Cold Days
Page 156
And Lily spoke, her voice burning with the unleashed power of Summer. "We are working together. We are destroying the largest source of dark energy and corruption in this world. The source you are so desperate to protect that you call Outsiders to defend it!"
Oh, God.
Lily didn't know what was in the Well. She understood that it was a source of dark energy, but not why.
I kept forgetting that she had had the job for only a comparatively tiny amount of time. Before I'd killed Aurora and left poor Lily holding the mantle of the Summer Lady, she'd been a young woman, no older than Molly, only without Molly's skills and training. She'd been putting her life back together while dealing with the massive power of her mantle, taking a crash course in faerie leadership, struggling to learn.
And if someone had been there to feed her lies as part of her basic education in the supernatural, someone whose word she had trusted, God only knew how much her knowledge had been twisted and colored.
"Who told you I called up Outsiders?" I asked. "Maeve?"
"So arrogant," Lily said. "You reek of arrogance and deception, like all wizards. Even the famous Merlin, who built this abomination." Her eyes narrowed. "But as complex as it is, it is still made of mortal magic. This circle that we used to stop your interference-it's a part of the architecture here. All we had to do was feed power into it to close this place against your allies while we tore it down from inside."
"If you keep going," I told her, "you are going to destroy yourself, Lily, and everyone you brought with you, and a lot of innocent people are going to die."
"Finish it, Lily," Maeve called. "I told you they would lie. Mortals always lie, and that is why we must stand together. We cannot allow ourselves to be divided. Put him down and we will complete what we have begun."
"Lily, please," I said. "Don't take my word for it. Don't believe me. But be certain. Find out for yourself. Then you'll know. You don't have to do this."
The Summer fire vanished abruptly.
Lily stood over me, her hair mussed, her naked body so beautiful, it hurt. She spoke in a quiet, dreadfully numb voice. "You can't tell me that," she said. "Not you. Do you think I wanted this? Do you think I wanted pain and death and fear and war? Do you think I wanted this mantle, this responsibility?" Her eyes welled, though her expression didn't change. "I didn't want the world. I didn't want vast riches, or fame, or power. I wanted a husband. Children. Love. A home that we made together. And that can never happen now." The tears fell, and as the heat, the fury, came back into her voice, the fire gathered around her again. "Because of you. Because you killed Aurora. Because you made me into this. You raise your hand against my champion, my friend, and when you aredefeated you dare tell me what I must and must not do?"
"Lily, please," I said. "You have a choice."
Maeve was laughing again in the background, an Arkham Asylum kind of laugh that echoed across the bare, burned ground.
"Now," Lily said, her burning voice bitter. "Now you give me a choice." The ministar flared to life in her palm again. "Thus do I choose, you son of a bitch. Knight of Winter, burn and die."
I got it, I think. Or at least, I got most of it. Lily had spent her life a victim because of her luminous beauty. Lloyd Slate had been the last man to abuse her, but I doubted he was the first. All her life, she had been shut away from making choices, but she clearly had not wanted to be part of the world of Faerie; as a changeling, she could have Chosen to become a full faerie being at any time-and she hadn't. Then when I killed Aurora, I had even taken the choice to remain human away from her.
I hadn't meant to do that when I killed Aurora, but that fact made no difference in the outcome. I hadn't just killed Aurora that night. In many ways, I'd effectively killed Lily, too. I'd thrown her into a world where she was lost and afraid. A grieving and furious Titania had doubtless not been the supportive mentor figure Lily had needed. And even if she'd been a newly minted immortal, she must have been horribly angry, and sad, and afraid-and lonely.
Easy prey for Maeve. Easy prey for Nemesis. I wasn't sure whether there was anything about that entire situation that I could have changed, even if I'd known that it needed changing, but I still felt like I was the one at fault. Maybe I was. It had been my choice that changed everything.
Maybe it was fitting that Lily kill me, in turn.
Her fiery eyes seared into mine as she launched the little star at my heart.
Chapter Forty-nine
There was a flash of silver, and the little star bounced off of the mirror-bright flat of Fix's long sword.
It soared into the earth a dozen yards away and hit the ground with a flash and a howl of heated air, creating a brief column of white flame that, presumably, had been intended to replace my head and neck.
Fix was holding himself up on one elbow, and held the sword in his left hand. He looked like hell, but he made a single deft rolling motion and came onto his feet as if he didn't weigh anything.
And he came to his feet between Lily and me.
"Lily!" Fix said. "What is wrong with you?"
Eyes of flame regarded him. "You . . . you're all right?"
"I said that," I said. My voice might have squeaked a little. My heart rate was up.
"Harry, shut up," Fix said. "Lily, look at him. He isn't a threat to anyone."
I guess I must have looked kind of bad, but still . . . "Hey," I said.
Oh, God.
Lily didn't know what was in the Well. She understood that it was a source of dark energy, but not why.
I kept forgetting that she had had the job for only a comparatively tiny amount of time. Before I'd killed Aurora and left poor Lily holding the mantle of the Summer Lady, she'd been a young woman, no older than Molly, only without Molly's skills and training. She'd been putting her life back together while dealing with the massive power of her mantle, taking a crash course in faerie leadership, struggling to learn.
And if someone had been there to feed her lies as part of her basic education in the supernatural, someone whose word she had trusted, God only knew how much her knowledge had been twisted and colored.
"Who told you I called up Outsiders?" I asked. "Maeve?"
"So arrogant," Lily said. "You reek of arrogance and deception, like all wizards. Even the famous Merlin, who built this abomination." Her eyes narrowed. "But as complex as it is, it is still made of mortal magic. This circle that we used to stop your interference-it's a part of the architecture here. All we had to do was feed power into it to close this place against your allies while we tore it down from inside."
"If you keep going," I told her, "you are going to destroy yourself, Lily, and everyone you brought with you, and a lot of innocent people are going to die."
"Finish it, Lily," Maeve called. "I told you they would lie. Mortals always lie, and that is why we must stand together. We cannot allow ourselves to be divided. Put him down and we will complete what we have begun."
"Lily, please," I said. "Don't take my word for it. Don't believe me. But be certain. Find out for yourself. Then you'll know. You don't have to do this."
The Summer fire vanished abruptly.
Lily stood over me, her hair mussed, her naked body so beautiful, it hurt. She spoke in a quiet, dreadfully numb voice. "You can't tell me that," she said. "Not you. Do you think I wanted this? Do you think I wanted pain and death and fear and war? Do you think I wanted this mantle, this responsibility?" Her eyes welled, though her expression didn't change. "I didn't want the world. I didn't want vast riches, or fame, or power. I wanted a husband. Children. Love. A home that we made together. And that can never happen now." The tears fell, and as the heat, the fury, came back into her voice, the fire gathered around her again. "Because of you. Because you killed Aurora. Because you made me into this. You raise your hand against my champion, my friend, and when you aredefeated you dare tell me what I must and must not do?"
"Lily, please," I said. "You have a choice."
Maeve was laughing again in the background, an Arkham Asylum kind of laugh that echoed across the bare, burned ground.
"Now," Lily said, her burning voice bitter. "Now you give me a choice." The ministar flared to life in her palm again. "Thus do I choose, you son of a bitch. Knight of Winter, burn and die."
I got it, I think. Or at least, I got most of it. Lily had spent her life a victim because of her luminous beauty. Lloyd Slate had been the last man to abuse her, but I doubted he was the first. All her life, she had been shut away from making choices, but she clearly had not wanted to be part of the world of Faerie; as a changeling, she could have Chosen to become a full faerie being at any time-and she hadn't. Then when I killed Aurora, I had even taken the choice to remain human away from her.
I hadn't meant to do that when I killed Aurora, but that fact made no difference in the outcome. I hadn't just killed Aurora that night. In many ways, I'd effectively killed Lily, too. I'd thrown her into a world where she was lost and afraid. A grieving and furious Titania had doubtless not been the supportive mentor figure Lily had needed. And even if she'd been a newly minted immortal, she must have been horribly angry, and sad, and afraid-and lonely.
Easy prey for Maeve. Easy prey for Nemesis. I wasn't sure whether there was anything about that entire situation that I could have changed, even if I'd known that it needed changing, but I still felt like I was the one at fault. Maybe I was. It had been my choice that changed everything.
Maybe it was fitting that Lily kill me, in turn.
Her fiery eyes seared into mine as she launched the little star at my heart.
Chapter Forty-nine
There was a flash of silver, and the little star bounced off of the mirror-bright flat of Fix's long sword.
It soared into the earth a dozen yards away and hit the ground with a flash and a howl of heated air, creating a brief column of white flame that, presumably, had been intended to replace my head and neck.
Fix was holding himself up on one elbow, and held the sword in his left hand. He looked like hell, but he made a single deft rolling motion and came onto his feet as if he didn't weigh anything.
And he came to his feet between Lily and me.
"Lily!" Fix said. "What is wrong with you?"
Eyes of flame regarded him. "You . . . you're all right?"
"I said that," I said. My voice might have squeaked a little. My heart rate was up.
"Harry, shut up," Fix said. "Lily, look at him. He isn't a threat to anyone."
I guess I must have looked kind of bad, but still . . . "Hey," I said.
