Clipped by Love
Page 84
“Yes! What do you see?”
He shakes his head before looking away, a grin on his face. “Don’t ask things you aren’t ready for, Baylor,” he says, and before I can demand he tell me, he goes on. “Just know that you’re it. You’re the only girl I see, ever. It’s been like that since the beach. I promise you.”
Looking deep into his eyes, I can see that he isn’t going to tell me. Not until I’m ready, which who knows when the hell that will be. Watching him, I ask, “And I’ll be ready when?”
“You’re ridiculous, you know that?”
I smile. “Yeah, but from what you’re telling me, I’m your ridiculous.”
He nods before pressing his nose to mine. “True, but to answer your question, you’ll be ready when I know you won’t run from what I’m feeling.”
“Which is?”
“A fucking lot,” he answers, his eyes boring into mine. Each syllable of those words slams into my chest and scares me to the core. He holds my gaze, and I can’t breathe because I’m pretty sure “a fucking lot” is way more than I could ever fathom. And also something I have no control over. “I don’t want anyone but you. I mean, come on, Baylor, I’ve been begging you to admit you like me for months. I’ve been challenging you just to get you to keep talking to me. I think it’s safe to say, you’re the only one I’m looking at.”
Closing my eyes, I nuzzle my nose against his and whisper, “I don’t like this feeling.”
“Jealousy? Something you can’t control, eh?”
Grinning, I nod. He gets me on so many levels. “Truly.”
“But it’s a feeling that I really like because it means you actually feel for me.”
“Well, duh,” I say, opening my eyes to meet his. “If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t be with you.”
Brushing his lips against mine, he nods. “Yeah, but you could be in it for the sex. I am the only one who can make you come.”
“True,” I say lightly as he grins against my lips. Closing my eyes again, because it’s easier when I don’t look at him to admit things, I say, “But this is more than sex. I know it’s only been a few days, but you know that, right?”
His nose moves against mine as he nods. “Yeah, Bay, I know.”
“That’s why I got so mad.”
“I know.”
Holding his gaze, I say something I hardly ever say to anyone and truly mean. “I’m sorry.”
“I know,” he says softly, and for some reason my heart soars, but then fear brings it back down in a crashing heap. What the hell is going on here? How does he know me so well, so quickly? And why aren’t I trying harder to keep myself from him? Above all, why do I feel like I am completely losing control of everything? Why is it when I look in his eyes, I’m lost, and, to be honest, I don’t want to be found? I love that feeling. The completely unrestrained feeling of not having to feel anything but him, it’s beautiful. I don’t have to worry about what I’m doing, where I’m at, or how I think. He gets me and it’s mind-boggling, and I never want to feel anything again but that feeling. As his hand tangles in my hair and his mouth devours mine, I think I know the answer to all my questions.
I just don’t want to admit it.
“Just leave me behind!”
Running backward, I laugh as Baylor trudges up the hill. Watching her, I smile even though I’m a little upset that it’s gotten so cool so quickly because she traded in her short, naughty running shorts for a pair of very tight black leggings. But I guess I’m not all that upset. She’s hot as hell in anything she wears. With her hair in a braid down her shoulder, she’s sweating profusely, but her lipstick hasn’t moved an inch. She looks pitiful though, huffing and puffing, and I want to throw her over my shoulder and run her up the hill, but I know she’ll deck me one.
“Babe, it’s cool, you’re not slowing me down.”
“I am,” she huffs. “I hate running.”
I nod. “I’ve noticed. Come on, we’ll go at your pace,” I say, trotting beside her.
“Ugh, just go.”
“No, come on, let’s talk,” I suggest, but she glares.
“Don’t talk to me, I can’t breathe,” she says, shaking her head, and I hold in my laughter. For someone who is fast as hell on ice, she sure sucks at running. We’ve been doing this every morning for the last week, and she still hates it. She’s so determined though, she won’t give up, and she wakes up at the butt-crack of dawn to go with me. I’ve been doing this for the last year and I love it, but it’s obvious she’d rather take a puck to the mouth. She’s still here though, running her little heart out, and I can’t help but admire her.
“You’re doing great,” I urge her, but I don’t think she believes me. She waves me off, and I decide that I’m gonna stay quiet as we make it up the hill. When we reach the top, I check my watch and grin. “You shaved two minutes off your time. Great job.”
When I look over at her, she’s lying face first in the dirt. “Yay.”
Laughing, I drop down next to her, moving her hair out of her face. “You’re adorable, Bay.”
“I beg to differ,” she moans as she rolls over, gasping for air. “I feel like I really pushed myself, and all I got was two minutes?”
“That’s a lot,” I remind her. “You’re doing awesome.”
“I’m dying.”
Leaning over, I kiss her dirty nose and smile down at her. “I’m proud of you.”
That has her lips pulling up at the sides before she brings me down for a quick kiss. “Thanks, babe.”
Gasping in mock horror, I tease, “Holy shit, you called me babe.”
Shaking her head, she sucks in a deep breath. “All the endorphins that are rushing to my head have made me stupid,” she informs me, but I see the sneaky grin on her face. Slowly but surely, she is relaxing around me, opening up more, and it’s such a lovely thing to see. I was sure when the shit with Skylar happened, she was going to dump me, but she didn’t. She opened up to me instead, told me how she felt, and now I feel like we are getting somewhere. She still wants to keep us a secret, even though Markus almost walked in on her giving me a blow job the other day. But hey, we’ll keep up with the charade if it makes her happy. I think it’s dumb, but she needs that control. She needs to know that everyone will respect her and not bring what happens off the ice onto it, and I can respect that.
He shakes his head before looking away, a grin on his face. “Don’t ask things you aren’t ready for, Baylor,” he says, and before I can demand he tell me, he goes on. “Just know that you’re it. You’re the only girl I see, ever. It’s been like that since the beach. I promise you.”
Looking deep into his eyes, I can see that he isn’t going to tell me. Not until I’m ready, which who knows when the hell that will be. Watching him, I ask, “And I’ll be ready when?”
“You’re ridiculous, you know that?”
I smile. “Yeah, but from what you’re telling me, I’m your ridiculous.”
He nods before pressing his nose to mine. “True, but to answer your question, you’ll be ready when I know you won’t run from what I’m feeling.”
“Which is?”
“A fucking lot,” he answers, his eyes boring into mine. Each syllable of those words slams into my chest and scares me to the core. He holds my gaze, and I can’t breathe because I’m pretty sure “a fucking lot” is way more than I could ever fathom. And also something I have no control over. “I don’t want anyone but you. I mean, come on, Baylor, I’ve been begging you to admit you like me for months. I’ve been challenging you just to get you to keep talking to me. I think it’s safe to say, you’re the only one I’m looking at.”
Closing my eyes, I nuzzle my nose against his and whisper, “I don’t like this feeling.”
“Jealousy? Something you can’t control, eh?”
Grinning, I nod. He gets me on so many levels. “Truly.”
“But it’s a feeling that I really like because it means you actually feel for me.”
“Well, duh,” I say, opening my eyes to meet his. “If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t be with you.”
Brushing his lips against mine, he nods. “Yeah, but you could be in it for the sex. I am the only one who can make you come.”
“True,” I say lightly as he grins against my lips. Closing my eyes again, because it’s easier when I don’t look at him to admit things, I say, “But this is more than sex. I know it’s only been a few days, but you know that, right?”
His nose moves against mine as he nods. “Yeah, Bay, I know.”
“That’s why I got so mad.”
“I know.”
Holding his gaze, I say something I hardly ever say to anyone and truly mean. “I’m sorry.”
“I know,” he says softly, and for some reason my heart soars, but then fear brings it back down in a crashing heap. What the hell is going on here? How does he know me so well, so quickly? And why aren’t I trying harder to keep myself from him? Above all, why do I feel like I am completely losing control of everything? Why is it when I look in his eyes, I’m lost, and, to be honest, I don’t want to be found? I love that feeling. The completely unrestrained feeling of not having to feel anything but him, it’s beautiful. I don’t have to worry about what I’m doing, where I’m at, or how I think. He gets me and it’s mind-boggling, and I never want to feel anything again but that feeling. As his hand tangles in my hair and his mouth devours mine, I think I know the answer to all my questions.
I just don’t want to admit it.
“Just leave me behind!”
Running backward, I laugh as Baylor trudges up the hill. Watching her, I smile even though I’m a little upset that it’s gotten so cool so quickly because she traded in her short, naughty running shorts for a pair of very tight black leggings. But I guess I’m not all that upset. She’s hot as hell in anything she wears. With her hair in a braid down her shoulder, she’s sweating profusely, but her lipstick hasn’t moved an inch. She looks pitiful though, huffing and puffing, and I want to throw her over my shoulder and run her up the hill, but I know she’ll deck me one.
“Babe, it’s cool, you’re not slowing me down.”
“I am,” she huffs. “I hate running.”
I nod. “I’ve noticed. Come on, we’ll go at your pace,” I say, trotting beside her.
“Ugh, just go.”
“No, come on, let’s talk,” I suggest, but she glares.
“Don’t talk to me, I can’t breathe,” she says, shaking her head, and I hold in my laughter. For someone who is fast as hell on ice, she sure sucks at running. We’ve been doing this every morning for the last week, and she still hates it. She’s so determined though, she won’t give up, and she wakes up at the butt-crack of dawn to go with me. I’ve been doing this for the last year and I love it, but it’s obvious she’d rather take a puck to the mouth. She’s still here though, running her little heart out, and I can’t help but admire her.
“You’re doing great,” I urge her, but I don’t think she believes me. She waves me off, and I decide that I’m gonna stay quiet as we make it up the hill. When we reach the top, I check my watch and grin. “You shaved two minutes off your time. Great job.”
When I look over at her, she’s lying face first in the dirt. “Yay.”
Laughing, I drop down next to her, moving her hair out of her face. “You’re adorable, Bay.”
“I beg to differ,” she moans as she rolls over, gasping for air. “I feel like I really pushed myself, and all I got was two minutes?”
“That’s a lot,” I remind her. “You’re doing awesome.”
“I’m dying.”
Leaning over, I kiss her dirty nose and smile down at her. “I’m proud of you.”
That has her lips pulling up at the sides before she brings me down for a quick kiss. “Thanks, babe.”
Gasping in mock horror, I tease, “Holy shit, you called me babe.”
Shaking her head, she sucks in a deep breath. “All the endorphins that are rushing to my head have made me stupid,” she informs me, but I see the sneaky grin on her face. Slowly but surely, she is relaxing around me, opening up more, and it’s such a lovely thing to see. I was sure when the shit with Skylar happened, she was going to dump me, but she didn’t. She opened up to me instead, told me how she felt, and now I feel like we are getting somewhere. She still wants to keep us a secret, even though Markus almost walked in on her giving me a blow job the other day. But hey, we’ll keep up with the charade if it makes her happy. I think it’s dumb, but she needs that control. She needs to know that everyone will respect her and not bring what happens off the ice onto it, and I can respect that.
