Closer to the Edge
Page 44
I circle my fingers around and around, my hips jerking as I push myself closer to release. Everything feels better with Cole, even my own hand. He’s so strong, and solid and warm. I’ve been cold and empty for too long. He makes everything better and I know that no matter what obstacles still lay in front of us, this part of our relationship will always line up perfectly. From the very first time we had sex, I knew there would never be another man I’d want or crave as much as Cole. He knows exactly what to say, exactly where to touch and exactly how to move to bring me more pleasure than I’d ever known.
My fingers move faster and our bodies collide harder as we both race to the finish. My orgasm starts in my toes and quickly moves its way up my body until it explodes out of me with a shout.
Cole bites down gently on the skin of my shoulder as I come against my fingers while he thrusts harder and faster inside of me. I want to bottle up this feeling of euphoria and never let it go. The smell of his skin, his breath on my neck, his fingers digging into my hips as he drives into me… it’s like a drug addiction I never want to curb. He chants my name over and over as he finds his release and thrusts into me one last time, holding himself still as he comes. I feel his cock pulsing inside of me and there’s a twinge of sadness in my heart that these amazingly passionate moments between us will never again result in a baby. I hate that I can’t give him this one thing, but I know without a doubt that he was telling the truth when he told me it didn’t matter. As much as it hurts, I know he’s right. Nothing matters but here and now, and I’m not going to ruin it with regrets or sadness.
We fall back to sleep, wrapped in each other’s arms and it isn’t until we hear someone calling Cole’s name that we jerk awake. For the last few weeks, I’ve been doing Cole’s therapy in the gym at the housing complex and it’s been easier for him to just spend the night in our home.
Even though I painted over our yellow door and removed every trace of him from that house, it was always ours and there’s no point in calling it just mine anymore. It was never a home without him in it, anyway.
Last night, he convinced me to give him a break on physical therapy by pulling out the big guns, a collector’s edition of Dirty Dancing. He told me that I had to come to his place if I wanted to watch it. When I got there, he had candles lit on the table next to a bouquet of my favorite pink roses and the smell of tomato and garlic filled the house. He knew his homemade lasagna was my weakness and stuffing me full of noodles and cheese would make me more agreeable to spending a few hours that close to his parent’s home, but I never meant to fall asleep here. Being this close to them, even if they are out of town, makes me feel uneasy, but I couldn’t say no to him. I’m not ready to face anyone in his family just yet, but it looks like I don’t have a choice.
“Whose car is out front? I tried calling your cell phone but—”
The bedroom door is pushed open and I burrow down deeper under the covers and try to hide my embarrassment at being caught in his bed.
Caroline stands in the doorway, a look of shock passing over her face before quickly being replaced with excitement.
“Olivia! Oh, my God!”
Pulling my hand out from under the covers, I give her a little wave and a smile. “Hi, Caroline.”
“Ever hear of knocking, sis?” Cole asks with a laugh, scooting up in bed to lean against the headboard.
“Ever hear of calling your favorite sister and telling her, oh, I don’t know, that maybe something BIG is going on in your life?” she fires back, crossing her arms over her chest and tapping her foot.
“First of all, you’re my only sister and second, I did call. Do you ever check your messages?”
Caroline waves her hand at him and rolls her eyes. “Voicemails are thirty seconds of my life I’ll never get back. I had shoe sales to attend to.”
I smile at their back and forth banter and try not to be mortified that I’m still naked under the covers with Cole’s sister standing a few feet away. Surprisingly, I don’t feel any anger at seeing her again. The last time I saw her was one of the worst days of my life, but it was wrong of me to lash out at her.
“It’s good to see you again, Caroline,” I tell her honestly.
She stares at me for a few moments and I swear I see a flash of anger wash over her face. It’s gone before I can blink, though, and I know I must have imagined it. Caroline was sweet to me even when I was at my worst, screaming at her in a hospital room. I hope to God she isn’t angry about the way I behaved. I know none of it was her fault, but she was the only Vargas there at the time and I needed someone to blame. I don’t want there to be any animosity between us. There’s going to be enough of that between Vivien and I to go around.
“You and I, we’re going to have lunch and talk ASAP,” Caroline tells me with a bright smile.
“That would require her putting on clothes and I’m not really okay with that,” Cole teases, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me against his side.
Caroline’s face takes on a look of disgust and I jab my elbow into Cole’s ribs. “Will you cut it out? You’re going to make your sister puke.”
“Seriously, Cole. It’s bad enough I have to stand here and look at you two like… that,” she complains, waving her hands in our direction.
Cole kisses the top of my head and laughs at her.
“You two make me sick,” she mutters.
My fingers move faster and our bodies collide harder as we both race to the finish. My orgasm starts in my toes and quickly moves its way up my body until it explodes out of me with a shout.
Cole bites down gently on the skin of my shoulder as I come against my fingers while he thrusts harder and faster inside of me. I want to bottle up this feeling of euphoria and never let it go. The smell of his skin, his breath on my neck, his fingers digging into my hips as he drives into me… it’s like a drug addiction I never want to curb. He chants my name over and over as he finds his release and thrusts into me one last time, holding himself still as he comes. I feel his cock pulsing inside of me and there’s a twinge of sadness in my heart that these amazingly passionate moments between us will never again result in a baby. I hate that I can’t give him this one thing, but I know without a doubt that he was telling the truth when he told me it didn’t matter. As much as it hurts, I know he’s right. Nothing matters but here and now, and I’m not going to ruin it with regrets or sadness.
We fall back to sleep, wrapped in each other’s arms and it isn’t until we hear someone calling Cole’s name that we jerk awake. For the last few weeks, I’ve been doing Cole’s therapy in the gym at the housing complex and it’s been easier for him to just spend the night in our home.
Even though I painted over our yellow door and removed every trace of him from that house, it was always ours and there’s no point in calling it just mine anymore. It was never a home without him in it, anyway.
Last night, he convinced me to give him a break on physical therapy by pulling out the big guns, a collector’s edition of Dirty Dancing. He told me that I had to come to his place if I wanted to watch it. When I got there, he had candles lit on the table next to a bouquet of my favorite pink roses and the smell of tomato and garlic filled the house. He knew his homemade lasagna was my weakness and stuffing me full of noodles and cheese would make me more agreeable to spending a few hours that close to his parent’s home, but I never meant to fall asleep here. Being this close to them, even if they are out of town, makes me feel uneasy, but I couldn’t say no to him. I’m not ready to face anyone in his family just yet, but it looks like I don’t have a choice.
“Whose car is out front? I tried calling your cell phone but—”
The bedroom door is pushed open and I burrow down deeper under the covers and try to hide my embarrassment at being caught in his bed.
Caroline stands in the doorway, a look of shock passing over her face before quickly being replaced with excitement.
“Olivia! Oh, my God!”
Pulling my hand out from under the covers, I give her a little wave and a smile. “Hi, Caroline.”
“Ever hear of knocking, sis?” Cole asks with a laugh, scooting up in bed to lean against the headboard.
“Ever hear of calling your favorite sister and telling her, oh, I don’t know, that maybe something BIG is going on in your life?” she fires back, crossing her arms over her chest and tapping her foot.
“First of all, you’re my only sister and second, I did call. Do you ever check your messages?”
Caroline waves her hand at him and rolls her eyes. “Voicemails are thirty seconds of my life I’ll never get back. I had shoe sales to attend to.”
I smile at their back and forth banter and try not to be mortified that I’m still naked under the covers with Cole’s sister standing a few feet away. Surprisingly, I don’t feel any anger at seeing her again. The last time I saw her was one of the worst days of my life, but it was wrong of me to lash out at her.
“It’s good to see you again, Caroline,” I tell her honestly.
She stares at me for a few moments and I swear I see a flash of anger wash over her face. It’s gone before I can blink, though, and I know I must have imagined it. Caroline was sweet to me even when I was at my worst, screaming at her in a hospital room. I hope to God she isn’t angry about the way I behaved. I know none of it was her fault, but she was the only Vargas there at the time and I needed someone to blame. I don’t want there to be any animosity between us. There’s going to be enough of that between Vivien and I to go around.
“You and I, we’re going to have lunch and talk ASAP,” Caroline tells me with a bright smile.
“That would require her putting on clothes and I’m not really okay with that,” Cole teases, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me against his side.
Caroline’s face takes on a look of disgust and I jab my elbow into Cole’s ribs. “Will you cut it out? You’re going to make your sister puke.”
“Seriously, Cole. It’s bad enough I have to stand here and look at you two like… that,” she complains, waving her hands in our direction.
Cole kisses the top of my head and laughs at her.
“You two make me sick,” she mutters.
