Count on Me
Page 76
“I have a good life. My business is doing well, and that means I’ve managed to start pulling the farm into the next century. I have nice friends to hang out with. A house that fits me. I dated around and enjoyed things physically when an opportunity arose, and I wanted to accept it.”
Caroline growled and he snickered.
“So I had no complaints. I was happy and centered and successful, and then you. I turned my head and I saw you in the grocery store. I watched you contemplate just how you were going to get that box down, and it was like, wow, there’s a whole deeper kind of happy. Because I thought about you all the time until we finally managed to run into each other again—mainly because I was coming to town daily.”
“Thank goodness. I do like a go-getter.”
“And there was this connection. I tried to tell myself it was the newness of it. But I’ve dated before. Enough to know the difference between new-relationship excitement and this fifty-foot-high series of deep ocean waves that came with you. Exhilarating, that’s what it is. You’re powerful and you have so much energy and it’s terrifying and sexy all at once. Knowing you’ll be what I see when I wake up each day makes me happy.”
He went quiet as she lay there, happiness coursing through her, a smile on her lips.
“You make me happy, Caro. In a way that I wasn’t craving because I had no idea it even existed until you.”
“I’m pretty lucky you love me.” She rested her leg on him to touch more, be closer. She was lucky.
“You’ve been having a time of it. You okay?”
She blew out a breath. “This is all so overwhelming, and yet here you are, helping me through, making me believe I can do it.”
“You have been doing it. For over a decade before I came into your life.”
“Like I said, it’s different now. All the stuff I’ve learned how to do isn’t as useful at this point. I’m not a cop or an investigator. Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning in all this. I’m scared I’ll mess up. Scared of whoever it is out there who wants to hurt me.” That was the worst part. She hated being scared, and she’d gotten used to plowing through the world without fear. And in a matter of months, everything in her life had changed. Some, like the long, tall handsome man next to her, were good changes.
Being scared made her feel helpless.
So many aspects of this new reality with her mother’s murder were not only out of her hands, but something she just didn’t have enough of a handle on to feel super confident about.
She wasn’t a wait-and-see sort of person. But now she had to be, and on top of that, she had this creepy-stalker deal going on.
“Point taken. Things are different, yes. This isn’t a legal-system issue. You’re a rock star there, so I can understand why the shift is distressing. But you’re doing everything you can. Your friends are doing all they can. You have allies here at the Petal PD and over in Millersburg too.”
“I’m trying to keep it all copacetic. Trying to remember I can’t control everything, and that people who are awesome at their jobs are helping. Most of the time it works. Right now so much is happening, and I’m so glad I took this afternoon off with you because I really needed to let go of all that out there and focus on what’s in here. This is the most relaxed I’ve been in a while. I can’t hide forever. I have stuff I really need to think about but not right at this moment.”
“Good answer. Do you see how it works out when you just listen to me and do what I say?”
She closed her eyes. “I guess I should listen to you more often. I’d much rather be here than in court. It’s way harder to have an orgasm there.”
He snorted. “Since I’m nowhere near the courthouse ninety-nine point nine percent of the time, I’m fine with that.”
Caroline said, “By the way, we’re going bowling tonight.”
Royal groaned. “See this was going really well until you brought that up. I thought you liked spending alone time with me.”
“Hush you. You know I do. But you have this longstanding thing you do with your friends and that’s tonight, and I’m trying to get to know them all too so I’m coming along.”
“I want you safe, damn it.”
“I can’t hide in your house all the time. Not that the constant sex isn’t a wonderful way to spend my time, but I have friends and family and so do you. We have lives here in Petal, and we’re also building one as a couple. I want to be safe too, believe me. But I’m not just going to stop living because this freak is out there. I’m panicked he’ll run for it, so I need to stay somewhat visible so he’ll keep trying until we get enough info we find out who he is and he gets arrested.”
He sat straight up. “You are out of your mind. No. No, Caroline! Let the authorities handle this. This isn’t a television show. This is way out of your area of expertise.”
She gave him a look. “The only reason I didn’t just punch you in the throat is that you’re scared and so am I so you can have some slack. Of course this isn’t a television show. I’m not an idiot.”
“You need to not take stupid risks. You need to tell Shane what you’re doing so he can make you stop this.”
“Stop treating me like I’m stupid. I’m not outside wearing a bull’s-eye calling out, you hoooo, mr. murderer or anything.”
“You don’t get to be mad at me for being freaked.” He narrowed his gaze at her and her anger sort of drained away.
Caroline growled and he snickered.
“So I had no complaints. I was happy and centered and successful, and then you. I turned my head and I saw you in the grocery store. I watched you contemplate just how you were going to get that box down, and it was like, wow, there’s a whole deeper kind of happy. Because I thought about you all the time until we finally managed to run into each other again—mainly because I was coming to town daily.”
“Thank goodness. I do like a go-getter.”
“And there was this connection. I tried to tell myself it was the newness of it. But I’ve dated before. Enough to know the difference between new-relationship excitement and this fifty-foot-high series of deep ocean waves that came with you. Exhilarating, that’s what it is. You’re powerful and you have so much energy and it’s terrifying and sexy all at once. Knowing you’ll be what I see when I wake up each day makes me happy.”
He went quiet as she lay there, happiness coursing through her, a smile on her lips.
“You make me happy, Caro. In a way that I wasn’t craving because I had no idea it even existed until you.”
“I’m pretty lucky you love me.” She rested her leg on him to touch more, be closer. She was lucky.
“You’ve been having a time of it. You okay?”
She blew out a breath. “This is all so overwhelming, and yet here you are, helping me through, making me believe I can do it.”
“You have been doing it. For over a decade before I came into your life.”
“Like I said, it’s different now. All the stuff I’ve learned how to do isn’t as useful at this point. I’m not a cop or an investigator. Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning in all this. I’m scared I’ll mess up. Scared of whoever it is out there who wants to hurt me.” That was the worst part. She hated being scared, and she’d gotten used to plowing through the world without fear. And in a matter of months, everything in her life had changed. Some, like the long, tall handsome man next to her, were good changes.
Being scared made her feel helpless.
So many aspects of this new reality with her mother’s murder were not only out of her hands, but something she just didn’t have enough of a handle on to feel super confident about.
She wasn’t a wait-and-see sort of person. But now she had to be, and on top of that, she had this creepy-stalker deal going on.
“Point taken. Things are different, yes. This isn’t a legal-system issue. You’re a rock star there, so I can understand why the shift is distressing. But you’re doing everything you can. Your friends are doing all they can. You have allies here at the Petal PD and over in Millersburg too.”
“I’m trying to keep it all copacetic. Trying to remember I can’t control everything, and that people who are awesome at their jobs are helping. Most of the time it works. Right now so much is happening, and I’m so glad I took this afternoon off with you because I really needed to let go of all that out there and focus on what’s in here. This is the most relaxed I’ve been in a while. I can’t hide forever. I have stuff I really need to think about but not right at this moment.”
“Good answer. Do you see how it works out when you just listen to me and do what I say?”
She closed her eyes. “I guess I should listen to you more often. I’d much rather be here than in court. It’s way harder to have an orgasm there.”
He snorted. “Since I’m nowhere near the courthouse ninety-nine point nine percent of the time, I’m fine with that.”
Caroline said, “By the way, we’re going bowling tonight.”
Royal groaned. “See this was going really well until you brought that up. I thought you liked spending alone time with me.”
“Hush you. You know I do. But you have this longstanding thing you do with your friends and that’s tonight, and I’m trying to get to know them all too so I’m coming along.”
“I want you safe, damn it.”
“I can’t hide in your house all the time. Not that the constant sex isn’t a wonderful way to spend my time, but I have friends and family and so do you. We have lives here in Petal, and we’re also building one as a couple. I want to be safe too, believe me. But I’m not just going to stop living because this freak is out there. I’m panicked he’ll run for it, so I need to stay somewhat visible so he’ll keep trying until we get enough info we find out who he is and he gets arrested.”
He sat straight up. “You are out of your mind. No. No, Caroline! Let the authorities handle this. This isn’t a television show. This is way out of your area of expertise.”
She gave him a look. “The only reason I didn’t just punch you in the throat is that you’re scared and so am I so you can have some slack. Of course this isn’t a television show. I’m not an idiot.”
“You need to not take stupid risks. You need to tell Shane what you’re doing so he can make you stop this.”
“Stop treating me like I’m stupid. I’m not outside wearing a bull’s-eye calling out, you hoooo, mr. murderer or anything.”
“You don’t get to be mad at me for being freaked.” He narrowed his gaze at her and her anger sort of drained away.
