Dare To Love
Page 19
She’d been used! Jake had been right all along. About everything. About her father, about the construction permits. Her father had used her, had used Jake.
Dear God, the man was a monster. All these years she had stood by him, hoping that somehow he would see her…that he would love her. That somehow he would wake up and be the father she had always wanted, had always needed.
It would never happen. She had made a critical mistake.
He didn’t love her. Her father didn’t love her. No man who loved his child would do this.
She was shaking so hard she almost couldn’t remain upright. She wanted to run, down the hall, down the elevator and out the door, not face this. Never face him again.
But she couldn’t. She was a Fairchild. The thought made her shudder, but she couldn’t hide from who she was.
The frightened child craving love was pushed aside, replaced instead by the angry woman who didn’t need anything from the man inside that room.
She had to pull it together. Fury gave her focus for what she had to do. Taking in a shuddering breath, she shored up her strength and pivoted, stepping into the room with a smile plastered on her face.
“Oh, Lucille. I didn’t expect you back so soon,” her father said, making sure his voice sounded weak and pathetic.
“I’m sure you didn’t, Father.” She nodded to Alex. “Alex.”
“Lucy. I just came by to—”
“Celebrate?” she finished for him. At her father’s shocked look, she said, “Oh, I heard everything you and Alex said, Father, so don’t bother playing the innocent cardiac patient any longer.”
She turned to Alex. “I would sooner marry a monkey than marry you, Alex. Your touch makes my skin crawl. Don’t ever darken my door with your presence again.” With a tilt of her head, she said, “Get out of my sight before I start screaming.” Alex made a hasty exit and she turned her attention on her father. “As for you.
Today, I’m embarrassed to call myself a Fairchild. You are mean, manipulative and a vicious bastard, Raymond. No, I will never call you father again, because the term is an endearment and I’ve lost all heart for you. To treat Jake, and to treat me, like pieces on a chessboard that you can move at your own pleasure, is vile and despicable. You are lower than the scum in the gutters.
“I love, Jake. I know you don’t understand that because the word love is foreign to you. I don’t deserve him, because he’s better than me. Better than us. You’ll never get that. But now, thanks to you, and thanks to my blind stupidity, I’ve lost him. The only man I ever loved. And I can’t even really blame you for that, because it’s my fault.”
“Lucille, I—”
“Do not ever speak to me again. You are no longer my father. Or my business partner. I’ll send someone for my things at the house. I will not live with you, and I will not work with you. I do not in any way wish to be associated with a man who is so utterly heartless. You make me sick.”
She went to the closet, grabbed her purse, and walked out, ignoring the stricken, pale look on her father’s face, along with the tears she was sure had been manufactured for her benefit.
Fake. It was all fake. The man didn’t have a genuine emotion to spare for her. He never had. He never would. That realization hurt much more than she ever thought it could.
She had spent her entire life doing everything she could to earn his love, his attention. And for what? So he could manipulate her, treat her like a commodity?
Her eyes were open now.
Had she hurt him by what she’d said, by walking out on him? She doubted it.
Maybe irritated him because his scheme didn’t work and he hadn’t won. And that made her sad.
Why had her father turned out this way, so devoid of emotion, of caring?
Not her problem. She shouldn’t care. He would reap what he sewed, and she would feel no pity for him. She’d sided with him for far too long, bought into his manipulations, and it had cost her everything.
Everything that had been so important to her.
Including the man she loved.
Jake was hoping he wouldn’t run into Lucy when he came up to Raymond Fairchild’s room. He wasn’t going there to see her, anyway. He was going to see Raymond. And he wasn’t going to beg for leniency. He didn’t deserve it. Not after what he’d done.
But he did need to face what he’d done head on, and offer an apology.
Though he wouldn’t be surprised if Lucy’s father didn’t throw him out on the spot.
Or have him arrested for assault. In fact, he was surprised that hadn’t already happened, considering Fairchild’s connections.
The floor was quiet as he walked toward the room. He paused, listening for the sounds of conversation. There weren’t any. It was late afternoon so he figured maybe Lucy was seeing to things at the office. He peeked around the corner. Raymond was in there by himself, so he stepped in.
Fairchild’s eyebrows raised, but he didn’t look angry.
“Mr. Dalton.”
“Mr. Fairchild.”
He looked good. Had color in his face, and there were no IVs hooked into him or any other machines. That was a good sign.
Lucy’s father laced his fingers together and laid them in his lap. “Have you come to gloat?”
What did he mean by that? For putting him in the hospital? “No, sir. I came to apologize. I let my temper get the better of me and I went off on you. I’m sorry. I should never have done that. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“You didn’t hurt me.”
“Sir, I think I did. You’re in the hospital.”
“Not for long. Just waiting for my discharge papers.” Jake tried to mask his relief. “You’re going to be okay, then?”
“You’ve won, Jake. I’ve already made calls to release the permits. You’ll be back in business tomorrow.”
“It was you.” Jake didn’t know whether to be relieved or furious. Probably both.
“Yes, of course it was me. And my daughter knows everything. She overheard me talking to Alex. Celebrating. I faked my heart attack. And now I’ve lost my daughter. She’s left me.”
Jake waited to see the remorse on Raymond Fairchild’s face. The hurt at what he’d caused.
It didn’t appear. Instead, the man was angry.
He hated losing.
Unfreakingbelievable.
“I hope you’re happy,” Fairchild said.
Jake shook his head. “I’m not happy at all. I wish things could be different. For Lucy. I’ve never seen a woman more devoted to her father, and a man so completely blind to what he had. She loved you. And all she wanted was your love in return.”
“I do love her.”
Jake snorted. “You don’t even know what it means.”
“I’ve given her everything.”
“Except what she really needed from you. For someone who’s supposed to be so smart, you’re really stupid, Fairchild.”
Raymond lifted his chin and sniffed. “She’s angry right now, but Lucille will come around to my way of thinking. Eventually.”
“You think so?”
“Of course. She’s a Fairchild. She has grown up with the finest things life has to offer. Do you think she’ll be satisfied with someone like you?” Jake let his lips curl. “Maybe. Maybe not. But I’ll bet she won’t be fooled by a prick like you ever again.”
Fairchild’s lips set in a thin line, his face turning a bright red. “You can leave my room. I don’t ever want to see you again.”
“Gladly.”
Jake turned and walked out the door.
He thought he’d be happy to hear that his permits would be released.
Instead, only one thought occupied his mind. The only thing that really mattered.
Lucy.
Lucy waited until the staff had cleared out for the day before she headed into the office to grab some important files. She didn’t know where she was going to go after that.
Not to her home. She didn’t have a home anymore. And certainly not to Jake’s.
Not after what she’d done to him. He’d never want to see her again.
She palmed her stomach, the thought of everything she’d lost because of her stupid mistakes making her knot up inside.
She packed up the files she’d need over the next several days and picked up her briefcase, deciding to stop off at the coffee shop for a latte. As she passed by the construction site, her heart ached. She pushed on, determined to shut Jake out of her mind.
When a wolf whistle rang out, she stopped dead in her tracks and whirled around.
There, leaning against one of the huge yellow pieces of machinery, was Jake, his arms folded across his chest. God, he looked good in worn jeans and a white shirt.
He pushed off the machinery and walked toward her.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey.”
“I saw your father today.”
Her eyes widened. “You did?”
“Yeah. I went to the hospital to apologize to him.”
“Jake, you didn’t have to—”
“Yeah, I did. I went off on him like a crazy man. That’s not like me. I don’t blow up and lose my temper like that. But I also don’t like being manipulated. I knew your father had squashed my permits.”
“Yes. He did. You were right and I didn’t believe you. I’m sorry.”
“No. I’m sorry, for embarrassing you at work, and for pushing your dad around.” She lifted her chin. “He deserved it.”
“No he didn’t. I should have called you with what I knew and let you do some investigating.”
“And I should have believed in you right away. I’m through siding with my father. He’s used me for the last time.”
“I’m sorry, Lucy. I wish he could be different.”
She shrugged. “I’ve come to the realization that he’s incapable of loving me.
That’s not my fault. It’s his problem.”
“You’re right, it is.”
They stared at each other for a few minutes. Then Jake took the briefcase from her hands. “Heavy.”
“I took several of my case files from the office so I can work at…well, wherever home will be for the next few days until I can figure things out.” He looked down at the briefcase in his hands, then swept his gaze back up to her.
“I liked having you work at my kitchen table next to me.” Her heart seemed to hover somewhere in the middle of her chest, fluttering like wild butterflies. “I liked that, too.”
“We’ve both made mistakes throughout our attempts at having a relationship, Lucy.”
“Yes, we have. And for the ones I made, Jake, I’m so sorry.”
“I’m kind of new at this, so I screwed up. I’m impatient. I hated your father interfering, and I didn’t take tender care of your heart and your feelings like I should have. That made me no better than him.”
Dissolving into tears out here on a public street wouldn’t be a good idea. But Jake was making her resolve difficult saying things like that. “You’re nothing like my father.
And I’m sorry for not standing with you against him. I know him better than anyone, know the level of deviousness he’s capable of, and still I wanted to believe that he wouldn’t have done something as horrible as shut your company down. But he did, and
I’ll never forgive him for that.”
Jake put his arm around her and pulled her close to him, then moved them toward the trailer. “Oh, I don’t know about that. Maybe that’s how he wanted to show you he cared about you.”
“Quit making excuses for him. He did it because he wants to control me.”
“You’re right. He’s a bastard and he doesn’t deserve to have you for a daughter.” She laughed. “I don’t want to talk about my father anymore.”
“Okay. Let’s talk about us instead.”
Jake opened the trailer door for her and she stepped inside. When he closed the door and flipped on the lights, she smiled at the bouquet of roses sitting amidst the chaos of paperwork on his desk. She turned to him and smiled.
“I was going to come up to your office, but then I saw you walking by.”
“They’re beautiful. Thank you.”
He pulled her against him, wrapping his arms around her. “I love you, Lucy Fairchild. Come live with me.”
Her eyes widened. “You want me to live with you?”
“I want a lot more than that. I want a future with you. I want forever with you.
But let’s start there. We’ll take things slow and step by step.” She grinned, sniffed. “I’d like that.”
“I have to warn you, though, it’ll be a big change in lifestyle for you. I’m just a plain guy. I don’t have a lot of money, I can’t offer you much, but I have a heart rich with love for you.”
Lucy let the tears fall now, unashamed of letting Jake see the emotion she could no longer hold in. She pressed her lips to his, kissing him with all the love she had.
She felt like she was going to burst.
“I love you, Jake Dalton. And I’m no longer rich, either. I’m going to reassign all my cases, and then I’m quitting the firm and I’m going to go back to school.” He pulled up a chair and pulled Lucy onto his lap. “Is that right?”
“Yes. It’s time I start living my dream.”
He nibbled her neck and she shivered with delight.
“And what would that dream be, Miss Fairchild?”
“I want a house out in the suburbs with the man I love. And I want to be a kindergarten teacher.”
Dear God, the man was a monster. All these years she had stood by him, hoping that somehow he would see her…that he would love her. That somehow he would wake up and be the father she had always wanted, had always needed.
It would never happen. She had made a critical mistake.
He didn’t love her. Her father didn’t love her. No man who loved his child would do this.
She was shaking so hard she almost couldn’t remain upright. She wanted to run, down the hall, down the elevator and out the door, not face this. Never face him again.
But she couldn’t. She was a Fairchild. The thought made her shudder, but she couldn’t hide from who she was.
The frightened child craving love was pushed aside, replaced instead by the angry woman who didn’t need anything from the man inside that room.
She had to pull it together. Fury gave her focus for what she had to do. Taking in a shuddering breath, she shored up her strength and pivoted, stepping into the room with a smile plastered on her face.
“Oh, Lucille. I didn’t expect you back so soon,” her father said, making sure his voice sounded weak and pathetic.
“I’m sure you didn’t, Father.” She nodded to Alex. “Alex.”
“Lucy. I just came by to—”
“Celebrate?” she finished for him. At her father’s shocked look, she said, “Oh, I heard everything you and Alex said, Father, so don’t bother playing the innocent cardiac patient any longer.”
She turned to Alex. “I would sooner marry a monkey than marry you, Alex. Your touch makes my skin crawl. Don’t ever darken my door with your presence again.” With a tilt of her head, she said, “Get out of my sight before I start screaming.” Alex made a hasty exit and she turned her attention on her father. “As for you.
Today, I’m embarrassed to call myself a Fairchild. You are mean, manipulative and a vicious bastard, Raymond. No, I will never call you father again, because the term is an endearment and I’ve lost all heart for you. To treat Jake, and to treat me, like pieces on a chessboard that you can move at your own pleasure, is vile and despicable. You are lower than the scum in the gutters.
“I love, Jake. I know you don’t understand that because the word love is foreign to you. I don’t deserve him, because he’s better than me. Better than us. You’ll never get that. But now, thanks to you, and thanks to my blind stupidity, I’ve lost him. The only man I ever loved. And I can’t even really blame you for that, because it’s my fault.”
“Lucille, I—”
“Do not ever speak to me again. You are no longer my father. Or my business partner. I’ll send someone for my things at the house. I will not live with you, and I will not work with you. I do not in any way wish to be associated with a man who is so utterly heartless. You make me sick.”
She went to the closet, grabbed her purse, and walked out, ignoring the stricken, pale look on her father’s face, along with the tears she was sure had been manufactured for her benefit.
Fake. It was all fake. The man didn’t have a genuine emotion to spare for her. He never had. He never would. That realization hurt much more than she ever thought it could.
She had spent her entire life doing everything she could to earn his love, his attention. And for what? So he could manipulate her, treat her like a commodity?
Her eyes were open now.
Had she hurt him by what she’d said, by walking out on him? She doubted it.
Maybe irritated him because his scheme didn’t work and he hadn’t won. And that made her sad.
Why had her father turned out this way, so devoid of emotion, of caring?
Not her problem. She shouldn’t care. He would reap what he sewed, and she would feel no pity for him. She’d sided with him for far too long, bought into his manipulations, and it had cost her everything.
Everything that had been so important to her.
Including the man she loved.
Jake was hoping he wouldn’t run into Lucy when he came up to Raymond Fairchild’s room. He wasn’t going there to see her, anyway. He was going to see Raymond. And he wasn’t going to beg for leniency. He didn’t deserve it. Not after what he’d done.
But he did need to face what he’d done head on, and offer an apology.
Though he wouldn’t be surprised if Lucy’s father didn’t throw him out on the spot.
Or have him arrested for assault. In fact, he was surprised that hadn’t already happened, considering Fairchild’s connections.
The floor was quiet as he walked toward the room. He paused, listening for the sounds of conversation. There weren’t any. It was late afternoon so he figured maybe Lucy was seeing to things at the office. He peeked around the corner. Raymond was in there by himself, so he stepped in.
Fairchild’s eyebrows raised, but he didn’t look angry.
“Mr. Dalton.”
“Mr. Fairchild.”
He looked good. Had color in his face, and there were no IVs hooked into him or any other machines. That was a good sign.
Lucy’s father laced his fingers together and laid them in his lap. “Have you come to gloat?”
What did he mean by that? For putting him in the hospital? “No, sir. I came to apologize. I let my temper get the better of me and I went off on you. I’m sorry. I should never have done that. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“You didn’t hurt me.”
“Sir, I think I did. You’re in the hospital.”
“Not for long. Just waiting for my discharge papers.” Jake tried to mask his relief. “You’re going to be okay, then?”
“You’ve won, Jake. I’ve already made calls to release the permits. You’ll be back in business tomorrow.”
“It was you.” Jake didn’t know whether to be relieved or furious. Probably both.
“Yes, of course it was me. And my daughter knows everything. She overheard me talking to Alex. Celebrating. I faked my heart attack. And now I’ve lost my daughter. She’s left me.”
Jake waited to see the remorse on Raymond Fairchild’s face. The hurt at what he’d caused.
It didn’t appear. Instead, the man was angry.
He hated losing.
Unfreakingbelievable.
“I hope you’re happy,” Fairchild said.
Jake shook his head. “I’m not happy at all. I wish things could be different. For Lucy. I’ve never seen a woman more devoted to her father, and a man so completely blind to what he had. She loved you. And all she wanted was your love in return.”
“I do love her.”
Jake snorted. “You don’t even know what it means.”
“I’ve given her everything.”
“Except what she really needed from you. For someone who’s supposed to be so smart, you’re really stupid, Fairchild.”
Raymond lifted his chin and sniffed. “She’s angry right now, but Lucille will come around to my way of thinking. Eventually.”
“You think so?”
“Of course. She’s a Fairchild. She has grown up with the finest things life has to offer. Do you think she’ll be satisfied with someone like you?” Jake let his lips curl. “Maybe. Maybe not. But I’ll bet she won’t be fooled by a prick like you ever again.”
Fairchild’s lips set in a thin line, his face turning a bright red. “You can leave my room. I don’t ever want to see you again.”
“Gladly.”
Jake turned and walked out the door.
He thought he’d be happy to hear that his permits would be released.
Instead, only one thought occupied his mind. The only thing that really mattered.
Lucy.
Lucy waited until the staff had cleared out for the day before she headed into the office to grab some important files. She didn’t know where she was going to go after that.
Not to her home. She didn’t have a home anymore. And certainly not to Jake’s.
Not after what she’d done to him. He’d never want to see her again.
She palmed her stomach, the thought of everything she’d lost because of her stupid mistakes making her knot up inside.
She packed up the files she’d need over the next several days and picked up her briefcase, deciding to stop off at the coffee shop for a latte. As she passed by the construction site, her heart ached. She pushed on, determined to shut Jake out of her mind.
When a wolf whistle rang out, she stopped dead in her tracks and whirled around.
There, leaning against one of the huge yellow pieces of machinery, was Jake, his arms folded across his chest. God, he looked good in worn jeans and a white shirt.
He pushed off the machinery and walked toward her.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey.”
“I saw your father today.”
Her eyes widened. “You did?”
“Yeah. I went to the hospital to apologize to him.”
“Jake, you didn’t have to—”
“Yeah, I did. I went off on him like a crazy man. That’s not like me. I don’t blow up and lose my temper like that. But I also don’t like being manipulated. I knew your father had squashed my permits.”
“Yes. He did. You were right and I didn’t believe you. I’m sorry.”
“No. I’m sorry, for embarrassing you at work, and for pushing your dad around.” She lifted her chin. “He deserved it.”
“No he didn’t. I should have called you with what I knew and let you do some investigating.”
“And I should have believed in you right away. I’m through siding with my father. He’s used me for the last time.”
“I’m sorry, Lucy. I wish he could be different.”
She shrugged. “I’ve come to the realization that he’s incapable of loving me.
That’s not my fault. It’s his problem.”
“You’re right, it is.”
They stared at each other for a few minutes. Then Jake took the briefcase from her hands. “Heavy.”
“I took several of my case files from the office so I can work at…well, wherever home will be for the next few days until I can figure things out.” He looked down at the briefcase in his hands, then swept his gaze back up to her.
“I liked having you work at my kitchen table next to me.” Her heart seemed to hover somewhere in the middle of her chest, fluttering like wild butterflies. “I liked that, too.”
“We’ve both made mistakes throughout our attempts at having a relationship, Lucy.”
“Yes, we have. And for the ones I made, Jake, I’m so sorry.”
“I’m kind of new at this, so I screwed up. I’m impatient. I hated your father interfering, and I didn’t take tender care of your heart and your feelings like I should have. That made me no better than him.”
Dissolving into tears out here on a public street wouldn’t be a good idea. But Jake was making her resolve difficult saying things like that. “You’re nothing like my father.
And I’m sorry for not standing with you against him. I know him better than anyone, know the level of deviousness he’s capable of, and still I wanted to believe that he wouldn’t have done something as horrible as shut your company down. But he did, and
I’ll never forgive him for that.”
Jake put his arm around her and pulled her close to him, then moved them toward the trailer. “Oh, I don’t know about that. Maybe that’s how he wanted to show you he cared about you.”
“Quit making excuses for him. He did it because he wants to control me.”
“You’re right. He’s a bastard and he doesn’t deserve to have you for a daughter.” She laughed. “I don’t want to talk about my father anymore.”
“Okay. Let’s talk about us instead.”
Jake opened the trailer door for her and she stepped inside. When he closed the door and flipped on the lights, she smiled at the bouquet of roses sitting amidst the chaos of paperwork on his desk. She turned to him and smiled.
“I was going to come up to your office, but then I saw you walking by.”
“They’re beautiful. Thank you.”
He pulled her against him, wrapping his arms around her. “I love you, Lucy Fairchild. Come live with me.”
Her eyes widened. “You want me to live with you?”
“I want a lot more than that. I want a future with you. I want forever with you.
But let’s start there. We’ll take things slow and step by step.” She grinned, sniffed. “I’d like that.”
“I have to warn you, though, it’ll be a big change in lifestyle for you. I’m just a plain guy. I don’t have a lot of money, I can’t offer you much, but I have a heart rich with love for you.”
Lucy let the tears fall now, unashamed of letting Jake see the emotion she could no longer hold in. She pressed her lips to his, kissing him with all the love she had.
She felt like she was going to burst.
“I love you, Jake Dalton. And I’m no longer rich, either. I’m going to reassign all my cases, and then I’m quitting the firm and I’m going to go back to school.” He pulled up a chair and pulled Lucy onto his lap. “Is that right?”
“Yes. It’s time I start living my dream.”
He nibbled her neck and she shivered with delight.
“And what would that dream be, Miss Fairchild?”
“I want a house out in the suburbs with the man I love. And I want to be a kindergarten teacher.”
