Darkness, Kindled
Page 10
He let go of her wrists to smooth his hands down her slender hips, pulling her closer. Ari’s breath hitched, her hands coming to rest on his chest. It was rising and falling a little more quickly than normal, and she could probably feel his heart slamming against her palm. “I think we’re new at this. And I think we need to start talking to each other.”
“You’re not really much of a talker.”
Jai grunted in acknowledgement and brushed a soft kiss across her mouth. Bad idea. His mouth tingled and his skin prickled with heat. At the second hitch in Ari’s breath, he knew she felt it too. “Then I’ll start.” He pulled back a little so he could look into her face, so that she could look into his and see the sincerity there. “You’re right.
There is no getting over my father’s betrayal but when I said I’m fine, I am fine, Ari. There’s nothing for me to talk about. Nothing for me to work out of my system. What he did gave me clarity, I told you that. I meant it. I’m okay, because … I have you. Because you showed me what family really is.”
“Jai …,” she whispered, pressing closer, the clean scent of soap and vanilla causing another flush of heat to engulf him. She always smelled so amazing.
“I’m not done.” His hands flexed on her hips. “As for … sex …” He stopped. Just the word set off frustrated sparks inside of him. He tried to control the tightness in his lap and failed. Ari nudged against him, her excited puffs of breath causing the fog to start in his brain. “Ari,” he breathed, his grip on her hard. “Don’t.”
“Why?” She licked at his mouth and he groaned, pulling his head back.
“Because …” he tried to clear the fog. “You’re distracting me from what I was saying.”
“You said … as for sex …”
“Right.” His gaze fell to her mouth. Ari had the perfect mouth. He’d obsessed over that mouth since he’d kissed it for the first time when he put the trace on her. It was lush and full. It wasn’t an innocent mouth. Jai jerked his head back. “Okay. Stop.”
Hearing the determination in his voice, Ari stopped wriggling and drew back, glaring at him. “This is what I’m talking about. How can it be so easy for you to stop when it feels like I’m going to come out of my freaking skin?”
He laughed, which was so the wrong thing to do. Ari huffed in outrage and tried to climb off him, but Jai wrapped his arms around her, bands of steel she couldn’t escape. “I’m not laughing at you,” he promised. “I’m laughing at the fact that you think every time I walk away from you, it’s somehow easy for me. Do you know how many cold showers I’ve taken since we moved in together? One a day. On occasion, two.”
Ari’s mouth parted in surprise.
“Oh.”
“Oh is right. Ari, I wanted
you to know that this is more than sex. I wanted you to feel safe with me.
Loved. But that doesn’t mean it hasn’t been damn hard. Pardon the pun.”
Ari grinned and nodded. “I do feel loved.” Jai sighed inwardly as she reached up to stroke his cheek. That warm, overwhelming feeling was back in his chest for the first time in days. It was the feeling he got knowing Ari loved him like no one ever had. “But when you love someone as much as I love you, sex is a part of that. A big part of that.
I don’t think wanting you, or you wanting me, diminishes all the other parts of being in love. It makes it whole.”
Jai rested his head back on the couch and stared at her from under his lashes, wondering how he got so lucky.
“I keep forgetting you’re smart.”
She hit him playfully, a smile tugging the corner of her mouth. “Tell me you love me back, dumbass, or I’m getting off your lap and never getting back on it. Ever.”
Jai grinned up at her. “Well, I can’t allow that.” His hands on her hips drew her toward him and he pressed a soft, lush kiss to her waiting mouth. When he pulled back, he looked deep into her ever-changing eyes and whispered roughly, with more feeling than he could possibly contain, “I love you. And I’m sorry I ever made you think I didn’t want you. You’re right. Part of me was keeping up appearances. I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about it and instead acted like a huffy, immature teenager. But in my defense,” she added quickly with a saucy smile, “I am a teenager.”
Jai groaned. “Don’t. You’ll make me feel even more debauched than I already do.”
“Debauched? Why, Mr. Bitar, have you been reading historical romances again?”
Serious love ripped through him and he laughed, his regard adoring. “God, I love you.”
He saw her smile and dip her head, trying to hide the spring of tears in her eyes at his words. Relief coursed through him and Jai wrapped his arms around her until they were hugging each other tightly. After a moment of warm reconciliation, he heard her sigh heavily.
“What is it?”
“We have more to discuss, I’m afraid. And none of it good.”
When she pulled back, Jai nodded. “I have something to tell you too.”
Ari cupped his face in her hands, her expression grave. “You’re not going to like what I have to tell you.”
“Baby, you’re not going to like my news, either.”
***
Feeling overwhelming relief, Ari sat back on Jai’s lap, loving the absence of the churning knots in her stomach.
They’d both acted like idiots. It was time to learn from that mistake. Ari shifted and tried to escape his lap, but Jai’s hold on her tightened and he frowned.
“Where are you going?”
She smiled. “I think I better remove myself from your person so we can talk. Your lap is very distracting,” she told him pointedly and not without a little feminine smugness.
Jai nodded and let her slide off.
She curled next to him. “Do you want to go first?”
Her heart thumped nervously. “I have two things to tell you. You go first.”
“The Guild suspects Charlie’s back in town.”
Ari blinked at his blunt breaking of the news.
Crap.
It was a good thing she’d planned on telling him about Charlie’s little visit. “The Guild is right. He came here today.”
“You’re not really much of a talker.”
Jai grunted in acknowledgement and brushed a soft kiss across her mouth. Bad idea. His mouth tingled and his skin prickled with heat. At the second hitch in Ari’s breath, he knew she felt it too. “Then I’ll start.” He pulled back a little so he could look into her face, so that she could look into his and see the sincerity there. “You’re right.
There is no getting over my father’s betrayal but when I said I’m fine, I am fine, Ari. There’s nothing for me to talk about. Nothing for me to work out of my system. What he did gave me clarity, I told you that. I meant it. I’m okay, because … I have you. Because you showed me what family really is.”
“Jai …,” she whispered, pressing closer, the clean scent of soap and vanilla causing another flush of heat to engulf him. She always smelled so amazing.
“I’m not done.” His hands flexed on her hips. “As for … sex …” He stopped. Just the word set off frustrated sparks inside of him. He tried to control the tightness in his lap and failed. Ari nudged against him, her excited puffs of breath causing the fog to start in his brain. “Ari,” he breathed, his grip on her hard. “Don’t.”
“Why?” She licked at his mouth and he groaned, pulling his head back.
“Because …” he tried to clear the fog. “You’re distracting me from what I was saying.”
“You said … as for sex …”
“Right.” His gaze fell to her mouth. Ari had the perfect mouth. He’d obsessed over that mouth since he’d kissed it for the first time when he put the trace on her. It was lush and full. It wasn’t an innocent mouth. Jai jerked his head back. “Okay. Stop.”
Hearing the determination in his voice, Ari stopped wriggling and drew back, glaring at him. “This is what I’m talking about. How can it be so easy for you to stop when it feels like I’m going to come out of my freaking skin?”
He laughed, which was so the wrong thing to do. Ari huffed in outrage and tried to climb off him, but Jai wrapped his arms around her, bands of steel she couldn’t escape. “I’m not laughing at you,” he promised. “I’m laughing at the fact that you think every time I walk away from you, it’s somehow easy for me. Do you know how many cold showers I’ve taken since we moved in together? One a day. On occasion, two.”
Ari’s mouth parted in surprise.
“Oh.”
“Oh is right. Ari, I wanted
you to know that this is more than sex. I wanted you to feel safe with me.
Loved. But that doesn’t mean it hasn’t been damn hard. Pardon the pun.”
Ari grinned and nodded. “I do feel loved.” Jai sighed inwardly as she reached up to stroke his cheek. That warm, overwhelming feeling was back in his chest for the first time in days. It was the feeling he got knowing Ari loved him like no one ever had. “But when you love someone as much as I love you, sex is a part of that. A big part of that.
I don’t think wanting you, or you wanting me, diminishes all the other parts of being in love. It makes it whole.”
Jai rested his head back on the couch and stared at her from under his lashes, wondering how he got so lucky.
“I keep forgetting you’re smart.”
She hit him playfully, a smile tugging the corner of her mouth. “Tell me you love me back, dumbass, or I’m getting off your lap and never getting back on it. Ever.”
Jai grinned up at her. “Well, I can’t allow that.” His hands on her hips drew her toward him and he pressed a soft, lush kiss to her waiting mouth. When he pulled back, he looked deep into her ever-changing eyes and whispered roughly, with more feeling than he could possibly contain, “I love you. And I’m sorry I ever made you think I didn’t want you. You’re right. Part of me was keeping up appearances. I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about it and instead acted like a huffy, immature teenager. But in my defense,” she added quickly with a saucy smile, “I am a teenager.”
Jai groaned. “Don’t. You’ll make me feel even more debauched than I already do.”
“Debauched? Why, Mr. Bitar, have you been reading historical romances again?”
Serious love ripped through him and he laughed, his regard adoring. “God, I love you.”
He saw her smile and dip her head, trying to hide the spring of tears in her eyes at his words. Relief coursed through him and Jai wrapped his arms around her until they were hugging each other tightly. After a moment of warm reconciliation, he heard her sigh heavily.
“What is it?”
“We have more to discuss, I’m afraid. And none of it good.”
When she pulled back, Jai nodded. “I have something to tell you too.”
Ari cupped his face in her hands, her expression grave. “You’re not going to like what I have to tell you.”
“Baby, you’re not going to like my news, either.”
***
Feeling overwhelming relief, Ari sat back on Jai’s lap, loving the absence of the churning knots in her stomach.
They’d both acted like idiots. It was time to learn from that mistake. Ari shifted and tried to escape his lap, but Jai’s hold on her tightened and he frowned.
“Where are you going?”
She smiled. “I think I better remove myself from your person so we can talk. Your lap is very distracting,” she told him pointedly and not without a little feminine smugness.
Jai nodded and let her slide off.
She curled next to him. “Do you want to go first?”
Her heart thumped nervously. “I have two things to tell you. You go first.”
“The Guild suspects Charlie’s back in town.”
Ari blinked at his blunt breaking of the news.
Crap.
It was a good thing she’d planned on telling him about Charlie’s little visit. “The Guild is right. He came here today.”
