Clockwork Princess
Page 29
Henry blushed a scarlet color. It was clear that no one had ever complimented his inventing before, except perhaps Charlotte. "You humble me, Mr. Bane."
"Magnus," the warlock reminded him. "Now may I see your work upon this portal you were describing? The invention that transports a living being from one spot to another?"
"Of course." Henry drew a heavy pile of notepaper from one corner of his cluttered table, and pushed it toward Magnus. The warlock took it and flicked through the pages with interest. Each page was covered with crabbed, spidery handwriting, and dozens and dozens of equations, blending mathematics and runes in a startling harmony. Magnus felt his heart beating faster as he flipped through the pages-this was genius, real genius. There was only one problem.
"I see what you are trying to do," he said. "And it is almost perfected, but-"
"Yes, almost." Henry ran his hands through his gingery hair, upsetting his goggles. "The portal can be opened, but there is no way to direct it. No way to know if you will step through it to your intended destination in this world or into another world altogether, or even into Hell. It is too risky, and therefore useless."
"You cannot do this with these runes," said Magnus. "You need runes other than the ones you are using."
Henry shook his head. "We can use only the runes from the Gray Book. Anything else is magic. Magic is not the way of the Nephilim. It is something we may not do."
Magnus looked at Henry for a long thoughtful moment. "It is something that I can do," he declared, and drew the stack of papers toward him.
Unseelie Court faeries did not like too much light. The first thing Sallows-whose name was not really that-had done upon returning to his shop had been to put up waxed paper over the window that the Nephilim boy had so heedlessly broken. His spectacles were gone too, lost in the waters of the Limehouse Cut. And no one, it seemed, was going to pay him for the very expensive papers he had ordered for Benedict Lightwood. Altogether it had been a very bad day.
He looked up peevishly as the shop bell tinkled, warning of the opening of the door, and he frowned. He thought he had locked it. "Back again, Nephilim?" he snapped. "Decided to throw me into the river not once but twice? I'll have you know I have powerful friends-"
"I don't doubt you do, trickster." The tall, hooded figure in the entryway reached around and pulled the door shut behind him. "And I am very interested in learning more about them." A cold iron blade flashed in the dimness, and the satyr's eyes widened in fear. "I have some questions to ask you," said the man in the doorway. "And I wouldn't try to run if I were you. Not if you want to keep your fingers attached to your body...."
Chapter 13 The Mind Has Mountains
O the mind, mind has mountains; cliffs of fall
Frightful, sheer, no-man-fathomed. Hold them cheap
May who ne'er hung there. Nor does long our small
Durance deal with that steep or deep. Here! creep,
Wretch, under a comfort serves in a whirlwind: all
Life death does end and each day dies with sleep.
-Gerard Manley Hopkins, "No Worse, There Is None"
Tessa could never remember later if she had screamed as she had fallen. She remembered only a long and silent fall, the river and the rocks hurtling toward her, the sky at her feet. The wind tore at her face and hair as she twisted in the air, and she felt a sharp jerk at her throat.
Her hands flew up. Her angel necklace was lifting over her head, as if an enormous hand had reached down out of the sky to remove it. A metallic blur surrounded her, a pair of great wings opening like gates, and something caught at her, arresting her fall. Her eyes widened-it was impossible, unimaginable-but her angel, her clockwork angel, had grown somehow to the size of a living human being and was hovering over her, its great mechanical wings beating against the wind. She stared up into a blank, beautiful face, the face of a statue made of metal, as expressionless as ever-but the angel had hands, as articulate as her own, and they were holding her, holding her up as the wings beat and beat and beat and she fell slowly now, gently, like a puff of dandelion fluff blown on the wind.
Maybe I am dying, Tessa thought. And, This cannot be. But as the angel held her, and they drifted together toward earth, the ground came clearer and clearer into focus. She could see the individual rocks by the side of the stream now, the currents as they ran downstream, the reflection of the sun in the water. The shadow of wings appeared against the earth and grew wider and wider until she was falling into it, falling into the shadow, and she and the angel plunged together to the ground and landed in the soft dirt and scattered rocks at the side of the stream.
Tessa gasped as she landed, more from shock than impact, and reached up, as if she could cushion the angel's fall with her body-but it was shrinking already, growing smaller and smaller, its wings folding in on themselves, until it struck the ground by her side, the size of a toy once more. She reached out a shaking hand and seized it. She was lying on uneven rocks, half-in, half-out of the chilly water; it was already soaking through her skirts. She seized the pendant and crawled up the side of the stream with the remainder of her strength, and collapsed at last on dry ground with the angel pressed against her chest, ticking its familiar beat against her heart.
Sophie sat in the armchair by the side of Jem's bed that had always been Will's place, and watched Jem sleep.
There had been a time, she thought, when she would have been almost grateful for this opportunity, a chance to be so close to him, to place cold cloths against his forehead when he stirred and murmured and burned with fever. And though she no longer loved him as she once had-the way, she realized now, one loved someone one did not know at all, with admiration and distance-it still wrung her heart to see him like this.
One of the girls in the town where Sophie had grown up had died of consumption, and Sophie recalled how they had all talked of the way the disease had made her more beautiful before it killed her-made her pale and slender, and flushed her face with a hectic rosy glow. Jem had that fever in his cheeks now as he tossed against his pillows; his silvery-white hair was like frost, and his restless fingers twitched against the blanket. Every once in a while he spoke, but the words were in Mandarin, and she did not know them. He called out for Tessa. Wo ai ni, Tessa. Bu lu run, he qing kuang fa sheng, wo men dou hui zai yi qi. And he called out for Will as well, sheng si zhi jiao, in a way that made Sophie want to take his hand and hold it, though when she did reach to touch him, he was burning up with fever and snatched his hand away with a cry.
Sophie shrank back against the chair, wondering if she should call for Charlotte. Charlotte would want to know if Jem's condition worsened. She was about to rise to her feet, when Jem suddenly gasped and his eyes flew open. She sank back into the chair, staring. His irises were such a pale silver that they were nearly white. "Will?" he said. "Will, is that you?"
"No," she said, almost afraid to move. "It is Sophie."
He exhaled softly and turned his head toward her on the pillow. She saw him focus on her face with an effort-and then, incredibly, he smiled, that smile of great sweetness that had first won her heart. "Of course," he said. "Sophie. Will is not- I sent Will away."
"He has gone after Tessa," Sophie said.
"Good." Jem's long hands plucked at the blanket, contracted once into fists-and then relaxed. "I-am glad."
"You miss him," Sophie said.
Jem nodded slowly. "I can feel it-his distance, like a cord inside me pulled very, very tightly. I did not expect that. We have not been apart since we became parabatai."
"Cecily said you sent him away."
"Yes," said Jem. "He was difficult to persuade. I think if he were not in love with Tessa himself, I would not have been able to make him go."
Sophie's mouth fell open. "You knew?"
"Not for long," Jem said. "No, I would not be that cruel. If I had known, I would never have proposed. I would have stood back. I did not know. And yet, now, as everything is going away from me, all things appear in such a clear light that I think I would have come to know it, even if he had not told me. At the end of things, I would have known." He smiled a little at Sophie's stricken expression. "I am glad I did not have to wait until the end."
"You're not angry?"
"I am glad," he said. "They will be able to take care of each other when I am gone, or at least I can hope for it. He says she does not love him, but-surely she will come to love him in time. Will is easy to love, and he has given her his whole heart. I can see it. I hope she will not break it."
Sophie could not think of a word to say. She did not know what anyone could say in the face of love like this-so much forbearance, so much endurance, so much hope. There had been many times in these past months when she'd regretted that she had ever had a bad thought about Will Herondale, when she saw how he had stood back and allowed Tessa and Jem to be happy together, and she knew the agony that had come to Tessa along with the happiness, in the knowledge that she was hurting Will. Sophie alone, she thought, knew that Tessa called out for Will sometimes when she slept; she alone knew that the scar on Tessa's palm was not from an accidental encounter with a fireplace poker but a deliberate wound, inflicted on herself that she might, somehow, physically match the emotional pain she'd felt in denying Will. Sophie had held Tessa while she'd wept and torn the flowers out of her hair that were the color of Will's eyes, and Sophie had covered up with powder the evidence of tears and sleepless nights.
Should she tell him? Sophie wondered. Would it really be a kindness to say, Yes, Tessa loves him too; she has tried not to, but she does? Could any man honestly want to hear that about the girl he was going to marry? "Miss Gray has great regard for Mr. Herondale, and she would not break any heart lightly, I think," Sophie said. "But I wish you would not speak as if your death were inevitable, Mr. Carstairs. Even now Mrs. Branwell and the others are hopeful of finding a cure. I think you will live to old age with Miss Gray, and the both of you very happy."
He smiled as if he knew something she did not. "That is kind of you to say, Sophie. I know I am a Shadowhunter, and we do not pass easily from this life. We fight to the last. We come from the realm of angels, and yet we fear it. I think, though, that one can face the end and not be afraid without having bowed under to death. Death shall never rule me."
Sophie looked at him, a little worried; he sounded part delirious to her. "Mr. Carstairs? Shall I fetch Charlotte?"
"In a moment, but, Sophie-in your expression, just there, when I spoke-" He leaned forward. "Is it true, then?"
"Is what true?" she asked him in a small voice, but she knew what the question would be, and she could not lie to Jem.
Will was in a foul mood. The day had dawned foggy, wet, and dreadful. He had woken feeling sick to his stomach, and had only barely been able to choke down the rubbery eggs and cold bacon the landlord's wife had served him in the stuffy parlor; every part of his body had hummed to get back to the road and continue on his journey.
Bouts of rain had left him shivering in his clothes despite a liberal use of warming runes, and Balios disliked the mud that sucked at his hooves as they tried to make speed along the road, Will grumpily contemplating how it was possible that fog might actually condense upon the inside of one's clothes. He had at least made it to Northamptonshire, which was something, but he had covered barely twenty miles and flatly refused to stop, though Balios looked at him entreatingly as they passed through Towcester, as if begging for a warm room in a stable and some oats, and Will was almost inclined to give it to him. A sense of hopelessness had invaded his bones, as chill and inescapable as the rain. What did he think he was doing? Did he really think he would find Tessa this way? Was he a fool?
They were passing through disagreeable country now too, where the mud made the rocky pathway treacherous. A great cliff wall rose on one side of the road, blocking out the sky. On the other side of the path, the road fell away dramatically into a ravine full of sharp rocks. The distant water of a muddy stream glinted faintly at the ravine's bottom. Will kept Balios's head well pulled in, far from the drop-off, but the horse still seemed skittish and shy of the fall. Will's own head was down, tucked into his collar to avoid the cold rain; it was only by chance that, glancing for a moment to the side, he caught a glimpse of bright green and gold amid the rocks at the edge of the road.
He had pulled up Balios in an instant and was down and off the horse so quickly that he almost slipped in the mud. The rain was coming down more heavily now as he approached and knelt to examine the golden chain that had become caught around the sharp outcrop of a rock. He picked it up carefully. It was a jade pendant, circular, with characters stamped upon the back. He knew well enough what they meant.
When two people are as one in their inmost hearts, they shatter even the strength of iron or bronze.
Jem's bridal gift to Tessa. Will's hand tightened about it as he stood. He remembered facing her in the stairwell-the chain of the jade pendant at her throat winking at him like a cruel reminder of Jem as she'd said, They say you cannot divide your heart, and yet-
"Tessa!" he cried out suddenly, his voice echoing off the rocks. "Tessa!"
He stood for a moment, shuddering, at the side of the road. He did not know what he had expected-an answer? It was hardly as if she could be here, hiding among the sparse rocks. There was only silence and the sound of the wind and rain. Still, he knew without a shadow of a doubt that this was Tessa's necklace. Perhaps she had torn it from her throat and dropped it out the carriage window to mark the path for him, like Hansel and Gretel's trail of bread crumbs. It was what a storybook heroine would do, and therefore what his Tessa would do. Maybe there would be other markers too, if he kept on his way. For the first time hope flowed back into his veins.
With new resolve he strode toward Balios and swung himself up into the saddle. There would be no slowing down; they would make Staffordshire by evening. As he turned the horse's head back toward the road, he slipped the pendant into his pocket, where its engraved words of love and commitment seemed to burn like a brand.
Charlotte had never felt so tired. The coming child had exhausted her more than she had thought it would at first, and she had been awake all night and racing about all day. There were stains on her dress from Henry's crypt, and her ankles ached from going up and down the stairs and the ladders in the library. Nevertheless, when she opened the door of Jem's bedroom and saw him not only awake but sitting up and talking to Sophie, she forgot her tiredness and felt her face break into a helpless smile of relief. "James!" she exclaimed. "I had wondered-that is, I am glad you are awake."
"Magnus," the warlock reminded him. "Now may I see your work upon this portal you were describing? The invention that transports a living being from one spot to another?"
"Of course." Henry drew a heavy pile of notepaper from one corner of his cluttered table, and pushed it toward Magnus. The warlock took it and flicked through the pages with interest. Each page was covered with crabbed, spidery handwriting, and dozens and dozens of equations, blending mathematics and runes in a startling harmony. Magnus felt his heart beating faster as he flipped through the pages-this was genius, real genius. There was only one problem.
"I see what you are trying to do," he said. "And it is almost perfected, but-"
"Yes, almost." Henry ran his hands through his gingery hair, upsetting his goggles. "The portal can be opened, but there is no way to direct it. No way to know if you will step through it to your intended destination in this world or into another world altogether, or even into Hell. It is too risky, and therefore useless."
"You cannot do this with these runes," said Magnus. "You need runes other than the ones you are using."
Henry shook his head. "We can use only the runes from the Gray Book. Anything else is magic. Magic is not the way of the Nephilim. It is something we may not do."
Magnus looked at Henry for a long thoughtful moment. "It is something that I can do," he declared, and drew the stack of papers toward him.
Unseelie Court faeries did not like too much light. The first thing Sallows-whose name was not really that-had done upon returning to his shop had been to put up waxed paper over the window that the Nephilim boy had so heedlessly broken. His spectacles were gone too, lost in the waters of the Limehouse Cut. And no one, it seemed, was going to pay him for the very expensive papers he had ordered for Benedict Lightwood. Altogether it had been a very bad day.
He looked up peevishly as the shop bell tinkled, warning of the opening of the door, and he frowned. He thought he had locked it. "Back again, Nephilim?" he snapped. "Decided to throw me into the river not once but twice? I'll have you know I have powerful friends-"
"I don't doubt you do, trickster." The tall, hooded figure in the entryway reached around and pulled the door shut behind him. "And I am very interested in learning more about them." A cold iron blade flashed in the dimness, and the satyr's eyes widened in fear. "I have some questions to ask you," said the man in the doorway. "And I wouldn't try to run if I were you. Not if you want to keep your fingers attached to your body...."
Chapter 13 The Mind Has Mountains
O the mind, mind has mountains; cliffs of fall
Frightful, sheer, no-man-fathomed. Hold them cheap
May who ne'er hung there. Nor does long our small
Durance deal with that steep or deep. Here! creep,
Wretch, under a comfort serves in a whirlwind: all
Life death does end and each day dies with sleep.
-Gerard Manley Hopkins, "No Worse, There Is None"
Tessa could never remember later if she had screamed as she had fallen. She remembered only a long and silent fall, the river and the rocks hurtling toward her, the sky at her feet. The wind tore at her face and hair as she twisted in the air, and she felt a sharp jerk at her throat.
Her hands flew up. Her angel necklace was lifting over her head, as if an enormous hand had reached down out of the sky to remove it. A metallic blur surrounded her, a pair of great wings opening like gates, and something caught at her, arresting her fall. Her eyes widened-it was impossible, unimaginable-but her angel, her clockwork angel, had grown somehow to the size of a living human being and was hovering over her, its great mechanical wings beating against the wind. She stared up into a blank, beautiful face, the face of a statue made of metal, as expressionless as ever-but the angel had hands, as articulate as her own, and they were holding her, holding her up as the wings beat and beat and beat and she fell slowly now, gently, like a puff of dandelion fluff blown on the wind.
Maybe I am dying, Tessa thought. And, This cannot be. But as the angel held her, and they drifted together toward earth, the ground came clearer and clearer into focus. She could see the individual rocks by the side of the stream now, the currents as they ran downstream, the reflection of the sun in the water. The shadow of wings appeared against the earth and grew wider and wider until she was falling into it, falling into the shadow, and she and the angel plunged together to the ground and landed in the soft dirt and scattered rocks at the side of the stream.
Tessa gasped as she landed, more from shock than impact, and reached up, as if she could cushion the angel's fall with her body-but it was shrinking already, growing smaller and smaller, its wings folding in on themselves, until it struck the ground by her side, the size of a toy once more. She reached out a shaking hand and seized it. She was lying on uneven rocks, half-in, half-out of the chilly water; it was already soaking through her skirts. She seized the pendant and crawled up the side of the stream with the remainder of her strength, and collapsed at last on dry ground with the angel pressed against her chest, ticking its familiar beat against her heart.
Sophie sat in the armchair by the side of Jem's bed that had always been Will's place, and watched Jem sleep.
There had been a time, she thought, when she would have been almost grateful for this opportunity, a chance to be so close to him, to place cold cloths against his forehead when he stirred and murmured and burned with fever. And though she no longer loved him as she once had-the way, she realized now, one loved someone one did not know at all, with admiration and distance-it still wrung her heart to see him like this.
One of the girls in the town where Sophie had grown up had died of consumption, and Sophie recalled how they had all talked of the way the disease had made her more beautiful before it killed her-made her pale and slender, and flushed her face with a hectic rosy glow. Jem had that fever in his cheeks now as he tossed against his pillows; his silvery-white hair was like frost, and his restless fingers twitched against the blanket. Every once in a while he spoke, but the words were in Mandarin, and she did not know them. He called out for Tessa. Wo ai ni, Tessa. Bu lu run, he qing kuang fa sheng, wo men dou hui zai yi qi. And he called out for Will as well, sheng si zhi jiao, in a way that made Sophie want to take his hand and hold it, though when she did reach to touch him, he was burning up with fever and snatched his hand away with a cry.
Sophie shrank back against the chair, wondering if she should call for Charlotte. Charlotte would want to know if Jem's condition worsened. She was about to rise to her feet, when Jem suddenly gasped and his eyes flew open. She sank back into the chair, staring. His irises were such a pale silver that they were nearly white. "Will?" he said. "Will, is that you?"
"No," she said, almost afraid to move. "It is Sophie."
He exhaled softly and turned his head toward her on the pillow. She saw him focus on her face with an effort-and then, incredibly, he smiled, that smile of great sweetness that had first won her heart. "Of course," he said. "Sophie. Will is not- I sent Will away."
"He has gone after Tessa," Sophie said.
"Good." Jem's long hands plucked at the blanket, contracted once into fists-and then relaxed. "I-am glad."
"You miss him," Sophie said.
Jem nodded slowly. "I can feel it-his distance, like a cord inside me pulled very, very tightly. I did not expect that. We have not been apart since we became parabatai."
"Cecily said you sent him away."
"Yes," said Jem. "He was difficult to persuade. I think if he were not in love with Tessa himself, I would not have been able to make him go."
Sophie's mouth fell open. "You knew?"
"Not for long," Jem said. "No, I would not be that cruel. If I had known, I would never have proposed. I would have stood back. I did not know. And yet, now, as everything is going away from me, all things appear in such a clear light that I think I would have come to know it, even if he had not told me. At the end of things, I would have known." He smiled a little at Sophie's stricken expression. "I am glad I did not have to wait until the end."
"You're not angry?"
"I am glad," he said. "They will be able to take care of each other when I am gone, or at least I can hope for it. He says she does not love him, but-surely she will come to love him in time. Will is easy to love, and he has given her his whole heart. I can see it. I hope she will not break it."
Sophie could not think of a word to say. She did not know what anyone could say in the face of love like this-so much forbearance, so much endurance, so much hope. There had been many times in these past months when she'd regretted that she had ever had a bad thought about Will Herondale, when she saw how he had stood back and allowed Tessa and Jem to be happy together, and she knew the agony that had come to Tessa along with the happiness, in the knowledge that she was hurting Will. Sophie alone, she thought, knew that Tessa called out for Will sometimes when she slept; she alone knew that the scar on Tessa's palm was not from an accidental encounter with a fireplace poker but a deliberate wound, inflicted on herself that she might, somehow, physically match the emotional pain she'd felt in denying Will. Sophie had held Tessa while she'd wept and torn the flowers out of her hair that were the color of Will's eyes, and Sophie had covered up with powder the evidence of tears and sleepless nights.
Should she tell him? Sophie wondered. Would it really be a kindness to say, Yes, Tessa loves him too; she has tried not to, but she does? Could any man honestly want to hear that about the girl he was going to marry? "Miss Gray has great regard for Mr. Herondale, and she would not break any heart lightly, I think," Sophie said. "But I wish you would not speak as if your death were inevitable, Mr. Carstairs. Even now Mrs. Branwell and the others are hopeful of finding a cure. I think you will live to old age with Miss Gray, and the both of you very happy."
He smiled as if he knew something she did not. "That is kind of you to say, Sophie. I know I am a Shadowhunter, and we do not pass easily from this life. We fight to the last. We come from the realm of angels, and yet we fear it. I think, though, that one can face the end and not be afraid without having bowed under to death. Death shall never rule me."
Sophie looked at him, a little worried; he sounded part delirious to her. "Mr. Carstairs? Shall I fetch Charlotte?"
"In a moment, but, Sophie-in your expression, just there, when I spoke-" He leaned forward. "Is it true, then?"
"Is what true?" she asked him in a small voice, but she knew what the question would be, and she could not lie to Jem.
Will was in a foul mood. The day had dawned foggy, wet, and dreadful. He had woken feeling sick to his stomach, and had only barely been able to choke down the rubbery eggs and cold bacon the landlord's wife had served him in the stuffy parlor; every part of his body had hummed to get back to the road and continue on his journey.
Bouts of rain had left him shivering in his clothes despite a liberal use of warming runes, and Balios disliked the mud that sucked at his hooves as they tried to make speed along the road, Will grumpily contemplating how it was possible that fog might actually condense upon the inside of one's clothes. He had at least made it to Northamptonshire, which was something, but he had covered barely twenty miles and flatly refused to stop, though Balios looked at him entreatingly as they passed through Towcester, as if begging for a warm room in a stable and some oats, and Will was almost inclined to give it to him. A sense of hopelessness had invaded his bones, as chill and inescapable as the rain. What did he think he was doing? Did he really think he would find Tessa this way? Was he a fool?
They were passing through disagreeable country now too, where the mud made the rocky pathway treacherous. A great cliff wall rose on one side of the road, blocking out the sky. On the other side of the path, the road fell away dramatically into a ravine full of sharp rocks. The distant water of a muddy stream glinted faintly at the ravine's bottom. Will kept Balios's head well pulled in, far from the drop-off, but the horse still seemed skittish and shy of the fall. Will's own head was down, tucked into his collar to avoid the cold rain; it was only by chance that, glancing for a moment to the side, he caught a glimpse of bright green and gold amid the rocks at the edge of the road.
He had pulled up Balios in an instant and was down and off the horse so quickly that he almost slipped in the mud. The rain was coming down more heavily now as he approached and knelt to examine the golden chain that had become caught around the sharp outcrop of a rock. He picked it up carefully. It was a jade pendant, circular, with characters stamped upon the back. He knew well enough what they meant.
When two people are as one in their inmost hearts, they shatter even the strength of iron or bronze.
Jem's bridal gift to Tessa. Will's hand tightened about it as he stood. He remembered facing her in the stairwell-the chain of the jade pendant at her throat winking at him like a cruel reminder of Jem as she'd said, They say you cannot divide your heart, and yet-
"Tessa!" he cried out suddenly, his voice echoing off the rocks. "Tessa!"
He stood for a moment, shuddering, at the side of the road. He did not know what he had expected-an answer? It was hardly as if she could be here, hiding among the sparse rocks. There was only silence and the sound of the wind and rain. Still, he knew without a shadow of a doubt that this was Tessa's necklace. Perhaps she had torn it from her throat and dropped it out the carriage window to mark the path for him, like Hansel and Gretel's trail of bread crumbs. It was what a storybook heroine would do, and therefore what his Tessa would do. Maybe there would be other markers too, if he kept on his way. For the first time hope flowed back into his veins.
With new resolve he strode toward Balios and swung himself up into the saddle. There would be no slowing down; they would make Staffordshire by evening. As he turned the horse's head back toward the road, he slipped the pendant into his pocket, where its engraved words of love and commitment seemed to burn like a brand.
Charlotte had never felt so tired. The coming child had exhausted her more than she had thought it would at first, and she had been awake all night and racing about all day. There were stains on her dress from Henry's crypt, and her ankles ached from going up and down the stairs and the ladders in the library. Nevertheless, when she opened the door of Jem's bedroom and saw him not only awake but sitting up and talking to Sophie, she forgot her tiredness and felt her face break into a helpless smile of relief. "James!" she exclaimed. "I had wondered-that is, I am glad you are awake."
