Craving Redemption
Page 33
At my gesture, he moved his face toward mine until our noses were almost touching. “Calliope, what I went through ain’t nothing like the shit you’ve had to deal with. It doesn’t even come close. And I’m so goddamn sorry.” He leaned down further until our foreheads were touching and ran his nose against mine. “But I’m gonna take care of you. I’m gonna make all of this shit seem like a bad fuckin’ dream. Nobody is gonna take anything from you again. I fuckin’ promise.” He tilted his head so he could touch his lips to mine before pulling back to look me in the eyes again. “Do you believe me?”
His eyes were so dark I could see myself in his pupils, and I swallowed hard before answering. “I believe you,” I whispered back, and I meant it. This man, so different from me and anything I’d ever known, would walk through fire for me. It didn’t make any sense. He didn’t love me. He didn’t even know me. But for some reason, he’d claimed me. And when everything else around me was spinning crazily out of control, he was there, steady and unmoving.
He made a noise deep in his throat and moved in again, taking my mouth in a wet kiss that had me holding my breath. It was deep and sweet and exactly what I needed.
Our lips broke apart, but his arms didn’t leave me when Gram walked into the family room, worrying her lip with her fingers.
“The funeral parlor doesn’t know what the hell is going on,” she told us as she paced. “They don’t even know when they’ll have Danny and Angie. It’s up to the police and the coroner, and they haven’t said a goddamn word to me!” Her steps sped up as she walked from one end of the living room to the other and then she stopped suddenly in front of us, looked at me with fresh grief in her eyes, and told me quietly, “Apparently, it could take weeks. I won’t be able to lay my baby boy to rest for weeks.”
I stood from the couch and wrapped my arms around her. I didn’t know how to comfort her—her loss was so different than mine. She’d grown my father in her belly, nursed him, and watched him grow into a man. He was her baby, her last baby, and now he was gone. So I just stood there, with my arms wrapped around her bent shoulders and let her sob, while tears ran slowly down my cheeks.
I’m not sure how long we stood there before she calmed down enough to move away, but by the time it happened, Poet had walked into the house from wherever he’d been and Cody was sitting on the arm of the couch.
“Rose,” Poet called softly, “I know this is a shit time. And I know you don’t wanna hear this—but Callie ain’t got weeks here. We’ve got two days at the outside before she’s gotta be outta town. Any longer than that and we’re asking for trouble.”
Oh fuck. Oh fuck, fuck, fuck.
I was going to miss my parents’ funeral.
I thought, How much worse could my life get? before I quickly erased the question from my mind. My life could be infinitely worse and I didn’t want to make the mistake of asking a question, even in my head, that I didn’t want to know the answer to.
It was as if Poet’s statement had lit a fire under my Gram’s ass, because the show of grief evaporated like mist and she turned into a human tornado—tearing apart the house.
She raced around, packing up what little I kept at her house into two small suitcases while I watched in horror. When she was done, she gave them to Asa to put into the moving truck as she packed us sandwiches and drinks for the road. But she didn’t stop there. She grabbed a black garbage bag and started stuffing kitchen utensils and pots and pans inside as she explained what each was used for. It was like she was trying to impart years of wisdom into an hour of feverish activity, refusing to stop and allow it to sink in that I was leaving.
“Gram?” I asked anxiously as she tried to tell me the recipe for her stuffed pork chops, “I don’t have to leave yet. Right? Poet said I had a couple days!”
She stopped mid-sentence and took a deep breath as she moved away from the cupboard she’d been pulling supplies from. “I know what Poet said, Callie. And I’m not trying to scare you, baby girl. But these men? They aren’t going to wait. I was stupid for thinking we’d have more time. I know better, and so does Poet. He was being kind, darlin’. We don’t have days.” She laid her hand on my cheek. “We have hours.”
She was right.
Less than two hours later I found myself hugging my baby brother goodbye.
“I’ve got my phone, and Gram says she’s going to figure out all the paperwork and shit, so it should be good for a while at least. If I have to get a new one, I’ll call you, okay?” I asked him as I clutched him tight around the waist.
“Yeah. Call the dorm and someone will pick up. I’m not sure what I’ll do if the cell phones get cut off…”
“Don’t worry about it. If I need to, I’ll send you a new one, okay? Call me all the time. I want to hear about everything you’re doing.”
“I will,” he told me with a squeeze. “Be careful, sister.”
With one more squeeze and a kiss on the top of my head, he let me go and I faced Gram. Her chin was high and her shoulders were straight, but the sheen in her eyes told me she was having a hard time keeping it together.
“You call me when you two get there. Asa says he’s going to head straight through to Sacramento, so you should be where you’re headed by late tonight.” Her voice quieted as she spoke directly into my ear, “That boy feels something strong for you Callie. I don’t know what happened between you two that I didn’t see, and it’s not my business… but I’ve been around a lot of men in my life—enough to tell the good ones from the bad—and I’ll tell you one thing, baby, this man’s as good as they come. You trust him, okay? He’ll take care of you.” She pulled me into a hug, but it wasn’t long before she was holding onto my arms and pushing me away. “I’ll be up in a few weeks to help you get settled. You call me if you have any problems, you hear?” She pulled me back in for a kiss and then pushed me lightly toward Asa. “I love you, Callie Rose.”
His eyes were so dark I could see myself in his pupils, and I swallowed hard before answering. “I believe you,” I whispered back, and I meant it. This man, so different from me and anything I’d ever known, would walk through fire for me. It didn’t make any sense. He didn’t love me. He didn’t even know me. But for some reason, he’d claimed me. And when everything else around me was spinning crazily out of control, he was there, steady and unmoving.
He made a noise deep in his throat and moved in again, taking my mouth in a wet kiss that had me holding my breath. It was deep and sweet and exactly what I needed.
Our lips broke apart, but his arms didn’t leave me when Gram walked into the family room, worrying her lip with her fingers.
“The funeral parlor doesn’t know what the hell is going on,” she told us as she paced. “They don’t even know when they’ll have Danny and Angie. It’s up to the police and the coroner, and they haven’t said a goddamn word to me!” Her steps sped up as she walked from one end of the living room to the other and then she stopped suddenly in front of us, looked at me with fresh grief in her eyes, and told me quietly, “Apparently, it could take weeks. I won’t be able to lay my baby boy to rest for weeks.”
I stood from the couch and wrapped my arms around her. I didn’t know how to comfort her—her loss was so different than mine. She’d grown my father in her belly, nursed him, and watched him grow into a man. He was her baby, her last baby, and now he was gone. So I just stood there, with my arms wrapped around her bent shoulders and let her sob, while tears ran slowly down my cheeks.
I’m not sure how long we stood there before she calmed down enough to move away, but by the time it happened, Poet had walked into the house from wherever he’d been and Cody was sitting on the arm of the couch.
“Rose,” Poet called softly, “I know this is a shit time. And I know you don’t wanna hear this—but Callie ain’t got weeks here. We’ve got two days at the outside before she’s gotta be outta town. Any longer than that and we’re asking for trouble.”
Oh fuck. Oh fuck, fuck, fuck.
I was going to miss my parents’ funeral.
I thought, How much worse could my life get? before I quickly erased the question from my mind. My life could be infinitely worse and I didn’t want to make the mistake of asking a question, even in my head, that I didn’t want to know the answer to.
It was as if Poet’s statement had lit a fire under my Gram’s ass, because the show of grief evaporated like mist and she turned into a human tornado—tearing apart the house.
She raced around, packing up what little I kept at her house into two small suitcases while I watched in horror. When she was done, she gave them to Asa to put into the moving truck as she packed us sandwiches and drinks for the road. But she didn’t stop there. She grabbed a black garbage bag and started stuffing kitchen utensils and pots and pans inside as she explained what each was used for. It was like she was trying to impart years of wisdom into an hour of feverish activity, refusing to stop and allow it to sink in that I was leaving.
“Gram?” I asked anxiously as she tried to tell me the recipe for her stuffed pork chops, “I don’t have to leave yet. Right? Poet said I had a couple days!”
She stopped mid-sentence and took a deep breath as she moved away from the cupboard she’d been pulling supplies from. “I know what Poet said, Callie. And I’m not trying to scare you, baby girl. But these men? They aren’t going to wait. I was stupid for thinking we’d have more time. I know better, and so does Poet. He was being kind, darlin’. We don’t have days.” She laid her hand on my cheek. “We have hours.”
She was right.
Less than two hours later I found myself hugging my baby brother goodbye.
“I’ve got my phone, and Gram says she’s going to figure out all the paperwork and shit, so it should be good for a while at least. If I have to get a new one, I’ll call you, okay?” I asked him as I clutched him tight around the waist.
“Yeah. Call the dorm and someone will pick up. I’m not sure what I’ll do if the cell phones get cut off…”
“Don’t worry about it. If I need to, I’ll send you a new one, okay? Call me all the time. I want to hear about everything you’re doing.”
“I will,” he told me with a squeeze. “Be careful, sister.”
With one more squeeze and a kiss on the top of my head, he let me go and I faced Gram. Her chin was high and her shoulders were straight, but the sheen in her eyes told me she was having a hard time keeping it together.
“You call me when you two get there. Asa says he’s going to head straight through to Sacramento, so you should be where you’re headed by late tonight.” Her voice quieted as she spoke directly into my ear, “That boy feels something strong for you Callie. I don’t know what happened between you two that I didn’t see, and it’s not my business… but I’ve been around a lot of men in my life—enough to tell the good ones from the bad—and I’ll tell you one thing, baby, this man’s as good as they come. You trust him, okay? He’ll take care of you.” She pulled me into a hug, but it wasn’t long before she was holding onto my arms and pushing me away. “I’ll be up in a few weeks to help you get settled. You call me if you have any problems, you hear?” She pulled me back in for a kiss and then pushed me lightly toward Asa. “I love you, Callie Rose.”
