Closer to the Edge
Page 42
Martha held the front door open for me and I quietly thanked her as I moved through the doorway, managing not to bump into anything on the damn crutches. My armpits were sore from having those fucking things shoved into them and my skin was starting to chafe all around the brace that went from my thigh to my calf. My doctor offered to call in another prescription for painkillers, but I refused him. They not only numbed the pain, they numbed my fucking mind and I couldn’t handle it. The only time it was really a problem was at night when I was trying to sleep. All the movement from the day would hit me all at once and it felt like someone was slicing into my knee with a rusty knife.
I heard a commotion down the hall and it sounded like it was coming from my father’s office. I turned around to ask Martha what was going on, but she was nowhere to be found. As I hobbled across the marble floor, the closer I got to the office, the louder the voice became.
“…did this to us! … inside out… don’t even care!”
I paused, trying to figure out who was yelling and what the hell they were talking about. The door to the office was closed and everything was muffled. Leave it to my father to find the most expensive, thickest door he could buy for his damn office. It made it impossible to properly spy on people.
“…hate you! … pay for this!”
I heard the unmistakable sound of a palm connecting with a cheek and then all was silent. A few seconds later, the door flew open and my father was the first one out. He noticed me standing there leaning on my crutches, but didn’t say a word. This was the first time we’d seen each other since I’d been back from the Dominican and I thought maybe a “Welcome home, son” was the least he could do. The scowl on his face never disappeared as he walked right past me without a sound. Stupid me for thinking he might have changed his tune about my life choices. Guess he didn’t care that I almost died. He should at least be happy about the fact that I’m now unemployed and will never be able to go on another mission. It’s the perfect opportunity for him to start pressuring me again about following in his fucking footsteps.
My mother rushed out of the room next, her face flushed and I wondered for a moment if the smack I heard was my father hitting her. I had the urge to chuck my crutches away and run after him to beat his ass, but I wouldn’t get very far on this fucking knee.
“Cole! What a surprise! Is everything satisfactory over at the guesthouse?” she asked cheerfully.
I ignored her question. “What the hell is going on? Is everything okay?
She smoothed a hand over her hair and smiled. “Oh, it’s nothing. Just some silly issues at the hospital. Are you going to join us for dinner tonight? Martha is making a filet with red skin potatoes. I’ll have her set a place for you.”
She walked up to me quickly and kissed my cheek before rushing off down the hall.
Instead of going after her, I made my way into the office and found Caroline sitting on the floor in front of our father’s desk, her legs pulled up to her chest and her head resting on her knees.
“Hey, are you okay?” I asked softly.
Her head jerked up and her face lit with a smile, despite the tears on her cheeks.
“Nothing a good trip to the mall won’t cure.”
She pushed herself up from the floor and walked over to me. She cocked her head to the side and smiled sadly at me. “You still love me, right Cole?”
Caroline had always been a little on the needy side. She craved attention and she was always questioning everyone’s love for her. I had no idea what it was like to be adopted, to know that your real parents didn’t want you and gave you away for someone else to raise. My parents were always honest with her about her birth, never wanting her to think they were lying to her or holding something back. They thought it would make her feel more secure knowing that THEY wanted her. That out of all of the children in the world, they picked her and that after all of the miscarriages my mother went through after she had me, they were so happy and excited to be able to bring another child into their lives. I think all of that knowledge had the opposite effect on Caroline. Her feelings were easily hurt and she did everything she could to get my parent’s attention. Whatever is going on with my family right now, I know it’s got to be twice as hard on her.
As much as I want to spend every waking moment with Olivia, I know I need to make time for Caroline, as well. She’s my sister. She’s the one person in my family who has always stood by me and she deserves to have one family member who isn’t a fucked up mess. She never told me what happened in my father’s office that day, only hinting about problems between our parents and how annoying all of their drama was. I never pressed her for more. I knew she’d tell me when she was ready, but I think it’s time for me to push the issue. I need to know what the hell is going on between my parents and if it has anything to do with what happened to Olivia. I didn’t like the look of rage on my father’s face that day or the fact that both my mother and Olivia seem to be concealing something that I’m sure involves him.
Now that things are squared away with Garrett, I feel like my life is finally making sense again. I WILL move forward. I WILL forget about what happened because I know it’s what Olivia needs.
But I will get to the bottom of things first, because it’s what I need.
“NO, NO, NO! This can’t be happening!”
Everyone in the room flinches as a glass goes hurdling across the room and crashes into the wall.
I heard a commotion down the hall and it sounded like it was coming from my father’s office. I turned around to ask Martha what was going on, but she was nowhere to be found. As I hobbled across the marble floor, the closer I got to the office, the louder the voice became.
“…did this to us! … inside out… don’t even care!”
I paused, trying to figure out who was yelling and what the hell they were talking about. The door to the office was closed and everything was muffled. Leave it to my father to find the most expensive, thickest door he could buy for his damn office. It made it impossible to properly spy on people.
“…hate you! … pay for this!”
I heard the unmistakable sound of a palm connecting with a cheek and then all was silent. A few seconds later, the door flew open and my father was the first one out. He noticed me standing there leaning on my crutches, but didn’t say a word. This was the first time we’d seen each other since I’d been back from the Dominican and I thought maybe a “Welcome home, son” was the least he could do. The scowl on his face never disappeared as he walked right past me without a sound. Stupid me for thinking he might have changed his tune about my life choices. Guess he didn’t care that I almost died. He should at least be happy about the fact that I’m now unemployed and will never be able to go on another mission. It’s the perfect opportunity for him to start pressuring me again about following in his fucking footsteps.
My mother rushed out of the room next, her face flushed and I wondered for a moment if the smack I heard was my father hitting her. I had the urge to chuck my crutches away and run after him to beat his ass, but I wouldn’t get very far on this fucking knee.
“Cole! What a surprise! Is everything satisfactory over at the guesthouse?” she asked cheerfully.
I ignored her question. “What the hell is going on? Is everything okay?
She smoothed a hand over her hair and smiled. “Oh, it’s nothing. Just some silly issues at the hospital. Are you going to join us for dinner tonight? Martha is making a filet with red skin potatoes. I’ll have her set a place for you.”
She walked up to me quickly and kissed my cheek before rushing off down the hall.
Instead of going after her, I made my way into the office and found Caroline sitting on the floor in front of our father’s desk, her legs pulled up to her chest and her head resting on her knees.
“Hey, are you okay?” I asked softly.
Her head jerked up and her face lit with a smile, despite the tears on her cheeks.
“Nothing a good trip to the mall won’t cure.”
She pushed herself up from the floor and walked over to me. She cocked her head to the side and smiled sadly at me. “You still love me, right Cole?”
Caroline had always been a little on the needy side. She craved attention and she was always questioning everyone’s love for her. I had no idea what it was like to be adopted, to know that your real parents didn’t want you and gave you away for someone else to raise. My parents were always honest with her about her birth, never wanting her to think they were lying to her or holding something back. They thought it would make her feel more secure knowing that THEY wanted her. That out of all of the children in the world, they picked her and that after all of the miscarriages my mother went through after she had me, they were so happy and excited to be able to bring another child into their lives. I think all of that knowledge had the opposite effect on Caroline. Her feelings were easily hurt and she did everything she could to get my parent’s attention. Whatever is going on with my family right now, I know it’s got to be twice as hard on her.
As much as I want to spend every waking moment with Olivia, I know I need to make time for Caroline, as well. She’s my sister. She’s the one person in my family who has always stood by me and she deserves to have one family member who isn’t a fucked up mess. She never told me what happened in my father’s office that day, only hinting about problems between our parents and how annoying all of their drama was. I never pressed her for more. I knew she’d tell me when she was ready, but I think it’s time for me to push the issue. I need to know what the hell is going on between my parents and if it has anything to do with what happened to Olivia. I didn’t like the look of rage on my father’s face that day or the fact that both my mother and Olivia seem to be concealing something that I’m sure involves him.
Now that things are squared away with Garrett, I feel like my life is finally making sense again. I WILL move forward. I WILL forget about what happened because I know it’s what Olivia needs.
But I will get to the bottom of things first, because it’s what I need.
“NO, NO, NO! This can’t be happening!”
Everyone in the room flinches as a glass goes hurdling across the room and crashes into the wall.
