Damnable Grace
Page 97
“Hopefully,” I said.
“She doing better now?” he asked, serious.
“Yeah. She’s better. Now realize she wasn’t addicted to drink or smack. She was addicted to forgetting all the shit in her life. Forgetting the fact she had a daughter she was banned from.” I thought of the past couple of weeks, of her smiling face, her fucking kind heart. Her on top of me telling me she loved my sorry ass. My chest filled with warmth. “She’s good.”
“She’s ginger.” Vike smirked. “What?” he said when I raised my brows. “We gingers are a fucking unique species. Nails. We’re all fucking nails. Made from pure Viking stock.” I laughed, hearing Flame do the same. “And you sure do have a thing for us. Needing me in your life, then Phebe. Shit, brother, if you were that hard-up for freckles I would have let you see my anaconda years ago.”
“I’ve already seen it a million times . . . not by choice.” I shook my head.
“And every fucking time you were impressed.”
“AK.” Flame nodded toward the door of the lodge. My heart fucking pounded, near breaking from my chest, when I saw Phebe holding Sapphira’s hand, slowly leading her outside. Saff was nervously looking around the backyard, looking as if she were about to bolt any second. I saw my brothers all look her way, giving her a nod of their heads before getting back to whatever they’d been doing.
Phebe led her toward the other cult bitches on the other side of the fire.
Vike elbowed me in the side. “Look about,” he said and pointed to Lil’ Ash. Ash was frozen, beer suspended in the air, as he watched Sapphira walk past him and sit next to Lilah and Grace. I shook my head, groaning, when Zane and Slash tried to pull his attention. But his huge fucking black eyes wouldn’t get the fuck off Saff. She clearly saw it too, as she looked up, gave him a small fucking stunning ghost of a smile, then ducked her head again. Ash looked as if he wanted to go over and speak to her, but he just sat back, never taking his gaze off her.
“Ash just got a huge fucking boner for Saff,” Vike shouted. Then he jumped from his seat. “Gotta go and rip into him over this shit. Priceless!” Vike rushed to Ash, who was still staring at Saff, like his eyes were glued on her or some shit. “Ash! Me and you need to talk about a new development, fucker!”
Fuck my life.
Vike sat down next to Ash, and I saw the kid cover his face in embarrassment when Vike threw his arm around his neck and started giving him shit.
I turned to Flame. He was watching his kid brother too, no emotion in his eyes. “He’s moving in with you?”
Flame tensed. His eyes drifted to Maddie, who was sitting with Mae, feeling her bump. “Yeah.”
“You asked him?”
He nodded and took a sip of his beer. “Maddie thought it was time.”
“And you?”
“I agreed.”
“You gonna be good with him being there?”
Flame’s head dropped, and I knew he was having doubts. “Don’t know. I can’t . . . I can’t talk to him like you. Don’t know what to do if he gets upset or shit. Probably fuck him up.”
“Nah. You’ll be good,” I said, and Flame lifted his head.
“Yeah?”
“I know it.” Flame’s hands tightened on his bottle. “He told me you talked to him after the shooting.” Flame nodded. “That was good.”
“It’s what you did to me. Just copied you.”
“I know. So just keep doing shit like that.”
Flame grew silent for a few seconds, until he said, “Thanks.” I looked at my brother. He never said thanks for anything. His jaw clenched. “Thanks for watching him . . . when I couldn’t. When my head . . .”
“Always.” Clearly feeling too much emotion, Flame jumped off the chair without a word and bee-lined straight for Maddie. She was up and on his lap in seconds. I watched the brother calm the minute her hand was in his.
Needing a piss, I went into the lodge. A.A. Bondy’s “When The Devil’s Loose” started playing outside. I grabbed another beer and moved to the doorway, and then I stopped right in my tracks on the mat. Phebe was on her feet, dancing around the fire with Grace. Just like the first night she had danced for me, her hands were in the air and her eyes were closed, a fucking heartbreaking smile on her lips. Grace imitated her as Sapphira smiled from under lowered eyes, watching her mom from the safety of her seat beside her aunt. Anyone could see how much she loved her with just one look.
And I couldn’t tear my eyes from Red. I watched her through the whole song. Then when the next song played, her eyes snapped open and immediately sought me out. As Bowie’s “Heroes” came on and Phebe found me there, watching, a loud laugh, fucking raw happiness, came from her throat. And my bitch never took her eyes off me as she danced.
Stunning.
Beautiful.
Mine.
And fucking free.
I drank my beer as the song played out. Then I looked down to the mat at my feet. Two pairs of boots still sat there, shined to perfection, on either side. As I looked over the backyard, seeing my brothers chilling, seeing Zane laughing and happy, I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. “We’re okay, Dev,” I whispered so only he could hear. I swallowed and felt a smile come onto my lips. “We’re all gonna be fucking okay.”
A hand slipped into mine, and when I opened my eyes, Phebe was before me. “You good?” she asked, using my own words on me, a fucking twinkle in her eye.
So I took her mouth.
Felt her moan.
“Yeah, Red. I’m good . . .”
I breathed. Exhaled, then said, “Sunrise . . . I’m just embracing our motherfucking sunrise.”
The End
“She doing better now?” he asked, serious.
“Yeah. She’s better. Now realize she wasn’t addicted to drink or smack. She was addicted to forgetting all the shit in her life. Forgetting the fact she had a daughter she was banned from.” I thought of the past couple of weeks, of her smiling face, her fucking kind heart. Her on top of me telling me she loved my sorry ass. My chest filled with warmth. “She’s good.”
“She’s ginger.” Vike smirked. “What?” he said when I raised my brows. “We gingers are a fucking unique species. Nails. We’re all fucking nails. Made from pure Viking stock.” I laughed, hearing Flame do the same. “And you sure do have a thing for us. Needing me in your life, then Phebe. Shit, brother, if you were that hard-up for freckles I would have let you see my anaconda years ago.”
“I’ve already seen it a million times . . . not by choice.” I shook my head.
“And every fucking time you were impressed.”
“AK.” Flame nodded toward the door of the lodge. My heart fucking pounded, near breaking from my chest, when I saw Phebe holding Sapphira’s hand, slowly leading her outside. Saff was nervously looking around the backyard, looking as if she were about to bolt any second. I saw my brothers all look her way, giving her a nod of their heads before getting back to whatever they’d been doing.
Phebe led her toward the other cult bitches on the other side of the fire.
Vike elbowed me in the side. “Look about,” he said and pointed to Lil’ Ash. Ash was frozen, beer suspended in the air, as he watched Sapphira walk past him and sit next to Lilah and Grace. I shook my head, groaning, when Zane and Slash tried to pull his attention. But his huge fucking black eyes wouldn’t get the fuck off Saff. She clearly saw it too, as she looked up, gave him a small fucking stunning ghost of a smile, then ducked her head again. Ash looked as if he wanted to go over and speak to her, but he just sat back, never taking his gaze off her.
“Ash just got a huge fucking boner for Saff,” Vike shouted. Then he jumped from his seat. “Gotta go and rip into him over this shit. Priceless!” Vike rushed to Ash, who was still staring at Saff, like his eyes were glued on her or some shit. “Ash! Me and you need to talk about a new development, fucker!”
Fuck my life.
Vike sat down next to Ash, and I saw the kid cover his face in embarrassment when Vike threw his arm around his neck and started giving him shit.
I turned to Flame. He was watching his kid brother too, no emotion in his eyes. “He’s moving in with you?”
Flame tensed. His eyes drifted to Maddie, who was sitting with Mae, feeling her bump. “Yeah.”
“You asked him?”
He nodded and took a sip of his beer. “Maddie thought it was time.”
“And you?”
“I agreed.”
“You gonna be good with him being there?”
Flame’s head dropped, and I knew he was having doubts. “Don’t know. I can’t . . . I can’t talk to him like you. Don’t know what to do if he gets upset or shit. Probably fuck him up.”
“Nah. You’ll be good,” I said, and Flame lifted his head.
“Yeah?”
“I know it.” Flame’s hands tightened on his bottle. “He told me you talked to him after the shooting.” Flame nodded. “That was good.”
“It’s what you did to me. Just copied you.”
“I know. So just keep doing shit like that.”
Flame grew silent for a few seconds, until he said, “Thanks.” I looked at my brother. He never said thanks for anything. His jaw clenched. “Thanks for watching him . . . when I couldn’t. When my head . . .”
“Always.” Clearly feeling too much emotion, Flame jumped off the chair without a word and bee-lined straight for Maddie. She was up and on his lap in seconds. I watched the brother calm the minute her hand was in his.
Needing a piss, I went into the lodge. A.A. Bondy’s “When The Devil’s Loose” started playing outside. I grabbed another beer and moved to the doorway, and then I stopped right in my tracks on the mat. Phebe was on her feet, dancing around the fire with Grace. Just like the first night she had danced for me, her hands were in the air and her eyes were closed, a fucking heartbreaking smile on her lips. Grace imitated her as Sapphira smiled from under lowered eyes, watching her mom from the safety of her seat beside her aunt. Anyone could see how much she loved her with just one look.
And I couldn’t tear my eyes from Red. I watched her through the whole song. Then when the next song played, her eyes snapped open and immediately sought me out. As Bowie’s “Heroes” came on and Phebe found me there, watching, a loud laugh, fucking raw happiness, came from her throat. And my bitch never took her eyes off me as she danced.
Stunning.
Beautiful.
Mine.
And fucking free.
I drank my beer as the song played out. Then I looked down to the mat at my feet. Two pairs of boots still sat there, shined to perfection, on either side. As I looked over the backyard, seeing my brothers chilling, seeing Zane laughing and happy, I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. “We’re okay, Dev,” I whispered so only he could hear. I swallowed and felt a smile come onto my lips. “We’re all gonna be fucking okay.”
A hand slipped into mine, and when I opened my eyes, Phebe was before me. “You good?” she asked, using my own words on me, a fucking twinkle in her eye.
So I took her mouth.
Felt her moan.
“Yeah, Red. I’m good . . .”
I breathed. Exhaled, then said, “Sunrise . . . I’m just embracing our motherfucking sunrise.”
The End
