Closer to the Edge
Page 61
I pray to God he doesn’t blame himself for what happens tonight. His family twisted everything inside his mind until he didn’t know what to believe. I hope he knows I forgive him for the things he said to me and realizes that this is not his fault.
“Cole Garrett Lafierre,” I whisper quietly to myself.
“Shut up,” Caroline barks, her fist slamming against my mouth to try and quiet me.
“Cole Garrett Lafierre, Cole Garrett Lafierre, Cole Garrett Lafierre,” I speak over and over, spitting the blood from my mouth and letting his name on my lips push aside all of my fears. I’ve never said his name out loud. I wrote it on his birth certificate, I traced my fingers over its etching on the headstone, but I never allowed myself to breathe his name. I let it flow out of me, my voice growing louder and louder each time I say it.
“What the fuck are you mumbling about?” Caroline asks angrily.
I keep my eyes closed and say it one last time.
“Cole Garrett Lafierre, my son, Cole’s son. You can kill me, but you can never, EVER take that away from me,” I sob, a sad smile on my face as I wait for it to happen.
A loud crack of thunder shakes the ground around us and I silently beg for Caroline to hurry up and end it already.
“Put the gun down, Caroline. Please, don’t make me do this.”
I feel the gun move away from my head and my eyes fly open. Caroline turns and points the gun behind her.
Directly at her mother.
“Please, baby,” Vivien cries. “I’m sorry.”
She looks at me as she apologizes and I see the anguish on her face. She’s holding a gun in her hand, pointed right at her own daughter. A daughter who ruined lives and forced her to pile lie on top of lie to protect her, but still her daughter. The little girl she raised and had so many hopes and dreams for. No mother should be put in this position no matter what she’s done to bring it on herself.
“Go away, Mother. I’ve got this handled,” Caroline huffs.
She starts to swing the gun back in my direction, but the click of Vivien turning off the safety on the gun makes Caroline pause.
“I’m so sorry, Olivia. You have no idea how sorry I am,” Vivien sobs. “I know it’s my fault that you’ll never get to be a mother and I will never forgive myself for that, but you have to understand how hard it is to not do everything you can to protect your child. I just wanted her to get better. I just wanted my little girl back.”
“Will you stop talking about me like I’m not here?” Caroline complains.
“Oh, baby. Why are you doing this? Please, just put the gun down. Please, don’t make me do this.”
I swallow back the tears as I watch the struggle tear through Vivien. I take a step back, away from Caroline, while she’s busy staring angrily at her mother.
“There’s nothing you need to do, Mother. I told you, I’ve got it all under control. Go back home where you can continue trying to control things that are out of your control and leave me the fuck alone,” Caroline shouts.
I turn to run just as Caroline starts to aim the gun back in my direction. I take off running as fast as I can into the pouring rain, hearing Vivien scream at the top of her lungs.
“Oh, God, please forgive me!”
The explosion of a gun roars louder than the thunder crashing all around me. My body jerks before I fall to the ground, splashing into the sopping wet grass and mud.
GARRETT IS DRIVING so fast that my shoulder slams painfully against the passenger door when he jerks the steering wheel to the left to pull into the gravel drive. He got us here in record time, dodging the assholes and idiots in this fucking city who don’t know how to navigate the hilly roads in the pouring rain but don’t have the sense to stay off of them, either.
I’m out of the car and racing through the rain before Garrett even gets the car in park, ignoring the tug and sharp pains radiating through my knee. I don’t care if I reopen the incision and I don’t care if I wrench it so badly that I’ll never walk again. All I care about is getting to Olivia. As I make my way across the wet grass of the front yard trying not to slip and fall while the thunder booms around me, I hear a gunshot and my heart stops.
“OLIVIA!” I scream through the wind and rain, moving faster as the partially finished house looms in front of me.
My whole body shakes with a combination of fear and cold, the chill of the rain soaking my skin and clothes as my eyes search frantically for Olivia. I hear Garrett stomping through the puddles behind me and the distant sound of sirens. The police were right behind us when we left the house, but Garrett quickly lost them in the mess of traffic by flying through red lights and pretty much disobeying every single traffic law known to man.
I crash through the plastic that covers what will eventually be the front door, moving through the skeleton of the house and trying not to think about the fact that I might never get to tell Olivia it’s all for her.
I stop short when I see my mother standing under the partially constructed roof of what’s going to be the back deck, her back towards me as she stares towards the cliffs in the back yard. It’s dark and the rain is coming down too hard for me to make out what she’s looking at and my heart stutters with fear.
Jesus Christ, please let her be okay, please let her be okay.
“Mom?” I say softly so I don’t spook her.
She doesn’t turn around, but I can see her shoulders shaking and heaving and I know she’s crying. Both of her arms hang limply at her sides and my stomach fills with dread when I see the gun clutched in her right hand. I slowly inch my way closer to her, trying to see around her and out into the yard.
“Cole Garrett Lafierre,” I whisper quietly to myself.
“Shut up,” Caroline barks, her fist slamming against my mouth to try and quiet me.
“Cole Garrett Lafierre, Cole Garrett Lafierre, Cole Garrett Lafierre,” I speak over and over, spitting the blood from my mouth and letting his name on my lips push aside all of my fears. I’ve never said his name out loud. I wrote it on his birth certificate, I traced my fingers over its etching on the headstone, but I never allowed myself to breathe his name. I let it flow out of me, my voice growing louder and louder each time I say it.
“What the fuck are you mumbling about?” Caroline asks angrily.
I keep my eyes closed and say it one last time.
“Cole Garrett Lafierre, my son, Cole’s son. You can kill me, but you can never, EVER take that away from me,” I sob, a sad smile on my face as I wait for it to happen.
A loud crack of thunder shakes the ground around us and I silently beg for Caroline to hurry up and end it already.
“Put the gun down, Caroline. Please, don’t make me do this.”
I feel the gun move away from my head and my eyes fly open. Caroline turns and points the gun behind her.
Directly at her mother.
“Please, baby,” Vivien cries. “I’m sorry.”
She looks at me as she apologizes and I see the anguish on her face. She’s holding a gun in her hand, pointed right at her own daughter. A daughter who ruined lives and forced her to pile lie on top of lie to protect her, but still her daughter. The little girl she raised and had so many hopes and dreams for. No mother should be put in this position no matter what she’s done to bring it on herself.
“Go away, Mother. I’ve got this handled,” Caroline huffs.
She starts to swing the gun back in my direction, but the click of Vivien turning off the safety on the gun makes Caroline pause.
“I’m so sorry, Olivia. You have no idea how sorry I am,” Vivien sobs. “I know it’s my fault that you’ll never get to be a mother and I will never forgive myself for that, but you have to understand how hard it is to not do everything you can to protect your child. I just wanted her to get better. I just wanted my little girl back.”
“Will you stop talking about me like I’m not here?” Caroline complains.
“Oh, baby. Why are you doing this? Please, just put the gun down. Please, don’t make me do this.”
I swallow back the tears as I watch the struggle tear through Vivien. I take a step back, away from Caroline, while she’s busy staring angrily at her mother.
“There’s nothing you need to do, Mother. I told you, I’ve got it all under control. Go back home where you can continue trying to control things that are out of your control and leave me the fuck alone,” Caroline shouts.
I turn to run just as Caroline starts to aim the gun back in my direction. I take off running as fast as I can into the pouring rain, hearing Vivien scream at the top of her lungs.
“Oh, God, please forgive me!”
The explosion of a gun roars louder than the thunder crashing all around me. My body jerks before I fall to the ground, splashing into the sopping wet grass and mud.
GARRETT IS DRIVING so fast that my shoulder slams painfully against the passenger door when he jerks the steering wheel to the left to pull into the gravel drive. He got us here in record time, dodging the assholes and idiots in this fucking city who don’t know how to navigate the hilly roads in the pouring rain but don’t have the sense to stay off of them, either.
I’m out of the car and racing through the rain before Garrett even gets the car in park, ignoring the tug and sharp pains radiating through my knee. I don’t care if I reopen the incision and I don’t care if I wrench it so badly that I’ll never walk again. All I care about is getting to Olivia. As I make my way across the wet grass of the front yard trying not to slip and fall while the thunder booms around me, I hear a gunshot and my heart stops.
“OLIVIA!” I scream through the wind and rain, moving faster as the partially finished house looms in front of me.
My whole body shakes with a combination of fear and cold, the chill of the rain soaking my skin and clothes as my eyes search frantically for Olivia. I hear Garrett stomping through the puddles behind me and the distant sound of sirens. The police were right behind us when we left the house, but Garrett quickly lost them in the mess of traffic by flying through red lights and pretty much disobeying every single traffic law known to man.
I crash through the plastic that covers what will eventually be the front door, moving through the skeleton of the house and trying not to think about the fact that I might never get to tell Olivia it’s all for her.
I stop short when I see my mother standing under the partially constructed roof of what’s going to be the back deck, her back towards me as she stares towards the cliffs in the back yard. It’s dark and the rain is coming down too hard for me to make out what she’s looking at and my heart stutters with fear.
Jesus Christ, please let her be okay, please let her be okay.
“Mom?” I say softly so I don’t spook her.
She doesn’t turn around, but I can see her shoulders shaking and heaving and I know she’s crying. Both of her arms hang limply at her sides and my stomach fills with dread when I see the gun clutched in her right hand. I slowly inch my way closer to her, trying to see around her and out into the yard.
