Craving Him
Page 3
“He’s also cut off his friendship with her,” I quickly added, like that made it all better somehow. I was still wary of his relationship with Fiona and knew it would take some work to rebuild my trust in him. But Ellie’s constant suspicions would only make this harder. I needed to put on a brave face. I needed to try and move past all this if he was what I really wanted.
“But he’s still going to stay with her agency?” Ellie shot me a curious glare.
“Yes, for now. He’s under contract.” I didn’t mention that this little fact also drove me mad. I didn’t want him working with her, but I didn’t want to give Ellie another reason to hate him, so I held my face impassive, trying to pretend it didn’t bother me. That it was all just some harmless business arrangement. The truth was, I didn’t trust Fiona and never would. Ben had a weakness where she was concerned, giving her too much leeway, being too accommodating.
Ellie released a deep sigh. “It killed me when you took off for home. I felt helpless and I just don’t want to see you go through something like that again with him.”
“It won’t happen again. I’m here to stay. In fact, I need to start looking for a job so I can pay you back for rent.”
Ellie waved me off. “Psshh . . . I’m not worried about the rent. I’m just glad you’re back and doing well.” She opened her arms. “Come here.”
I stepped into her embrace and gave her a hug. She wasn’t a hugger usually. “It’s good to be home.”
“Though keep in mind I’ll have his balls if he so much as steps out of line with you again.”
“Understood.” I smiled. She meant well.
Not much had changed even with the new apartment, and I was glad it felt nice and cozy to be back. All of our stuff had found its home, and even my room was set up much the same.
After unpacking, I logged onto my laptop, ready to look for jobs. I was set on paying Ellie back for the rent. I knew she didn’t have much extra money just lying around, and I wanted to pull my fair share. Not to mention I’d go positively crazy without a job. A pang of regret coursed through me at how my job at Status had ended. I certainly wouldn’t be getting a recommendation from my former boss. And God, what would I say if someone asked why I’d left my last job? Crap! My male model boyfriend got my boss pregnant and I quit. Ha! Yeah right. That’d go over about as well as a fart in church.
I supposed I’d have to spin it . . . say I went home for a family emergency. They didn’t need to know the emergency was me having a complete emotional breakdown.
Being in New York and back with Ben was emotionally overwhelming. It would take some time to process. I certainly hadn’t expected to run right into his arms again. But then again, nothing about our relationship was expected. I decided last night that I’d give him another chance, and I meant it. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to be warier approaching our relationship this time around. I had both of my eyes wide open, and I would wait to see how it all unfolded. He would need to show me with his actions, and not just pretty words, why he could be trusted again.
2
Ben
My shoot was at an old warehouse in Brooklyn so I was up early and across the Williamsburg Bridge before eight. I wish I could’ve stayed with Emmy last night, but I didn’t want to rush her. I’d done things all wrong the first time around and I was bound and determined to make things better for her. I would go at whatever pace she wanted, take care of her every need, and love her as long as she’d let me. I was one lucky bastard that I’d been forgiven, and it wasn’t something I took lightly.
That being said, I knew my limitations. I wasn’t good at going slow and didn’t trust myself not to try something if she was in the bed next to me. She was too luscious with those tempting curves. And I knew how good she f**ked, how soft and silken her skin was, those sexy little noises she made when she came. . . . Damn, I was going to give myself an erection thinking about her like that. And seeing how this was a swimsuit shoot, and I was currently sporting a nut-constricting pair of briefs . . . that wouldn’t be good. Not unless I wanted to give everyone on set a show.
Still, I wished I could’ve spent more time with Emmy. Part of it was that I really didn’t like the look of the neighborhood she lived in. I’d already called a local company about installing a security system in their apartment.
Her roommate was a little firecracker, though. I had a feeling that even at one hundred and ten pounds tops, she’d give an intruder a swift kick to the balls if needed, a thought that made me feel only marginally better.
Fiona lingered just off set, her eyes roaming my nearly naked form every few moments. I hated how obvious she was and I couldn’t believe I’d never noticed it before. Now that Emmy had pointed it out, the way Fiona felt about me was reflected in her eyes, which made it a little difficult to be around her. Annoying, mostly. Nothing I couldn’t handle. This was work. Plain and simple.
I pulled my phone from my backpack near the makeup station to send Emmy a quick text before the shoot started. I needed to see her tonight.
Me: Hey baby. I want to take you out for dinner tonight. Are you free?
Emmy: Hiiii! Yes, that’d be great. I’ve been stuck inside all day looking for jobs.
Me: My driver will pick you up in front of your building at 7:00 and bring you to a restaurant in Midtown. I’ll take the train and meet you there.
Emmy: I don’t want to hog your car. I’m used to taking the train . . .
“But he’s still going to stay with her agency?” Ellie shot me a curious glare.
“Yes, for now. He’s under contract.” I didn’t mention that this little fact also drove me mad. I didn’t want him working with her, but I didn’t want to give Ellie another reason to hate him, so I held my face impassive, trying to pretend it didn’t bother me. That it was all just some harmless business arrangement. The truth was, I didn’t trust Fiona and never would. Ben had a weakness where she was concerned, giving her too much leeway, being too accommodating.
Ellie released a deep sigh. “It killed me when you took off for home. I felt helpless and I just don’t want to see you go through something like that again with him.”
“It won’t happen again. I’m here to stay. In fact, I need to start looking for a job so I can pay you back for rent.”
Ellie waved me off. “Psshh . . . I’m not worried about the rent. I’m just glad you’re back and doing well.” She opened her arms. “Come here.”
I stepped into her embrace and gave her a hug. She wasn’t a hugger usually. “It’s good to be home.”
“Though keep in mind I’ll have his balls if he so much as steps out of line with you again.”
“Understood.” I smiled. She meant well.
Not much had changed even with the new apartment, and I was glad it felt nice and cozy to be back. All of our stuff had found its home, and even my room was set up much the same.
After unpacking, I logged onto my laptop, ready to look for jobs. I was set on paying Ellie back for the rent. I knew she didn’t have much extra money just lying around, and I wanted to pull my fair share. Not to mention I’d go positively crazy without a job. A pang of regret coursed through me at how my job at Status had ended. I certainly wouldn’t be getting a recommendation from my former boss. And God, what would I say if someone asked why I’d left my last job? Crap! My male model boyfriend got my boss pregnant and I quit. Ha! Yeah right. That’d go over about as well as a fart in church.
I supposed I’d have to spin it . . . say I went home for a family emergency. They didn’t need to know the emergency was me having a complete emotional breakdown.
Being in New York and back with Ben was emotionally overwhelming. It would take some time to process. I certainly hadn’t expected to run right into his arms again. But then again, nothing about our relationship was expected. I decided last night that I’d give him another chance, and I meant it. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to be warier approaching our relationship this time around. I had both of my eyes wide open, and I would wait to see how it all unfolded. He would need to show me with his actions, and not just pretty words, why he could be trusted again.
2
Ben
My shoot was at an old warehouse in Brooklyn so I was up early and across the Williamsburg Bridge before eight. I wish I could’ve stayed with Emmy last night, but I didn’t want to rush her. I’d done things all wrong the first time around and I was bound and determined to make things better for her. I would go at whatever pace she wanted, take care of her every need, and love her as long as she’d let me. I was one lucky bastard that I’d been forgiven, and it wasn’t something I took lightly.
That being said, I knew my limitations. I wasn’t good at going slow and didn’t trust myself not to try something if she was in the bed next to me. She was too luscious with those tempting curves. And I knew how good she f**ked, how soft and silken her skin was, those sexy little noises she made when she came. . . . Damn, I was going to give myself an erection thinking about her like that. And seeing how this was a swimsuit shoot, and I was currently sporting a nut-constricting pair of briefs . . . that wouldn’t be good. Not unless I wanted to give everyone on set a show.
Still, I wished I could’ve spent more time with Emmy. Part of it was that I really didn’t like the look of the neighborhood she lived in. I’d already called a local company about installing a security system in their apartment.
Her roommate was a little firecracker, though. I had a feeling that even at one hundred and ten pounds tops, she’d give an intruder a swift kick to the balls if needed, a thought that made me feel only marginally better.
Fiona lingered just off set, her eyes roaming my nearly naked form every few moments. I hated how obvious she was and I couldn’t believe I’d never noticed it before. Now that Emmy had pointed it out, the way Fiona felt about me was reflected in her eyes, which made it a little difficult to be around her. Annoying, mostly. Nothing I couldn’t handle. This was work. Plain and simple.
I pulled my phone from my backpack near the makeup station to send Emmy a quick text before the shoot started. I needed to see her tonight.
Me: Hey baby. I want to take you out for dinner tonight. Are you free?
Emmy: Hiiii! Yes, that’d be great. I’ve been stuck inside all day looking for jobs.
Me: My driver will pick you up in front of your building at 7:00 and bring you to a restaurant in Midtown. I’ll take the train and meet you there.
Emmy: I don’t want to hog your car. I’m used to taking the train . . .
