Damnable Grace
Page 3
I ran a hand over my eyes. The smell of food hit my nostrils, and I dropped my hand to see a full breakfast before me. My stomach growled in appreciation. Ash was still smirking at me, so I nodded and said, “Fine. You’re forgiven.”
“For what? Being sixteen and able to hold my liquor better than you, old man?”
I stuffed my mouth with greasy eggs and bacon and swallowed. “I’ll give you a pass. Only because right now it’d take too much outta me to knock you the fuck out.”
I hoovered my food then sat back, running my hand over my stomach. I winced when my fingers passed over the fresh scratches on my abs. “You know what happened here?”
Ash lowered his fork and wiggled his eyebrows. “Sure do.” He sat back and pretended to think. “She was about five foot nothing, bright-blue hair, and had the biggest tits you’d ever seen.”
I racked my brain trying to remember the club slut, but I could only grab hold of flashes of me fucking her over my bed in the clubhouse . . . and of her ripping the shit out of my chest when I flipped her over and started again.
That and her fake-ass whining. Club sluts. Whores should learn to just lie back and be good little cum deposits without all the fucking high-pitched mewling.
“Fuck,” I groaned.
Ash went quiet, then, looking up at me through his black hair, asked, “You remember what I talked to you about last night?”
I tried to think. Eventually, I gave up and shook my head. “Sorry, kid. Gonna need you to refresh my memory.”
Ash ducked his head, and suddenly the kid he’d been when we found him in that fucking hellhole in West Virginia returned. Lil’ Ash was doing real good of late. The little shit was funny. He was trustworthy. He fitted in with the club. He loved it with the Hangmen, did everything he could to stay, desperate to please, like he thought at any minute we’d tell him to fuck off.
We wouldn’t. He was one of us now. Still, I was sure Ash never let himself believe it. Plus, the kid loved his brother. And Flame . . . well, Flame was fucking Flame. But I knew that brother better than anyone. He loved Ash, just had fuck-all capability of showing or telling him so.
“I . . . I told you I was interested in the Marines. Scout Sniper MOS, like you.”
I didn’t expect his words. So I didn’t expect the fucking iron bar that slammed into my stomach when he spoke them. I froze, staring at Ash, his head down, hands wringing together on the tabletop in nerves.
“You wanna join the Corps?” My throat was clogged, and it was a damn battle to get my sentence out. “You’re only sixteen.”
“I . . . I know, but you’ve been teaching me to shoot for months now, and you said it yourself: I’m good.”
“You are good, fucking amazing, in fact, but you’re still in school.” Ash nodded, but I could see he was upset at my reaction. I leaned forward. “You ain’t liking school?”
“It’s all right.”
I sighed, working to keep my shit together. This conversation was too familiar. My blood turned to ice in my veins, and I felt as if two massive hands were choking me the fuck out. “Ash,” I said quietly, watching his face fall. “Look at me.”
He did what I said. In all the months he’d lived with me, the kid had never done a thing wrong. Always did as I said. In that respect he’d make a fucking awesome Marine—obedient, disciplined. But I wasn’t about to let that happen on my watch.
Not a fucking a chance.
“You okay?” Ash said.
I shifted in my seat. “You’re smart, kid. Clever. But you’re still young. I know you don’t think so, or at least don’t feel it. Fuck, after what you’ve been through, I get it. You ain’t a normal teenager. Ain’t obsessed with chasing pussy and whatever the fuck other sixteen-year-olds do. But I ain’t signing off on you joining the Corps early. Ain’t happening.”
Ash looked out the window. I continued, “And I’m sure as shit that Flame ain’t gonna let you join up either.” Ash’s head whipped around to me, and a surprised look formed on his face. “Our brother wouldn’t handle you leaving, so how about we give him no reason to freak out on us, yeah?”
“Flame?” Ash said in confusion. “I . . .” His shoulders sagged. “I ain’t all that sure he’d mind.”
And there it was. The reason Ash was looking to me for Marine career advice. I took Ash’s half-full cup of coffee and downed the hot liquid. “I get he don’t speak much to you. I get that he spends most of his time with Madds. But I’m telling you now, that psycho fucker loves you more than he’ll ever be able to say. Right?”
Ash swallowed, and fuck if I didn’t see his eyes starting to water up. “You think?”
I put my hand on his shoulder. “You’re one of the only people he allows near him. There’s Madds, of course, because she’s his bitch and got through to him when no other fucker could. There’s me and Vike. That history goes way back—we’ve seen and been through a lot of shit together.” I squeezed his shoulder harder. “Then there’s you.” Ash sucked in a sharp breath and exhaled slowly. “He’s a Hangman through and through, would do anything for his brothers, but he’s never let the rest of them in like he has us.” I gestured out the window, to our small cluster of cabins deep in the Hangmen compound’s land. “This, right here, is what keeps him from breaking apart. And believe it or not, you’re a huge part of that now too.”
The vise around my throat eased when I saw a flicker of a smile hit the kid’s pierced lips. “Right now, kid, you’re the fourth member of our fucked-up little trio.” I smiled. “And I ain’t gonna cope with nuclear Flame when we tell him I signed off on your enlistment. I’m kind of a fan of my cock, and I’d prefer to keep it far away from your brother’s serrated knife and more in tight, wet pussies.”
Ash laughed, and I smiled in relief, pushing my empty dish in his direction. “Now, get to it. These dishes ain’t gonna clean themselves.”
Ash got up from the table, but just as he’d gathered the dishes in his hands, I stopped him by the elbow. “I thought you liked working on bikes anyway? You spend hours working with Flame on his Harley or in the shop with Tank. Tank says you’re the shit, could be the best damn mechanic we got. You’re in the Hangmen, brother; you’re set for life.”
“For what? Being sixteen and able to hold my liquor better than you, old man?”
I stuffed my mouth with greasy eggs and bacon and swallowed. “I’ll give you a pass. Only because right now it’d take too much outta me to knock you the fuck out.”
I hoovered my food then sat back, running my hand over my stomach. I winced when my fingers passed over the fresh scratches on my abs. “You know what happened here?”
Ash lowered his fork and wiggled his eyebrows. “Sure do.” He sat back and pretended to think. “She was about five foot nothing, bright-blue hair, and had the biggest tits you’d ever seen.”
I racked my brain trying to remember the club slut, but I could only grab hold of flashes of me fucking her over my bed in the clubhouse . . . and of her ripping the shit out of my chest when I flipped her over and started again.
That and her fake-ass whining. Club sluts. Whores should learn to just lie back and be good little cum deposits without all the fucking high-pitched mewling.
“Fuck,” I groaned.
Ash went quiet, then, looking up at me through his black hair, asked, “You remember what I talked to you about last night?”
I tried to think. Eventually, I gave up and shook my head. “Sorry, kid. Gonna need you to refresh my memory.”
Ash ducked his head, and suddenly the kid he’d been when we found him in that fucking hellhole in West Virginia returned. Lil’ Ash was doing real good of late. The little shit was funny. He was trustworthy. He fitted in with the club. He loved it with the Hangmen, did everything he could to stay, desperate to please, like he thought at any minute we’d tell him to fuck off.
We wouldn’t. He was one of us now. Still, I was sure Ash never let himself believe it. Plus, the kid loved his brother. And Flame . . . well, Flame was fucking Flame. But I knew that brother better than anyone. He loved Ash, just had fuck-all capability of showing or telling him so.
“I . . . I told you I was interested in the Marines. Scout Sniper MOS, like you.”
I didn’t expect his words. So I didn’t expect the fucking iron bar that slammed into my stomach when he spoke them. I froze, staring at Ash, his head down, hands wringing together on the tabletop in nerves.
“You wanna join the Corps?” My throat was clogged, and it was a damn battle to get my sentence out. “You’re only sixteen.”
“I . . . I know, but you’ve been teaching me to shoot for months now, and you said it yourself: I’m good.”
“You are good, fucking amazing, in fact, but you’re still in school.” Ash nodded, but I could see he was upset at my reaction. I leaned forward. “You ain’t liking school?”
“It’s all right.”
I sighed, working to keep my shit together. This conversation was too familiar. My blood turned to ice in my veins, and I felt as if two massive hands were choking me the fuck out. “Ash,” I said quietly, watching his face fall. “Look at me.”
He did what I said. In all the months he’d lived with me, the kid had never done a thing wrong. Always did as I said. In that respect he’d make a fucking awesome Marine—obedient, disciplined. But I wasn’t about to let that happen on my watch.
Not a fucking a chance.
“You okay?” Ash said.
I shifted in my seat. “You’re smart, kid. Clever. But you’re still young. I know you don’t think so, or at least don’t feel it. Fuck, after what you’ve been through, I get it. You ain’t a normal teenager. Ain’t obsessed with chasing pussy and whatever the fuck other sixteen-year-olds do. But I ain’t signing off on you joining the Corps early. Ain’t happening.”
Ash looked out the window. I continued, “And I’m sure as shit that Flame ain’t gonna let you join up either.” Ash’s head whipped around to me, and a surprised look formed on his face. “Our brother wouldn’t handle you leaving, so how about we give him no reason to freak out on us, yeah?”
“Flame?” Ash said in confusion. “I . . .” His shoulders sagged. “I ain’t all that sure he’d mind.”
And there it was. The reason Ash was looking to me for Marine career advice. I took Ash’s half-full cup of coffee and downed the hot liquid. “I get he don’t speak much to you. I get that he spends most of his time with Madds. But I’m telling you now, that psycho fucker loves you more than he’ll ever be able to say. Right?”
Ash swallowed, and fuck if I didn’t see his eyes starting to water up. “You think?”
I put my hand on his shoulder. “You’re one of the only people he allows near him. There’s Madds, of course, because she’s his bitch and got through to him when no other fucker could. There’s me and Vike. That history goes way back—we’ve seen and been through a lot of shit together.” I squeezed his shoulder harder. “Then there’s you.” Ash sucked in a sharp breath and exhaled slowly. “He’s a Hangman through and through, would do anything for his brothers, but he’s never let the rest of them in like he has us.” I gestured out the window, to our small cluster of cabins deep in the Hangmen compound’s land. “This, right here, is what keeps him from breaking apart. And believe it or not, you’re a huge part of that now too.”
The vise around my throat eased when I saw a flicker of a smile hit the kid’s pierced lips. “Right now, kid, you’re the fourth member of our fucked-up little trio.” I smiled. “And I ain’t gonna cope with nuclear Flame when we tell him I signed off on your enlistment. I’m kind of a fan of my cock, and I’d prefer to keep it far away from your brother’s serrated knife and more in tight, wet pussies.”
Ash laughed, and I smiled in relief, pushing my empty dish in his direction. “Now, get to it. These dishes ain’t gonna clean themselves.”
Ash got up from the table, but just as he’d gathered the dishes in his hands, I stopped him by the elbow. “I thought you liked working on bikes anyway? You spend hours working with Flame on his Harley or in the shop with Tank. Tank says you’re the shit, could be the best damn mechanic we got. You’re in the Hangmen, brother; you’re set for life.”
