Craving Absolution
Page 68
“Lay back down and I’ll show you,” he’d ordered, unbuttoning his jeans and shoving them down his legs.
I didn’t know how he expected me to lie back down when he was giving me a personal strip show. He walked around the far edge of the bed and crawled in beside me, leaning up on one elbow until he was hovering over me, the bandage on his chest right in front of my face.
“Take it off, baby.”
“God, I’ve been waiting to hear those words for freaking months,” I teased, watching his mouth pull up on one side in a small grin.
I reached up, feeling proud of myself that I’d made him smile, and gently pulled the tape that held the bright white bandage to his skin. When the tattoo came into focus, at first it looked like scribbly lines. I must have looked confused as hell, because he began to explain.
“The top tattoo is your heartbeat,” he said quietly, making my breath hitch in my throat. “I marked the little paper they had hooked to your monitor when you were out, so I knew what part I wanted to use. I didn’t really need it, though, your heart sped up whenever I started talking to you, so even if I wouldn’t have marked it, I still would have known what piece I wanted.”
I reached up to ghost my finger over the tattoo, careful not to touch it. My heartbeat.
“The one on the bottom is our baby girl’s from when we had the ultrasound.”
My finger ghosted over that one too, but I still couldn’t find anything to say.
“They’re patching me in tomorrow, and I’ll be on the chair for fucking hours getting my back tat, but I wanted yours to be there first.”
He had leaned down to kiss my lips, sliding his tongue into my mouth before pulling back again. “You come first, Ladybug, you and our children. Always.”
• • •
I smiled at that memory as I snuggled in as close as I could. Cody lay down on his back next to me, pulling the covers over us both.
“Don’t leave without waking me up, okay?” I whispered, wrapping my arm around his waist. “I don’t like waking up with you gone.”
He tightened his arm, understanding the meaning beneath my words. “I’m not going anywhere, baby,” he promised.
I fell asleep knowing that I’d wake up with him beside me, but I was under no illusion that he’d always be there.
Chapter 37
Farrah
The last week had been brutal. I was ornery, pissed off, and had a six-pound baby pushing on my bladder about ninety percent of the time, which meant most of my days and nights were spent on the toilet. I was done, done, done with being pregnant.
Don’t get me wrong, I was happy as hell that the little nugget was sticking in there, waiting until she was fully ready before she made her appearance . . . but come on. It was time for her to vacate the premises. Like, yesterday. My due date was only three days away, and I was doing anything and everything I could to get her out.
I dragged Cameron with me all over the neighborhood, walking for hours until I felt like I couldn’t take one more step. I ate the spiciest food I could stomach, which did nothing but give me righteous heartburn that kept me awake all night. I’d even tried using castor oil to get things started. After sitting on the toilet for hours, I wouldn’t recommend that to anyone.
I was finally at the end of my rope, and I was taking it out on Cody. He had something I wanted.
“Fuck me,” I demanded the minute he walked through the door that night.
“What?”
“Fuck me. Get undressed and meet me in the bedroom.” I pulled at the elastic top of my strapless sundress and dropped it to the floor, leaving me in nothing but a pair of panties that had covered a whole lot more of my ass a few months ago.
He stared at me, dumbfounded, as his gaze roamed over my body, and he was silent and immobile for so long that I began to get really irritated.
“Strip!” I snapped.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
“Are you joking?” I asked in annoyance. “Hello? I’m practically naked, let’s go!”
When he still didn’t move, I strode toward him, my huge belly bouncing with each step. “Okay, I guess you can stay mostly dressed,” I conceded. “We just need to unbutton your—”
He grabbed my hands in a tight grip as I reached for his jeans, and the pressure on my fingers had my head snapping up in surprise.
“Stop, Farrah! Fuck!”
“What is wrong with you?” I screeched, yanking my hands out of his. “You haven’t touched me in months! Is it because of this?” I gestured to my belly. “Because seriously, dude. You put that in there, so you can just deal with it for a couple more weeks!”
“You’re beautiful, Ladybug,” he answered calmly. “More beautiful than ever.”
My breath caught in my throat, and I could have screamed in frustration when I felt tears start falling down my cheeks. “Then what’s wrong?”
“Nothing, nothing’s wrong.”
“Then touch me. Please. I’ve tried everything. Nothing is getting her out of there!” I started sniffling, my words coming out garbled. “The doctor said sex might work. Please, Cody.”
I’d been reduced to begging the man I was living with to have sex with me.
“You want me to fuck you so you’ll go into labor?” he asked incredulously, reaching for the button on his jeans. “Well, shit, I’ll just drop my pants and you can go to fucking town then!”
I didn’t know how he expected me to lie back down when he was giving me a personal strip show. He walked around the far edge of the bed and crawled in beside me, leaning up on one elbow until he was hovering over me, the bandage on his chest right in front of my face.
“Take it off, baby.”
“God, I’ve been waiting to hear those words for freaking months,” I teased, watching his mouth pull up on one side in a small grin.
I reached up, feeling proud of myself that I’d made him smile, and gently pulled the tape that held the bright white bandage to his skin. When the tattoo came into focus, at first it looked like scribbly lines. I must have looked confused as hell, because he began to explain.
“The top tattoo is your heartbeat,” he said quietly, making my breath hitch in my throat. “I marked the little paper they had hooked to your monitor when you were out, so I knew what part I wanted to use. I didn’t really need it, though, your heart sped up whenever I started talking to you, so even if I wouldn’t have marked it, I still would have known what piece I wanted.”
I reached up to ghost my finger over the tattoo, careful not to touch it. My heartbeat.
“The one on the bottom is our baby girl’s from when we had the ultrasound.”
My finger ghosted over that one too, but I still couldn’t find anything to say.
“They’re patching me in tomorrow, and I’ll be on the chair for fucking hours getting my back tat, but I wanted yours to be there first.”
He had leaned down to kiss my lips, sliding his tongue into my mouth before pulling back again. “You come first, Ladybug, you and our children. Always.”
• • •
I smiled at that memory as I snuggled in as close as I could. Cody lay down on his back next to me, pulling the covers over us both.
“Don’t leave without waking me up, okay?” I whispered, wrapping my arm around his waist. “I don’t like waking up with you gone.”
He tightened his arm, understanding the meaning beneath my words. “I’m not going anywhere, baby,” he promised.
I fell asleep knowing that I’d wake up with him beside me, but I was under no illusion that he’d always be there.
Chapter 37
Farrah
The last week had been brutal. I was ornery, pissed off, and had a six-pound baby pushing on my bladder about ninety percent of the time, which meant most of my days and nights were spent on the toilet. I was done, done, done with being pregnant.
Don’t get me wrong, I was happy as hell that the little nugget was sticking in there, waiting until she was fully ready before she made her appearance . . . but come on. It was time for her to vacate the premises. Like, yesterday. My due date was only three days away, and I was doing anything and everything I could to get her out.
I dragged Cameron with me all over the neighborhood, walking for hours until I felt like I couldn’t take one more step. I ate the spiciest food I could stomach, which did nothing but give me righteous heartburn that kept me awake all night. I’d even tried using castor oil to get things started. After sitting on the toilet for hours, I wouldn’t recommend that to anyone.
I was finally at the end of my rope, and I was taking it out on Cody. He had something I wanted.
“Fuck me,” I demanded the minute he walked through the door that night.
“What?”
“Fuck me. Get undressed and meet me in the bedroom.” I pulled at the elastic top of my strapless sundress and dropped it to the floor, leaving me in nothing but a pair of panties that had covered a whole lot more of my ass a few months ago.
He stared at me, dumbfounded, as his gaze roamed over my body, and he was silent and immobile for so long that I began to get really irritated.
“Strip!” I snapped.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
“Are you joking?” I asked in annoyance. “Hello? I’m practically naked, let’s go!”
When he still didn’t move, I strode toward him, my huge belly bouncing with each step. “Okay, I guess you can stay mostly dressed,” I conceded. “We just need to unbutton your—”
He grabbed my hands in a tight grip as I reached for his jeans, and the pressure on my fingers had my head snapping up in surprise.
“Stop, Farrah! Fuck!”
“What is wrong with you?” I screeched, yanking my hands out of his. “You haven’t touched me in months! Is it because of this?” I gestured to my belly. “Because seriously, dude. You put that in there, so you can just deal with it for a couple more weeks!”
“You’re beautiful, Ladybug,” he answered calmly. “More beautiful than ever.”
My breath caught in my throat, and I could have screamed in frustration when I felt tears start falling down my cheeks. “Then what’s wrong?”
“Nothing, nothing’s wrong.”
“Then touch me. Please. I’ve tried everything. Nothing is getting her out of there!” I started sniffling, my words coming out garbled. “The doctor said sex might work. Please, Cody.”
I’d been reduced to begging the man I was living with to have sex with me.
“You want me to fuck you so you’ll go into labor?” he asked incredulously, reaching for the button on his jeans. “Well, shit, I’ll just drop my pants and you can go to fucking town then!”
