Desolation
Page 28
As much as I want my sister with me, I need to talk to Rainer on my own. This meeting might just go south, and I don’t want her to witness the heartbreak that will cause me. “Find a table. I’ll come when I’m ready.”
She nods, squeezing my shoulder. “I’ll be right over there if you need me, Pippi.”
I hug her softly, and then walk towards the bar. There’s a young woman serving, and when I reach the counter she stops and stares at me. She’s blond, and busty, and quite beautiful. She’s also snotty. Her face is impatient as she glares at me. “Can I get you something, or are you going to stare all day?”
“Ah, I’m here to see Rainer.”
She narrows her eyes. “And who are you?”
I swallow. “A friend.”
“What kind of friend?”
Honestly, I don’t have the patience for people like her. I’m already feeling as though I’m going to lose my lunch. I need to get this over with, and she’s only delaying that.
“An old family friend. I came to see him. Can you please go and tell him he has a visitor?”
“Do you have a name?” she snipes.
“No. Just get him.”
She blinks at me, and turns and storms out. I’m surprised at my snappiness, but I’m so nervous the words just flow out. I grip the edge of the bar and stare at the door she just stormed toward. I watch it and watch it. When it swings open and she comes back out followed by a man, my stomach lurches.
Oh. Sweet. Heaven.
It’s him. I was right. He’s no longer a young man, but a man in full force. His body, which was always huge, is now bigger and more muscled. He has tattoos snaking up and down his forearms, and even over his knuckles. His chest is broad, and he’s wearing a tight black tee. His hair, still dark, is a few inches longer than I remember and messy. His face is now masculine, his jaw strong and his nose slightly bent.
He’s a dangerous kind of beautiful.
The girl glares at me, but Rainer stops and talks to a man who grabs his arm. I think I’m going to be sick. I don’t know that I can do this. He looks scarier. What if he screams at me to go? I’ll never be able to handle it. I clasp my hands together to try and halt my shaking.
Then he turns.
His eyes go right past me and to the bartender. “Who is here to see me?”
His voice is thicker, huskier, even better than it was on the phone.
“That one there.” The bartender jabs a thumb at me, and Rainer turns.
It’s as if the world is suddenly in slow motion. His eyes find me and settle on my face. For a second, for an agonizing second I think he might not know who I am. But I know the moment he figures it out. His face drops and something washes over his features—a kind of dark pain that I’ve only ever seen in my eyes.
And suddenly I can’t do it.
I can’t breathe.
I can’t think.
My world goes numb.
I turn and I run, I run as fast as I can out of the bar. Santana calls my name, but I don’t stop. I push past the people coming through the door and the moment I hit the cool breeze I stumble. I fall forward but a hard set of arms wrap around my waist, pulling me up. I make a sharp keening sound and tears burst from my eyes.
“Pippa?”
It’s him. It’s him.
“Fucking Jesus, is it really you?”
“Rainer,” I croak.
He spins me around and then my cheek is crushed against his chest. His hold is tight and I can barely breathe through it, but I don’t care. He could crush me against a wall until there was no air left in my body, and I wouldn’t care. My tiny arms go out and close around his waist. It’s hard there; he’s as muscled as he once was. His body shakes the same way mine does, and we stand there on the street, trembling with emotion.
He’s the first to pull back, and when he looks down at me, I see he’s got the same black eyes he always had. They’re glassy as he reaches down and cups my jaw in his big hand. He stares at me, as if he never ever thought he’d see me again. Maybe he thought I was dead.
“I never thought I’d see your face again, Pippa. I see you every night in my dreams, but I thought that would be all I ever got. Fuck, princess, is it really you?”
“It’s really me,” I whisper. “I . . . I thought . . .”
“Fuck, sweetheart,” he rasps, pulling me back in.
We hold each other again, and this time I pull back first. I reach up and stroke my fingers over his stubble. He turns his face into my palm. I’m sure to onlookers this looks quite interesting. A huge man, and a tiny woman, and he’s got his face in her palm as if he’s the fragile one. He isn’t, though. I know just how strong Rainer is.
“How long have you been . . . out?” he says, staring into my eyes.
“Three years.”
His eyes flutter closed and he growls, “Thank fuck.”
“What happened to you?” I whisper.
“I’ll tell you, but right now . . . I just need to stare at you.”
A throat clears, and we turn to see Santana watching us with a small smile on her face.
“Oh,” I say, stepping back. “Rainer, this is my sister, Santana.”
Rainer’s brows shoot up and he gives her a truly stunning half-smile. “Heard a lot about you. Good to meet you.”
He stretches his hand out and Santana takes it, smiling. “I hear you and Pippa were close. I’m glad she has found someone who understands.”
She nods, squeezing my shoulder. “I’ll be right over there if you need me, Pippi.”
I hug her softly, and then walk towards the bar. There’s a young woman serving, and when I reach the counter she stops and stares at me. She’s blond, and busty, and quite beautiful. She’s also snotty. Her face is impatient as she glares at me. “Can I get you something, or are you going to stare all day?”
“Ah, I’m here to see Rainer.”
She narrows her eyes. “And who are you?”
I swallow. “A friend.”
“What kind of friend?”
Honestly, I don’t have the patience for people like her. I’m already feeling as though I’m going to lose my lunch. I need to get this over with, and she’s only delaying that.
“An old family friend. I came to see him. Can you please go and tell him he has a visitor?”
“Do you have a name?” she snipes.
“No. Just get him.”
She blinks at me, and turns and storms out. I’m surprised at my snappiness, but I’m so nervous the words just flow out. I grip the edge of the bar and stare at the door she just stormed toward. I watch it and watch it. When it swings open and she comes back out followed by a man, my stomach lurches.
Oh. Sweet. Heaven.
It’s him. I was right. He’s no longer a young man, but a man in full force. His body, which was always huge, is now bigger and more muscled. He has tattoos snaking up and down his forearms, and even over his knuckles. His chest is broad, and he’s wearing a tight black tee. His hair, still dark, is a few inches longer than I remember and messy. His face is now masculine, his jaw strong and his nose slightly bent.
He’s a dangerous kind of beautiful.
The girl glares at me, but Rainer stops and talks to a man who grabs his arm. I think I’m going to be sick. I don’t know that I can do this. He looks scarier. What if he screams at me to go? I’ll never be able to handle it. I clasp my hands together to try and halt my shaking.
Then he turns.
His eyes go right past me and to the bartender. “Who is here to see me?”
His voice is thicker, huskier, even better than it was on the phone.
“That one there.” The bartender jabs a thumb at me, and Rainer turns.
It’s as if the world is suddenly in slow motion. His eyes find me and settle on my face. For a second, for an agonizing second I think he might not know who I am. But I know the moment he figures it out. His face drops and something washes over his features—a kind of dark pain that I’ve only ever seen in my eyes.
And suddenly I can’t do it.
I can’t breathe.
I can’t think.
My world goes numb.
I turn and I run, I run as fast as I can out of the bar. Santana calls my name, but I don’t stop. I push past the people coming through the door and the moment I hit the cool breeze I stumble. I fall forward but a hard set of arms wrap around my waist, pulling me up. I make a sharp keening sound and tears burst from my eyes.
“Pippa?”
It’s him. It’s him.
“Fucking Jesus, is it really you?”
“Rainer,” I croak.
He spins me around and then my cheek is crushed against his chest. His hold is tight and I can barely breathe through it, but I don’t care. He could crush me against a wall until there was no air left in my body, and I wouldn’t care. My tiny arms go out and close around his waist. It’s hard there; he’s as muscled as he once was. His body shakes the same way mine does, and we stand there on the street, trembling with emotion.
He’s the first to pull back, and when he looks down at me, I see he’s got the same black eyes he always had. They’re glassy as he reaches down and cups my jaw in his big hand. He stares at me, as if he never ever thought he’d see me again. Maybe he thought I was dead.
“I never thought I’d see your face again, Pippa. I see you every night in my dreams, but I thought that would be all I ever got. Fuck, princess, is it really you?”
“It’s really me,” I whisper. “I . . . I thought . . .”
“Fuck, sweetheart,” he rasps, pulling me back in.
We hold each other again, and this time I pull back first. I reach up and stroke my fingers over his stubble. He turns his face into my palm. I’m sure to onlookers this looks quite interesting. A huge man, and a tiny woman, and he’s got his face in her palm as if he’s the fragile one. He isn’t, though. I know just how strong Rainer is.
“How long have you been . . . out?” he says, staring into my eyes.
“Three years.”
His eyes flutter closed and he growls, “Thank fuck.”
“What happened to you?” I whisper.
“I’ll tell you, but right now . . . I just need to stare at you.”
A throat clears, and we turn to see Santana watching us with a small smile on her face.
“Oh,” I say, stepping back. “Rainer, this is my sister, Santana.”
Rainer’s brows shoot up and he gives her a truly stunning half-smile. “Heard a lot about you. Good to meet you.”
He stretches his hand out and Santana takes it, smiling. “I hear you and Pippa were close. I’m glad she has found someone who understands.”
