Cocky Bastard
Page 61
“I was very depressed for a long while. I threw myself into the new job. A couple of months after the move, I met a guy. He became a really good friend. His name was Jeremy. He was so sweet and good to me. We were friends for six months before he became my boyfriend. He knew everything about what happened between you and me.” She laughed a little, looking over at me for the first time. “He hated you.”
I smiled even though that made me hurt on the inside.
She continued, “I put up a wall, wouldn’t let him in. I was still so wrapped up in you even though you were gone, and you’d hurt me. You were still all I wanted, all I yearned for. Everywhere I went, everything reminded me of you. Jeremy knew it. He wanted more from me than I could give him. He wanted my heart, and even though you’d broken it, it still belonged to you.”
“How did you end up meeting Richard?”
“After things ended with Jeremy, I decided I really needed help. Between my career, my relationships, even my family dealings…I felt…stuck. I started seeing a therapist. She helped me to make some changes and stop blaming myself for your leaving. She helped me move on somewhat from the trust and abandonment issues. I’m still working on them. She also made me see that I had to accept that you weren’t coming back. By the time Richard entered my life seven months ago, I was ready to let someone in again. He was hired as a partner at the firm. That’s how we met.”
“As much as I rank on his name, he seems like a nice guy.”
“I’ve never told him about you. Yes, he is a wonderful person. He and I have a lot of common interests. He encourages me to follow my passion. He’s the reason I started getting involved in the animal shelter.”
“That’s a good thing.”
“He wasn’t the first person to inspire me that way. That was the one thing you did for me, Chance. You taught me so much in a short amount of time about how to live life. Even though you broke my heart, I never regretted meeting you. I still wouldn’t go back and change it. That was the thing that always seemed so fucked up to me. A lot of who I am now is because of you.”
“Do you love him?”
Without hesitation, she said, “Yes.” Her answer felt like a gunshot to the chest at point blank range.
Swallowing, I said, “Okay…”
“I’ve been very confused. As much as I care about Richard, I’m not going to lie. Your showing up has turned my world upside down. I could have never guessed the real reason that you were gone. Everything I believed to be true…isn’t. I assumed you abandoned me for other reasons.”
“I thought I was doing you a favor.”
“Why didn’t you want me to wait for you?” Sounding pained, she added, “I would have waited every single one of those days.”
I caressed her hair. I couldn’t help it. “I never doubted that. But I thought you’d grow to resent me. I didn’t know what being in jail would do to me and didn’t want you waiting for a man who I wasn’t sure would be worth it. In reality, the experience made me a stronger person, but I had no way of knowing that back then. More than anything, you didn’t deserve to have to put your life on hold just when you were trying for a fresh start.”
“Even though I now understand things more clearly, the way you left was still traumatizing. Even if things were different with Richard, I don’t know that I could ever fully trust you not to leave again.”
Hearing that made me uneasy. I stopped beating around the bush.
“Just answer me this. Am I really too late?”
My heart was pounding. She hesitated, and something in her eyes gave me a glimmer of hope. This moment felt like my last opportunity, and I wasn’t too proud to beg.
She was still sitting on the bed when I fell to my knees below her, resting my head on her stomach. “Just tell me what to do, Aubrey.” I repeated, “Just tell me what I need to do to get you to give me another chance.”
I hadn’t been touched by a woman in over two years, so when she raked her fingers through my hair, it seemed to feel better than anything I’d ever experienced in my life. My breath hitched. Her breathing was ragged. Each sound that escaped her went straight to my cock. Being so close like this made me desperate for a taste of her. I wasn’t beyond taking advantage of her sexual attraction to me.
If I had to play dirty, I would. Speaking slowly over her stomach, I said, “Let me make it up to you. I swear you’ll forget all the pain. You won’t even remember your own name.”
I smiled even though that made me hurt on the inside.
She continued, “I put up a wall, wouldn’t let him in. I was still so wrapped up in you even though you were gone, and you’d hurt me. You were still all I wanted, all I yearned for. Everywhere I went, everything reminded me of you. Jeremy knew it. He wanted more from me than I could give him. He wanted my heart, and even though you’d broken it, it still belonged to you.”
“How did you end up meeting Richard?”
“After things ended with Jeremy, I decided I really needed help. Between my career, my relationships, even my family dealings…I felt…stuck. I started seeing a therapist. She helped me to make some changes and stop blaming myself for your leaving. She helped me move on somewhat from the trust and abandonment issues. I’m still working on them. She also made me see that I had to accept that you weren’t coming back. By the time Richard entered my life seven months ago, I was ready to let someone in again. He was hired as a partner at the firm. That’s how we met.”
“As much as I rank on his name, he seems like a nice guy.”
“I’ve never told him about you. Yes, he is a wonderful person. He and I have a lot of common interests. He encourages me to follow my passion. He’s the reason I started getting involved in the animal shelter.”
“That’s a good thing.”
“He wasn’t the first person to inspire me that way. That was the one thing you did for me, Chance. You taught me so much in a short amount of time about how to live life. Even though you broke my heart, I never regretted meeting you. I still wouldn’t go back and change it. That was the thing that always seemed so fucked up to me. A lot of who I am now is because of you.”
“Do you love him?”
Without hesitation, she said, “Yes.” Her answer felt like a gunshot to the chest at point blank range.
Swallowing, I said, “Okay…”
“I’ve been very confused. As much as I care about Richard, I’m not going to lie. Your showing up has turned my world upside down. I could have never guessed the real reason that you were gone. Everything I believed to be true…isn’t. I assumed you abandoned me for other reasons.”
“I thought I was doing you a favor.”
“Why didn’t you want me to wait for you?” Sounding pained, she added, “I would have waited every single one of those days.”
I caressed her hair. I couldn’t help it. “I never doubted that. But I thought you’d grow to resent me. I didn’t know what being in jail would do to me and didn’t want you waiting for a man who I wasn’t sure would be worth it. In reality, the experience made me a stronger person, but I had no way of knowing that back then. More than anything, you didn’t deserve to have to put your life on hold just when you were trying for a fresh start.”
“Even though I now understand things more clearly, the way you left was still traumatizing. Even if things were different with Richard, I don’t know that I could ever fully trust you not to leave again.”
Hearing that made me uneasy. I stopped beating around the bush.
“Just answer me this. Am I really too late?”
My heart was pounding. She hesitated, and something in her eyes gave me a glimmer of hope. This moment felt like my last opportunity, and I wasn’t too proud to beg.
She was still sitting on the bed when I fell to my knees below her, resting my head on her stomach. “Just tell me what to do, Aubrey.” I repeated, “Just tell me what I need to do to get you to give me another chance.”
I hadn’t been touched by a woman in over two years, so when she raked her fingers through my hair, it seemed to feel better than anything I’d ever experienced in my life. My breath hitched. Her breathing was ragged. Each sound that escaped her went straight to my cock. Being so close like this made me desperate for a taste of her. I wasn’t beyond taking advantage of her sexual attraction to me.
If I had to play dirty, I would. Speaking slowly over her stomach, I said, “Let me make it up to you. I swear you’ll forget all the pain. You won’t even remember your own name.”
