Clipped by Love
Page 28
“Yeah, that would be hard,” he agrees, cupping my shoulder. “I think you did right, but she may not think that way.”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m worried about,” I admit just as the door opens. Mandie comes out first, and the look she gives me lets me know that my worries are sound. When Baylor comes out, her face is red and she’s holding her bikini in her hand. It’s obvious she threw her clothes on, even her hoodie is on backward, her hair’s a mess, and she looks beyond mad.
Looking over at me, she glares. “You couldn’t tell me you didn’t want to fuck me? Had to go get my friend to kick me out of your room?”
I come off the wall, expelling the breath I was holding. Lifting my hands in a calm-down manner because she looks like she is about to come unglued, I say, “It isn’t that I don’t want to fuck you, Baylor, it’s not right, you’re drunk.”
Her eyes narrow even more as her face burns with resentment. “I think I know if I’m unable to have sex! I wouldn’t have put myself in that position if I didn’t want it!”
“I understand that, but it didn’t feel right.”
“Didn’t feel right? Could have fooled me!”
“No, I mean,” I say, but then I pause, letting out a breath. I don’t want to spill my guts in front of my brother or her friend. Jude may think he knows me and gets me, but not the way I feel Baylor got me. “It just isn’t right. Didn’t feel right. We’re drunk.”
Her hands turn to fists as she takes a step toward me, glaring, “So you’re too big of a fucking coward to tell me yourself. You have to send my friend in.”
Biting into my lip to keep it from moving, I know I can’t tell her the truth. She wouldn’t believe me anyway. She’s too mad. She’s completely ignoring the fact that I think she is more than a one-night stand. It would only make her madder, I can see that.
“I didn’t think you’d leave.”
She takes a step back, almost like I hit her, her eyes blazing into mine. “Why, because I’m so drunk? I thought maybe this was different, I thought you were different, but no, you’re just like every other fucking guy, using me for a good time. But the plot twist is that, unlike any other guy who would fuck me and throw me to the side like you were supposed to do, when it was time to perform and get it done, you bitch out on me.”
“I’m not like other guys,” I try to say, but she is shaking her head and her body. She is so drunk, she’s wobbling, and I can’t believe I let it get as far as I did. I should have walked her home; I should have never kissed her, even if I would have regretted it the rest of my life.
“No, you are, just… What, couldn’t get it up?” She’s slurring her words, and I know she doesn’t mean them.
Looking away, I shake my head. I won’t allow that to get under my skin. I could get it up, she could feel it, but it wasn’t right. She wouldn’t remember any of it, and I want more than that.
“Don’t be a bitch, Baylor. I’m trying to be a good guy here.”
“Good guy? A good guy would have done this in private. Instead, you brought my friend into it, embarrassed me, and now you can’t even look me in the eye as you reject me!” she yells, and when I lift my head, I see that more people are watching us.
Covering my face, I can’t believe this. I didn’t want her to feel like that, and when I look up into her hazel eyes, they are swimming with tears.
Fuck me.
“I’m not rejecting you, Baylor. I just want to wait till we are both sober and this is what you want.”
Someone yells out “pussy,” and she starts to laugh as she glares at me.
I shake my head, looking away, anger bubbling inside me as Jude yells, “Fuck off, asshole. Get out of here.”
Baylor throws her hands up though, pointing at me. “No, that guy’s right. You are a fucking pussy, but whatever, I didn’t want you anyway. You were just there, convenient and easy.” A few people laugh at that and oooh all together like a bunch of high schoolers. “You couldn’t satisfy me anyway,” she throws at me, and I know she doesn’t mean it.
She’s holding in the tears, she’s visibly hurt, and I do everything to ignore her words. I hurt her, I get that. In her eyes, I rejected her, and maybe I did, but I did it because I care. She obviously doesn’t want to hear that or doesn’t care, for that matter. I know that if I don’t get her out of here, she’s gonna embarrass herself more than she already has. It’s all my fault, and I know that I’ve ruined everything between us, but I never meant to hurt her. I really didn’t, but now I know that I’m about to make her hate me.
Looking up, I meet her heated gaze and I laugh, like the dick she thinks I am. Shaking my head, I say, “Don’t lie to kick it, baby girl. You were basically dry humping me in there, and I had to escape.”
Her jaw drops as she glares, her shoulders going back in a taut, angry way. “I was doing no such thing. You’ve been begging to fuck me all day.”
“No, I don’t beg for pussy—it’s given to me willingly. You are the one who was begging me,” I say back, and I see Mandie turning red with her own anger.
“Baylor, let’s go,” she says, pulling on Baylor’s arm, but she rips it away, taking a step toward me. “He’s not worth it!”
Pointing her finger in my face, she seethes, “You’re a fucking asshole, poor excuse for a man, shitty second-string hockey player who won’t go anywhere in life because you’re too strung-up on your fucked-up daddy issues.”
Wow. This escalated very quickly.
“Whoa, what the hell? He is helping you out, so you don’t re—” Before Jude can finish, I stop him, placing my hand on his chest and shaking my head.
“Baylor, that’s enough. Come on,” Mandie says, trying to get a grip on her hand, but she won’t let her.
She’s hurting so badly, and nothing I say or anyone says will make this better. I hate to do this to her, but I know it’s the only way she’ll leave. I don’t want her to hurt any more than she already does, but what else am I supposed to do? But also I can’t stand here and take this. Yeah, I brought this on myself. I could have handled it a different way, but I was trying to do right by her. I didn’t know it would end like this.
“Yeah, that’s what I’m worried about,” I admit just as the door opens. Mandie comes out first, and the look she gives me lets me know that my worries are sound. When Baylor comes out, her face is red and she’s holding her bikini in her hand. It’s obvious she threw her clothes on, even her hoodie is on backward, her hair’s a mess, and she looks beyond mad.
Looking over at me, she glares. “You couldn’t tell me you didn’t want to fuck me? Had to go get my friend to kick me out of your room?”
I come off the wall, expelling the breath I was holding. Lifting my hands in a calm-down manner because she looks like she is about to come unglued, I say, “It isn’t that I don’t want to fuck you, Baylor, it’s not right, you’re drunk.”
Her eyes narrow even more as her face burns with resentment. “I think I know if I’m unable to have sex! I wouldn’t have put myself in that position if I didn’t want it!”
“I understand that, but it didn’t feel right.”
“Didn’t feel right? Could have fooled me!”
“No, I mean,” I say, but then I pause, letting out a breath. I don’t want to spill my guts in front of my brother or her friend. Jude may think he knows me and gets me, but not the way I feel Baylor got me. “It just isn’t right. Didn’t feel right. We’re drunk.”
Her hands turn to fists as she takes a step toward me, glaring, “So you’re too big of a fucking coward to tell me yourself. You have to send my friend in.”
Biting into my lip to keep it from moving, I know I can’t tell her the truth. She wouldn’t believe me anyway. She’s too mad. She’s completely ignoring the fact that I think she is more than a one-night stand. It would only make her madder, I can see that.
“I didn’t think you’d leave.”
She takes a step back, almost like I hit her, her eyes blazing into mine. “Why, because I’m so drunk? I thought maybe this was different, I thought you were different, but no, you’re just like every other fucking guy, using me for a good time. But the plot twist is that, unlike any other guy who would fuck me and throw me to the side like you were supposed to do, when it was time to perform and get it done, you bitch out on me.”
“I’m not like other guys,” I try to say, but she is shaking her head and her body. She is so drunk, she’s wobbling, and I can’t believe I let it get as far as I did. I should have walked her home; I should have never kissed her, even if I would have regretted it the rest of my life.
“No, you are, just… What, couldn’t get it up?” She’s slurring her words, and I know she doesn’t mean them.
Looking away, I shake my head. I won’t allow that to get under my skin. I could get it up, she could feel it, but it wasn’t right. She wouldn’t remember any of it, and I want more than that.
“Don’t be a bitch, Baylor. I’m trying to be a good guy here.”
“Good guy? A good guy would have done this in private. Instead, you brought my friend into it, embarrassed me, and now you can’t even look me in the eye as you reject me!” she yells, and when I lift my head, I see that more people are watching us.
Covering my face, I can’t believe this. I didn’t want her to feel like that, and when I look up into her hazel eyes, they are swimming with tears.
Fuck me.
“I’m not rejecting you, Baylor. I just want to wait till we are both sober and this is what you want.”
Someone yells out “pussy,” and she starts to laugh as she glares at me.
I shake my head, looking away, anger bubbling inside me as Jude yells, “Fuck off, asshole. Get out of here.”
Baylor throws her hands up though, pointing at me. “No, that guy’s right. You are a fucking pussy, but whatever, I didn’t want you anyway. You were just there, convenient and easy.” A few people laugh at that and oooh all together like a bunch of high schoolers. “You couldn’t satisfy me anyway,” she throws at me, and I know she doesn’t mean it.
She’s holding in the tears, she’s visibly hurt, and I do everything to ignore her words. I hurt her, I get that. In her eyes, I rejected her, and maybe I did, but I did it because I care. She obviously doesn’t want to hear that or doesn’t care, for that matter. I know that if I don’t get her out of here, she’s gonna embarrass herself more than she already has. It’s all my fault, and I know that I’ve ruined everything between us, but I never meant to hurt her. I really didn’t, but now I know that I’m about to make her hate me.
Looking up, I meet her heated gaze and I laugh, like the dick she thinks I am. Shaking my head, I say, “Don’t lie to kick it, baby girl. You were basically dry humping me in there, and I had to escape.”
Her jaw drops as she glares, her shoulders going back in a taut, angry way. “I was doing no such thing. You’ve been begging to fuck me all day.”
“No, I don’t beg for pussy—it’s given to me willingly. You are the one who was begging me,” I say back, and I see Mandie turning red with her own anger.
“Baylor, let’s go,” she says, pulling on Baylor’s arm, but she rips it away, taking a step toward me. “He’s not worth it!”
Pointing her finger in my face, she seethes, “You’re a fucking asshole, poor excuse for a man, shitty second-string hockey player who won’t go anywhere in life because you’re too strung-up on your fucked-up daddy issues.”
Wow. This escalated very quickly.
“Whoa, what the hell? He is helping you out, so you don’t re—” Before Jude can finish, I stop him, placing my hand on his chest and shaking my head.
“Baylor, that’s enough. Come on,” Mandie says, trying to get a grip on her hand, but she won’t let her.
She’s hurting so badly, and nothing I say or anyone says will make this better. I hate to do this to her, but I know it’s the only way she’ll leave. I don’t want her to hurt any more than she already does, but what else am I supposed to do? But also I can’t stand here and take this. Yeah, I brought this on myself. I could have handled it a different way, but I was trying to do right by her. I didn’t know it would end like this.
