Dead of Winter
Page 72
“Who took him out?”
“I did. To avenge you and punish him for separating us. In that game, I harvested your icon from him.” Aric’s voice went hoarse as he gazed down at his hand. “I stared at it as centuries passed me by.”
So what would Aric do now if I chose to be with Jack?
“You’ve got a decision to make.” Selena handed me back the canteen to close. “And frankly, I don’t see what the issue is.”
With all honesty, I told her, “The issue is that I don’t know what’s going on in my head right now.”
“Well, figure it the hell out.”
I waved airily. “There! Done. Voilà.”
“Seriously, if you can figure out how to get Dom nija and J.D. to ride together and be civil, this should be cake.”
I sighed, about to tell her it was complicated, brushing her off. But how could I expect her to confide in me when I wouldn’t do the same in return? “I love Jack. But I have a connection to Aric.” One forged over millennia, like an endless wave along a shore.
Today, he’d gazed at me, but not with his usual confidence. He’d looked shaken—as if he suspected I was drawing away. But I wasn’t. My heart remained divided. “I . . . I think I’ve fallen for him as well.” He’d come so far, had made such strides. I believed he could be a good partner for me.
If he didn’t turn to coercion again. I dreaded the trick up his sleeve.
“Shit, girl. What’d you go and do that for?”
I glared. “Like I could help it?” My dreams of both of them had given me glimpses into how they’d become the men they were today. But those dreams hadn’t helped me come to a decision.
She tugged a silvery blond tress from her cheek. “Granted, Death’s different from what I thought, but would you really choose him over J.D.?”
“Aric told me I should give my blessing to you and Jack.”
She snorted. “You can bless us all you want, but it’s not happening.”
I frowned at her. “You told me things had changed between you two.”
“Yeah. As in, I made peace with the fact that I’ll never be with him. It was a done thing between you two before I ever came into the picture.”
“Why are you so sure?”
“After he heard you didn’t want to have anything to do with him, J.D. took it bad—like head in his hands, pulling out his hair. So we got wasted together. I told him how I felt about him, and I tried to kiss him.”
Jealousy scored me.
“And do you know what he did?”
I held my breath.
“He pushed me away, telling me that the people of his mother’s blood fall in love once. They pray they get it right—because it can’t be changed. He told me his mother loved his father, unrequited, and nineteen years of misery couldn’t shake it.”
The root of his mother’s pain.
Selena gazed at him. “That’s why you and J.D. have to get back together.” The Archer’s eyes could be so dark and cutting, but for Jack alone, they went soft. “I can’t stand for him to hurt like that.”
“You and he never . . . ?”
“Never. He doesn’t even see me when you’re around.”
I felt guilty for doubting him in this. Maybe I could give him my trust again?
“Besides, I’m not settling for someone who can’t love me totally. I mean, check me out—do I look like a girl who needs to settle?” She squared her shoulders. “A make-do runner-up? I’ve been number one at everything I’ve ever done.”
Normally I would have groaned to hear her talk like that. Now a bit of my worry lifted. She would recover from the Lovers; I believed that.
“I’m not going to stop being number one just for a guy.”
“What if the guy’s perfect for you in every other way?”
“Not in the way that counts most.” She admitted, “I even fooled around with Finn—in the form of Finn, mind you—to distract me. But the Magician’s still hung up on Lark.”
“What about Gabriel? You don’t remember this, but before we went back in time, we got chased by the soldiers. The first person he evacuated was you. The Archangel has fallen for the Archer.”
“Whoa, I was talking about hooking up with another card. But to fall for an Arcana?” She met my gaze. “Only an idiot would do that.”
I didn’t argue. I’d fallen for Aric, despite loving Jack. Idiot seemed fair.
42
FORT ARCANA
“You bagged the Lovers!” Finn hobbled into the courtyard to meet us, Cyclops at his heels.
When Selena paled, Jack stepped in to say, “They’re done, podna.” He dismounted, then helped her down. “I’ll tell you about it once we’ve rested up.”
Rest. All I wanted was to drop facedown and starfish my cot. But I was itching to check on Matthew.
Plus, my decision. I gazed at Jack, then Death.
After the Flash, life was so precarious that time seemed to pass differently. A day, much less a week, was an eternity. I couldn’t string this along. In any case, the army was leaving tomorrow a.m.
Jack would need to know if he was setting out with them—or heading to North Carolina with me.
Aric had waited long enough.
He alighted from his saddle to help me from mine. On the ground, I turned from him, from the question burning in his amber eyes.
Yes, I needed to give them an answer. I just wished I had one.
I faced Finn. “Where is everyone? Where’s Matthew?” I hadn’t heard any calls. But then, I’d been asleep in the saddle all the way up to the minefield.
“Joules and company vamoosed a couple of mornings ago. They smoked out the remaining traitors and exiled them. According to Joules, they were ‘big feckers.’”
“Gabriel was okay with leaving?” He’d been so worried about Selena.
Finn sliced a glance at Death. “With you guys all heading home, and the Priestess hanging around, Matthew warned about convergence, was kinda stern about it.”
Circe remained? On the way back here, whenever I’d passed a stream, memories of the High Priestess arose. In one, she and I had laughed so hard we’d cried. We would finally stop, look at each other, only to burst out laughing again. . . .
“Joules & Crew told me they’d check back in over the winter,” Finn said. “Maybe spend the holidays with us.”
Did holidays still exist? Okay, sure. “Is Matthew in bed?”
“I did. To avenge you and punish him for separating us. In that game, I harvested your icon from him.” Aric’s voice went hoarse as he gazed down at his hand. “I stared at it as centuries passed me by.”
So what would Aric do now if I chose to be with Jack?
“You’ve got a decision to make.” Selena handed me back the canteen to close. “And frankly, I don’t see what the issue is.”
With all honesty, I told her, “The issue is that I don’t know what’s going on in my head right now.”
“Well, figure it the hell out.”
I waved airily. “There! Done. Voilà.”
“Seriously, if you can figure out how to get Dom nija and J.D. to ride together and be civil, this should be cake.”
I sighed, about to tell her it was complicated, brushing her off. But how could I expect her to confide in me when I wouldn’t do the same in return? “I love Jack. But I have a connection to Aric.” One forged over millennia, like an endless wave along a shore.
Today, he’d gazed at me, but not with his usual confidence. He’d looked shaken—as if he suspected I was drawing away. But I wasn’t. My heart remained divided. “I . . . I think I’ve fallen for him as well.” He’d come so far, had made such strides. I believed he could be a good partner for me.
If he didn’t turn to coercion again. I dreaded the trick up his sleeve.
“Shit, girl. What’d you go and do that for?”
I glared. “Like I could help it?” My dreams of both of them had given me glimpses into how they’d become the men they were today. But those dreams hadn’t helped me come to a decision.
She tugged a silvery blond tress from her cheek. “Granted, Death’s different from what I thought, but would you really choose him over J.D.?”
“Aric told me I should give my blessing to you and Jack.”
She snorted. “You can bless us all you want, but it’s not happening.”
I frowned at her. “You told me things had changed between you two.”
“Yeah. As in, I made peace with the fact that I’ll never be with him. It was a done thing between you two before I ever came into the picture.”
“Why are you so sure?”
“After he heard you didn’t want to have anything to do with him, J.D. took it bad—like head in his hands, pulling out his hair. So we got wasted together. I told him how I felt about him, and I tried to kiss him.”
Jealousy scored me.
“And do you know what he did?”
I held my breath.
“He pushed me away, telling me that the people of his mother’s blood fall in love once. They pray they get it right—because it can’t be changed. He told me his mother loved his father, unrequited, and nineteen years of misery couldn’t shake it.”
The root of his mother’s pain.
Selena gazed at him. “That’s why you and J.D. have to get back together.” The Archer’s eyes could be so dark and cutting, but for Jack alone, they went soft. “I can’t stand for him to hurt like that.”
“You and he never . . . ?”
“Never. He doesn’t even see me when you’re around.”
I felt guilty for doubting him in this. Maybe I could give him my trust again?
“Besides, I’m not settling for someone who can’t love me totally. I mean, check me out—do I look like a girl who needs to settle?” She squared her shoulders. “A make-do runner-up? I’ve been number one at everything I’ve ever done.”
Normally I would have groaned to hear her talk like that. Now a bit of my worry lifted. She would recover from the Lovers; I believed that.
“I’m not going to stop being number one just for a guy.”
“What if the guy’s perfect for you in every other way?”
“Not in the way that counts most.” She admitted, “I even fooled around with Finn—in the form of Finn, mind you—to distract me. But the Magician’s still hung up on Lark.”
“What about Gabriel? You don’t remember this, but before we went back in time, we got chased by the soldiers. The first person he evacuated was you. The Archangel has fallen for the Archer.”
“Whoa, I was talking about hooking up with another card. But to fall for an Arcana?” She met my gaze. “Only an idiot would do that.”
I didn’t argue. I’d fallen for Aric, despite loving Jack. Idiot seemed fair.
42
FORT ARCANA
“You bagged the Lovers!” Finn hobbled into the courtyard to meet us, Cyclops at his heels.
When Selena paled, Jack stepped in to say, “They’re done, podna.” He dismounted, then helped her down. “I’ll tell you about it once we’ve rested up.”
Rest. All I wanted was to drop facedown and starfish my cot. But I was itching to check on Matthew.
Plus, my decision. I gazed at Jack, then Death.
After the Flash, life was so precarious that time seemed to pass differently. A day, much less a week, was an eternity. I couldn’t string this along. In any case, the army was leaving tomorrow a.m.
Jack would need to know if he was setting out with them—or heading to North Carolina with me.
Aric had waited long enough.
He alighted from his saddle to help me from mine. On the ground, I turned from him, from the question burning in his amber eyes.
Yes, I needed to give them an answer. I just wished I had one.
I faced Finn. “Where is everyone? Where’s Matthew?” I hadn’t heard any calls. But then, I’d been asleep in the saddle all the way up to the minefield.
“Joules and company vamoosed a couple of mornings ago. They smoked out the remaining traitors and exiled them. According to Joules, they were ‘big feckers.’”
“Gabriel was okay with leaving?” He’d been so worried about Selena.
Finn sliced a glance at Death. “With you guys all heading home, and the Priestess hanging around, Matthew warned about convergence, was kinda stern about it.”
Circe remained? On the way back here, whenever I’d passed a stream, memories of the High Priestess arose. In one, she and I had laughed so hard we’d cried. We would finally stop, look at each other, only to burst out laughing again. . . .
“Joules & Crew told me they’d check back in over the winter,” Finn said. “Maybe spend the holidays with us.”
Did holidays still exist? Okay, sure. “Is Matthew in bed?”
