Craving Redemption
Page 102
It kept me safe from my memories by giving me something else to focus on while Asa was gone.
We were only able to visit Asa around my school schedule, which sometimes left us without face to face contact for months. Those were the hardest times. I lived for the moments that I could see him smiling at Will—watching as Will sat up for the first time on the little visitor’s table, or seeing him stumble into the room for the first time on his own two feet. In those moments, we were like any other family in the world.
Will’s first birthday passed with little fanfare—Gram’s homemade pineapple upside-down cake, and a trip to the prison for a visit. That seemed to be our life in a nutshell.
Six months later, Farrah and I graduated from cosmetology school and found jobs in a little salon at the mall. The pay wasn’t great, but they let us make our own hours and we were always able to work together, which helped when my car died for good and we had to carpool until I could get a new one.
We were riding in my new car, a cheap used Toyota that was easy to finance, when Will said his first word. He’d been mumbling and saying Mama and Dada, Fawa and Gram for months, but it was the first word that wasn’t a name. He pointed out the window at the semi driving next to us on the freeway and said “truck” as if he’d always known how to say it.
I cried the entire way home, while I clapped and cheered him on, because I hadn’t brought my camera with us to the grocery store and Asa had missed it.
Some days I didn’t know how I would keep going without Asa, and others felt as if he’d never been there to begin with. I’d begin to feel as if I’d always lived without him, and it would scare me so much that I’d slide back into missing him to the point of madness. It was a cycle that repeated itself over and over again until I felt exhausted from it, but one thing was certain: there wasn’t a minute that I didn’t wish he were beside me.
Life passed slowly in some moments, and quickly in others, leaving a bittersweet sensation behind. As hard as I wished for time to pass quickly, I also begged it to slow down. I missed Asa, but Will was growing so fast that I could barely stand it.
And then, after twenty-five months of waiting, he was out.
Chapter 69
Grease
The air smelled fucking sweet on the outside.
The boys had brought my bike to the prison so I could drive it home, and I looked like an asshole in my fucking dress shirt, but I didn’t care. I was so glad to be going home to Callie that I would have ridden in a clown suit.
I had to stop by the club on my way out of town to get a couple changes of clothes and check in with Slider, but I was planning on hitting the road the moment I got my shit together. I couldn’t wait to see Callie, and my dick had been hard since the moment I sat down on my bike and knew for sure that I was out of there.
I promised Callie that I would head straight to her once I’d grabbed my shit—she’d been practically bursting with excitement for the last month as we waited for my release. I wondered if she’d have Will with her when I got there, or if she’d have Gram keep him so we could have a little time for ourselves first. I didn’t care either way—I couldn’t wait to see my son—but I was dying to be inside my woman again, too.
I’d worked it out so I could drive back and forth to Sacramento as long as I let someone know I was going, but I was hoping that I wouldn’t have to be making that drive for much longer. I was beyond ready to be living with Callie and Will full time, and I wasn’t going to deal with her putting that shit off. I’d waited four years for the chance to live with my woman and I wasn’t going to wait any longer.
When I pulled up to the club, the place was fucking packed. When I parked and climbed off my bike, I turned to Dragon to see what the fuck was going on, but before I could say a word a wall of noise came thundering out of the front doors. Boys were yelling and cheering, and even a few old ladies were fucking screaming and clapping their damn hands. It was embarrassing as all hell.
“Welcome home, boyo,” Poet told me merrily, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.
“What’s all this?” I asked with a smile, I couldn’t help it. He was swaying from side to side, taking me along with him, and I’d rarely seen him so plastered.
“It’s a welcome home party, obviously,” Vera called as she and Slider came to meet us. “It’s good to have you home.”
“Good to be back. Is Callie here?” I looked around the crowd, but couldn’t see her anywhere.
“Couldn’t get a hold of her,” Slider grumbled.
“What? I thought you were keeping an eye on her?”
“We have been. Kept boys on her since you been gone, but she doesn’t talk to any of them. Won’t answer calls, won’t answer the door—we did what we could.”
“Why the fuck didn’t someone tell me?” I snarled. “I’ve seen you once a month for two years!”
Vera’s face was sympathetic, but Slider and Poet were expressionless.
“Did what we had to, Asa,” Slider rumbled, his use of my real name startling me. “You didn’t need to worry about that shit. Knew she was coming to see you still—didn’t want to cause problems between the two of you when there wasn’t shit you could do about it. Didn’t want to take the chance that you’d stop getting those visits.”
I was fucking stunned.
I was also pissed as hell.
What the fuck was Callie’s deal?
We were only able to visit Asa around my school schedule, which sometimes left us without face to face contact for months. Those were the hardest times. I lived for the moments that I could see him smiling at Will—watching as Will sat up for the first time on the little visitor’s table, or seeing him stumble into the room for the first time on his own two feet. In those moments, we were like any other family in the world.
Will’s first birthday passed with little fanfare—Gram’s homemade pineapple upside-down cake, and a trip to the prison for a visit. That seemed to be our life in a nutshell.
Six months later, Farrah and I graduated from cosmetology school and found jobs in a little salon at the mall. The pay wasn’t great, but they let us make our own hours and we were always able to work together, which helped when my car died for good and we had to carpool until I could get a new one.
We were riding in my new car, a cheap used Toyota that was easy to finance, when Will said his first word. He’d been mumbling and saying Mama and Dada, Fawa and Gram for months, but it was the first word that wasn’t a name. He pointed out the window at the semi driving next to us on the freeway and said “truck” as if he’d always known how to say it.
I cried the entire way home, while I clapped and cheered him on, because I hadn’t brought my camera with us to the grocery store and Asa had missed it.
Some days I didn’t know how I would keep going without Asa, and others felt as if he’d never been there to begin with. I’d begin to feel as if I’d always lived without him, and it would scare me so much that I’d slide back into missing him to the point of madness. It was a cycle that repeated itself over and over again until I felt exhausted from it, but one thing was certain: there wasn’t a minute that I didn’t wish he were beside me.
Life passed slowly in some moments, and quickly in others, leaving a bittersweet sensation behind. As hard as I wished for time to pass quickly, I also begged it to slow down. I missed Asa, but Will was growing so fast that I could barely stand it.
And then, after twenty-five months of waiting, he was out.
Chapter 69
Grease
The air smelled fucking sweet on the outside.
The boys had brought my bike to the prison so I could drive it home, and I looked like an asshole in my fucking dress shirt, but I didn’t care. I was so glad to be going home to Callie that I would have ridden in a clown suit.
I had to stop by the club on my way out of town to get a couple changes of clothes and check in with Slider, but I was planning on hitting the road the moment I got my shit together. I couldn’t wait to see Callie, and my dick had been hard since the moment I sat down on my bike and knew for sure that I was out of there.
I promised Callie that I would head straight to her once I’d grabbed my shit—she’d been practically bursting with excitement for the last month as we waited for my release. I wondered if she’d have Will with her when I got there, or if she’d have Gram keep him so we could have a little time for ourselves first. I didn’t care either way—I couldn’t wait to see my son—but I was dying to be inside my woman again, too.
I’d worked it out so I could drive back and forth to Sacramento as long as I let someone know I was going, but I was hoping that I wouldn’t have to be making that drive for much longer. I was beyond ready to be living with Callie and Will full time, and I wasn’t going to deal with her putting that shit off. I’d waited four years for the chance to live with my woman and I wasn’t going to wait any longer.
When I pulled up to the club, the place was fucking packed. When I parked and climbed off my bike, I turned to Dragon to see what the fuck was going on, but before I could say a word a wall of noise came thundering out of the front doors. Boys were yelling and cheering, and even a few old ladies were fucking screaming and clapping their damn hands. It was embarrassing as all hell.
“Welcome home, boyo,” Poet told me merrily, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.
“What’s all this?” I asked with a smile, I couldn’t help it. He was swaying from side to side, taking me along with him, and I’d rarely seen him so plastered.
“It’s a welcome home party, obviously,” Vera called as she and Slider came to meet us. “It’s good to have you home.”
“Good to be back. Is Callie here?” I looked around the crowd, but couldn’t see her anywhere.
“Couldn’t get a hold of her,” Slider grumbled.
“What? I thought you were keeping an eye on her?”
“We have been. Kept boys on her since you been gone, but she doesn’t talk to any of them. Won’t answer calls, won’t answer the door—we did what we could.”
“Why the fuck didn’t someone tell me?” I snarled. “I’ve seen you once a month for two years!”
Vera’s face was sympathetic, but Slider and Poet were expressionless.
“Did what we had to, Asa,” Slider rumbled, his use of my real name startling me. “You didn’t need to worry about that shit. Knew she was coming to see you still—didn’t want to cause problems between the two of you when there wasn’t shit you could do about it. Didn’t want to take the chance that you’d stop getting those visits.”
I was fucking stunned.
I was also pissed as hell.
What the fuck was Callie’s deal?
