Dark Awakening

Page 39

“What do they have to do to make you lose faith in them, Ty? They kill our kind. They make the rest of us into pathetic shadows of ourselves. And still you defend her, telling me and everyone who’ll listen to trust in the system, that things will get better. And sometimes they do, Ty, but not for long. And then they get worse. Every goddamned time.”
Ty seemed to get over his momentary surprise quickly enough, stepping into Jaden, so close the two were nearly touching. Lily could feel the violence crackling in the air and hoped, desperately, that these two would let each other be.
“They all spit on us! All of them!” Ty snarled. “Arsinöe at least has found a use for us, instead of leaving us to rot, destitute, in some squalid gutter.”
“It would be better—”
Ty had Jaden by the front of the shirt in a flash, lifting him off the ground, his feet dangling a couple of inches above it. Lily’s mouth dropped open in horror. She had never seen Ty like this, so full of blind rage.
“Ty,” she said urgently, “no!” But he seemed not to hear her.
“I have been in that gutter, brother,” Ty hissed into Jaden’s face, his teeth bared, incisors long and deadly. “I was born there. I died there. My entire bloody family died there. Don’t you ever tell me that the way we live is worse than that, when you’ve never had to live among people drowning in the worst sort of filth with no hope. None. If I have to live, I’ll take this.” He dropped Jaden to the floor, where the furious vampire managed to land on his feet despite the force with which he was let down. “Go, then. I hope you find what you’re looking for.” Ty spat the words at Jaden before turning on one heel and stalking back through the doorway.
Lily tried to catch his arm as he passed, but he evaded her touch. She did, however, catch the quickest glimpse of his eyes. The pain in them took her breath away.
The door between rooms slammed shut, leaving Lily and Jaden looking at each other. His expression was wary, guarded, the way it had been when she’d met him. She looked helplessly at him, wishing she could fix all that was tearing him and Ty apart. That would tear her and Ty apart before all was said and done, she realized.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly, stepping backward toward the door. “I need to—”
“Don’t be,” Jaden said, his voice cool. “He’ll figure it out someday. And if he doesn’t, I can’t be there trying to save him. It’s every cat for himself. Always has been.”
Lily took another step back, pulled toward the door that Ty had put between them. Her heart ached for him, and she wanted nothing more than to be a balm to his wounds, which were old and very deep.
“Maybe you and he could get the Cait to join together,” she said, hearing the desperate note in her voice. “If you rose up, demanded to be left alone. History is full of things like that!” And then she and Ty could be together… stay together…
“No, Lily,” Jaden said softly, sadly. “They’re too strong. They’ve taken too many. The Cait Sith do better on their own anyway. I’m used to it… and so is Ty.” He hesitated a moment, then turned away. “Good-bye, Lily Quinn. I hope some god or other decides to protect you once Ty can’t.”
“Jaden.”
He turned back to her for some reason, whether it was simply the sound of his name or perhaps the way she said it. It was impulsive, but Lily found her feet moving before her mind could stop her. Quickly, she went to Jaden and wrapped her arms around him in the sort of comforting embrace Bay had often given her but she had never quite known how to return. She felt him stiffen, and she gave him a quick squeeze before he could push her away. Then Lily stepped back, seeing his confusion. It made her heart ache. She knew what it was to be that unloved, that wary of an affectionate gesture so freely given.
“Good-bye, Jaden,” she said softly. “Be safe.”
Then she turned and walked quickly, silently to the door, opened it, and left Jaden exactly how he claimed to want to be.
On his own.
Chapter TWENTY
LILY CLOSED THE DOOR quietly behind her.
Ty’s back was to her. He stood, perfectly still, in the middle of the room. His back was rigid, his hands fisted at his sides, his head down. Defeated, Lily thought. He looked utterly defeated. It frightened her. She had meant it when she’d told him he was the strongest man she’d ever known. How had he borne all of what he’d been through and still managed to function? How had he come through losing so much, losing everything, without breaking?
She took a step toward him, then another, cautiously.
“Jaden’s gone,” she said.
“I know,” Ty replied. His voice was soft, slightly ragged.
“I’m sorry he left,” Lily said, flexing fingers that longed to press and soothe those rigid shoulders. “Sorry you two left it that way.”
Ty laughed, a soft exhalation that was utterly mirthless. “It’s the way it always is with the Cait Sith. We go our own ways. Not much good at pairing up, I’m afraid.”
If she were a stronger woman, or at least a braver one, she would find Arsinöe and her worthless courtiers herself and make them pay for what they’d done to Ty and his kind. They’d turned proud, powerful creatures into servants, treated them so harshly that they no longer knew what to do with kindness; they had afflicted them with so much self-doubt that they didn’t leave for fear of being unable to function outside the strictures they’d always known. It was disgusting.
“He’s just afraid,” Lily said. “And honestly, Ty, after seeing what the Ptolemy did to him, I am too.” The idea had come to her as she’d paced the room earlier, waiting for him. Now it seemed the only way, and the words tumbled from her lips in a rush.
“I think we should go to Vlad Dracul.”
Now he turned to her, but the look on his face made Lily wish he hadn’t.
“You think we should what?”
“Just hear me out,” Lily said, holding up her hands. “Anura went to Vlad, right? She had to have had a good reason. And there’s no proof that they’re the ones attacking the Ptolemy initiations, right? Just history pointing to them.”
Ty’s expression indicated he thought she might have lost her mind. “We’re immortal, Lily. History pointing to them is no small thing. As to Anura, she makes her living on Dracul territory, and her club was just set on fire and nearly destroyed. I can see you were impressed with her, but as I told you before, she does have a vested interest in the outcome of all this.”
“Why did you bring me to her if you don’t trust her?”
“I don’t trust anyone,” Ty said.
Even if he hadn’t meant to hurt her, Lily felt his words like a knife in the heart. He seemed oblivious to it, too consumed with countering Lily’s argument.
“I think a better question,” Ty continued, “is why you’re so determined to trust a woman you’ve only just met? She’s a good woman, Lily; that I won’t deny. But vampires, as you may have noticed, are inherently self-interested.”
You’re not, she wanted to say, but held her tongue. She knew he wouldn’t accept it. He seemed determined to believe the worst about himself.
Instead, she kept to the subject at hand. “I felt something from her. I know it sounds crazy, but it was almost like something in me knew her. And vice versa.” Lily shook her head, trying to make sense of it. “I don’t understand any of this. How I can possibly be descended from some vampire goddess. How I can feel this weird connection with Anura when I know I’ve never met her in my life.” She lifted her hands to her temples and rubbed, hoping she could keep at bay the headache she had brewing.
“I wish I had answers,” Ty said, watching her from beneath thick, dark lashes. “As I told you, vampires can’t have children. But you’re a mortal wearing the mark of an ancient, and very dead, dynasty. You have power like I’ve never seen. I’m old, Lily, but I’m nowhere near old enough, I think, to know the answers.”
“Is Anura?”
Ty blew out a breath, and she saw the shadow of irritation cross his face. “Anura again. Yes, she’s very old, Lily. Likely she knew some of the Lilim. It’s why we came to her. And why it’s such a problem that she’s gone and told Vlad Dracul about you.” He closed his eyes for a moment, as though steeling himself, then said, “It doesn’t matter. We’re out of time here. As soon as the sun sets again, we’ll have to leave the city.”
“And go where?” Lily asked, crossing her arms over her chest and staring up at Ty, whose expression had gone guarded. Panic began to bubble in her chest. She knew the answer. She knew. No matter how little she wanted to believe he’d actually do it.
“Lily,” Ty began, and the tired resignation in his voice nearly broke her.
“Don’t. Please don’t take me to the Ptolemy, Ty. You know what they did to Jaden. Please, we can go to the Dracul, find Anura, find out the truth!”
“The truth,” Ty said with a sad half smile, “is something that all the dynasties have only a nodding acquaintance with. You’ll get a different story, but will it be the truth? Doubtful. One dynasty is the same as another that way, Lily. It’s pointless.”
Understanding hit her like a fist in the stomach.
“Even now, after everything, knowing they tortured your friend, that they’re subjecting your kind to terrible things while you do their work for them, you’re bringing me to them?” Her heart fluttered like a caged bird. “You would really just… just give me to them?”
He might have told her they had no future. But seeing it, the reality of it, was almost overwhelming. His eyes darkened with some indefinable emotion.
“I’ll handle them, Lily. No one’s going to hurt you. I know how to deal with Arsinöe, no matter what Jaden says. I’ll—”
“She’ll kill me, Ty,” Lily said, beginning to back away from him, as though at any moment he might snatch her up and drag her away to the Ptolemy. “There’s no way she’ll let me go. I’m not a Seer. I’m not what she thinks, and when she finds out—Don’t!”