Damnable Grace
Page 94
I looked into his eyes. “I went to the doctor yesterday with Lilah. I was given the all-clear, as they say.”
He searched my eyes, then moved his hand to my cheek. “Even so, not sure you’re ready in there.” He tapped my head with his free hand. I closed my eyes, letting the fact of how much he cared for me take root.
A strange concept indeed.
I let my forehead press against his and spoke from my heart. “I need you . . .” I did not want Meister’s touch to be the last on my body any longer. “There is only one man’s touch I ever want on my body again—given freely, and lovingly.” I met his dark gaze. “Yours.”
“Red,” AK murmured. I led him to our bedroom, closing the door behind us. I unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them off his legs. I stepped back as AK stood before me, gloriously naked.
I slipped my jacket, tank and bra from my torso, then slid my leather pants down my legs. I never broke AK’s stare as I removed my panties and stood up straight.
“Beautiful,” AK said, his voice raspy, as I held out my hand. He took it without hesitation, and I led him to the bed.
I lay down and he lay beside me. I stared into his eyes and pressed my mouth against his own. I let my lips worship his lips and let my heart fall into perfect sync with his.
I moved over his chest, moaning as his rough hands landed on my back. His soft tongue pushed into my mouth, and I could taste him. I felt his hands on my skin, felt his heat merge with mine. I felt it all. I allowed myself to feel it all. I did not block out a single second.
Breaking from his mouth, I kissed down his neck and chest. I kissed his torso and moved down to the muscled V that led to his manhood. AK groaned as his legs shifted in anticipation. Taking his length in my hand, I looked up into his eyes to see them glazed and dazed as he stared right back at me.
“I love you,” I whispered. His eyes flared as I took his manhood in my mouth, slowly and gently.
“Yeah, Red,” he hissed and ran his hands through my hair with the softest touch. I moaned as his taste burst on my tongue. My eyes closed, and I savored the feel of him like this with me. “Come here,” AK said. I crawled up over his body, confused. “Wanna taste you too.” He guided my hips toward him until my legs were over his face, my stomach pressed against his. I rolled my head back when his mouth came between my legs. His tongue explored me, and I stroked his length in my hand. Needing to taste him again, I bent down and took him back in my mouth. I licked him and sucked him until I could no longer take the feel of his tongue at my core. My cheek flattened on his thigh as he held me in place and licked me until I broke apart into a million pieces, falling slowly back into place.
AK lifted me and laid me down onto the mattress, then climbed above me. He spoke no words as he placed his hands on either side of my head and moved between my legs. I brushed my hands through his hair, locking his dark stare as he pushed inside me. He was as gentle as a feather as he filled me, carefully, beautifully . . . all so I felt no pain.
“You good?” he asked.
“Yes,” I replied.
I ran my hands over his arms as he rocked back and forth. His warm breath ghosted over my face, the heat from his body kept me safe, and tears came to my eyes at the reverent expression on his face. If I had not heard the words from his mouth, I would have known he loved me by the way he stared into my eyes. By the ease and gentleness in his movements, and by the way he cradled me close. As if I were precious. As if I somehow made him complete.
He completed me too.
“I love you.” I needed him to hear it as many times I needed to say it.
“Love you too, Red.”
I smiled, then I spoke what lay in my soul. “Before this, I did not know that home was a heartbeat. Or two, in my case. Beating in perfect sync with my own. Yours and Sapphira’s, the cleansing lullaby to my sins.”
“Red . . .”
“Repentance is a form of sorrow, AK. Grace is a form of joy. We have shed tears for every sin we have sowed. It is now time for us to smile. Smile and chase the light. Embrace the blessings we have been given. Together.”
“Yeah,” AK said, and I knew I could love no greater than I did in that moment.
And we made love. As the minutes passed, he took me once again, eradicating any man from my past. Healing the scars my body had endured, and burrowing his heart inside mine.
As our breathing became labored and we followed the blinding lights of our pleasure, I let the tears fall thick and fast. Healing tears of joy, washing away all the shame and guilt remaining in our hearts. And as AK laid his head against my shoulder, I held him close, vowing to never ever let him go.
“I am forever thankful for the day you tied me to that tree.” I felt him still.
AK lifted his head and smiled a sweet, confused smile.
“It was the first act of grace I had ever been given. And as I stared into your eyes, I saw myself. My reflection looking back at me . . . my wounded soul.”
“Yeah,” he rasped. I knew he was telling me he had felt it too.
“The devil’s man with the angel eyes.”
I breathed. He breathed. We kissed. Broke apart. “The damned souls who together found grace.”
“Red,” he whispered and held me close to his heart. And I closed my eyes and smiled. Because for once, there were many things to feel happy about.
At last.
Epilogue
AK
Two weeks later . . .
Ky and Styx sat awkwardly in their seats as we waited for them to speak. Church had been called.
“That wasn’t the first time we’ve encountered Garcia in Mexico.” Ky shifted in his seat, and Styx nodded at him to continue. “Y’all didn’t know I had a sister until I got hitched to Li. Elysia, or Sia as we call her.” He shrugged. “She wasn’t brought up in this life, so we never talked about her.” He paused. “But when she was seventeen, me and Styx had to get her out of some trouble . . . trouble caused by Garcia.”
“What kind of trouble?” Hush asked. The brother was tense. Fuck, so were we all.
Ky’s jaw clenched, and I could see he was one second from losing it. “She got involved with him. Then he took her. Y’all saw what he deals in. Trafficking motherfucker. Me and Styx got her out before it was too late.”
“He’s been looking for her ever since,” Styx signed, then took a shot of his Jack. “Sia’s been in hiding all this time. That’s why she ain’t here often. We can’t risk it.”
He searched my eyes, then moved his hand to my cheek. “Even so, not sure you’re ready in there.” He tapped my head with his free hand. I closed my eyes, letting the fact of how much he cared for me take root.
A strange concept indeed.
I let my forehead press against his and spoke from my heart. “I need you . . .” I did not want Meister’s touch to be the last on my body any longer. “There is only one man’s touch I ever want on my body again—given freely, and lovingly.” I met his dark gaze. “Yours.”
“Red,” AK murmured. I led him to our bedroom, closing the door behind us. I unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them off his legs. I stepped back as AK stood before me, gloriously naked.
I slipped my jacket, tank and bra from my torso, then slid my leather pants down my legs. I never broke AK’s stare as I removed my panties and stood up straight.
“Beautiful,” AK said, his voice raspy, as I held out my hand. He took it without hesitation, and I led him to the bed.
I lay down and he lay beside me. I stared into his eyes and pressed my mouth against his own. I let my lips worship his lips and let my heart fall into perfect sync with his.
I moved over his chest, moaning as his rough hands landed on my back. His soft tongue pushed into my mouth, and I could taste him. I felt his hands on my skin, felt his heat merge with mine. I felt it all. I allowed myself to feel it all. I did not block out a single second.
Breaking from his mouth, I kissed down his neck and chest. I kissed his torso and moved down to the muscled V that led to his manhood. AK groaned as his legs shifted in anticipation. Taking his length in my hand, I looked up into his eyes to see them glazed and dazed as he stared right back at me.
“I love you,” I whispered. His eyes flared as I took his manhood in my mouth, slowly and gently.
“Yeah, Red,” he hissed and ran his hands through my hair with the softest touch. I moaned as his taste burst on my tongue. My eyes closed, and I savored the feel of him like this with me. “Come here,” AK said. I crawled up over his body, confused. “Wanna taste you too.” He guided my hips toward him until my legs were over his face, my stomach pressed against his. I rolled my head back when his mouth came between my legs. His tongue explored me, and I stroked his length in my hand. Needing to taste him again, I bent down and took him back in my mouth. I licked him and sucked him until I could no longer take the feel of his tongue at my core. My cheek flattened on his thigh as he held me in place and licked me until I broke apart into a million pieces, falling slowly back into place.
AK lifted me and laid me down onto the mattress, then climbed above me. He spoke no words as he placed his hands on either side of my head and moved between my legs. I brushed my hands through his hair, locking his dark stare as he pushed inside me. He was as gentle as a feather as he filled me, carefully, beautifully . . . all so I felt no pain.
“You good?” he asked.
“Yes,” I replied.
I ran my hands over his arms as he rocked back and forth. His warm breath ghosted over my face, the heat from his body kept me safe, and tears came to my eyes at the reverent expression on his face. If I had not heard the words from his mouth, I would have known he loved me by the way he stared into my eyes. By the ease and gentleness in his movements, and by the way he cradled me close. As if I were precious. As if I somehow made him complete.
He completed me too.
“I love you.” I needed him to hear it as many times I needed to say it.
“Love you too, Red.”
I smiled, then I spoke what lay in my soul. “Before this, I did not know that home was a heartbeat. Or two, in my case. Beating in perfect sync with my own. Yours and Sapphira’s, the cleansing lullaby to my sins.”
“Red . . .”
“Repentance is a form of sorrow, AK. Grace is a form of joy. We have shed tears for every sin we have sowed. It is now time for us to smile. Smile and chase the light. Embrace the blessings we have been given. Together.”
“Yeah,” AK said, and I knew I could love no greater than I did in that moment.
And we made love. As the minutes passed, he took me once again, eradicating any man from my past. Healing the scars my body had endured, and burrowing his heart inside mine.
As our breathing became labored and we followed the blinding lights of our pleasure, I let the tears fall thick and fast. Healing tears of joy, washing away all the shame and guilt remaining in our hearts. And as AK laid his head against my shoulder, I held him close, vowing to never ever let him go.
“I am forever thankful for the day you tied me to that tree.” I felt him still.
AK lifted his head and smiled a sweet, confused smile.
“It was the first act of grace I had ever been given. And as I stared into your eyes, I saw myself. My reflection looking back at me . . . my wounded soul.”
“Yeah,” he rasped. I knew he was telling me he had felt it too.
“The devil’s man with the angel eyes.”
I breathed. He breathed. We kissed. Broke apart. “The damned souls who together found grace.”
“Red,” he whispered and held me close to his heart. And I closed my eyes and smiled. Because for once, there were many things to feel happy about.
At last.
Epilogue
AK
Two weeks later . . .
Ky and Styx sat awkwardly in their seats as we waited for them to speak. Church had been called.
“That wasn’t the first time we’ve encountered Garcia in Mexico.” Ky shifted in his seat, and Styx nodded at him to continue. “Y’all didn’t know I had a sister until I got hitched to Li. Elysia, or Sia as we call her.” He shrugged. “She wasn’t brought up in this life, so we never talked about her.” He paused. “But when she was seventeen, me and Styx had to get her out of some trouble . . . trouble caused by Garcia.”
“What kind of trouble?” Hush asked. The brother was tense. Fuck, so were we all.
Ky’s jaw clenched, and I could see he was one second from losing it. “She got involved with him. Then he took her. Y’all saw what he deals in. Trafficking motherfucker. Me and Styx got her out before it was too late.”
“He’s been looking for her ever since,” Styx signed, then took a shot of his Jack. “Sia’s been in hiding all this time. That’s why she ain’t here often. We can’t risk it.”
