Coming Undone
Page 3
As she made herself a late dinner, she took in the space they now called home. Over the weekend she’d hung up the art she’d stuffed into the van they’d driven out from New York. The couch, on sale at a local store, had come a few days prior. Red. Red with white cushions. Just looking at it made her happy.
The area rugs she’d collected over the years as she’d traveled the world covered the shiny wood floors. The house was earthy, colorful and warm. A big change from her silver and pale blue Manhattan condo.
A needed change. Warm and earthy suited her, damn it, and it would keep on that way. Rennie’s recent artwork splashed the refrigerator doors with color and lent that extra bit of home. One positive she got from her father.
Shaking her head, Elise moved back to pleasant things. She made a mental note to thank her friend from the NBT who’d hooked her up with some local people and gotten the word out about her school. That word had given her enrollment numbers a huge boost. The bills would be paid, and in a year or so they might even be turning a profit.
Rennie appeared to be making friends in her summer camp program, which kept her busy during the day and worked most of her energy out, much to Elise’s relief at bedtime. They’d gone furniture shopping and gotten new beds for each of them. Their nightly routine included grabbing some groceries and heading home.
Glorious and totally, utterly normal.
The fact that she lived without fear occurred to her in the same way you notice when crickets suddenly start up in the summer. Life springs around you and you realize it’s going to be okay.
Her left leg was fine. Elise could still dance better than 95 percent of the population, but she’d never be a primary dancer again. She’d never dance with any major company, because her body would not hold up under the stresses of that life. Age was a factor now, but mostly it was the damage to her right leg and the multiple dislocations of her shoulder. Her balance wasn’t as precise, her strength not quite enough.
In that, Ken had won. He’d taken that dream from her.
But simply by standing there, happily enjoying a rage-free home and a glass of wine, Elise had won. And she had absolutely no intention of feeling guilt for surviving. Rennie needed her. Moreover, Rennie needed to see her mother as a woman who stood tall instead of wincing in fear. Who took what life had to offer with both hands and forged a place for herself instead of waiting for someone to provide it for her.
Through it, Elise knew she’d be a better person for herself too.
Elise worked in her front yard, cleaning out the flower beds and getting some new plants in. As she did, it wasn’t like she couldn’t take a look from time to time as a new, hot-looking bad boy rode up on a big motorcycle. For someone so big and sort of scary-looking, that guy who lived across the street was pretty hot. His friends too. Apparently Elise had a thing for bad boys. Hmm. Well okay, so that wasn’t so much of a surprise, but hopefully the bad on those boys was the good kind.
And since this was just a conversation going on in her head and all, it was nice to know that after two years of having sex with no one but her hand or her toys, her libido could still rev up at the sight of something so spectacularly male. She could look, store up some fantasy fodder for her dates with her hand and also know men like her neighbor were totally out of her league.
But holy shit, all the hard thighs encased in faded denim, the tight asses, the tattoos and general bad-boy air going on was more than enough to overcome any discomfort at being on her knees in the dirt. She had on sunglasses and a ball cap, so it wasn’t like they could see her ogling them or anything. She could objectify and fantasize to her heart’s content. Mmm.
The earth was warm, the scent dark and rich as she dug and planted, tore out and worked. It felt good to make a physical change with her hands. To create a difference in her environment.
“Momma, we need more pink flowers. We don’t have enough pink.” Grinning, she looked up the filthy legs of her monkey of a child and into a face dirtier than her clothes. “I’d be challenged to find a spot on your body not covered in dirt. Honey, have you been eating dirt?”
“Ew! As if! But a girl has to get her hands dirty when she’s working in the garden. That’s what Gran says.”
Elise laughed, thinking of her mother saying exactly that, though usually as she ordered someone else around to do the gardening for her while she watched.
“We can go to the garden center later today, if you like. Then you can pick out the flowers you’d like to plant. Maybe after we get some lunch. What do you say? A girls’ lunch date and then some shopping?”
Rennie’s big blue eyes lit. “Awesome.”
“First, you need to be cleaned up and changed. Good Lord, I should just hose you off out here.”
Rennie squealed as Elise grabbed the nearby hose and gave her daughter a squirt. The squealing rose in volume and pitch as Rennie grabbed the watering can, tossing the contents at her mother.
“Oh, I’m gonna get even with you for that!”
Rennie hooted some smack-talk her way as she streaked through the freshly painted arbor over the opened backyard gate, her mother in hot pursuit.
Ben looked up from his bike and toward the noise across the way and then back over to Brody. “Dude, when did you get a new neighbor? I thought an elderly couple lived over there.”
Brody caught the sight of two females, one grown chasing a smaller one, laughing, water spraying from the hose. He smiled briefly at the idyllic scene and the flash of pale blonde hair as they rounded a corner. “Dunno. I noticed a new car in the driveway, but whoever they are I haven’t met them yet. Maybe a young family or something.”
The area rugs she’d collected over the years as she’d traveled the world covered the shiny wood floors. The house was earthy, colorful and warm. A big change from her silver and pale blue Manhattan condo.
A needed change. Warm and earthy suited her, damn it, and it would keep on that way. Rennie’s recent artwork splashed the refrigerator doors with color and lent that extra bit of home. One positive she got from her father.
Shaking her head, Elise moved back to pleasant things. She made a mental note to thank her friend from the NBT who’d hooked her up with some local people and gotten the word out about her school. That word had given her enrollment numbers a huge boost. The bills would be paid, and in a year or so they might even be turning a profit.
Rennie appeared to be making friends in her summer camp program, which kept her busy during the day and worked most of her energy out, much to Elise’s relief at bedtime. They’d gone furniture shopping and gotten new beds for each of them. Their nightly routine included grabbing some groceries and heading home.
Glorious and totally, utterly normal.
The fact that she lived without fear occurred to her in the same way you notice when crickets suddenly start up in the summer. Life springs around you and you realize it’s going to be okay.
Her left leg was fine. Elise could still dance better than 95 percent of the population, but she’d never be a primary dancer again. She’d never dance with any major company, because her body would not hold up under the stresses of that life. Age was a factor now, but mostly it was the damage to her right leg and the multiple dislocations of her shoulder. Her balance wasn’t as precise, her strength not quite enough.
In that, Ken had won. He’d taken that dream from her.
But simply by standing there, happily enjoying a rage-free home and a glass of wine, Elise had won. And she had absolutely no intention of feeling guilt for surviving. Rennie needed her. Moreover, Rennie needed to see her mother as a woman who stood tall instead of wincing in fear. Who took what life had to offer with both hands and forged a place for herself instead of waiting for someone to provide it for her.
Through it, Elise knew she’d be a better person for herself too.
Elise worked in her front yard, cleaning out the flower beds and getting some new plants in. As she did, it wasn’t like she couldn’t take a look from time to time as a new, hot-looking bad boy rode up on a big motorcycle. For someone so big and sort of scary-looking, that guy who lived across the street was pretty hot. His friends too. Apparently Elise had a thing for bad boys. Hmm. Well okay, so that wasn’t so much of a surprise, but hopefully the bad on those boys was the good kind.
And since this was just a conversation going on in her head and all, it was nice to know that after two years of having sex with no one but her hand or her toys, her libido could still rev up at the sight of something so spectacularly male. She could look, store up some fantasy fodder for her dates with her hand and also know men like her neighbor were totally out of her league.
But holy shit, all the hard thighs encased in faded denim, the tight asses, the tattoos and general bad-boy air going on was more than enough to overcome any discomfort at being on her knees in the dirt. She had on sunglasses and a ball cap, so it wasn’t like they could see her ogling them or anything. She could objectify and fantasize to her heart’s content. Mmm.
The earth was warm, the scent dark and rich as she dug and planted, tore out and worked. It felt good to make a physical change with her hands. To create a difference in her environment.
“Momma, we need more pink flowers. We don’t have enough pink.” Grinning, she looked up the filthy legs of her monkey of a child and into a face dirtier than her clothes. “I’d be challenged to find a spot on your body not covered in dirt. Honey, have you been eating dirt?”
“Ew! As if! But a girl has to get her hands dirty when she’s working in the garden. That’s what Gran says.”
Elise laughed, thinking of her mother saying exactly that, though usually as she ordered someone else around to do the gardening for her while she watched.
“We can go to the garden center later today, if you like. Then you can pick out the flowers you’d like to plant. Maybe after we get some lunch. What do you say? A girls’ lunch date and then some shopping?”
Rennie’s big blue eyes lit. “Awesome.”
“First, you need to be cleaned up and changed. Good Lord, I should just hose you off out here.”
Rennie squealed as Elise grabbed the nearby hose and gave her daughter a squirt. The squealing rose in volume and pitch as Rennie grabbed the watering can, tossing the contents at her mother.
“Oh, I’m gonna get even with you for that!”
Rennie hooted some smack-talk her way as she streaked through the freshly painted arbor over the opened backyard gate, her mother in hot pursuit.
Ben looked up from his bike and toward the noise across the way and then back over to Brody. “Dude, when did you get a new neighbor? I thought an elderly couple lived over there.”
Brody caught the sight of two females, one grown chasing a smaller one, laughing, water spraying from the hose. He smiled briefly at the idyllic scene and the flash of pale blonde hair as they rounded a corner. “Dunno. I noticed a new car in the driveway, but whoever they are I haven’t met them yet. Maybe a young family or something.”
