Convincing Alex
Page 53
He had seen it, and the pain of remembering what he'd seen clawed through him so that he stumbled to his feet as if to escape it. "She falls in love easily."
"So? There is love, and love. How many times have you taken the fall?"
"This is the first."
"For this kind, yes. There were others."
"They were different."
"Ah." Patient and amused, Mikhail held up a finger. "So it's okay for you to play with love until you find the truth, but it's not okay for Bess."
"It's—" Put that way, it was tough to argue with. Especially when his head was reeling. "Damn it, I was jealous. I have a right to be jealous."
"You have a right to make an ass of yourself, too."
Pleased, now that he knew it could be fixed, Mikhail lucked back and crossed his booted feet. "Did you?"
"Big-time." Alex swayed, then sat down heavily. "I was going to ask her to many me, Mik. I had the ring in my pocket and these stupid lilacs. I was scared to death she'd say yes. More scared that she'd say no." He propped his spinning head in his hands. "What the hell was she doing kissing that son of a bitch?"
"Maybe if you had asked nicely, she would have told you."
With a lopsided grin, Alex turned his bleary eyes on his brother. "Would you have asked nicely?"
"No, I would have broken his arms, maybe his legs, too. Then I would have asked." With a sigh, Mikhail patted Alex's shoulder. "But that is me. You were always more impulsive."
"We could go find him." Alex considered and, warming to the idea, leaned over to give Mikhail a sloppy hug. "We'll go beat him up together. Like old times."
"We'll try something different." Rising, Mikhail hauled Alex to his feet.
"Where we going?"
"I'm going to put you in a cold shower until your head's clear."
Alex staggered and linked an arm around his brother's neck. "What for?"
"So you can go find your woman and grovel."
Unsure of his footing, Alex stared at the tilting floor. "I don't wanna grovel."
"Yes, you do. It's best to get used to it before you marry her. I have more experience in this."
"Oh, yeah?" Enjoying the idea of his big brother crawling at Sydney's feet, he grinned as Mikhail thrust him, fully clothed, into the shower. "Can I watch next time?"
"No." With immense satisfaction, Mikhail turned the cold water on full and listened to his brother's pained shout bounce viciously on the tiles. "This is a very good start," he decided.
"You son of a bitch." They were both laughing when Alex grabbed Mikhail in a headlock and dragged him under the spray.
He was nearly sober by the time he walked into Bess's office, but he wasn't laughing. It was hard to laugh when your throat was thick with nerves.
He was going to be reasonable, he promised himself. They would discuss the entire matter like civilized adults. And if she didn't give him the right answers, he'd strangle her. He could always arrest himself afterward.
But he only saw Lori sitting at the keyboard, frantically typing. "I'll have the damn changes by six," she called out. Her brow was furrowed in concentration as she glanced up. Her eyes frosted over.
"What the hell do you want?"
"I need to see Bess."
"You're out of luck." Nobody hurt her friend and got away with it. Nobody. "She's not here."
"Where?"
She offered an anatomically impossible suggestion, offered it so coolly he nearly smiled. But it wasn't enough. She leapt up and slammed the door shut. Locked it. "Sit down, buster, I've got an earful for you."
"Tell me where she is."
"When hell freezes over. Do you know what you did to her?" She took the flat of her hand to push him back. "Why didn't you just cut her heart and slice it into little pieces while you were at it?"
"What I did?" He jammed his hands into his pockets so he wouldn't shove her back. "I'm the one who walked in and found her snuggled up to that pretty-faced playwright."
"You don't know what you found."
"Then why don't you tell me?"
She'd die first. "You don't know her at all, do you? You didn't have a clue how lucky you were. She's the most loving, most generous, most unselfish person I've ever known, She'd have crawled through broken glass for you." Afraid she'd do something violent if she didn't move, Lori began to pace. "I was so happy when she told me about you. I could see how much in love she was. Really in love. She wasn't just taking you under her wing until she could find someone for you."
"Find someone for me?"
"What do you think she did with all those other men who were dazzled by her?" Lori tossed back. "Oh, she'd try to talk herself into being in love, and thinking they loved her, back, and the whole time she'd listen to their problems like some den mother. Then she'd steer them in the direction of some woman she'd decided was perfect for them. She was usually right."
"She was going to marry—"
"She was never going to marry anyone. Whenever she said yes, it was because she couldn't bear to hurt anyone's feelings. And, okay, because she always wanted to have someone she could count on. But however loyal, however sensitive, she is to other people's feelings, she's not stupid. She'd tell herself she was going to get married, then she'd go into overdrive finding the guy a substitute."
"Substitute? Why—?" But Lori wasn't ready to let him get a word in.
"Not that she ever calculated it that way. But after you watched it happen a couple of times, you saw the pattern. But you…" She whirled back to him. "You broke the pat tern. She needed you. You made her cry." Angry tears glazed Lori's own eyes. "Not once did I ever see her cry over any man. She'd just slip seamlessly into the my-pal-Bess category, and everyone was happy. But she's cried buckets over you."
He felt sick, and small, and he was beginning to understand a great deal about groveling. "Tell me where she is. Please."
"Why the hell should I?"
"I love her."
She wanted to snarl at him for daring to say so, but she recognized the same misery in his eyes she'd seen in her friend's. "Charlie was—"
"So? There is love, and love. How many times have you taken the fall?"
"This is the first."
"For this kind, yes. There were others."
"They were different."
"Ah." Patient and amused, Mikhail held up a finger. "So it's okay for you to play with love until you find the truth, but it's not okay for Bess."
"It's—" Put that way, it was tough to argue with. Especially when his head was reeling. "Damn it, I was jealous. I have a right to be jealous."
"You have a right to make an ass of yourself, too."
Pleased, now that he knew it could be fixed, Mikhail lucked back and crossed his booted feet. "Did you?"
"Big-time." Alex swayed, then sat down heavily. "I was going to ask her to many me, Mik. I had the ring in my pocket and these stupid lilacs. I was scared to death she'd say yes. More scared that she'd say no." He propped his spinning head in his hands. "What the hell was she doing kissing that son of a bitch?"
"Maybe if you had asked nicely, she would have told you."
With a lopsided grin, Alex turned his bleary eyes on his brother. "Would you have asked nicely?"
"No, I would have broken his arms, maybe his legs, too. Then I would have asked." With a sigh, Mikhail patted Alex's shoulder. "But that is me. You were always more impulsive."
"We could go find him." Alex considered and, warming to the idea, leaned over to give Mikhail a sloppy hug. "We'll go beat him up together. Like old times."
"We'll try something different." Rising, Mikhail hauled Alex to his feet.
"Where we going?"
"I'm going to put you in a cold shower until your head's clear."
Alex staggered and linked an arm around his brother's neck. "What for?"
"So you can go find your woman and grovel."
Unsure of his footing, Alex stared at the tilting floor. "I don't wanna grovel."
"Yes, you do. It's best to get used to it before you marry her. I have more experience in this."
"Oh, yeah?" Enjoying the idea of his big brother crawling at Sydney's feet, he grinned as Mikhail thrust him, fully clothed, into the shower. "Can I watch next time?"
"No." With immense satisfaction, Mikhail turned the cold water on full and listened to his brother's pained shout bounce viciously on the tiles. "This is a very good start," he decided.
"You son of a bitch." They were both laughing when Alex grabbed Mikhail in a headlock and dragged him under the spray.
He was nearly sober by the time he walked into Bess's office, but he wasn't laughing. It was hard to laugh when your throat was thick with nerves.
He was going to be reasonable, he promised himself. They would discuss the entire matter like civilized adults. And if she didn't give him the right answers, he'd strangle her. He could always arrest himself afterward.
But he only saw Lori sitting at the keyboard, frantically typing. "I'll have the damn changes by six," she called out. Her brow was furrowed in concentration as she glanced up. Her eyes frosted over.
"What the hell do you want?"
"I need to see Bess."
"You're out of luck." Nobody hurt her friend and got away with it. Nobody. "She's not here."
"Where?"
She offered an anatomically impossible suggestion, offered it so coolly he nearly smiled. But it wasn't enough. She leapt up and slammed the door shut. Locked it. "Sit down, buster, I've got an earful for you."
"Tell me where she is."
"When hell freezes over. Do you know what you did to her?" She took the flat of her hand to push him back. "Why didn't you just cut her heart and slice it into little pieces while you were at it?"
"What I did?" He jammed his hands into his pockets so he wouldn't shove her back. "I'm the one who walked in and found her snuggled up to that pretty-faced playwright."
"You don't know what you found."
"Then why don't you tell me?"
She'd die first. "You don't know her at all, do you? You didn't have a clue how lucky you were. She's the most loving, most generous, most unselfish person I've ever known, She'd have crawled through broken glass for you." Afraid she'd do something violent if she didn't move, Lori began to pace. "I was so happy when she told me about you. I could see how much in love she was. Really in love. She wasn't just taking you under her wing until she could find someone for you."
"Find someone for me?"
"What do you think she did with all those other men who were dazzled by her?" Lori tossed back. "Oh, she'd try to talk herself into being in love, and thinking they loved her, back, and the whole time she'd listen to their problems like some den mother. Then she'd steer them in the direction of some woman she'd decided was perfect for them. She was usually right."
"She was going to marry—"
"She was never going to marry anyone. Whenever she said yes, it was because she couldn't bear to hurt anyone's feelings. And, okay, because she always wanted to have someone she could count on. But however loyal, however sensitive, she is to other people's feelings, she's not stupid. She'd tell herself she was going to get married, then she'd go into overdrive finding the guy a substitute."
"Substitute? Why—?" But Lori wasn't ready to let him get a word in.
"Not that she ever calculated it that way. But after you watched it happen a couple of times, you saw the pattern. But you…" She whirled back to him. "You broke the pat tern. She needed you. You made her cry." Angry tears glazed Lori's own eyes. "Not once did I ever see her cry over any man. She'd just slip seamlessly into the my-pal-Bess category, and everyone was happy. But she's cried buckets over you."
He felt sick, and small, and he was beginning to understand a great deal about groveling. "Tell me where she is. Please."
"Why the hell should I?"
"I love her."
She wanted to snarl at him for daring to say so, but she recognized the same misery in his eyes she'd seen in her friend's. "Charlie was—"
