Craving Absolution
Page 46
We stayed quiet most of the ride; I was nervous and Cody was concentrating on our surroundings. But as we passed the Sutherlin city limits sign, he finally spoke.
“You’re gonna like my aunt Lily, Ladybug. She’s a lot like Gram. Quieter, though.” He reached over and laced his fingers through mine, finally relaxing a little.
“I just wish we weren’t potentially bringing shit to her doorstep.” I sighed. “The fucked-up part of this whole thing is I didn’t even do anything. She fucking cornered me in your room. I didn’t have a choice.”
“You want to talk about it?” he asked. “I feel like I’m missing a big part of whatever the hell is going on.”
I took a deep breath and gave him the CliffsNotes version of Vera’s visit as we pulled onto a back road and started up a mile-long driveway, but I left out the memories of my mom. It was enough for him to know what Slider and Vera had done or hadn’t done; the filth that my mom had filled my head with wasn’t something I wanted to discuss. I wasn’t sure that he would get it, how much worse it was for me that they’d taken care of me and then pretended I’d never existed, but he did.
“That’s fucked up! They just gave up?” he asked with a scowl as we rolled to a stop.
“Apparently. I guess there’s just something about me. I can’t seem to keep a parent’s interest for any length of time,” I told him with a droll smile as I unbuckled my seat belt.
“That’s bullshit, Farrah,” he replied, gripping my leg when I turned to open my door. “There isn’t one thing wrong with you, baby. That’s their fuckup, you know that, right? It doesn’t have a goddamn thing to do with you.”
The intensity in his voice had my throat clogging with tears, and I reached up to gently lay my hand on his cheek. “I love you,” I told him for the first time.
He swallowed hard and leaned toward me, but our little moment was interrupted by the unmistakable sound of someone pumping a shotgun.
“State your business!” yelled a little old lady holding the gun just feet from the front of my car.
Cody rolled down his window, leaving his other hand clenching my thigh. “Aunt Lil, it’s me, Cody!”
“Cody!” she cried in delight, letting the shotgun fall to rest against her side. “Well, what the hell are you doing sitting in the car? Come on in!”
His smile was huge as he opened his door and stepped into the overcast day, and I watched in astonishment as he wrapped his arms around the small woman’s waist and spun her around. She was still holding the shotgun as they spun, and I ducked down behind the dash as their revolution pointed it toward me.
“What the fuck is this, the Wild West?” I grumbled, climbing out of the car when they were done spinning.
“Farrah!” Lily smiled as I made my way toward them. “My little sister has told me so much about you, darlin’! I didn’t mean to scare ya, but Rose let me know what was going on and I couldn’t see who was in the car. Come in! Come in! I’ve got dinner on the stove.”
“How were you planning on shooting someone if you can’t see them?” I asked conversationally as we walked up the porch steps.
“Oh, honey, you just need the general vicinity with a shotgun. Got some bird shot in this baby,” she said as we stepped inside and she set the gun against the wall. “Get close enough and you can spray the shit outta someone.” She winked and turned toward the kitchen, leaving me with my mouth hanging open.
“I thought you said she was the quiet one!” I grumbled to Cody as he came in the front door, carrying my things.
“Said my eyesight’s bad, not my hearing!” Lily singsonged from the kitchen, making Cody burst into laughter as my face burned in mortification.
I clenched my jaw and straightened my shoulders as I followed Lily into the kitchen, ignoring Cody as he walked my suitcase down a hallway off the left side of the entryway. I was having a hell of a time keeping my guard up; there had been too many things happening in the last week. I was off-kilter. I needed to get my shit together, starting now.
“So, you’re old,” I called out to Lily, trying to rile her as I made my way to the island separating the kitchen from the dining room. “You have your medical marijuana card?”
“Hell, no. I’m not that decrepit,” she replied, turning to face me.
“Bummer.”
“Said I didn’t have a card, didn’t say I didn’t have weed,” she told me with a small smirk.
“Hell yeah, mama! Hook us up!”
“Are you trying to corrupt my auntie?” Cody asked, startling me as he stepped in against my back and leaned his hands on the countertop on each side of me.
“I think it may be the other way around.”
“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” he mumbled into my neck, giving me a soft kiss there.
“Lily? Farrah?” I heard Gram call from the front of the house.
“In here, Rose!”
God, those old ladies had a set of lungs on them.
“Everything go okay?” Gram asked breathlessly as she shuffled into the kitchen.
“Yep, no problems. What about you guys?” Cody replied as Gram walked around the island to give Lily a hug.
“No problems,” Grease answered, setting down Gram’s bags in the kitchen doorway. “Didn’t see shit.”
“Asa, this is my sister Lily. Lily, this is Callie’s man,” Gram said by way of introduction.
“You’re gonna like my aunt Lily, Ladybug. She’s a lot like Gram. Quieter, though.” He reached over and laced his fingers through mine, finally relaxing a little.
“I just wish we weren’t potentially bringing shit to her doorstep.” I sighed. “The fucked-up part of this whole thing is I didn’t even do anything. She fucking cornered me in your room. I didn’t have a choice.”
“You want to talk about it?” he asked. “I feel like I’m missing a big part of whatever the hell is going on.”
I took a deep breath and gave him the CliffsNotes version of Vera’s visit as we pulled onto a back road and started up a mile-long driveway, but I left out the memories of my mom. It was enough for him to know what Slider and Vera had done or hadn’t done; the filth that my mom had filled my head with wasn’t something I wanted to discuss. I wasn’t sure that he would get it, how much worse it was for me that they’d taken care of me and then pretended I’d never existed, but he did.
“That’s fucked up! They just gave up?” he asked with a scowl as we rolled to a stop.
“Apparently. I guess there’s just something about me. I can’t seem to keep a parent’s interest for any length of time,” I told him with a droll smile as I unbuckled my seat belt.
“That’s bullshit, Farrah,” he replied, gripping my leg when I turned to open my door. “There isn’t one thing wrong with you, baby. That’s their fuckup, you know that, right? It doesn’t have a goddamn thing to do with you.”
The intensity in his voice had my throat clogging with tears, and I reached up to gently lay my hand on his cheek. “I love you,” I told him for the first time.
He swallowed hard and leaned toward me, but our little moment was interrupted by the unmistakable sound of someone pumping a shotgun.
“State your business!” yelled a little old lady holding the gun just feet from the front of my car.
Cody rolled down his window, leaving his other hand clenching my thigh. “Aunt Lil, it’s me, Cody!”
“Cody!” she cried in delight, letting the shotgun fall to rest against her side. “Well, what the hell are you doing sitting in the car? Come on in!”
His smile was huge as he opened his door and stepped into the overcast day, and I watched in astonishment as he wrapped his arms around the small woman’s waist and spun her around. She was still holding the shotgun as they spun, and I ducked down behind the dash as their revolution pointed it toward me.
“What the fuck is this, the Wild West?” I grumbled, climbing out of the car when they were done spinning.
“Farrah!” Lily smiled as I made my way toward them. “My little sister has told me so much about you, darlin’! I didn’t mean to scare ya, but Rose let me know what was going on and I couldn’t see who was in the car. Come in! Come in! I’ve got dinner on the stove.”
“How were you planning on shooting someone if you can’t see them?” I asked conversationally as we walked up the porch steps.
“Oh, honey, you just need the general vicinity with a shotgun. Got some bird shot in this baby,” she said as we stepped inside and she set the gun against the wall. “Get close enough and you can spray the shit outta someone.” She winked and turned toward the kitchen, leaving me with my mouth hanging open.
“I thought you said she was the quiet one!” I grumbled to Cody as he came in the front door, carrying my things.
“Said my eyesight’s bad, not my hearing!” Lily singsonged from the kitchen, making Cody burst into laughter as my face burned in mortification.
I clenched my jaw and straightened my shoulders as I followed Lily into the kitchen, ignoring Cody as he walked my suitcase down a hallway off the left side of the entryway. I was having a hell of a time keeping my guard up; there had been too many things happening in the last week. I was off-kilter. I needed to get my shit together, starting now.
“So, you’re old,” I called out to Lily, trying to rile her as I made my way to the island separating the kitchen from the dining room. “You have your medical marijuana card?”
“Hell, no. I’m not that decrepit,” she replied, turning to face me.
“Bummer.”
“Said I didn’t have a card, didn’t say I didn’t have weed,” she told me with a small smirk.
“Hell yeah, mama! Hook us up!”
“Are you trying to corrupt my auntie?” Cody asked, startling me as he stepped in against my back and leaned his hands on the countertop on each side of me.
“I think it may be the other way around.”
“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” he mumbled into my neck, giving me a soft kiss there.
“Lily? Farrah?” I heard Gram call from the front of the house.
“In here, Rose!”
God, those old ladies had a set of lungs on them.
“Everything go okay?” Gram asked breathlessly as she shuffled into the kitchen.
“Yep, no problems. What about you guys?” Cody replied as Gram walked around the island to give Lily a hug.
“No problems,” Grease answered, setting down Gram’s bags in the kitchen doorway. “Didn’t see shit.”
“Asa, this is my sister Lily. Lily, this is Callie’s man,” Gram said by way of introduction.
