Den of Sorrows
Page 60
His back was covered in scars. They were faint, but they were everywhere. Her breath caught in her throat and she felt anger swell inside of her. Who had hurt him?
"It was a long time ago," he said quietly as he turned to face her. Drake stepped closer to the bars and, like a magnet drawn to each other, Bethany took another step closer toward him. Her head was tilted back so she could look up at him. He was even bigger close up.
"Who did that? Why did they do it?"
Drake reached out slowly, pausing once. She guessed that he was waiting to see if she'd back away. She’d known nothing but the violent touch of the vampires for so long. She’d recoiled from their touches—the way they’d handled her, like a piece of tough steak to be beaten, tenderized, and then consumed. But now she didn’t recoil. She realized that she wanted to be touched, gently, but not just by anyone. Bethany wanted to be touched by Drake—only Drake.
"My old Alpha was a cruel person. He demanded a level of obedience that was impossible to meet. So he punished us." His fingers ran slowly through several strands of her long hair.
She stepped closer again and she was nearly pressed against the bars. His hand moved from her hair to her face, and Bethany held her breath as he ran the pads of his fingers down her cheek, and further down her neck. He traced the tender flesh where his bite now appeared and she felt goosebumps rise on her skin.
Bethany tried to keep her eyes open but the warmth from his hand was seeping into her, making her want to get closer. "Why do I feel like this?" she asked and was surprised at the breathy quality of her voice.
"Because you're mine and I am yours. Touch between mates is potent and powerful."
"So I wouldn't feel this way with another man?" Her eyes snapped open when she heard the deep growl.
Bethany looked up and saw that his eyes were glowing again.
Drake took several deep breaths before answering. "No. There is no other male for you. Just as there is no other female for me."
"I, um," Bethany couldn't seem to get any words out.
Drake shook his head at her. "No decisions have to be made right now. We have time. All I ask is that you give us a chance. Give me a chance."
She could see the fear of rejection in his eyes, and it made her want to reassure him that she wasn't going anywhere. She didn't want him to be hurt or worried. It was completely irrational to feel that way for a stranger. "Okay," she finally answered. She couldn't think of a reason not to give him a chance. Okay, maybe him being a werewolf was a good reason, but she didn't feel threatened by him. She actually felt safer with him than she ever had in her life.
"Thank you," he said and dropped his hand from her neck.
Without thinking about what she was doing, Bethany reached through the bars and grabbed his hand. Her fingers laced through his and as soon as their skin made contact again, she felt a sense of rightness. "Is this okay?" she motioned to their hands.
"You can touch me whenever, wherever, however, and as often as you like."
Bethany felt the blush that moved up her neck to her face.
Not knowing, again, what to say, she moved on to the other thing, besides Drake, that was heavy on her heart. "What about my family?"
"What about them?" he asked.
"Can I see them?" Bethany wasn't even sure if she wanted to see them, at least not right away. She had some serious healing to do before she opened old wounds.
"We can go to them when you are ready. I will be with you if you'd like."
His voice was so gentle, so caring, that it was hard to reconcile that he was the same man who growled and snarled and turned into a huge wolf.
"You will go with me?"
"If you would allow it, I would never leave your side."
His honesty was intense, but she was glad he wasn't attempting to tiptoe around her. She'd agreed to give him a chance. And though right then, she didn't really understand what all that entailed, it had to be better than the life she'd been living. Though she seemed calm on the outside, she was close to her breaking point. She was so tired—so tired of being afraid—of wondering if she would die today. She was tired of being unsure about her future. And most of all, she was tired of having to be strong all on her own, alone. But while she didn't want to be alone, she also didn't want someone telling her what to do, not anymore. She wanted to make her own decisions. She wanted to finally feel in control of her life.
Drake wanted the bars out of the way. He wanted to take Bethany in his arms and hold her, protect her, and help her begin to heal. He could feel the turmoil coming off of her in turbulent waves. She was confused, frustrated, and unsure. He was surprised that he didn't feel any fear coming from her, but he was a little worried that she might be in shock and that, perhaps, the fear would hit later. He wanted to comfort her, needed to make her understand that all of her fears were for naught.
"Bethany." Drake’s voice shook with the emotions he was trying to desperately keep under control, but his wolf was not making it easy. "Please believe me when I tell you I have no desire to control you or make decisions for you. I won't lie. I do want to take care of you. My instincts scream at me to make sure you are okay. If you have a need, I long to meet it. My wolf and I want to protect you, provide for you, and cherish you—never oppress you." He waited to see if she would respond. She stared straight at him, never dropping her eyes. He could tell she was weighing the truth of his words. Drake wanted her to trust him, but he could hear all of the lies she'd been fed.
The vampires had played with her mind for years. They'd toyed with her, telling her lies about the Canis lupus, because they'd known she was a dormant, and of course they wouldn't want her to trust her own race.
"Have you ever had a mate before?" she asked him and he was surprised by the question.
"No, I've never had a mate and will never have another. Canis lupus are created with one true mate in their lives."
"What about girlfriends?" Bethany's hand fidgeted in his.
Drake shook his head. "I'm about to blow your mind," he said with a small grin as her eyes widened. "I've never had a girlfriend. I've never kissed a girl, and I've never held hands with a girl. —until now." He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.
Bethany's mouth had dropped open at his declaration, making him want to laugh but he held it in. Drake wasn't surprised that she was shocked. He, after all, was a century old. Human males usually had had multiple girlfriends before they ever reach adulthood.
"It was a long time ago," he said quietly as he turned to face her. Drake stepped closer to the bars and, like a magnet drawn to each other, Bethany took another step closer toward him. Her head was tilted back so she could look up at him. He was even bigger close up.
"Who did that? Why did they do it?"
Drake reached out slowly, pausing once. She guessed that he was waiting to see if she'd back away. She’d known nothing but the violent touch of the vampires for so long. She’d recoiled from their touches—the way they’d handled her, like a piece of tough steak to be beaten, tenderized, and then consumed. But now she didn’t recoil. She realized that she wanted to be touched, gently, but not just by anyone. Bethany wanted to be touched by Drake—only Drake.
"My old Alpha was a cruel person. He demanded a level of obedience that was impossible to meet. So he punished us." His fingers ran slowly through several strands of her long hair.
She stepped closer again and she was nearly pressed against the bars. His hand moved from her hair to her face, and Bethany held her breath as he ran the pads of his fingers down her cheek, and further down her neck. He traced the tender flesh where his bite now appeared and she felt goosebumps rise on her skin.
Bethany tried to keep her eyes open but the warmth from his hand was seeping into her, making her want to get closer. "Why do I feel like this?" she asked and was surprised at the breathy quality of her voice.
"Because you're mine and I am yours. Touch between mates is potent and powerful."
"So I wouldn't feel this way with another man?" Her eyes snapped open when she heard the deep growl.
Bethany looked up and saw that his eyes were glowing again.
Drake took several deep breaths before answering. "No. There is no other male for you. Just as there is no other female for me."
"I, um," Bethany couldn't seem to get any words out.
Drake shook his head at her. "No decisions have to be made right now. We have time. All I ask is that you give us a chance. Give me a chance."
She could see the fear of rejection in his eyes, and it made her want to reassure him that she wasn't going anywhere. She didn't want him to be hurt or worried. It was completely irrational to feel that way for a stranger. "Okay," she finally answered. She couldn't think of a reason not to give him a chance. Okay, maybe him being a werewolf was a good reason, but she didn't feel threatened by him. She actually felt safer with him than she ever had in her life.
"Thank you," he said and dropped his hand from her neck.
Without thinking about what she was doing, Bethany reached through the bars and grabbed his hand. Her fingers laced through his and as soon as their skin made contact again, she felt a sense of rightness. "Is this okay?" she motioned to their hands.
"You can touch me whenever, wherever, however, and as often as you like."
Bethany felt the blush that moved up her neck to her face.
Not knowing, again, what to say, she moved on to the other thing, besides Drake, that was heavy on her heart. "What about my family?"
"What about them?" he asked.
"Can I see them?" Bethany wasn't even sure if she wanted to see them, at least not right away. She had some serious healing to do before she opened old wounds.
"We can go to them when you are ready. I will be with you if you'd like."
His voice was so gentle, so caring, that it was hard to reconcile that he was the same man who growled and snarled and turned into a huge wolf.
"You will go with me?"
"If you would allow it, I would never leave your side."
His honesty was intense, but she was glad he wasn't attempting to tiptoe around her. She'd agreed to give him a chance. And though right then, she didn't really understand what all that entailed, it had to be better than the life she'd been living. Though she seemed calm on the outside, she was close to her breaking point. She was so tired—so tired of being afraid—of wondering if she would die today. She was tired of being unsure about her future. And most of all, she was tired of having to be strong all on her own, alone. But while she didn't want to be alone, she also didn't want someone telling her what to do, not anymore. She wanted to make her own decisions. She wanted to finally feel in control of her life.
Drake wanted the bars out of the way. He wanted to take Bethany in his arms and hold her, protect her, and help her begin to heal. He could feel the turmoil coming off of her in turbulent waves. She was confused, frustrated, and unsure. He was surprised that he didn't feel any fear coming from her, but he was a little worried that she might be in shock and that, perhaps, the fear would hit later. He wanted to comfort her, needed to make her understand that all of her fears were for naught.
"Bethany." Drake’s voice shook with the emotions he was trying to desperately keep under control, but his wolf was not making it easy. "Please believe me when I tell you I have no desire to control you or make decisions for you. I won't lie. I do want to take care of you. My instincts scream at me to make sure you are okay. If you have a need, I long to meet it. My wolf and I want to protect you, provide for you, and cherish you—never oppress you." He waited to see if she would respond. She stared straight at him, never dropping her eyes. He could tell she was weighing the truth of his words. Drake wanted her to trust him, but he could hear all of the lies she'd been fed.
The vampires had played with her mind for years. They'd toyed with her, telling her lies about the Canis lupus, because they'd known she was a dormant, and of course they wouldn't want her to trust her own race.
"Have you ever had a mate before?" she asked him and he was surprised by the question.
"No, I've never had a mate and will never have another. Canis lupus are created with one true mate in their lives."
"What about girlfriends?" Bethany's hand fidgeted in his.
Drake shook his head. "I'm about to blow your mind," he said with a small grin as her eyes widened. "I've never had a girlfriend. I've never kissed a girl, and I've never held hands with a girl. —until now." He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.
Bethany's mouth had dropped open at his declaration, making him want to laugh but he held it in. Drake wasn't surprised that she was shocked. He, after all, was a century old. Human males usually had had multiple girlfriends before they ever reach adulthood.
