Damsel Under Stress

Page 99

She took the document from me, tossing it casually into a nearby in-box. “I’m sure he’ll look at it when he has time.”
That was the last straw. If I didn’t still have the remnants of a killer headache, I’d have been up for an all-out hair-pulling and face-clawing catfight. Before I realized what I was doing, I’d snatched the plan back out of the in-box. “Look, I don’t know what delusions of grandeur you have going on, but you’re just filling in for my clerical tasks until I finish catching the bad guys yet again. Until you’ve been a big part of stopping the latest evil scheme a couple of times, you don’t stand a chance of taking my job, so you can get over yourself.”
She was struck speechless, which was rather satisfying. It would have been even more satisfying if her elbow had bumped the tall Starbucks cup next to her computer and sent her morning latte into her laptop’s keyboard, but I couldn’t ask for everything. While she was still trying to come up with a snappy comeback, I said, “Now, I’ll give this to Trix to give to Mr. Mervyn.” Then while I stood there watching, the coffee cup tipped over, seemingly of its own accord. It took her a second to realize what was happening, and then she shrieked as she grabbed the cup and then tried to mop up the coffee.
In spite of her frantic reaction, the results were less than spectacular. A minor explosion, or at least some sparks and noise, would have been more fun. Just then, the laptop keyboard blew up, shooting keys and sparks everywhere. Ah, that was more like it, I thought. “It looks like you’re too busy to deal with this at the moment, anyway,” I shot over my shoulder as I left her to damage control.
“That must have gone well,” Trix remarked as I returned to her desk. “Usually you look frustrated instead of satisfied when you get away from Kim.”
“Have you ever had something you wish for really happen? I mean, where you think it would be great if something would happen, and then it does?”
“Of course I have. I can do magic.”
“No, not with you making it happen. I mean like when someone passes you like you’re sitting still on the freeway, and you think it would be terrific if there was a state trooper with a radar gun around the next bend, and then when you get around the next bend you see a state trooper with that guy pulled over. It gives you faith that there is some justice in the universe.”
“I take it Kim just got pulled over?”
“In a way. She had a cup of coffee next to her computer, and her elbow was awfully close to it while she did her superior act with me. I couldn’t help but think that it would be funny if while she was playing power games with me, her elbow hit that cup and knocked it over onto her keyboard. And then the cup fell over, just like that. She’s still in there trying to salvage the computer, but it may be a lost cause, considering it blew up.”
She sighed wistfully. “Oh, I wish I’d been there to see that. Too bad you couldn’t get it on video, but I have a happy picture in my mind. That may be enough to get me through the rest of the day.”
“While you’re daydreaming, can you give this to the boss next time he emerges from his cave?” I handed her the plan.
“Sure thing. I owe you for giving me my daily dose of motivation.”
On my way back down to R&D, I passed a man who gave me an appreciative leer. “Oh, drop dead,” I muttered under my breath as I kept walking. A moment later, I heard a horrible choking sound behind me. I spun around to see that man doubled over, coughing and sputtering while his face turned redder and redder. A bag of cheddar popcorn lay spilled on the ground in front of him. I might not have liked the way he’d looked at me, but I couldn’t leave him to die. I ran over, stood behind him, and whacked him on the back. He was still choking, so I wrapped my arms around him and did the Heimlich maneuver. Soon, he was breathing normally.
I let myself breathe more normally, as well, once the disaster was averted. Then I looked up and saw that a crowd had gathered. While the women rushed to check on the choker, the men all studied me intently. I overheard one whisper to another, “Well, she did act like she wanted to wrap herself around him.”
I ignored it and turned away to head back to Owen’s lab, then almost choked, myself, when I heard another one mutter, “You know, she’s not nearly as cute out of costume. I guess I’d still do her if she threw herself at me, but I’m not gonna compete for her. Palmer can have her, but can you picture him keeping her after all that?”
Another one snorted, “Yeah, our resident boy scout isn’t going to be into that stuff.”