Command
Page 51
I loved this time with him. That feeling of being joined, and the connection of our souls, centred me and reminded me of how loved I was. It reminded me I had so many things to be thankful for. It also reminded me I wasn’t in my struggle alone.
“I’m scared,” I whispered, finally giving voice to my fear.
He turned his face and watched me silently for a moment. “Of losing the baby?”
I swallowed back the tears that threatened. I’d done enough crying over the past few months, I didn’t want to cry any more. “Yes.”
He shifted so he was facing me, our bodies chest-to-chest. Running his fingers through my hair, he said, “I know. But we’re going to do this together, Harlow. You’re going to keep talking to me about that fear, and I’m going to be here for you every step of the way. And no matter what happens, we’ll face it, and deal with it. Together. ”
His eyes searched mine, probably seeking some kind of acknowledgement that I would do this with him, and not shut him out again. I needed to give him that. I needed him to know I would never shut him out ever again.
I nodded, and then I gave him something I should have given him months ago. “Will you come with me to my next appointment with Jane? I want to talk this out with her and I think it would be good for both of us to be involved in that conversation.” I’d never asked him to attend any of my psychology appointments because I’d always felt like it was my problem and so I should deal with it myself. But I’d come a long way, and now I realised that my problems were Scott’s problems, too.
“I’ll be there,” he replied, and even though he’d only said three words, I knew those three words had deep meaning for him.
Leaning into him, I brushed a kiss across his lips. “Thank you.”
Hope soared in my heart. I was scared, but Scott helped empower me to believe I could get through this. We would get through this.
“Call me when you’re ready to be picked up,” Scott said after I kissed him goodbye later that morning. I had a hair appointment scheduled and he’d insisted on bringing me. Since the incidents with Rogue and Bourne, he’d hardly let me out of his sight and I figured making sure I got to my appointment safely was just another way for him to feel reassured of my safety. I would give him that; I’d give him whatever he needed because he gave me so much.
“I will, but won’t you be busy with the club today?”
“Only this morning. By the time you finish here, I’ll have time.”
“Okay, baby, I’ll see you then.”
He jerked his chin at Roxie’s shop, letting me know he’d wait for me to go inside. With one last kiss, I left him, loving the fact his eyes were on me as I walked away. Scott made me feel ten times the woman I was just by the way he loved me.
“Morning, beautiful,” Bobby greeted me as I pushed through the front door of the salon.
I loved Bobby, one of Roxie’s hairdressers. His sarcastic and over-the-top behaviour always made me smile. “Hey, Bobby. How’s your morning going?”
He rolled his eyes and gave me a flick of his wrist. “Don’t even go there, Harlow. I woke up this morning ready to take on the world and then the world took me on instead. I met the man of my dreams last night, took him home and showed him all the ways I could make his dreams come true, and then this morning, his ex messaged him to say he wanted him back. He sat in my bed and had a heart-to-fucking-heart with his ex and then promptly told me he had a great time with me, but he had to skip breakfast because he was now having it with his ex.” His eyes widened and he placed his hand on his hip. Waving his other hand in the air, he continued, “So, I promptly replied and told him to get the fuck out of my bed so I could torch my sheets, along with my memories of him.”
Poor Bobby. He always fell fast and hard, and I couldn’t keep track of the number of times he’d had his heart broken. “Better to find out now that he’s an ass, rather than down the track when you’re committed to him, right?”
He pursed his lips together as if he really wasn’t convinced. “I know you’re right, but hot damn, this guy had it . And it’s not often that comes along.”
“I hear you, Bobby, and I totally get it. I met a lot of guys with it , and in the end, it turned out to be a false promise. Keep looking; eventually the right man will sweep you off your feet.”
“Pfft, it’s easy enough for you to say that, when you’ve got the Coleminator warming your fucking bed. Just for the record, I would take that man any which way he comes.” He waved me away. “Roxie’s in the back room. You should go because I don’t want to look at that happy face of yours today.” And with that, he looked back down at the paperwork he was filling out, and proceeded to block me out.
I laughed. Leaning across the counter, I whispered, “FYI, I’m marrying the Coleminator. I’ll be sure to send you an invitation so you can drool.”
His eyes snapped to mine. Pointing to the back room where Roxie was, he bossed me. “Go! If I hear one more word about Scott Cole, I can not be held accountable for my actions.”
Roxie appeared in the doorway of the back room. Narrowing her eyes on Bobby, she said, “Is he whinging about that douche from last night again?”
“Yeah. Poor Bobby,” I replied as I walked past her into the small room.
“Poor Bobby?” She turned to face me and watched as I stored my handbag in a safe place. Crossing her arms over her chest, she said, “That man throws his heart at guys. He needs to get over that shit and start being more selective.”
“I’m scared,” I whispered, finally giving voice to my fear.
He turned his face and watched me silently for a moment. “Of losing the baby?”
I swallowed back the tears that threatened. I’d done enough crying over the past few months, I didn’t want to cry any more. “Yes.”
He shifted so he was facing me, our bodies chest-to-chest. Running his fingers through my hair, he said, “I know. But we’re going to do this together, Harlow. You’re going to keep talking to me about that fear, and I’m going to be here for you every step of the way. And no matter what happens, we’ll face it, and deal with it. Together. ”
His eyes searched mine, probably seeking some kind of acknowledgement that I would do this with him, and not shut him out again. I needed to give him that. I needed him to know I would never shut him out ever again.
I nodded, and then I gave him something I should have given him months ago. “Will you come with me to my next appointment with Jane? I want to talk this out with her and I think it would be good for both of us to be involved in that conversation.” I’d never asked him to attend any of my psychology appointments because I’d always felt like it was my problem and so I should deal with it myself. But I’d come a long way, and now I realised that my problems were Scott’s problems, too.
“I’ll be there,” he replied, and even though he’d only said three words, I knew those three words had deep meaning for him.
Leaning into him, I brushed a kiss across his lips. “Thank you.”
Hope soared in my heart. I was scared, but Scott helped empower me to believe I could get through this. We would get through this.
“Call me when you’re ready to be picked up,” Scott said after I kissed him goodbye later that morning. I had a hair appointment scheduled and he’d insisted on bringing me. Since the incidents with Rogue and Bourne, he’d hardly let me out of his sight and I figured making sure I got to my appointment safely was just another way for him to feel reassured of my safety. I would give him that; I’d give him whatever he needed because he gave me so much.
“I will, but won’t you be busy with the club today?”
“Only this morning. By the time you finish here, I’ll have time.”
“Okay, baby, I’ll see you then.”
He jerked his chin at Roxie’s shop, letting me know he’d wait for me to go inside. With one last kiss, I left him, loving the fact his eyes were on me as I walked away. Scott made me feel ten times the woman I was just by the way he loved me.
“Morning, beautiful,” Bobby greeted me as I pushed through the front door of the salon.
I loved Bobby, one of Roxie’s hairdressers. His sarcastic and over-the-top behaviour always made me smile. “Hey, Bobby. How’s your morning going?”
He rolled his eyes and gave me a flick of his wrist. “Don’t even go there, Harlow. I woke up this morning ready to take on the world and then the world took me on instead. I met the man of my dreams last night, took him home and showed him all the ways I could make his dreams come true, and then this morning, his ex messaged him to say he wanted him back. He sat in my bed and had a heart-to-fucking-heart with his ex and then promptly told me he had a great time with me, but he had to skip breakfast because he was now having it with his ex.” His eyes widened and he placed his hand on his hip. Waving his other hand in the air, he continued, “So, I promptly replied and told him to get the fuck out of my bed so I could torch my sheets, along with my memories of him.”
Poor Bobby. He always fell fast and hard, and I couldn’t keep track of the number of times he’d had his heart broken. “Better to find out now that he’s an ass, rather than down the track when you’re committed to him, right?”
He pursed his lips together as if he really wasn’t convinced. “I know you’re right, but hot damn, this guy had it . And it’s not often that comes along.”
“I hear you, Bobby, and I totally get it. I met a lot of guys with it , and in the end, it turned out to be a false promise. Keep looking; eventually the right man will sweep you off your feet.”
“Pfft, it’s easy enough for you to say that, when you’ve got the Coleminator warming your fucking bed. Just for the record, I would take that man any which way he comes.” He waved me away. “Roxie’s in the back room. You should go because I don’t want to look at that happy face of yours today.” And with that, he looked back down at the paperwork he was filling out, and proceeded to block me out.
I laughed. Leaning across the counter, I whispered, “FYI, I’m marrying the Coleminator. I’ll be sure to send you an invitation so you can drool.”
His eyes snapped to mine. Pointing to the back room where Roxie was, he bossed me. “Go! If I hear one more word about Scott Cole, I can not be held accountable for my actions.”
Roxie appeared in the doorway of the back room. Narrowing her eyes on Bobby, she said, “Is he whinging about that douche from last night again?”
“Yeah. Poor Bobby,” I replied as I walked past her into the small room.
“Poor Bobby?” She turned to face me and watched as I stored my handbag in a safe place. Crossing her arms over her chest, she said, “That man throws his heart at guys. He needs to get over that shit and start being more selective.”
