Defended & Desired
Page 42
“That sounds like the right age to think about settling down with someone.” When she’d committed to Dan, she was twenty four and he was twenty six, so young in hindsight. Neither of them had been ready for the long haul, but sometimes a relationship can’t lead anywhere else but to a breakup or marriage.
“For the most part, during the times we got back together Jenna managed to stay clean. But I knew addiction ran in her family, and she never stopped looking for ways to escape her ugly childhood. I guess I shouldn’t have been shocked when she relapsed.”
“That had to be hard.” Her eyebrows furrowed. “When did she relapse?”
“She OD’d on prescription painkillers the week we were supposed to get married.”
“Oh, how awful.” She cupped his cheek. “I’m so sorry.”
Hurt lingered in his eyes even though he shrugged. “If it had to happen, at least it was before the wedding. I was taking her to the hospital when I missed the call from my dad.”
What call? “We all get our connections crossed.”
“Yeah, but if I’d answered, I might’ve saved his life.”
Her mouth fell open. “What?”
Looking off toward the stage, he dropped his chin. “Dad called me for backup when he went to haul in a felon. I wasn’t there for him. He lost his life because of it. I had no idea the message he left would be the last time I ever heard his voice.”
Torment tightened his features. She wanted to absorb his pain and carry it for him. “You couldn’t save two lives at the same time, Trey. Not even Superman can do that.”
He sighed. “No, I guess not.”
But his tone said he didn’t believe that. He felt responsible, and his heartbreak tore her apart. “What happened to the life you did save?”
“Jenna?” He laughed without humor. “She went into rehab, using the money we’d planned for our honeymoon, and met some guy there. We were over, so I didn’t care. She’s still in and out of rehab, mostly out, and still roping people into her crazy schemes. She’s a piece of work.” His jaw tightened. “When I left Vegas, I finally saw how toxic she was.”
“Do you wish things had worked out differently?” she asked, dreading the answer.
“No.” He shook his head, and this time his laugh was genuine. “We would’ve ended up as one of those miserable married couples that stay together for the sake of the kids. Things turned out for the best.” His smile reached his eyes. “Besides, I was waiting for you.”
The words made her heart soar. He’d shared his story of love and loss, inspiring her to do the same. “If things had turned out different eight years ago, I wouldn’t be here with you either.”
“Tell me about it.” He swept both her legs over one thigh, wedging her left shoulder against his chest. Then he looped his arms around her waist, enclosing her in a protective circle.
She appreciated the gesture more than words, as she prepared to delve into memories of one of the worst day of her life. “I could tell something was wrong with Daniel the week before our wedding. He seemed distant, distracted. Whenever I tried to be affectionate or talk about last minute details, it was like he’d checked out. I figured it was typical bachelor jitters. He assured me everything was fine, but I should’ve listened to my instincts.”
Trey stared at her intently, allowing her to continue at her own pace as her thoughts unspooled.
“We met in ROTC, graduated college, and then used our army computer skills to enter the workforce. We were hired by the same company, but he ended up becoming my superior. That’s when we became more than friends. We’d planned the wedding to match our two year anniversary, and while the ceremony wasn’t grand, I’d worked so hard to make it come together on our small budget. My mom had always struggled when it came to money, but she somehow scraped together the cash to buy the material to make my wedding dress. It was beautiful, with pearls and lace and a long satin train. The first time I tried it on I felt like Cinderella and we both cried.”
Sinking her toes into the warm grass beside them, she sighed at her one sweet memory during that time then spoke in a rush, “I stood at the back of the church and the music started playing, I looked down the aisle but didn’t see Dan in front of the altar. I thought maybe he’d planned some grand entrance, since he’d always been a showman. So I went down the aisle by myself, stood on the steps by the minister and waited.” Misery collected in her throat. “And waited. He never came. He left me at the altar on our wedding day.”
Trey’s jaw dropped and anger clouded his gaze. “How could he do that to you?”
Repressed sensations of hurt and abandonment traveled through her veins like shards of broken glass leading straight to her heart. I don’t know, she tried to say, except she couldn’t push the words past the lump of unshed tears in her throat. Though she had her suspicions. Facing a future with a woman who couldn’t bear him children had turned a decent man into a cold, heartless deserter.
Clearing her throat, she shoved those memories back down into a box in her psyche marked Do Not Open. “You know what’s crazy? Dan tried to connect with me on Facebook a couple months ago. I didn’t reply. What was I going to say? ‘Gee, great to hear from you after you walked out on me in front of a church full of people.’ Some things are better left alone.”
With a disgusted huff, Trey shook his head. “What an idiot. He had a serious mental defect. Any guy who could walk away from you doesn’t deserve you.”
She leaned her head on his broad shoulder, and he rested his cheek against her hair.
“For the record,” he stated, “I’m not an idiot. I know a good thing when I’ve found it.”
I won’t walk away from you. The suggestion underlying his words sent a flutter through her chest. A warm glow spread from her head to her toes. She snuggled closer to him, wishing they were alone so they could physically explore their raw, heartfelt moment.
Why did Trey have to be so perfect? She believed she’d found the real thing, the right man, just when she was about to leave. Then again, she never would’ve pursued their attraction if she had known from the start she might fall for him. Life was either wretchedly unfair or had tricked her into her present situation. She wasn’t sure which was worse—or better. Nothing made sense except being here in his arms. She tried hard to trust that things would work themselves out. She also wanted to hate this sense of limbo and uncertainty. Yet if indecision bought her more time with him, she’d pay that price. He was the best thing that had happened to her years.
“For the most part, during the times we got back together Jenna managed to stay clean. But I knew addiction ran in her family, and she never stopped looking for ways to escape her ugly childhood. I guess I shouldn’t have been shocked when she relapsed.”
“That had to be hard.” Her eyebrows furrowed. “When did she relapse?”
“She OD’d on prescription painkillers the week we were supposed to get married.”
“Oh, how awful.” She cupped his cheek. “I’m so sorry.”
Hurt lingered in his eyes even though he shrugged. “If it had to happen, at least it was before the wedding. I was taking her to the hospital when I missed the call from my dad.”
What call? “We all get our connections crossed.”
“Yeah, but if I’d answered, I might’ve saved his life.”
Her mouth fell open. “What?”
Looking off toward the stage, he dropped his chin. “Dad called me for backup when he went to haul in a felon. I wasn’t there for him. He lost his life because of it. I had no idea the message he left would be the last time I ever heard his voice.”
Torment tightened his features. She wanted to absorb his pain and carry it for him. “You couldn’t save two lives at the same time, Trey. Not even Superman can do that.”
He sighed. “No, I guess not.”
But his tone said he didn’t believe that. He felt responsible, and his heartbreak tore her apart. “What happened to the life you did save?”
“Jenna?” He laughed without humor. “She went into rehab, using the money we’d planned for our honeymoon, and met some guy there. We were over, so I didn’t care. She’s still in and out of rehab, mostly out, and still roping people into her crazy schemes. She’s a piece of work.” His jaw tightened. “When I left Vegas, I finally saw how toxic she was.”
“Do you wish things had worked out differently?” she asked, dreading the answer.
“No.” He shook his head, and this time his laugh was genuine. “We would’ve ended up as one of those miserable married couples that stay together for the sake of the kids. Things turned out for the best.” His smile reached his eyes. “Besides, I was waiting for you.”
The words made her heart soar. He’d shared his story of love and loss, inspiring her to do the same. “If things had turned out different eight years ago, I wouldn’t be here with you either.”
“Tell me about it.” He swept both her legs over one thigh, wedging her left shoulder against his chest. Then he looped his arms around her waist, enclosing her in a protective circle.
She appreciated the gesture more than words, as she prepared to delve into memories of one of the worst day of her life. “I could tell something was wrong with Daniel the week before our wedding. He seemed distant, distracted. Whenever I tried to be affectionate or talk about last minute details, it was like he’d checked out. I figured it was typical bachelor jitters. He assured me everything was fine, but I should’ve listened to my instincts.”
Trey stared at her intently, allowing her to continue at her own pace as her thoughts unspooled.
“We met in ROTC, graduated college, and then used our army computer skills to enter the workforce. We were hired by the same company, but he ended up becoming my superior. That’s when we became more than friends. We’d planned the wedding to match our two year anniversary, and while the ceremony wasn’t grand, I’d worked so hard to make it come together on our small budget. My mom had always struggled when it came to money, but she somehow scraped together the cash to buy the material to make my wedding dress. It was beautiful, with pearls and lace and a long satin train. The first time I tried it on I felt like Cinderella and we both cried.”
Sinking her toes into the warm grass beside them, she sighed at her one sweet memory during that time then spoke in a rush, “I stood at the back of the church and the music started playing, I looked down the aisle but didn’t see Dan in front of the altar. I thought maybe he’d planned some grand entrance, since he’d always been a showman. So I went down the aisle by myself, stood on the steps by the minister and waited.” Misery collected in her throat. “And waited. He never came. He left me at the altar on our wedding day.”
Trey’s jaw dropped and anger clouded his gaze. “How could he do that to you?”
Repressed sensations of hurt and abandonment traveled through her veins like shards of broken glass leading straight to her heart. I don’t know, she tried to say, except she couldn’t push the words past the lump of unshed tears in her throat. Though she had her suspicions. Facing a future with a woman who couldn’t bear him children had turned a decent man into a cold, heartless deserter.
Clearing her throat, she shoved those memories back down into a box in her psyche marked Do Not Open. “You know what’s crazy? Dan tried to connect with me on Facebook a couple months ago. I didn’t reply. What was I going to say? ‘Gee, great to hear from you after you walked out on me in front of a church full of people.’ Some things are better left alone.”
With a disgusted huff, Trey shook his head. “What an idiot. He had a serious mental defect. Any guy who could walk away from you doesn’t deserve you.”
She leaned her head on his broad shoulder, and he rested his cheek against her hair.
“For the record,” he stated, “I’m not an idiot. I know a good thing when I’ve found it.”
I won’t walk away from you. The suggestion underlying his words sent a flutter through her chest. A warm glow spread from her head to her toes. She snuggled closer to him, wishing they were alone so they could physically explore their raw, heartfelt moment.
Why did Trey have to be so perfect? She believed she’d found the real thing, the right man, just when she was about to leave. Then again, she never would’ve pursued their attraction if she had known from the start she might fall for him. Life was either wretchedly unfair or had tricked her into her present situation. She wasn’t sure which was worse—or better. Nothing made sense except being here in his arms. She tried hard to trust that things would work themselves out. She also wanted to hate this sense of limbo and uncertainty. Yet if indecision bought her more time with him, she’d pay that price. He was the best thing that had happened to her years.
