Craving Absolution
Page 40
“I am not fucking playing with you, Farrah,” he enunciated clearly. “Get your shit or I’m taking you without it. I don’t give a fuck if you spend the entire time wrapped in your fucking quilt because you don’t have any makeup.”
I inhaled sharply at the low blow. Using my odd need for things to look just right against me wasn’t even a little bit okay. I wanted to argue with him, be a bitch and make him pack my things himself, but I caught myself just before I did something stupid. I’d known there was something going on, but it took me a moment to catch the inflections in Cody’s voice instead of just the words.
He wasn’t being a dick.
He was scared, and that scared me, so I sucked up my attitude.
“I have a suitcase under the bed,” I told him quietly, walking forward to wrap my arms around his waist. I hadn’t seen him for days, and before we left the house and our lives became a complete clusterfuck, I needed to feel him. Just for a second.
“I’ll get that, you get all your shit,” he said, kissing my head. He ran his hands up my arms and around my neck as he tipped my face to his. “Hurry, Ladybug.”
We packed in record time, with Cameron helping me put all my toiletries into separate ziplock bags. He grumbled about it, but I think he was glad to have something to do. All of his things were at the club now, mostly clothes that the old ladies had pitched in and bought him. If Tommy was helping with anything, I hadn’t heard about it, and it pissed me off. I liked the fact that Cameron came over to hang out, but was concerned that he felt the need to spend time away from his only surviving family member. Something wasn’t right there.
It took us about twenty minutes before we were out on the road, Cody leading the way to the club with Cameron and me riding in my car. Gram had been staying with Callie, and apparently Grease was making sure they got to the club too. I hoped that they were there before I was. The entire situation was scary, not only packing and leaving in the middle of the night, but also the fact that I was going to be surrounded by people who didn’t like me. I needed to know my family was safe, and I wanted them with me.
My hands shook and grew sweaty on the steering wheel as the guy at the gate checked inside my car and trunk with a flashlight. It didn’t even matter that I was the president’s daughter and had Cameron with me, he still checked everywhere. By the time we parked in the grass to the side of the club building, I could feel sweat gathering on my top lip. Really fucking attractive. I’d never been so glad for the tissues I kept in my glove box, even if Cameron was looking at me like I was crazy as I blotted my face.
I popped my trunk open and took a deep breath before climbing out of the car. I could do this; I just needed to stay near my family and I’d be fine. Piece of cake. Cameron flew out the door as soon as I stood up and disappeared into the darkness, and I almost jumped out of my skin as Cody came up behind me.
“You’re staying in my room,” he informed me, pulling my suitcase out of the trunk. “I know you’re freaked out, but you’re with me and you’ve got Grease too. No one’s going to mess with you.”
I nodded, taking a deep breath as we made our way through the tall grass. I could see Brenna and Dragon’s house in the distance, every window lit up, despite the late hour. Their lives had been interrupted too, even though they lived in the compound.
The thought made me pause. Is this really the life I wanted? Running out of the house in the dark, frantically choosing what I could stand to lose? What if we had kids? I’d have to hustle them out of their beds, scare them.
Before I realized it, we were walking into a massive room with a bar on one side, and couches and a pool table on the other. A bunch of adults and kids were talking in quiet voices around the room as women laid out sleeping bag after sleeping bag on the floor. I scanned the place, looking for Gram or Callie, and after a few seconds I saw them walking out of what seemed to be a hallway off the back wall.
“There’s Gram,” I told Cody with a tilt of my head. No one had noticed us yet, and I was afraid if I pointed or looked too closely at the other occupants of the room, someone would realize we’d walked in.
“Wonder where Gram’s staying tonight?” Cody murmured.
He grabbed my hand and pulled me through the room as I kept my chin high and my eyes on his back. I wasn’t going to cower, fuck that, but I refused to see the look on people’s faces when they recognized me.
“Oh, Farrah! Thank God you’re here,” Gram exclaimed, pulling me into her arms. “All my babies are in one place.”
“Hey, Gram,” I murmured into her hair. Just the smell of her calmed me down.
“Where are you sleeping?” Cody asked.
“Oh, Poet says I can sleep in his bed,” Gram replied, and Cody began to sputter. “Oh, get your mind out of the gutter. He’s sleeping on his daughter’s couch.”
I laughed a little at the relief on Cody’s face.
“Hope you cleaned that fucking disaster you call a room, brother,” Grease commented, pulling our attention from Gram to see him standing with one arm around Callie’s shoulders. “Farrah’s gonna leave your ass, you expect her to sleep in it.”
My nose wrinkled at the thought of Cody having a messy bedroom. I couldn’t imagine it, but my head snapped up to stare at him when he replied.
“Had April clean the shit while I was gone.” His hand squeezed mine, but I couldn’t read his expression.
I inhaled sharply at the low blow. Using my odd need for things to look just right against me wasn’t even a little bit okay. I wanted to argue with him, be a bitch and make him pack my things himself, but I caught myself just before I did something stupid. I’d known there was something going on, but it took me a moment to catch the inflections in Cody’s voice instead of just the words.
He wasn’t being a dick.
He was scared, and that scared me, so I sucked up my attitude.
“I have a suitcase under the bed,” I told him quietly, walking forward to wrap my arms around his waist. I hadn’t seen him for days, and before we left the house and our lives became a complete clusterfuck, I needed to feel him. Just for a second.
“I’ll get that, you get all your shit,” he said, kissing my head. He ran his hands up my arms and around my neck as he tipped my face to his. “Hurry, Ladybug.”
We packed in record time, with Cameron helping me put all my toiletries into separate ziplock bags. He grumbled about it, but I think he was glad to have something to do. All of his things were at the club now, mostly clothes that the old ladies had pitched in and bought him. If Tommy was helping with anything, I hadn’t heard about it, and it pissed me off. I liked the fact that Cameron came over to hang out, but was concerned that he felt the need to spend time away from his only surviving family member. Something wasn’t right there.
It took us about twenty minutes before we were out on the road, Cody leading the way to the club with Cameron and me riding in my car. Gram had been staying with Callie, and apparently Grease was making sure they got to the club too. I hoped that they were there before I was. The entire situation was scary, not only packing and leaving in the middle of the night, but also the fact that I was going to be surrounded by people who didn’t like me. I needed to know my family was safe, and I wanted them with me.
My hands shook and grew sweaty on the steering wheel as the guy at the gate checked inside my car and trunk with a flashlight. It didn’t even matter that I was the president’s daughter and had Cameron with me, he still checked everywhere. By the time we parked in the grass to the side of the club building, I could feel sweat gathering on my top lip. Really fucking attractive. I’d never been so glad for the tissues I kept in my glove box, even if Cameron was looking at me like I was crazy as I blotted my face.
I popped my trunk open and took a deep breath before climbing out of the car. I could do this; I just needed to stay near my family and I’d be fine. Piece of cake. Cameron flew out the door as soon as I stood up and disappeared into the darkness, and I almost jumped out of my skin as Cody came up behind me.
“You’re staying in my room,” he informed me, pulling my suitcase out of the trunk. “I know you’re freaked out, but you’re with me and you’ve got Grease too. No one’s going to mess with you.”
I nodded, taking a deep breath as we made our way through the tall grass. I could see Brenna and Dragon’s house in the distance, every window lit up, despite the late hour. Their lives had been interrupted too, even though they lived in the compound.
The thought made me pause. Is this really the life I wanted? Running out of the house in the dark, frantically choosing what I could stand to lose? What if we had kids? I’d have to hustle them out of their beds, scare them.
Before I realized it, we were walking into a massive room with a bar on one side, and couches and a pool table on the other. A bunch of adults and kids were talking in quiet voices around the room as women laid out sleeping bag after sleeping bag on the floor. I scanned the place, looking for Gram or Callie, and after a few seconds I saw them walking out of what seemed to be a hallway off the back wall.
“There’s Gram,” I told Cody with a tilt of my head. No one had noticed us yet, and I was afraid if I pointed or looked too closely at the other occupants of the room, someone would realize we’d walked in.
“Wonder where Gram’s staying tonight?” Cody murmured.
He grabbed my hand and pulled me through the room as I kept my chin high and my eyes on his back. I wasn’t going to cower, fuck that, but I refused to see the look on people’s faces when they recognized me.
“Oh, Farrah! Thank God you’re here,” Gram exclaimed, pulling me into her arms. “All my babies are in one place.”
“Hey, Gram,” I murmured into her hair. Just the smell of her calmed me down.
“Where are you sleeping?” Cody asked.
“Oh, Poet says I can sleep in his bed,” Gram replied, and Cody began to sputter. “Oh, get your mind out of the gutter. He’s sleeping on his daughter’s couch.”
I laughed a little at the relief on Cody’s face.
“Hope you cleaned that fucking disaster you call a room, brother,” Grease commented, pulling our attention from Gram to see him standing with one arm around Callie’s shoulders. “Farrah’s gonna leave your ass, you expect her to sleep in it.”
My nose wrinkled at the thought of Cody having a messy bedroom. I couldn’t imagine it, but my head snapped up to stare at him when he replied.
“Had April clean the shit while I was gone.” His hand squeezed mine, but I couldn’t read his expression.
