Deadly Crush

Page 35

I’m going to die, I realized, as my legs gave out from under me. I could barely breathe, and dizziness was consuming me, turning the world gray around the edges of my vision. I’d known it was a possibility, but I’d never really believed it would happen. I fell to the floor. I heard the thud, but I didn’t feel it.
“Jade, don’t give up!” Aidan shouted again. There was pain in his voice, and desperation that I had never thought I’d hear in him and it made my heart quicken in painfully fast beats.
Tiffany landed on top of me, snarling down at me. I tried to roll out from under her, but she pinned me, holding me on my back. Her lips curled back, and some of my own blood fell from her mouth, splattering on my face.
“Jade!” Aidan yelled desperately as Tiffany’s muzzle came down at me, with bared teeth. It was all happening so slowly. I could feel her breath ruffling my fur, see her teeth closing in on my neck, feel the cold of her wet nose as it got closer and closer.
Someone let out a guttural cry, and heat rushed through me. My scent ramped up, and my body burned, fever hot. I bucked again, rising up to meet her attack, and then my teeth were in her neck, and I ripped out her throat.
The limp body of the brown wolf fell against me, and a whimper burst out of me.
The silence was loud, as I kicked the wolf off of me and shifted back to my human form. I looked down at the wolf, hardly believing that the mangled body at my feet was dead because of me. My mouth tasted of blood, and it chilled me when I realized that I didn’t mind the taste. Someone put a sweater over my shoulders, and I was vaguely aware of my arms being pulled into the sleeves, and the zipper tugging up to my chin.
I looked around, following the sprays and splatter of blood that covered the walls and floor. My body hurt and warm blood trickled down my neck, soaking into the sweater. My skin began to tingle as it slowly pieced back together, and I found myself wondering if I would have scars. I knew it was a stupid and irrational thought, and I almost laughed. Almost.
“I am yours now,” Aidan whispered. He placed a hand under my chin, tilting my head and giving me a look that said, Accept it and deal with it. “And whether you meant to or not, you made yourself mine.”
“I’m not a possession, you big jerk,” I growled, still sounding more wolf than human.
He chuckled, a deep velvety sound that made my knees go weak. “Actually, yeah, you are. You’re my possession. Mine. To protect and love and have. Mine.” He grabbed me then, coiling his arm around my waist, and pulled me tightly against the length of his body.
“Get your hands off me, Aidan!” I shrieked, but I couldn’t make myself move out of his arms. I breathed in his scent, and I felt the smile spread upon my lips.
He smirked down at me, and my heart pounded loudly in my ears. “Is that what you want? For me to let you go?” His voice was just a whisper, his warm breath brushing against my lips as he spoke.
I stared up at him, feeling some multicolored emotion that was guilt and desire and self-loathing all rolled into one, and tied with a neat little bow, keeping the confused emotions clustered together. “Yes,” I murmured.
He didn’t let go, and dammit, I was furious at myself for being glad about that. But then his lips crushed against mine, roughly, greedily, and it was intoxicating. And for that moment, I simply forgot that I wasn’t supposed to want him anymore.
CHAPTER 35
~ JADE ~
They branded me. Freakin’ branded me! After I had cleaned myself up, Dominic heated what looked like a cattle prod until the metal ‘A’ on the end glowed red and he stuck me with it in the chest. It hurt like hell, and it took everything I had in me not to scream out. Half the pack was right outside the door dealing with the mess in the waiting room, and the last thing I wanted was for any of them to think I was weak. I was having a hard enough time hiding how wrecked I was over killing someone. I knew she had to die. I knew she would have died whether it was by my hand or one of the enforcer’s, but knowing it, and dealing with the fact that I had actually done it, was an entirely different story.
Jared stood in front of me, glaring at me for the entire five minutes it took for the imprint to stick without my skin completely healing the scar. Disappointed didn’t even come close to describe the look he gave me, and it made me feel sick. Was I really that weak? Maybe he was right when he had called me soft. It was clear that he sure thought I was. The first chance I got, I flew back into Aidan’s arms like a lovesick fool.
When Dominic pulled the burning metal away, Aidan leaned in to kiss me, and I forced myself to move my head, letting his lips brush my cheek instead of his intended target. Aidan didn’t seem to notice, and I was glad for it. I backed up a step, putting some distance between us, and said, “Tell me what you know about the cougars.”
It was a long conversation. Aidan relayed every bit of information he had, which turned out to be not much more than what I had already known. The part I found most interesting was that no one had ever met Bruce. Dominic said that Ray had handled everything when it came to them, and Jared and the enforcers had never had a need to seek them out. For the most part, the cougars stayed away. And it was that piece of information that made me wonder if Bruce was even real. The way my dad had spoken in the video, it was as if the cougars were his.
I did a lot of pacing, mostly to keep myself away from Aidan. I was pretty sure that what I was planning to do was going to hurt me more than him. Even so, I knew I’d spend every minute I had regretting it if I let him think I was okay with everything that had happened between us.
I wondered how I didn’t know that my father was a werecougar. The thought of living with the enemy my whole life made me feel sick. And then I spent some time thinking about how the enemy had changed. Only a week ago, I would have sworn that it was the pack, and now, everything in me wanted to protect them. They were mine. My wolves. My life.
When an idea hit me, I almost laughed. It was more from nerves than anything else, but I managed to hold it in as I divulged my thoughts to our little group. The idea was simple: let Dad think Tiffany won. We had all come to the same consensus. We needed to buy some time to track the cougars. We knew Dad wanted to use me, but we didn’t have a clue for what. And I didn’t really think he was actually out recruiting. Not when he thought Tiffany was going to send some wolves to him if she won.
Aidan and I took turns calling him. I put on a big show of being heartbroken, although it wasn’t that hard. My heart was, after all, completely shattered. And when Aidan called him, he even agreed to mate me with one of the enforcers. When it was all said and done, Dad promised to try and stall, giving Aidan a few days to settle in with his new mate, and Aidan swore he’d call as soon as he had a plan to deal with the pack of cougars.
Aidan leaned back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest. His forehead scrunched a little as he thought, and he scrubbed at his face. “Okay, we’ve bought ourselves a few days. You guys can go,” he said, waving a dismissive hand. “Jade and I need to discuss this and we’ll call a meeting when we have a plan together.”
Crap! That was the last thing I needed. One on one time with Aidan. I wasn’t strong enough, not yet, not when every part of me wanted to pretend as if nothing happened. “Wait,” I said, before anyone had a chance to leave. Everyone froze, and I glanced back at Aidan. “Aidan?” I said, cautiously, stepping back from him, and I met him straight on, squaring my shoulders and stoning my face. I took a deep breath, and then another and another, trying to calm my nerves. It wasn’t working. My inner-wolf fought me, and my heart started to crack again. My palms were sweating, and my stomach twisted into painfully tight knots. “We need to find them before we can do anything else,” I said in a rush.
Aidan watched me with confusion marring his gorgeous face. He arched a questioning brow, folded his arms over his chest, and leaned further back in his chair.
I shook out my trembling arms, and before I lost every bit of my nerve, I blurted, “Aidan, I’ll be the alpha female of this pack, but I can’t be your mate.”
The silence was thick in the air. No one moved, no one breathed. I glanced back at Jared. I didn’t mean to and I was sure it would give everyone the wrong impression, especially him, but as I met his eyes, I was glad I had. He gave me an encouraging smile, and nodded his silent approval, and I hated how much that approval steadied me. “And I’m going to join the enforcers,” I said, looking back at Aidan, focusing on his chest so I didn’t have to see if I was hurting him or not. Either way, I knew I couldn’t handle it. “I want to help find the bastards.”
“Jade,” Aidan said, uncertainty in his voice. He pushed back his chair and stood up, taking a few steps toward me. I stupidly looked up then, and wished I hadn’t. A swarm of emotions flew across his eyes, devastation being the most prominent. But he also looked … scared … no, more than scared … terrified. “Jade, what are you doing?”
“You were right,” I said, putting my hands up in a desperate plea for him not to come any closer. “I know nothing about you and what I do know, I don’t really like.”
“Jade, have you lost your mind?” Dominic barked. He was furious. His fists clenched, and his neck tensed. He started toward me, red streaking his face and settling in his cheeks.
“Careful, beta,” Jared said with a laugh. He grabbed Dominic’s shoulders, pulling him to a stop. “My little kitten has claws. You don’t want to get too close.”
I shot Jared a murderous look. Kitten was seriously worse than little girl. And really, this wasn’t the time for his stupid pet names.
“Jade, please …” Aidan whispered, ignoring them, and bringing my attention back to him. I almost cracked. Walking away from him was by far the hardest thing I’d ever done. Everything in me wanted him … needed him. My inner-wolf stirred in my stomach, and tears bit at my eyelids. I quickly blinked them away, but by the broken look on Aidan’s face, I didn’t do it fast enough. The problem was I knew I couldn’t live with letting him think that I was okay with all the bullshit he had put me through. I wasn’t okay with it, and I really didn’t know if I ever would be.