Crimson Bound
Page 32
“I thought you could see the Forest.”
He sighed. “Yes, but it’s not hung with signs saying, ‘This way to the secret door.’ I would probably see something if we walked right past the door, but as you might have noticed, this is a rather large Château and it would take us a while to walk through all the rooms.”
“As if reading all the books would be any faster,” Rachelle muttered. Just the thought of trying to puzzle through book after book made her head hurt. Aunt Léonie had taught her to read when she became her apprentice, but she had never been very good at it. “Don’t you think that if the door’s location were written down, somebody else would have found it already?”
“I don’t think it’s written down,” said Armand. “I think maybe some hints are written down, which nobody would have paid any attention to because nobody is interested in Prince Hugo except the people on my mother’s estate. And you.”
His words made sense. But in the end, they weren’t what made her give in. It was the memory of Armand leaning forward as he argued about Tyr and Zisa. Everything he said had been foolish and sanctimonious and wrong, but he had been the only person in that room who cared.
“All right,” she said. “If you think you can find it that way, then try. But you’re doing the reading.”
The library was probably the most modest room in the entire Château, or at least the most modest room that any of the nobility would be caught dead in. There were murals on the ceiling, but the bookshelves lining the walls were made of plain wood. Spurs of lower bookshelves ran out from the walls, dividing the room into seven bays on each side. Afternoon sunlight streamed through the windows.
Armand strode halfway down the room, stopped, and peered intently at the shelves. He traced his hand along the spines of the books, fingers glinting in the sunlight, and then came to a stop at a fat red book. Rachelle stepped forward to pull it off the shelf for him, but before she could, he had tipped it back with his finger and caught it—awkwardly but securely—between his forearms.
“What’s that?” asked Rachelle.
“It’s the diary of a lady who lived at the court a hundred years ago,” said Armand. “Madame du Choissy. She was the niece of the king, but she later married a minor nobleman and disappeared into the countryside.”
There was a table in the center of the room; he set the book down with a thump, and Rachelle stepped closer with the lamp.
“And how does that help us?” she asked.
“She was obsessed with legends of the Great Forest.” Armand flipped the cover of the book open. “And legends surrounding the royal line. If there were any more tales about Prince Hugo in those days, she would know them.”
His eyes were already tracing the text of the book; his voice had gone vague and distracted. He looked and sounded exactly like he was absorbed in looking for an answer, and the very innocence in the set of his shoulders made suspicion worm through Rachelle’s stomach.
The book was handwritten in old, elaborate letters. He could claim the pages said anything he chose, and she’d never know the difference.
She leaned closer. “How convenient that you knew about that specific book just as soon as we needed help.”
“Mm,” said Armand.
Her hands slammed down on the table beside him. “How did you know about it?”
He looked up then. A strand of his pale brown hair had fallen between his eyes—he didn’t wear it neatly curled like so many men of the court. It made him look more real, even now, when he was wearing the bland expression that she had learned was his armor.
“Because I was reading her diary last time I was at Château de Lune,” he said. “Right up until I met a forestborn and got a little bit distracted.”
“You went to Château de Lune and spent your time in the library?”
“Nearly every day,” said Armand. “I learned pretty quickly that memorizing my mother’s library hadn’t actually taught me how to act in a court, and all the lessons she gave me were twenty years old. La Fontaine was the only person who didn’t laugh at me.”
“And then you taught them all a lesson.”
His mouth quirked. “I really don’t think anyone at court has learned anything. Are you done being suspicious now, or do you want to search me for deadly weapons?”
“You are a weapon,” Rachelle muttered, remembering the adoration of the people at his audience and the growing resentment she saw in the streets of Rocamadour every day.
“True enough.” His voice had gone colorless; he looked down at the table. After a moment, he asked, “How is finding that door going to help you? Are you having trouble getting into the Forest on your own?”
“If I asked,” she said quietly and distinctly, “the Great Forest would open up to me this instant, and I could walk into it and have the forestborn finish making me into one of them.”
“Then are you trying to escape them?”
He looked up at her again. Sunlight dappled his face, catching at his cheekbones and glowing through his eyelashes. She couldn’t read his expression, but she almost thought he looked hopeful.
“Don’t imagine,” she said, “that I am anything so kind as you pretend to be.”
If he really was a saint, if he was fool enough to have hope, then she was going to destroy it. The kind of hope that saints had didn’t exist, and she wanted to ruin him. She wanted to drag him into darkness and crush and rend and break him, until all the hope went out of his eyes and there was nothing, nothing, nothing left for anyone to hope.
The air was sweet and cold on her skin. Like the air in the Great Forest.
She turned away abruptly. “Keep reading,” she said, and strode toward the other end of the library. Her joints felt slick and shaky. The hunger for destruction was gone, but she felt hollowed out in its absence.
It was the hunger for the Great Forest. The hunger to become one of the forestborn. The hunger to become more and infinitely more like the Devourer, until there was nothing left in her that remembered being human.
Someday she would lose herself to it. She had always known this. She had mostly stopped fearing it. But now she was almost sick with fear, because she couldn’t lose herself when she was so close, when she finally had a chance to fight the Devourer and win.
Her fingernails dug into her palms. I won’t, she thought. I won’t.
She was at the door now. She leaned her head against the carved wood and sighed.
He sighed. “Yes, but it’s not hung with signs saying, ‘This way to the secret door.’ I would probably see something if we walked right past the door, but as you might have noticed, this is a rather large Château and it would take us a while to walk through all the rooms.”
“As if reading all the books would be any faster,” Rachelle muttered. Just the thought of trying to puzzle through book after book made her head hurt. Aunt Léonie had taught her to read when she became her apprentice, but she had never been very good at it. “Don’t you think that if the door’s location were written down, somebody else would have found it already?”
“I don’t think it’s written down,” said Armand. “I think maybe some hints are written down, which nobody would have paid any attention to because nobody is interested in Prince Hugo except the people on my mother’s estate. And you.”
His words made sense. But in the end, they weren’t what made her give in. It was the memory of Armand leaning forward as he argued about Tyr and Zisa. Everything he said had been foolish and sanctimonious and wrong, but he had been the only person in that room who cared.
“All right,” she said. “If you think you can find it that way, then try. But you’re doing the reading.”
The library was probably the most modest room in the entire Château, or at least the most modest room that any of the nobility would be caught dead in. There were murals on the ceiling, but the bookshelves lining the walls were made of plain wood. Spurs of lower bookshelves ran out from the walls, dividing the room into seven bays on each side. Afternoon sunlight streamed through the windows.
Armand strode halfway down the room, stopped, and peered intently at the shelves. He traced his hand along the spines of the books, fingers glinting in the sunlight, and then came to a stop at a fat red book. Rachelle stepped forward to pull it off the shelf for him, but before she could, he had tipped it back with his finger and caught it—awkwardly but securely—between his forearms.
“What’s that?” asked Rachelle.
“It’s the diary of a lady who lived at the court a hundred years ago,” said Armand. “Madame du Choissy. She was the niece of the king, but she later married a minor nobleman and disappeared into the countryside.”
There was a table in the center of the room; he set the book down with a thump, and Rachelle stepped closer with the lamp.
“And how does that help us?” she asked.
“She was obsessed with legends of the Great Forest.” Armand flipped the cover of the book open. “And legends surrounding the royal line. If there were any more tales about Prince Hugo in those days, she would know them.”
His eyes were already tracing the text of the book; his voice had gone vague and distracted. He looked and sounded exactly like he was absorbed in looking for an answer, and the very innocence in the set of his shoulders made suspicion worm through Rachelle’s stomach.
The book was handwritten in old, elaborate letters. He could claim the pages said anything he chose, and she’d never know the difference.
She leaned closer. “How convenient that you knew about that specific book just as soon as we needed help.”
“Mm,” said Armand.
Her hands slammed down on the table beside him. “How did you know about it?”
He looked up then. A strand of his pale brown hair had fallen between his eyes—he didn’t wear it neatly curled like so many men of the court. It made him look more real, even now, when he was wearing the bland expression that she had learned was his armor.
“Because I was reading her diary last time I was at Château de Lune,” he said. “Right up until I met a forestborn and got a little bit distracted.”
“You went to Château de Lune and spent your time in the library?”
“Nearly every day,” said Armand. “I learned pretty quickly that memorizing my mother’s library hadn’t actually taught me how to act in a court, and all the lessons she gave me were twenty years old. La Fontaine was the only person who didn’t laugh at me.”
“And then you taught them all a lesson.”
His mouth quirked. “I really don’t think anyone at court has learned anything. Are you done being suspicious now, or do you want to search me for deadly weapons?”
“You are a weapon,” Rachelle muttered, remembering the adoration of the people at his audience and the growing resentment she saw in the streets of Rocamadour every day.
“True enough.” His voice had gone colorless; he looked down at the table. After a moment, he asked, “How is finding that door going to help you? Are you having trouble getting into the Forest on your own?”
“If I asked,” she said quietly and distinctly, “the Great Forest would open up to me this instant, and I could walk into it and have the forestborn finish making me into one of them.”
“Then are you trying to escape them?”
He looked up at her again. Sunlight dappled his face, catching at his cheekbones and glowing through his eyelashes. She couldn’t read his expression, but she almost thought he looked hopeful.
“Don’t imagine,” she said, “that I am anything so kind as you pretend to be.”
If he really was a saint, if he was fool enough to have hope, then she was going to destroy it. The kind of hope that saints had didn’t exist, and she wanted to ruin him. She wanted to drag him into darkness and crush and rend and break him, until all the hope went out of his eyes and there was nothing, nothing, nothing left for anyone to hope.
The air was sweet and cold on her skin. Like the air in the Great Forest.
She turned away abruptly. “Keep reading,” she said, and strode toward the other end of the library. Her joints felt slick and shaky. The hunger for destruction was gone, but she felt hollowed out in its absence.
It was the hunger for the Great Forest. The hunger to become one of the forestborn. The hunger to become more and infinitely more like the Devourer, until there was nothing left in her that remembered being human.
Someday she would lose herself to it. She had always known this. She had mostly stopped fearing it. But now she was almost sick with fear, because she couldn’t lose herself when she was so close, when she finally had a chance to fight the Devourer and win.
Her fingernails dug into her palms. I won’t, she thought. I won’t.
She was at the door now. She leaned her head against the carved wood and sighed.
