Craving Constellations
Page 26
“I’m not a stranger. I’m her dad. She knows I’m her dad. Don’t know who fuckin’ told her. I’m just glad I didn’t have to explain it. She’ll get used to me bein’ in your space ’cause I’m gonna be there a lot. She’ll also get used to me in your bed ’cause that’s where I’ll be sleepin’. Moms and dads sleep together. It’s normal. You got any other concerns, you’re gonna have to bitch at me later. I got places to be.”
As soon as he stopped talking, he wrapped a big hand around the back of my neck and pulled my face up to his for a quick kiss, rubbing his tongue along my bottom lip and then biting my top lip softly. His expression never changed, and before I could say anything, he had walked out into the hallway. I followed slowly behind him and watched him smile at Trix, kiss the top of her head, and then head out the door.
It was like any other family in America—the kid ate breakfast, and the mom stood there in her pajamas while the daddy headed off to work. Well, almost the same, I thought to myself as I watched him slide his cut onto his shoulders and then listened to the roar of pipes seconds later.
Not long after Dragon left and I got dressed for the day, we heard gravel crunching as someone drove toward the house. I’d forgotten how quiet it was out here. We’d lived in a neighborhood and then at the clubhouse, which always had people coming and going. The silence was nice and provided the added benefit of always knowing when someone was driving up. It gave me a little peace of mind; no one would get here on foot as we were too far out in the boonies. Trix ran to the window, already bored with the cartoons she’d been watching.
“Auntie Vera!” she squealed and then ran for the door.
Well, this wouldn’t be pleasant. Vera had been giving me the cold shoulder since the night we had dinner at her place. I was surprised she was showing up here. Trix threw open the door, and I caught sight of Vera opening up the back door of her car and then popping the trunk.
“Brenna!” she shouted up to me. “Come help me grab these boxes!”
“Be right there!”
I ran to my room and grabbed some flip-flops from behind the door in my room. I guessed I could start leaving some by the front door, but I’d gotten in the habit of putting everything away the minute I got home. Tony didn’t like clutter, and after he’d tripped on my high heels once after dinner, I never left shoes out again. But this was my house, and if I wanted to leave stuff all over, I could. But just the thought of it caused my heart rate to spike, so maybe I’d try tomorrow…or next week.
“What is all this stuff?” I asked as we brought in the last of the six boxes Vera had dragged over.
Boxes were spread out all over the living room, and I could already feel the start of a panic attack coming on. They needed to go somewhere, anywhere, but our little house had virtually no storage.
“Hey, what’s your deal? You okay?” Vera asked, looking at me like she couldn’t figure out what the problem was. By the look on her face, she could tell I was ready to freak out.
“Uh, what are all these boxes?” I looked around the room.
“It’s all your old stuff. When your pop sold his place, I went in and packed up your room. Clothes and shoes in some boxes and memento stuff in others. I didn’t bring the memento boxes. Didn’t think you’d have space for ’em. I packed all of your star books in with the clothes. Figured if you ever came back, you’d want to open those first.”
The quiver in her voice told me what she would never say. I’d hurt her when I took off. Now that I had Trix, I could finally understand how she must have felt.
I felt a knot forming in the back of my throat. “I’m sorry. I should’ve—”
She stopped me when she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly, her voice muffled in the shoulder of my T-shirt. I could feel her breath stuttering against me like she was trying not to cry.
“That’s okay, baby. You’re here now.”
I breathed in her smell of vanilla perfume and cigarettes, and my panic instantly faded.
All of a sudden, she stepped away, tugged on the bottom of her Harley Davidson tank top, and went on like it’d never happened.
“So, I brought by all of the clothes boxes. I mostly got stuff for Trix when I made that trip into town. A woman’s gotta have some clothes. I doubt your ass will fit into any of your old jeans—”
“Ouch!”
“But all those skirts and T-shirts you had will probably still fit.” She looked up, smiling from where she was using her pocketknife to cut open boxes. “I’ll even make some sundresses for Trix if you want…out of your old band T-shirts. Remember when I did that for you when you were little? Couldn’t even fit into the smallest size they had, and you still insisted on getting any band T-shirt you could get your hands on.”
“You want some new dresses, Trix?” I asked my daughter who had climbed onto one of the largest boxes in the living room and was shaking her little hips. She looked like a miniature go-go dancer.
“Yeah!” she yelled as she jumped off the box onto the couch.
“Trix! Don’t jump on the couch!” In that split second, I was envisioning missing teeth and a trip to the emergency room.
“Trix, you’re gonna give your mama a heart attack.”
Trix giggled as Vera pulled her off the couch.
“Why don’t you go out front and play? Leave the door open.”
As soon as he stopped talking, he wrapped a big hand around the back of my neck and pulled my face up to his for a quick kiss, rubbing his tongue along my bottom lip and then biting my top lip softly. His expression never changed, and before I could say anything, he had walked out into the hallway. I followed slowly behind him and watched him smile at Trix, kiss the top of her head, and then head out the door.
It was like any other family in America—the kid ate breakfast, and the mom stood there in her pajamas while the daddy headed off to work. Well, almost the same, I thought to myself as I watched him slide his cut onto his shoulders and then listened to the roar of pipes seconds later.
Not long after Dragon left and I got dressed for the day, we heard gravel crunching as someone drove toward the house. I’d forgotten how quiet it was out here. We’d lived in a neighborhood and then at the clubhouse, which always had people coming and going. The silence was nice and provided the added benefit of always knowing when someone was driving up. It gave me a little peace of mind; no one would get here on foot as we were too far out in the boonies. Trix ran to the window, already bored with the cartoons she’d been watching.
“Auntie Vera!” she squealed and then ran for the door.
Well, this wouldn’t be pleasant. Vera had been giving me the cold shoulder since the night we had dinner at her place. I was surprised she was showing up here. Trix threw open the door, and I caught sight of Vera opening up the back door of her car and then popping the trunk.
“Brenna!” she shouted up to me. “Come help me grab these boxes!”
“Be right there!”
I ran to my room and grabbed some flip-flops from behind the door in my room. I guessed I could start leaving some by the front door, but I’d gotten in the habit of putting everything away the minute I got home. Tony didn’t like clutter, and after he’d tripped on my high heels once after dinner, I never left shoes out again. But this was my house, and if I wanted to leave stuff all over, I could. But just the thought of it caused my heart rate to spike, so maybe I’d try tomorrow…or next week.
“What is all this stuff?” I asked as we brought in the last of the six boxes Vera had dragged over.
Boxes were spread out all over the living room, and I could already feel the start of a panic attack coming on. They needed to go somewhere, anywhere, but our little house had virtually no storage.
“Hey, what’s your deal? You okay?” Vera asked, looking at me like she couldn’t figure out what the problem was. By the look on her face, she could tell I was ready to freak out.
“Uh, what are all these boxes?” I looked around the room.
“It’s all your old stuff. When your pop sold his place, I went in and packed up your room. Clothes and shoes in some boxes and memento stuff in others. I didn’t bring the memento boxes. Didn’t think you’d have space for ’em. I packed all of your star books in with the clothes. Figured if you ever came back, you’d want to open those first.”
The quiver in her voice told me what she would never say. I’d hurt her when I took off. Now that I had Trix, I could finally understand how she must have felt.
I felt a knot forming in the back of my throat. “I’m sorry. I should’ve—”
She stopped me when she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly, her voice muffled in the shoulder of my T-shirt. I could feel her breath stuttering against me like she was trying not to cry.
“That’s okay, baby. You’re here now.”
I breathed in her smell of vanilla perfume and cigarettes, and my panic instantly faded.
All of a sudden, she stepped away, tugged on the bottom of her Harley Davidson tank top, and went on like it’d never happened.
“So, I brought by all of the clothes boxes. I mostly got stuff for Trix when I made that trip into town. A woman’s gotta have some clothes. I doubt your ass will fit into any of your old jeans—”
“Ouch!”
“But all those skirts and T-shirts you had will probably still fit.” She looked up, smiling from where she was using her pocketknife to cut open boxes. “I’ll even make some sundresses for Trix if you want…out of your old band T-shirts. Remember when I did that for you when you were little? Couldn’t even fit into the smallest size they had, and you still insisted on getting any band T-shirt you could get your hands on.”
“You want some new dresses, Trix?” I asked my daughter who had climbed onto one of the largest boxes in the living room and was shaking her little hips. She looked like a miniature go-go dancer.
“Yeah!” she yelled as she jumped off the box onto the couch.
“Trix! Don’t jump on the couch!” In that split second, I was envisioning missing teeth and a trip to the emergency room.
“Trix, you’re gonna give your mama a heart attack.”
Trix giggled as Vera pulled her off the couch.
“Why don’t you go out front and play? Leave the door open.”
