Clipped by Love
Page 45
“It wasn’t a line,” he says, still so fucking calm. “It was the truth.”
How is he fucking calm? Why don’t I affect him like he is affecting me? My heart, it’s a sledgehammer in my chest. My body, shaking. My skin, gooseflesh. Every hair on my body is standing at attention, and this asshole is just standing there.
Looking down at me like I’m nothing.
No, wait. A nuisance! He’s looking at me like I’m a fucking nuisance!
A fly he doesn’t want bothering him, but I’m not damn fly.
I’m a killer fucking bee that’s about to sting him in the eye!
“Why don’t you do us both a fucking favor and completely stop talking to me?”
“Not gonna happen, you’re my teammate.”
“Yeah, teammate, but you are treating me like an ex. I don’t like it.”
“How?” he asks incredulously, and finally, I’m getting some kind of emotion!
“By defending me and shit. Why do you even care?”
“Because it’s the right thing to do,” he says with a shrug and then he laughs. “You’re kinda psycho, you know.”
“Fuck you! It’s not the right thing to do; you are doing it to get in my pants.”
“Whoa!” he says with a laugh. “Get over yourself. I’m doing it to better our team.”
“So you don’t want to sleep with me?”
Wait, what? Why did I ask that?
When his lips curve in a sinful grin, it takes everything in me to brace myself from turning into a puddle of goo. Oh sweet God, I know why I asked.
Because I want to know.
“Didn’t say that. I’m just trying to better our team. You’re the one letting issues from Florida come and set the tone for our relationship.”
Basically seething, not only because he could be right but because I’m a bumbling baboon, I say, “There is no relationship! Do us both a favor and forget Florida ever happened.”
Taking a step toward me, he says very low and in a very naughty way, “I’m not the one bringing it up, and don’t you think I’ve tried?”
Sucking in a breath, I look at him like he hit me. What does that even mean? “Well, try harder. I made the biggest mistake ever talking to you.”
“That’s debatable,” he says with a shrug. “I enjoyed myself.”
“It should have never happened.”
“But it did, and you liked it when it was good,” he says, running his tongue along his lips as his eyes drift to my lips. “You liked that I challenged you, that I made you smile, hell, you may even have liked me. You liked it so much, it’s obvious it’s bothering you and you want to talk it out, which is very unlike you. You don’t like talking your feelings out, eh?”
My eye is twitching. Along with my fist. I want to hit him, but I am not going to do that. No. We will not resort to hitting. It’s not nice.
“You don’t know shit about me,” I spit and he grins.
“Oh, I do, and it’s killing you that I’m sitting here, calm as hell, while you fly off the damn handle.”
“Fuck you,” I snarl and he chuckles.
“Anytime, baby,” he says, and without thinking, I push him.
I know, I said no hitting, but pushing doesn’t count.
Right?
“Always wanting to put your hands on me,” he teases with a grin.
Now I’m gonna punch him!
But instead, I suck in a deep breath, letting it out of my nose before glaring up at him.
“No, remember I tried that, and you threw that chance away.”
He shrugs. “Wasn’t the right time.”
“Oh really? Could have fooled me when you had your tongue down my throat and your hands all over me.”
Shaking his head, he tucks his hands in his pockets in almost a boy next door way but I know he’s the devil in disguise. “It wasn’t right.”
“Oh yeah, the good-guy bullshit.”
Finally, his cool breaks. Glaring at me, he yells, “You were drunk, I was drunk!”
“Doesn’t stop anyone else.”
“Because they are dicks.”
“And so are you.”
“Really? Because I think we both know I’m not, you’re just so fucking prideful, you won’t admit I did you a favor!”
He’s kinda scary when he yells, not that I’m feeling that kind of way because I’m not.
Just for the record, of course.
“Favor? You rejected me! Made me feel this small,” I say, holding my thumb and forefinger out. “You embarrassed me. Told me my mom didn’t want me. How is that doing me a fucking favor? Please. Enlighten me.”
Looking away, he pulls in a breath through his nose and slowly nods his head. Looking back at me, his eyes hold mine, and I can see all the remorse in the world in them. This whole day I’ve been waiting to see his eyes tell me something, and finally they are talking to me. He’s sorry, but I don’t care, I won’t forgive him.
I can’t.
Clearing his throat, he says softly, “I am truly sorry for that. It was wrong of me, and I should have never said that. But you weren’t giving up, and I had no choice.”
I refuse to allow what he said come back and bother me. Shaking my head, I give a soulless laugh as I say, “Oh, because I’m such a thirsty bitch and I’m gonna beg for dick, eh?”
He shakes his head. “I never thought that. You were mad, you were drunk. Was I wrong? Fuck yeah, I should have never done it the way I did, but I didn’t trust myself to tell you no. I wanted you, Baylor. Bad. But I couldn’t do it.”
Completely perplexed, I shake my head. “How does that make sense? If you wanted me, then why didn’t you fuck me?”
I don’t even realize he’s moving until his face is in line with mine, his nose almost touching mine as his eyes bore into me. My whole body goes still, my breathing stops as his eyes search mine. It’s very hard to think when someone like Jayden Sinclair is that close to you.
“Did it ever fucking occur to you that you are worth way more than a one-night stand? Did it ever cross your mind that that’s why I did what I did? Because I respect you, and I think too highly of you than to fuck you and then leave you? Did it, Baylor?”
When I don’t answer, he shakes his head. “You think so low of yourself, you think that you’re only worth the respect in this sport, but you are worth way more than that, okay? So yeah, I’m sorry, and believe me, I regret the way it went down. But I’m glad we didn’t sleep together,” he says, and I don’t know how he gets closer, but he does and my breathing, yeah, it’s nonexistent. “Because when I do lay you down, my body smothering yours, I want you to be completely aware of what is going on and who is giving you the greatest pleasure of your life.”
How is he fucking calm? Why don’t I affect him like he is affecting me? My heart, it’s a sledgehammer in my chest. My body, shaking. My skin, gooseflesh. Every hair on my body is standing at attention, and this asshole is just standing there.
Looking down at me like I’m nothing.
No, wait. A nuisance! He’s looking at me like I’m a fucking nuisance!
A fly he doesn’t want bothering him, but I’m not damn fly.
I’m a killer fucking bee that’s about to sting him in the eye!
“Why don’t you do us both a fucking favor and completely stop talking to me?”
“Not gonna happen, you’re my teammate.”
“Yeah, teammate, but you are treating me like an ex. I don’t like it.”
“How?” he asks incredulously, and finally, I’m getting some kind of emotion!
“By defending me and shit. Why do you even care?”
“Because it’s the right thing to do,” he says with a shrug and then he laughs. “You’re kinda psycho, you know.”
“Fuck you! It’s not the right thing to do; you are doing it to get in my pants.”
“Whoa!” he says with a laugh. “Get over yourself. I’m doing it to better our team.”
“So you don’t want to sleep with me?”
Wait, what? Why did I ask that?
When his lips curve in a sinful grin, it takes everything in me to brace myself from turning into a puddle of goo. Oh sweet God, I know why I asked.
Because I want to know.
“Didn’t say that. I’m just trying to better our team. You’re the one letting issues from Florida come and set the tone for our relationship.”
Basically seething, not only because he could be right but because I’m a bumbling baboon, I say, “There is no relationship! Do us both a favor and forget Florida ever happened.”
Taking a step toward me, he says very low and in a very naughty way, “I’m not the one bringing it up, and don’t you think I’ve tried?”
Sucking in a breath, I look at him like he hit me. What does that even mean? “Well, try harder. I made the biggest mistake ever talking to you.”
“That’s debatable,” he says with a shrug. “I enjoyed myself.”
“It should have never happened.”
“But it did, and you liked it when it was good,” he says, running his tongue along his lips as his eyes drift to my lips. “You liked that I challenged you, that I made you smile, hell, you may even have liked me. You liked it so much, it’s obvious it’s bothering you and you want to talk it out, which is very unlike you. You don’t like talking your feelings out, eh?”
My eye is twitching. Along with my fist. I want to hit him, but I am not going to do that. No. We will not resort to hitting. It’s not nice.
“You don’t know shit about me,” I spit and he grins.
“Oh, I do, and it’s killing you that I’m sitting here, calm as hell, while you fly off the damn handle.”
“Fuck you,” I snarl and he chuckles.
“Anytime, baby,” he says, and without thinking, I push him.
I know, I said no hitting, but pushing doesn’t count.
Right?
“Always wanting to put your hands on me,” he teases with a grin.
Now I’m gonna punch him!
But instead, I suck in a deep breath, letting it out of my nose before glaring up at him.
“No, remember I tried that, and you threw that chance away.”
He shrugs. “Wasn’t the right time.”
“Oh really? Could have fooled me when you had your tongue down my throat and your hands all over me.”
Shaking his head, he tucks his hands in his pockets in almost a boy next door way but I know he’s the devil in disguise. “It wasn’t right.”
“Oh yeah, the good-guy bullshit.”
Finally, his cool breaks. Glaring at me, he yells, “You were drunk, I was drunk!”
“Doesn’t stop anyone else.”
“Because they are dicks.”
“And so are you.”
“Really? Because I think we both know I’m not, you’re just so fucking prideful, you won’t admit I did you a favor!”
He’s kinda scary when he yells, not that I’m feeling that kind of way because I’m not.
Just for the record, of course.
“Favor? You rejected me! Made me feel this small,” I say, holding my thumb and forefinger out. “You embarrassed me. Told me my mom didn’t want me. How is that doing me a fucking favor? Please. Enlighten me.”
Looking away, he pulls in a breath through his nose and slowly nods his head. Looking back at me, his eyes hold mine, and I can see all the remorse in the world in them. This whole day I’ve been waiting to see his eyes tell me something, and finally they are talking to me. He’s sorry, but I don’t care, I won’t forgive him.
I can’t.
Clearing his throat, he says softly, “I am truly sorry for that. It was wrong of me, and I should have never said that. But you weren’t giving up, and I had no choice.”
I refuse to allow what he said come back and bother me. Shaking my head, I give a soulless laugh as I say, “Oh, because I’m such a thirsty bitch and I’m gonna beg for dick, eh?”
He shakes his head. “I never thought that. You were mad, you were drunk. Was I wrong? Fuck yeah, I should have never done it the way I did, but I didn’t trust myself to tell you no. I wanted you, Baylor. Bad. But I couldn’t do it.”
Completely perplexed, I shake my head. “How does that make sense? If you wanted me, then why didn’t you fuck me?”
I don’t even realize he’s moving until his face is in line with mine, his nose almost touching mine as his eyes bore into me. My whole body goes still, my breathing stops as his eyes search mine. It’s very hard to think when someone like Jayden Sinclair is that close to you.
“Did it ever fucking occur to you that you are worth way more than a one-night stand? Did it ever cross your mind that that’s why I did what I did? Because I respect you, and I think too highly of you than to fuck you and then leave you? Did it, Baylor?”
When I don’t answer, he shakes his head. “You think so low of yourself, you think that you’re only worth the respect in this sport, but you are worth way more than that, okay? So yeah, I’m sorry, and believe me, I regret the way it went down. But I’m glad we didn’t sleep together,” he says, and I don’t know how he gets closer, but he does and my breathing, yeah, it’s nonexistent. “Because when I do lay you down, my body smothering yours, I want you to be completely aware of what is going on and who is giving you the greatest pleasure of your life.”
