Claim
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She shrugged. “I’m sure other women have done worse. Besides, I’d have your family to help out, we could hire a firm to help with the packing and unpacking. And I’d probably have to give in and hire a nanny for awhile, at least until we settled in.”
“That’s just part of it,” he argued. “The other part, which is far more intrusive, would entail me having to travel to every single hotel in the region within the first few months. They’d be quick visits, probably half a day each, just to meet the manager and get a brief tour, but it would still take a few months to fit them all in. I’d be away from home three weeks a month - months when our son would be an infant and you’d be left to deal with his care by yourself. And when I’d miss out on too many milestones to count.”
Tessa took his hands in hers. “But we’d get through it somehow,” she assured him. “It would only be temporary, right? After you made those initial visits, then you’d be back on a similar schedule to what you have now, right?”
“Yes. Hugh travels less frequently than I do, in fact, delegates most of the visits to his assistant director and another manager. But those first few months would be extremely difficult for you, darling. And, well, I always worry that you might start feeling a little overwhelmed. Or that you, well…”
“That I start feeling depressed?” she finished. “It’s okay for you to say the word, Ian. And I get it. Even though I haven’t had any episodes since before we were married, that doesn’t mean it couldn’t happen if I was under too much pressure. We would just have to make sure that I had a solid support system in place.”
He took a sip of his tea, sighing. “It’s more than that, too. I happen to love our life out here in San Francisco - our home, our circle of friends, the beach house. And as much as I miss seeing my family more often, I’m afraid I’d miss the life we’ve made for ourselves here even more.”
She picked up a cookie and nibbled at it daintily, then reached over to wipe crumbs from Gilly’s mouth. “What would happen if you didn’t take the job? Who would be next in line?”
“Colin,” he replied readily. “And it would be a wonderful thing for him and Selina to return to Europe. Since her mother died earlier this year, she doesn’t really have any close family remaining in Hong Kong, just some cousins and friends. Her father has lived in Paris for years, while her brother relocated to Brussels two years ago. And I know Colin would be thrilled to be back with our family. It’s been lonely for him in Hong Kong these past years.”
“That’s not why you’re thinking of refusing the job yourself, is it?” Tessa asked pointedly. “Because of your brother?”
Ian hesitated. “I’ll admit it’s a factor,” he acknowledged. “But definitely not the main one. I’m just not sure I like the idea of how much time I’d need to spend away from home, darling. I’d miss you and Gilly too much, would worry about you constantly. And I don’t want to miss out on seeing my children grow up. I want to be there for every important occasion, to have dinner with them every night. And that certainly won’t be the case if I take this job.”
“Colin has a wife and two young boys,” she observed. “Why would it be any different for him?”
“His boys are a bit older than Gilly, for one,” countered Ian. “And Selina is a very independent woman, almost frighteningly so. She has her career, several friends in London, and I’m guessing her father would begin spending part of the year in England if she moved there.”
Tessa began to twirl a lock of hair around her fingers, another surefire sign that she was feeling agitated. “Whereas I’m far too dependent on you, aren’t I?” she murmured. “Too needy. And while I have a few friends, it isn’t the same as having a family of my own, is it?”
Ian captured her hand between his. “Gilly and I are your family,” he insisted. “We - the three of us, plus this new baby - we’re a family. And you are not needy, not weak. After everything you’ve been through in your life, Tessa, how can you even say that? And if you’re dependent on me, why do you think it’s any different on my end? I need you and Gilly desperately, need to be with you all the time. I love my girls more than my own life, and I’m not sure I could handle being separated from you for a week or two at a time. So this isn’t just about how you would cope with being separated, darling, but how it would affect me as well.”
She nodded, brushing away a tear that had welled up in her eye. “I get it,” she said softly. “But whatever you ultimately decide, Ian, just know that I’ll support you no matter what. We’re in this together, after all, and I’ll travel to the ends of the earth in order to be with you. How does that Bible verse go, the one the minister read at our wedding - ‘for wherever you go, I will go, wherever you live, I will live’. That’s never been more true than it is right now.”
He leaned over the table and kissed her softly on the lips. “I love you rather desperately, you know. You and Gilly and our new baby. And I’ll consider everything very carefully before making this decision. I told my father I’d let him know next week, right after Thanksgiving. So we have a little time yet to make a decision - the right decision for all of us.”
Tessa was about to reply when Gilly tugged urgently on Ian’s coat sleeve, puckering up her little pink mouth when he turned to look at her inquiringly.
“Kiss Gilly, too,” she demanded. “Daddy kiss Gilly, too.”
Tessa laughed in delight as Ian did just that, then gave her little girl a loud smooch on her rosy cheek. “I don’t blame you, Gilly,” she murmured, still laughing. “He’s a very, very good kisser, after all.”
Five days later
“Aren’t you freezing out here? And in bare feet at that.”
Tessa turned to face her husband as he walked out onto the deck, shaking her head in reply. “You know that never bothers me,” she told him. “I love the fog and wind as much as I do the sun. As long as we’re up here, that is.”
‘Up here’ meaning the beach house that had become their second home, the place that Tessa loved just as much as she did the big house back in San Francisco. Life was different here, slower, more casual and laidback. Her wardrobe here consisted of jeans, shorts, T-shirts, and sweaters, and when she bothered to wear shoes they were either flip flops or sneakers. She rarely wore makeup during their stays here, and wasn’t sure if she even kept any jewelry in the house. She loved the days and weeks they spent up here, and couldn’t bear to think about never staying here again.
“That’s just part of it,” he argued. “The other part, which is far more intrusive, would entail me having to travel to every single hotel in the region within the first few months. They’d be quick visits, probably half a day each, just to meet the manager and get a brief tour, but it would still take a few months to fit them all in. I’d be away from home three weeks a month - months when our son would be an infant and you’d be left to deal with his care by yourself. And when I’d miss out on too many milestones to count.”
Tessa took his hands in hers. “But we’d get through it somehow,” she assured him. “It would only be temporary, right? After you made those initial visits, then you’d be back on a similar schedule to what you have now, right?”
“Yes. Hugh travels less frequently than I do, in fact, delegates most of the visits to his assistant director and another manager. But those first few months would be extremely difficult for you, darling. And, well, I always worry that you might start feeling a little overwhelmed. Or that you, well…”
“That I start feeling depressed?” she finished. “It’s okay for you to say the word, Ian. And I get it. Even though I haven’t had any episodes since before we were married, that doesn’t mean it couldn’t happen if I was under too much pressure. We would just have to make sure that I had a solid support system in place.”
He took a sip of his tea, sighing. “It’s more than that, too. I happen to love our life out here in San Francisco - our home, our circle of friends, the beach house. And as much as I miss seeing my family more often, I’m afraid I’d miss the life we’ve made for ourselves here even more.”
She picked up a cookie and nibbled at it daintily, then reached over to wipe crumbs from Gilly’s mouth. “What would happen if you didn’t take the job? Who would be next in line?”
“Colin,” he replied readily. “And it would be a wonderful thing for him and Selina to return to Europe. Since her mother died earlier this year, she doesn’t really have any close family remaining in Hong Kong, just some cousins and friends. Her father has lived in Paris for years, while her brother relocated to Brussels two years ago. And I know Colin would be thrilled to be back with our family. It’s been lonely for him in Hong Kong these past years.”
“That’s not why you’re thinking of refusing the job yourself, is it?” Tessa asked pointedly. “Because of your brother?”
Ian hesitated. “I’ll admit it’s a factor,” he acknowledged. “But definitely not the main one. I’m just not sure I like the idea of how much time I’d need to spend away from home, darling. I’d miss you and Gilly too much, would worry about you constantly. And I don’t want to miss out on seeing my children grow up. I want to be there for every important occasion, to have dinner with them every night. And that certainly won’t be the case if I take this job.”
“Colin has a wife and two young boys,” she observed. “Why would it be any different for him?”
“His boys are a bit older than Gilly, for one,” countered Ian. “And Selina is a very independent woman, almost frighteningly so. She has her career, several friends in London, and I’m guessing her father would begin spending part of the year in England if she moved there.”
Tessa began to twirl a lock of hair around her fingers, another surefire sign that she was feeling agitated. “Whereas I’m far too dependent on you, aren’t I?” she murmured. “Too needy. And while I have a few friends, it isn’t the same as having a family of my own, is it?”
Ian captured her hand between his. “Gilly and I are your family,” he insisted. “We - the three of us, plus this new baby - we’re a family. And you are not needy, not weak. After everything you’ve been through in your life, Tessa, how can you even say that? And if you’re dependent on me, why do you think it’s any different on my end? I need you and Gilly desperately, need to be with you all the time. I love my girls more than my own life, and I’m not sure I could handle being separated from you for a week or two at a time. So this isn’t just about how you would cope with being separated, darling, but how it would affect me as well.”
She nodded, brushing away a tear that had welled up in her eye. “I get it,” she said softly. “But whatever you ultimately decide, Ian, just know that I’ll support you no matter what. We’re in this together, after all, and I’ll travel to the ends of the earth in order to be with you. How does that Bible verse go, the one the minister read at our wedding - ‘for wherever you go, I will go, wherever you live, I will live’. That’s never been more true than it is right now.”
He leaned over the table and kissed her softly on the lips. “I love you rather desperately, you know. You and Gilly and our new baby. And I’ll consider everything very carefully before making this decision. I told my father I’d let him know next week, right after Thanksgiving. So we have a little time yet to make a decision - the right decision for all of us.”
Tessa was about to reply when Gilly tugged urgently on Ian’s coat sleeve, puckering up her little pink mouth when he turned to look at her inquiringly.
“Kiss Gilly, too,” she demanded. “Daddy kiss Gilly, too.”
Tessa laughed in delight as Ian did just that, then gave her little girl a loud smooch on her rosy cheek. “I don’t blame you, Gilly,” she murmured, still laughing. “He’s a very, very good kisser, after all.”
Five days later
“Aren’t you freezing out here? And in bare feet at that.”
Tessa turned to face her husband as he walked out onto the deck, shaking her head in reply. “You know that never bothers me,” she told him. “I love the fog and wind as much as I do the sun. As long as we’re up here, that is.”
‘Up here’ meaning the beach house that had become their second home, the place that Tessa loved just as much as she did the big house back in San Francisco. Life was different here, slower, more casual and laidback. Her wardrobe here consisted of jeans, shorts, T-shirts, and sweaters, and when she bothered to wear shoes they were either flip flops or sneakers. She rarely wore makeup during their stays here, and wasn’t sure if she even kept any jewelry in the house. She loved the days and weeks they spent up here, and couldn’t bear to think about never staying here again.
