Craving Redemption
Page 104
“That club has fed you and clothed you for four years, too,” I growled back, irritated as fuck.
“No. You supported me. They didn’t give shit to me,” she shot back, her face immediately smoothing out again. “And I don’t even need you to do it anymore.”
I stared at her, gaping. It was so much worse than I’d thought. I’d known she was pissed, but I’d had no idea how deep that shit went, and now I was fucked.
“Sugar, don’t do this,” I whispered, my entire life crumbling around me. I wanted to fucking shake her, to shove her down on the couch and prove that she was mine. But I couldn’t. She was the mother of my child, and she was breaking apart right in front of me.
“Will’s still sleeping,” she told me dismissively. “I know you have your phone, since I hooked it back up, so I’ll have Gram call you when he wakes up.”
“I’ll just stay until he does,” I answered, moving toward the couch.
“No. You won’t,” she commanded, shaking her head as she stood, the silky robe falling down her thighs in a way that made my mouth water. “I’ve been paying for this apartment for months, Asa. It’s no longer yours. Gram will call you when he wakes up and you can come for a visit—after that we’ll work something out.”
“You don’t want to do this, Callie,” I warned her, my muscles straining in frustration. “You don’t want me to leave.”
“I’ll probably cry,” she told me quietly, opening the door and motioning for me to walk through it. “I’ll probably weep and lie in bed for hours and feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest.” She searched my face as I reached up to touch her, but she pulled her head back before I could make contact. “But I won’t change my mind.”
Just like that, she completely shattered my fucking life.
Chapter 70
Callie
The minute Asa walked out the door, I wanted to take it all back.
I wanted to tell him that I’d just been angry, that I loved him and wanted him to hold me. It had been so long since he’d been able to just hold me without the threat of a time limit, or of it being thought inappropriate. I just needed him to fight for me, to tell me that the club wasn’t more important and that he would put Will and me first from then on.
I dropped onto the couch, stunned that he had actually left. When I realized I hadn’t heard his bike start yet, I jumped back up and ran to the front door. I raced to the landing and looked over to find him talking on his phone. I raced down the stairs barefoot, anxious to get to him before he left, and he didn’t notice as I came up only a few feet behind him.
“Bitch fuckin’ kicked me out,” he hissed to whoever he was talking to. “Yeah, I’ll be there soon. Nah, man. Take care of it for me, would you?”
I felt my nose start running even before tears hit my eyes, and thought vaguely that it was weird as I quietly backed away from him. I’d messed up. I’d gone too far, and even though that was my intention, I felt gutted.
I backed into the stairwell before he could hear me, and listened as he fired up his bike. Within moments he was gone, and the warm afternoon suddenly felt frigid in my tiny-ass robe. I made my way back to the apartment on silent feet and prayed that I hadn’t woken Will up when I’d thrown the door open. I didn’t know if I could handle being mommy, when I couldn’t even feel my hands. Why couldn’t I feel my hands?
I wasn’t in the house long, sitting on the couch where Asa’d found me earlier, when someone was knocking on the door. He came back! I was so relieved that I freaking ran to the door, my fingers fumbling with the locks until I got it open.
“Hey, remember me?” a voice called jovially. “I’m Grease’s brother Deke, we met once before.”
My entire body slumped when I realized Asa hadn’t come back, and then stiffened when I noticed how the man was watching me. I didn’t move from the doorway, but he used my surprise and disappointment against me as he slid past me and into the apartment.
“Seems like he would have hooked you up better than this,” he commented, shaking his head as he looked around the apartment.
“I’m sorry, I don’t really remember you,” I answered calmly as I placed myself between him and the hallway. “We’ve met?”
“Yeah, I was there the night Grease found you. Remember? I had a Mohawk then.” He was watching me intently, taking in my skimpy robe, and it creeped me out big time. There was something wrong with his eyes. His pupils were too large, his eyes sort of glassy and bloodshot at the same time.
“Yeah, I remember you now,” I told him with a fake laugh. “That night is sort of a blur.”
“I bet. Jose always had the good shit at his place,” he answered insensitively, as if I’d chosen to be drugged.
“Are you looking for Asa? He just ran to the store, he should be back pretty soon,” I lied through my teeth.
“Oh, yeah? Well, I’ll just sit down and wait then.”
I watched him make himself comfortable on my couch as my stomach turned. Should I have told him that Asa wasn’t coming back? It seemed safer to lie and say that Asa would be there any second, but now he was acting like he wasn’t going to leave and I had no idea what to do.
“I’m going to go get dressed really quick,” I mumbled, watching him closely.
“No need to do that for me, I’m enjoying the view,” he leered, making my skin crawl.
“No. You supported me. They didn’t give shit to me,” she shot back, her face immediately smoothing out again. “And I don’t even need you to do it anymore.”
I stared at her, gaping. It was so much worse than I’d thought. I’d known she was pissed, but I’d had no idea how deep that shit went, and now I was fucked.
“Sugar, don’t do this,” I whispered, my entire life crumbling around me. I wanted to fucking shake her, to shove her down on the couch and prove that she was mine. But I couldn’t. She was the mother of my child, and she was breaking apart right in front of me.
“Will’s still sleeping,” she told me dismissively. “I know you have your phone, since I hooked it back up, so I’ll have Gram call you when he wakes up.”
“I’ll just stay until he does,” I answered, moving toward the couch.
“No. You won’t,” she commanded, shaking her head as she stood, the silky robe falling down her thighs in a way that made my mouth water. “I’ve been paying for this apartment for months, Asa. It’s no longer yours. Gram will call you when he wakes up and you can come for a visit—after that we’ll work something out.”
“You don’t want to do this, Callie,” I warned her, my muscles straining in frustration. “You don’t want me to leave.”
“I’ll probably cry,” she told me quietly, opening the door and motioning for me to walk through it. “I’ll probably weep and lie in bed for hours and feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest.” She searched my face as I reached up to touch her, but she pulled her head back before I could make contact. “But I won’t change my mind.”
Just like that, she completely shattered my fucking life.
Chapter 70
Callie
The minute Asa walked out the door, I wanted to take it all back.
I wanted to tell him that I’d just been angry, that I loved him and wanted him to hold me. It had been so long since he’d been able to just hold me without the threat of a time limit, or of it being thought inappropriate. I just needed him to fight for me, to tell me that the club wasn’t more important and that he would put Will and me first from then on.
I dropped onto the couch, stunned that he had actually left. When I realized I hadn’t heard his bike start yet, I jumped back up and ran to the front door. I raced to the landing and looked over to find him talking on his phone. I raced down the stairs barefoot, anxious to get to him before he left, and he didn’t notice as I came up only a few feet behind him.
“Bitch fuckin’ kicked me out,” he hissed to whoever he was talking to. “Yeah, I’ll be there soon. Nah, man. Take care of it for me, would you?”
I felt my nose start running even before tears hit my eyes, and thought vaguely that it was weird as I quietly backed away from him. I’d messed up. I’d gone too far, and even though that was my intention, I felt gutted.
I backed into the stairwell before he could hear me, and listened as he fired up his bike. Within moments he was gone, and the warm afternoon suddenly felt frigid in my tiny-ass robe. I made my way back to the apartment on silent feet and prayed that I hadn’t woken Will up when I’d thrown the door open. I didn’t know if I could handle being mommy, when I couldn’t even feel my hands. Why couldn’t I feel my hands?
I wasn’t in the house long, sitting on the couch where Asa’d found me earlier, when someone was knocking on the door. He came back! I was so relieved that I freaking ran to the door, my fingers fumbling with the locks until I got it open.
“Hey, remember me?” a voice called jovially. “I’m Grease’s brother Deke, we met once before.”
My entire body slumped when I realized Asa hadn’t come back, and then stiffened when I noticed how the man was watching me. I didn’t move from the doorway, but he used my surprise and disappointment against me as he slid past me and into the apartment.
“Seems like he would have hooked you up better than this,” he commented, shaking his head as he looked around the apartment.
“I’m sorry, I don’t really remember you,” I answered calmly as I placed myself between him and the hallway. “We’ve met?”
“Yeah, I was there the night Grease found you. Remember? I had a Mohawk then.” He was watching me intently, taking in my skimpy robe, and it creeped me out big time. There was something wrong with his eyes. His pupils were too large, his eyes sort of glassy and bloodshot at the same time.
“Yeah, I remember you now,” I told him with a fake laugh. “That night is sort of a blur.”
“I bet. Jose always had the good shit at his place,” he answered insensitively, as if I’d chosen to be drugged.
“Are you looking for Asa? He just ran to the store, he should be back pretty soon,” I lied through my teeth.
“Oh, yeah? Well, I’ll just sit down and wait then.”
I watched him make himself comfortable on my couch as my stomach turned. Should I have told him that Asa wasn’t coming back? It seemed safer to lie and say that Asa would be there any second, but now he was acting like he wasn’t going to leave and I had no idea what to do.
“I’m going to go get dressed really quick,” I mumbled, watching him closely.
“No need to do that for me, I’m enjoying the view,” he leered, making my skin crawl.
