Cold Days
Page 131
"She'll learn better," Murphy said. "Eventually. If you try."
"You don't understand," I said. "I can't . . . I can't do anything that might hurt her. I just can't. I barely know that little girl-but she's mine. And I'd rather double-kneecap myself with a frying pan than bring her an ounce of pain."
"Pain passes," Karrin said. "If you think about it-"
"You don't get it," I half snarled. "She's blood, Karrin. She's mine. Thinking has no place in this. She's my little girl. I can't see her get hurt again-"
I stopped suddenly with my mouth hanging open.
Hell's bells, how could I have missed what the Mothers were trying to tell me?
I couldn't bear to see my child in pain.
And maybe I wasn't the only one who couldn't.
"Stars and stones," I breathed. "That's what's happening here."
Karrin blinked up at me several times. "Excuse me?"
I kept thinking about it, following the logic. "That's why Mab sent me to kill Maeve. She's no different from Titania. She knew it needed to be done but . . ."
"But what?" Karrin asked.
"Maeve is still her little girl," I said quietly. "Mab isn't human, but there are . . . remnants in all the Sidhe. Mother Winter called Mab a romantic. I think this is why. Mother Summer went on and on about how humans have influenced the Sidhe. That's what this whole thing is about."
"I don't understand," Karrin said.
"Mab loves her daughter," I said simply. "She won't kill Maeve because she loves her." I let out a bitter little laugh. "And there's the kind of symmetry here that the faeries are crazy about. I killed the last Summer Lady. It's only fitting that the same hand deal with the Winter Lady."
My brain was running along with my mouth, and I stopped talking so that I could poke at the logic of the theory that my instincts-or maybe my heart-told me was obviously true. If Mab wasn't out to wreck the world, if she hadn't been taken by the adversary, then someone else had been lying to me. Someone who shouldn't have been able to lie.
"Okay," Karrin said. "If not Mab, then who is going to pull off this apocalypse ritual magic?"
I kept following the lines of logic and felt myself grow abruptly cold. "Oh. Oh, God. All this time." I turned and started for the door. "Outsiders. At the end of the day, this is all about the Outsiders. We've got to go. Right now."
"Harry," Karrin said.
I turned to face her.
"Why won't you explain . . . ?" She frowned. "You don't trust me. So you're going to keep me close just like the others."
I looked down at the floor. "Don't take ithard. I don't trust myself right now."
She shook her head. "This is the thanks I get."
"It's Halloween," I said. "It's the night when everyone looks like something that they aren't." I turned toward the door. "But I'm about to start ripping off masks. And we'll both see where everyone stands. Come on."
Chapter Forty
I had a word with Toot-toot once we were outside, and by the time the Munstermobile rolled out of the lot, we had a ring of tiny, nigh-invisible escorts pacing us, making it their business to dislodge any enemy tiny observers our foes might have sent to keep tabs on us. It didn't make me think that we would avoid the attentions of enemy Little Folk altogether, but every little thing I could conceal from the people working against me could prove to be a critical edge.
Karrin saw the car's paint job again, rolled her eyes, and declined my offer of a ride. She followed us on her Harley. Molly rode shotgun with me, holding her backpack on her lap. Molly was a big believer in shaping the future by way of carrying anything you might need in a backpack. Tonight it looked particularly stuffed.
As I drove, the burn in my calf continued every time I worked the clutch or pumped the brake, getting slowly worse beneath the layers of gauze Butters had wrapped it in. The rest of my lower leg was tingling and itching, too, but at least the wound wasn't soaking through the bandages.
What the hell had that dart been? Why plug me with it, unless the Redcap thought it would kill me?
"I, uh," Molly said as I pulled the Caddy into the marina parking lot. "I got you something."
"Eh?" I asked.
"I had them rush it out this morning and we got it this afternoon. I mean, you know. As long as I was using Thomas's card anyway."
I blinked. "You embezzled funds from the White Court to get me a present?"
"I like to think of it less as embezzling and more as an involuntary goodwill contribution," she said.
"Careful," I told her. "You don't want to get entangled with Lara and her crew. Even owing them money isn't smart."
"I didn't borrow it, boss. I stole it. If they weren't cautious enough to stop me, that isn't my problem. They should be more careful who they hand those cards to. Besides, they can afford it."
"The entitled younger generation, I swear," I said. "Well-done." I found a space big enough for the Munstermobile and parked, then set the emergency brake and killed the engine. "What is it?"
Molly got out of the car. "Come see."
I started to, but she hurried impatiently around to meet me, digging into her backpack. I shut the car door behind me and she presented me with a paper-covered package tied with string.
"You don't understand," I said. "I can't . . . I can't do anything that might hurt her. I just can't. I barely know that little girl-but she's mine. And I'd rather double-kneecap myself with a frying pan than bring her an ounce of pain."
"Pain passes," Karrin said. "If you think about it-"
"You don't get it," I half snarled. "She's blood, Karrin. She's mine. Thinking has no place in this. She's my little girl. I can't see her get hurt again-"
I stopped suddenly with my mouth hanging open.
Hell's bells, how could I have missed what the Mothers were trying to tell me?
I couldn't bear to see my child in pain.
And maybe I wasn't the only one who couldn't.
"Stars and stones," I breathed. "That's what's happening here."
Karrin blinked up at me several times. "Excuse me?"
I kept thinking about it, following the logic. "That's why Mab sent me to kill Maeve. She's no different from Titania. She knew it needed to be done but . . ."
"But what?" Karrin asked.
"Maeve is still her little girl," I said quietly. "Mab isn't human, but there are . . . remnants in all the Sidhe. Mother Winter called Mab a romantic. I think this is why. Mother Summer went on and on about how humans have influenced the Sidhe. That's what this whole thing is about."
"I don't understand," Karrin said.
"Mab loves her daughter," I said simply. "She won't kill Maeve because she loves her." I let out a bitter little laugh. "And there's the kind of symmetry here that the faeries are crazy about. I killed the last Summer Lady. It's only fitting that the same hand deal with the Winter Lady."
My brain was running along with my mouth, and I stopped talking so that I could poke at the logic of the theory that my instincts-or maybe my heart-told me was obviously true. If Mab wasn't out to wreck the world, if she hadn't been taken by the adversary, then someone else had been lying to me. Someone who shouldn't have been able to lie.
"Okay," Karrin said. "If not Mab, then who is going to pull off this apocalypse ritual magic?"
I kept following the lines of logic and felt myself grow abruptly cold. "Oh. Oh, God. All this time." I turned and started for the door. "Outsiders. At the end of the day, this is all about the Outsiders. We've got to go. Right now."
"Harry," Karrin said.
I turned to face her.
"Why won't you explain . . . ?" She frowned. "You don't trust me. So you're going to keep me close just like the others."
I looked down at the floor. "Don't take ithard. I don't trust myself right now."
She shook her head. "This is the thanks I get."
"It's Halloween," I said. "It's the night when everyone looks like something that they aren't." I turned toward the door. "But I'm about to start ripping off masks. And we'll both see where everyone stands. Come on."
Chapter Forty
I had a word with Toot-toot once we were outside, and by the time the Munstermobile rolled out of the lot, we had a ring of tiny, nigh-invisible escorts pacing us, making it their business to dislodge any enemy tiny observers our foes might have sent to keep tabs on us. It didn't make me think that we would avoid the attentions of enemy Little Folk altogether, but every little thing I could conceal from the people working against me could prove to be a critical edge.
Karrin saw the car's paint job again, rolled her eyes, and declined my offer of a ride. She followed us on her Harley. Molly rode shotgun with me, holding her backpack on her lap. Molly was a big believer in shaping the future by way of carrying anything you might need in a backpack. Tonight it looked particularly stuffed.
As I drove, the burn in my calf continued every time I worked the clutch or pumped the brake, getting slowly worse beneath the layers of gauze Butters had wrapped it in. The rest of my lower leg was tingling and itching, too, but at least the wound wasn't soaking through the bandages.
What the hell had that dart been? Why plug me with it, unless the Redcap thought it would kill me?
"I, uh," Molly said as I pulled the Caddy into the marina parking lot. "I got you something."
"Eh?" I asked.
"I had them rush it out this morning and we got it this afternoon. I mean, you know. As long as I was using Thomas's card anyway."
I blinked. "You embezzled funds from the White Court to get me a present?"
"I like to think of it less as embezzling and more as an involuntary goodwill contribution," she said.
"Careful," I told her. "You don't want to get entangled with Lara and her crew. Even owing them money isn't smart."
"I didn't borrow it, boss. I stole it. If they weren't cautious enough to stop me, that isn't my problem. They should be more careful who they hand those cards to. Besides, they can afford it."
"The entitled younger generation, I swear," I said. "Well-done." I found a space big enough for the Munstermobile and parked, then set the emergency brake and killed the engine. "What is it?"
Molly got out of the car. "Come see."
I started to, but she hurried impatiently around to meet me, digging into her backpack. I shut the car door behind me and she presented me with a paper-covered package tied with string.
