Collide

Page 48

Noah pulled his hand away from Cooper’s dick and stepped back.
“Sorry. Not in the mood,” Cooper mumbled, before turning off the water and drying his hands. He twisted to face Noah, his square jaw dusted with stubble. Damn, he was sexy. This would be a whole hell of a lot easier if he wasn’t.
“Not in the mood, huh?”
Cooper tossed the hand towel to the counter. “Yeah. That okay with you? We said we’d see how things went. This is different for me, Noah. You can’t just come up and put your hand on my cock any time you want to.”
Noah crossed his arms. “I don’t know the rules if you don’t tell me. I’ve had my hands and mouth all over you. You’ve had yours on me too, if you don’t remember. I’ve slept in your bed every fucking night for weeks, and now you’re suddenly pissed when I touch you? You seemed to like it all the other times.”
Anger shook his insides, threatening to take over. He shouldn’t be this fucking mad, but he was. Not because he couldn’t pleasure Cooper right now, because that’s not all this was about.
He knew what this meant. Knew it was already over, even though he didn’t think it was what Coop wanted. He sure as hell knew it wasn’t what he wanted.
“Fuck you, Noah.” The words shot from Cooper’s mouth, fast, deadly like a bullet. But then, Cooper dropped his head forward and sighed. “I don’t want to fight with you. This is…this is new for me.”
Noah fought the urge to go over to him, with wanting to give Cooper the space he needed. “It was new to you before as well. If you don’t want to be touched, you have that right. You know I fucking believe that, and if you want to stop, we stop. I’ve said that from the beginning, but I find it a really big coincidence that you came in my mouth just this morning and after one visit to your uncle’s, you don’t want me to touch you.”
It was Coop who then walked over to Noah, who stood next to the kitchen table. It was Cooper who put his hands flat on that very same table, so his arms were around Noah. It was Cooper who dropped his forehead to Noah’s shoulder, and Cooper who inhaled a deep breath as though wanting to take in the scent of Noah.
And that made Noah hard as a rock. He loved the scent of a man. Loved Cooper’s especially. He ached to believe that Cooper wanted to take in Noah’s scent as well.
Finally, Coop spoke. “They’re the only family I have, Noah. They took care of me when my parents died.”
There it was, the truth Noah always knew anyway. Still he had to ask, “So you believe what we’re doing is wrong, because they don’t approve?”
Cooper paused before replying. “I’m not gay, Noah. That’s all that fucking matters. I…I don’t know what was going on with me. Maybe it was curiosity or having you back in my life, and being close to you again. Who the hell knows? But I’m not gay. I’ve never wanted a man before.”
“You want one now.” Noah grabbed Cooper’s hips and held him. Didn’t pull him closer, but needed to touch him. Maybe, he shouldn’t have said anything. Maybe, he should have just walked away, but he needed to hear the words. Yes, Coop did want him. And Christ, he wanted to feel him, even if it was for the last time.
Cooper sighed, his breath warm on Noah’s neck, before standing up straight again. “Wanted.”
That one word pierced a hole through Noah’s chest. It was all he needed to hear. “Then there’s our answer.” Noah dropped his hands, backed away. “It was fun while it lasted. Would have been nice to get a fuck out of it.” He winked, giving Coop a half-smile he didn’t really feel.
“You’re never happy with what you get.” Cooper didn’t even try to smile, but shook his head. “We can go back? Be friends like we always were?”
The vulnerability in Cooper’s voice tied Noah in knots. Cooper was usually the sure one. He always knew what he wanted, and always figured, things would just work out. Noah needed him to be that way about this, too. “Come on, man. You know us better than that. Plus, even if I didn’t want to be your friend anymore, you’d bulldoze your way in like always. You’re too damn used to getting your way.”
Finally, Cooper smiled. “Asshole,” he muttered.
“Takes one to know one.” The air between them was awkward, stiff, no matter how hard they tried not to make it so. This wasn’t something they could get over by teasing each other.
“Okay, I’m going to finish up these dishes.” Cooper stepped back toward the sink.