inevitable. She helped him undress, silently pleased his hands trembled. After slipping on the condom, he joined with her, as the sun slipped slowly over the horizon.
* * *
“I can’t see you as a heartless corporate lawyer,” Gabriel said, his hand moving up and down her bare belly.
They were stretched out on the bed, their bodies sated...at least for the moment. Noelle liked that they were still na**d and touching each other. To her the real test of sexual compatibility wasn’t in the moment. Anyone could make that good. It was after. Were there regrets? Did she want to make love again? Could they laugh?
“I wasn’t heartless,” she told him. “Which might have turned out to be a problem. Although I suppose I should point out that not all corporate lawyers are heartless.”
One eyebrow rose.
She grinned. “Okay, some of them aren’t. How’s that?”
“I’m still having trouble believing that.” He moved his hand over one breast, then the other. He paused to tease her nipples, which made her shiver.
His gaze sharpened. “You like that.”
“I liked pretty much everything you did,” she admitted. “I’m sure your technique has been honed by all your experience.”
He groaned and rolled on his back. “I never should have admitted that to you.”
She propped her head on her hand and smiled. “The fact that you used sex as a way to escape from your job pressures?” She paused. “Yeah, not your smartest conversational move. Because you can’t unsay it and I will never, ever forget.”
He glanced at her, the corner of his mouth turning up. “I wasn’t a complete dog.”
“Interesting, because I hear a distinct yipping in the background.”
“When I was in a relationship, I was faithful.”
“I have no proof of that.”
The smile faded. “I wouldn’t do that. I don’t get the point. If someone’s unhappy, talk about it. If you can’t fix it, man up and be honest about wanting to leave.”
“I know,” she said, leaning forward and lightly kissing him.
He took her free hand in his and brought it to his groin. She stroked him, taking him from relaxed to aroused in about three seconds.
She’d been about to suggest they get dressed and eat, but this was so much more interesting, she thought. Especially when he drew her up so she was straddling him.
She leaned over and let her hair trail along his chest. He moved his hand between them and found her very center. He smiled slowly.
“I challenge you to a test of wills,” he said. “Who can last the longest?”
She sighed as he reached for the condoms. “At last, a game I’m going to enjoy losing.”
* * *
The doors to the triage center opened again. They had a distinctive squeak, so Gabriel knew a second before it happened that yet another wounded soldier was being wheeled in. There was blood everywhere, and cries of pain.
He pointed to where the soldier should go and tried to get out of the way, but he couldn’t. There were too many wounded and he was unable to make room. The doors opened again and he could see the line of gurneys stretched on forever. There were hundreds who needed him. Thousands. And he could never be enough.
He came awake with a start. In the darkness, he had no idea where he was or what was happening. Then the scent of the fire drifted to him and he heard the soft rumble of one of the cats purring. Memories returned and he was able to place himself in the cabin.
Noelle slept next to him. He put his arm around her and drew her against him. She was as warm and yielding in sleep as she had been awake. He hung on to her and steadied his breathing.
He didn’t need to study psychology to understand what the dream meant. He was exhausted from his work. Drained down to his soul. It would take months to heal—maybe years. But he only had until the first of January before he had to decide and he honest to God didn’t know what to do.
The decision should be about staying in the army and nothing else. But somehow Noelle had woven her way into his life—into how he thought and what he wanted to do. He’d never meant to get involved. Never meant to care. Because there was no point. They could both be dead tomorrow.
Only in her arms, right now, it didn’t feel like that. It felt like there could be possibilities. And he understood that concept scared him more than any mortar shell ever could.
Chapter 11
Noelle felt Gabriel get out of bed. She was sure it was early in the morning, but she couldn’t see the clock. She sat up and turned on the small lamp by the bed. Gabriel pulled on his jeans before facing her.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, taking in his drawn features. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Go back to sleep.”
“It’s not exactly something you can order me to do.” She got up and looked around for her clothes. She’d been down to her underwear the first time they’d gone to bed, and had only been wearing her T-shirt the second.
She couldn’t see any clothes anywhere and started to lean over and to move the covers when Gabriel swore. She turned and saw him holding out his shirt.
“Put this on. Please.”
He sounded both furious and pleading. She shrugged into the shirt and fastened the buttons. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing. We have to get out of here.”
“Yes, that’s the plan. When the plow comes, we’ll drive back to town.”
He ran his hands through his hair. “That’s not good enough. We need to go now.”
She shifted so she could see the clock. “It’s five in the morning. The plows won’t have been here. Are you going to dig us out all the way to the road?”
“If I have to.”
She spotted her panties and her bra and scooped them up. She wasn’t sure what had happened in the past half dozen hours, but whatever it was, it was bad. Last night Gabriel had been a warm, attentive lover. This morning he was acting as if she’d done something wrong. Or as if she wanted something unreasonable from him.
She knew neither was true and refused to let herself go there. Something was bugging Gabriel. For all she knew, it had nothing to do with her. Or maybe their great two days together had rattled him to the point where he couldn’t cope. On the surface, he was a smart, charming guy. But underneath, he was as wounded as the soldiers he treated. Either way, she wasn’t taking the blame for something she didn’t do.
She retreated to the bathroom and dressed quickly. When she stepped back into the main room, he was gone. She told herself that if he wanted to shovel them back to town, she wished him luck.
She spent the next hour taking care of the little cabin. She fed the cats, then let them out. She washed dishes, made coffee and generally straightened up. She’d already made a list of the supplies they’d used so she could replace them later. She would talk to Mayor Marsha about how to do that. No one wanted her driving back to the cabin while there was snow on the ground.
Whoever had stocked the cabin had been really thorough. There was a fresh box of condoms in the small medicine cabinet, along with aspirin and a first-aid kit. As no one was injured, she found the condoms most interesting.
She was pretty sure that making love with Gabriel was a stupid idea, but she no longer cared. She liked him. He was sweet and sexy and it had been way too long since she’d been held by a man. She accepted that he was leaving and not interested in anything long-term. While remembering her goals was important, so was living in the moment. And he was a real in-the-moment temptation.
“Gin,” he said, spreading out his cards on the table.
She stared at them. “No way.”
He shrugged. “Look for yourself.”
“You got gin last time.”
“The cards love me.”
She checked his runs and sets and saw that he really had won. She put hers on the table and was able to get rid of a couple of her extra cards by adding them to his, then she calculated the points.
“You’re annoying,” she told him.
He chuckled, then got up and stretched before crossing to the counter and picking up a bottle of wine.
“A saucy red,” he told her.
“I love it when wine gets saucy.”
He dug around in the drawers and found an opener. She went to get glasses. The lights flickered and then came on. The refrigerator began to hum. She stared at Gabriel.
“No way,” she said. “That’s more incredible than you winning two games in a row. We have power?”
“Gotta love the town,” he said, crossing to one of the vents and holding out his hand. “And we have heat.”
They also had access to the hot plate, she thought, carrying the lanterns over to the wall and plugging them in so they could charge. Even heating food on a woodstove was complicated.
He carried the wine over to the sofa, and she joined him. The cats were sleeping.
“I’m not sure how we’re going to transport all nine cats tomorrow,” she said, after taking a sip.
He pointed to the metal box that currently held kindling. “I figured we’d line that with a blanket and put the kittens inside. The mother cats will be loose, I guess. It’s not like we’ll be going fast, so they should be okay.”
“We’ll have to make it work. I’m worried that once we get out, we won’t be able to get back for a while and I don’t want to leave one of the families behind.”
“We won’t.”
Then she would have two new families in her small place, she thought, making a mental list of what she would need. When the kittens were old enough to be adopted, she would rally her friends to help her find them homes. The mother cats would need to be spayed, as well. It was a lot to take on, but she was confident she could manage.
The room was silent, with only the crackling of the fire as background noise. “Not exactly the fast-paced hospital life you’ve been used to,” she said.
“That’s okay. I needed a break.”
“And shoveling snow for hours at a time is what you were hoping for?”
“It’s good exercise.”
She turned to look at him. “Would you have become a doctor if you hadn’t joined the army?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I didn’t want to be a soldier, which didn’t leave a lot of options. I’m good at what I do. I know I make a difference.”
“At a price,” she said, thinking about all he’d told her about his work.
“It’s nothing compared to what those fighting have to pay.” He leaned back against the sofa. “Sometimes I think about what I could do instead. Live somewhere permanently. Have friends outside the medical profession.”
“You don’t have that now?”
“I avoid getting too close to anyone.”
She thought about the girlfriend he’d lost so horribly and unexpectedly. “I guess that makes sense.”
He nodded. “It’s hard to have to patch up a friend and not know if he or she is going to make it, while still having to move on to someone else.”
The realization of all he’d sacrificed made her sad. Somewhere along the way Gabriel had learned that the price of loving was too high. He was no longer willing to risk his heart because it all could be gone tomorrow. The wrong lesson, she was convinced, but she had no way to prove it to him. She reached for his hand—the one that had been injured. The wound had healed over and now there was only the scar. She put down her wine and held his hand in both of hers. There was strength here, she thought. Knowledge. He could recover, or at the very least, ward off death.
She looked back at his face and saw him looking at her. His gaze was hooded, as if he didn’t want her to know what he was thinking.
In that moment, staring into his dark blue eyes, she understood that she’d never had a choice in the matter. That her destiny with Gabriel had been set from the second she’d seen him. He was kind and funny and smart and irreverent and he knew about cats. He was the kind of man who hiked through the wilderness to find the perfect tree for a window display that didn’t matter to him at all. He gave his all and expected nothing in return.
She wanted to tell him that he could have her heart. He could take it with him, if he wanted, because it was his. Only he wouldn’t understand the gesture as a gift. He would think she was trying to trap him, and she wasn’t.
“I’ll be right back,” she said instead and stood. She crossed to the tiny bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. She pulled out the box of condoms and put them on the small table by the bed, then turned to face him.
He’d risen to his feet, but didn’t walk toward her. “I wondered if you’d seen those.”
“I did,” she said, pulling her T-shirt off and draping it over the footboard. She unfastened her jeans and let them fall to the floor.
He put down his wine. “Just like that?”
“Did you want more drama?”
“No,” he said and moved toward her.
She went into his arms. He drew her against him, moving his hands up and down her back. His fingers paused on the back of her bra. She felt a slight tug as the hooks were pulled free, and then it fell away.
She pressed her lips to his as his hands slid up her sides and shifted to cup her breasts. Heat and need poured through her. She met his tongue stroke for stroke, even as she tugged on the hem of his sweater.
He pulled it off, then moved them to the bed. He touched her everywhere, arousing her with first his fingers then his tongue, exciting her until her breath came in pants and her release was inevitable. She helped him undress, silently pleased his hands trembled. After slipping on the condom, he joined with her, as the sun slipped slowly over the horizon.
* * *
“I can’t see you as a heartless corporate lawyer,” Gabriel said, his hand moving up and down her bare belly.
They were stretched out on the bed, their bodies sated...at least for the moment. Noelle liked that they were still na**d and touching each other. To her the real test of sexual compatibility wasn’t in the moment. Anyone could make that good. It was after. Were there regrets? Did she want to make love again? Could they laugh?
“I wasn’t heartless,” she told him. “Which might have turned out to be a problem. Although I suppose I should point out that not all corporate lawyers are heartless.”
One eyebrow rose.
She grinned. “Okay, some of them aren’t. How’s that?”
“I’m still having trouble believing that.” He moved his hand over one breast, then the other. He paused to tease her nipples, which made her shiver.
His gaze sharpened. “You like that.”
“I liked pretty much everything you did,” she admitted. “I’m sure your technique has been honed by all your experience.”
He groaned and rolled on his back. “I never should have admitted that to you.”
She propped her head on her hand and smiled. “The fact that you used sex as a way to escape from your job pressures?” She paused. “Yeah, not your smartest conversational move. Because you can’t unsay it and I will never, ever forget.”
He glanced at her, the corner of his mouth turning up. “I wasn’t a complete dog.”
“Interesting, because I hear a distinct yipping in the background.”
“When I was in a relationship, I was faithful.”
“I have no proof of that.”
The smile faded. “I wouldn’t do that. I don’t get the point. If someone’s unhappy, talk about it. If you can’t fix it, man up and be honest about wanting to leave.”
“I know,” she said, leaning forward and lightly kissing him.
He took her free hand in his and brought it to his groin. She stroked him, taking him from relaxed to aroused in about three seconds.
She’d been about to suggest they get dressed and eat, but this was so much more interesting, she thought. Especially when he drew her up so she was straddling him.
She leaned over and let her hair trail along his chest. He moved his hand between them and found her very center. He smiled slowly.
“I challenge you to a test of wills,” he said. “Who can last the longest?”
She sighed as he reached for the condoms. “At last, a game I’m going to enjoy losing.”
* * *
The doors to the triage center opened again. They had a distinctive squeak, so Gabriel knew a second before it happened that yet another wounded soldier was being wheeled in. There was blood everywhere, and cries of pain.
He pointed to where the soldier should go and tried to get out of the way, but he couldn’t. There were too many wounded and he was unable to make room. The doors opened again and he could see the line of gurneys stretched on forever. There were hundreds who needed him. Thousands. And he could never be enough.
He came awake with a start. In the darkness, he had no idea where he was or what was happening. Then the scent of the fire drifted to him and he heard the soft rumble of one of the cats purring. Memories returned and he was able to place himself in the cabin.
Noelle slept next to him. He put his arm around her and drew her against him. She was as warm and yielding in sleep as she had been awake. He hung on to her and steadied his breathing.
He didn’t need to study psychology to understand what the dream meant. He was exhausted from his work. Drained down to his soul. It would take months to heal—maybe years. But he only had until the first of January before he had to decide and he honest to God didn’t know what to do.
The decision should be about staying in the army and nothing else. But somehow Noelle had woven her way into his life—into how he thought and what he wanted to do. He’d never meant to get involved. Never meant to care. Because there was no point. They could both be dead tomorrow.
Only in her arms, right now, it didn’t feel like that. It felt like there could be possibilities. And he understood that concept scared him more than any mortar shell ever could.
Chapter 11
Noelle felt Gabriel get out of bed. She was sure it was early in the morning, but she couldn’t see the clock. She sat up and turned on the small lamp by the bed. Gabriel pulled on his jeans before facing her.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, taking in his drawn features. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Go back to sleep.”
“It’s not exactly something you can order me to do.” She got up and looked around for her clothes. She’d been down to her underwear the first time they’d gone to bed, and had only been wearing her T-shirt the second.
She couldn’t see any clothes anywhere and started to lean over and to move the covers when Gabriel swore. She turned and saw him holding out his shirt.
“Put this on. Please.”
He sounded both furious and pleading. She shrugged into the shirt and fastened the buttons. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing. We have to get out of here.”
“Yes, that’s the plan. When the plow comes, we’ll drive back to town.”
He ran his hands through his hair. “That’s not good enough. We need to go now.”
She shifted so she could see the clock. “It’s five in the morning. The plows won’t have been here. Are you going to dig us out all the way to the road?”
“If I have to.”
She spotted her panties and her bra and scooped them up. She wasn’t sure what had happened in the past half dozen hours, but whatever it was, it was bad. Last night Gabriel had been a warm, attentive lover. This morning he was acting as if she’d done something wrong. Or as if she wanted something unreasonable from him.
She knew neither was true and refused to let herself go there. Something was bugging Gabriel. For all she knew, it had nothing to do with her. Or maybe their great two days together had rattled him to the point where he couldn’t cope. On the surface, he was a smart, charming guy. But underneath, he was as wounded as the soldiers he treated. Either way, she wasn’t taking the blame for something she didn’t do.
She retreated to the bathroom and dressed quickly. When she stepped back into the main room, he was gone. She told herself that if he wanted to shovel them back to town, she wished him luck.
She spent the next hour taking care of the little cabin. She fed the cats, then let them out. She washed dishes, made coffee and generally straightened up. She’d already made a list of the supplies they’d used so she could replace them later. She would talk to Mayor Marsha about how to do that. No one wanted her driving back to the cabin while there was snow on the ground.
