Desperate Chances
Page 17
Just when we thought we had made it, we realized pretty damn quickly that we were just another flash in the proverbial pan. Soon after our second album disappeared from the charts, Cuban Cadillac told us that we were being replaced with Total Distance, a clichéd pop rock group that had just hit big with a single called Highway Heartache.
We were dumped for a group of dudes with girl hair and sparkly jeans adored by thirteen year olds everywhere. Our pride took a serious hit.
Yeah, we still had our hardcore fans. The ones who followed us from show to show and bought everything we put out there, no matter how crappy it was. But the fly by night fans, the ones that had gone crazy for Perfect Regret and had bought thousands of copies of Current Static hadn’t exactly hung around for our next album.
And Cuban Cadillac, another struggling band trying to hold onto their fickle audience, hadn’t been interested in sticking around to help us ride the wave.
Tate at Pirate Records had been a little pissed when we had been kicked off the tour. We got the barrage of threats about our future. We were told that unless our sales increased they couldn’t justify keeping us on their roster of talent.
In other words, Generation Rejects’ days appeared to be numbered.
And we were all trying not to get depressed and pissed about it. We told ourselves over and over again that it was just the business. And in some ways I had been prepared for the down swing. My cousin Josh had warned me before we had gone on the road all those years ago. Josh had been working as a club promoter for years and had seen his fair share of bands rise and fall.
“Mitch, man, you need to grow some thick skin on your sack. There’s gonna be some crazy high times. You’re gonna have bitches throwing themselves at you. You’re gonna have people wanting your autograph. You’re gonna feel wanted.” My cousin had taken a drag off his cigarette and looked at me like I was about to go off to war and might not come back. He was so damn serious.
“But then one day you might find it’s all gone. And those same bitches will be clamoring for someone else’s dick. And they don’t want your autograph anymore. And that label that seemed so supportive and willing to help you get your name out? Yeah, they’ll kick your sorry ass to the curb without thinking twice.”
I had laughed and dismissed his words as unnecessary scare tactics. “Dude, we’ve got this. Stop stressing.”
Josh looked at me like I was an idiot. Which, I had admittedly been. “I hope you’ve got this. Because the ride is fun until it runs off the rails.”
Those were some majorly prophetic words.
Because it seemed that now we were just another band who had almost made it.
That sucked donkey balls.
But I had my band. My friends.
My music—even if no one cared about it but us.
And I had Sophie Lanier.
That’s all I needed.
Until Garrett had to mention her name.
“Wow, Gracie hasn’t been around in months. It’ll be good to see her,” Cole said, rolling up the mic cable and packing it away in the trunk.
I made sure to keep my eyes on my bass. I took my time putting it back in the case. I didn’t want to look at Garrett who I knew was looking at me as he spoke about the girl who had broken my fucking heart.
And I sure as shit didn’t want to look at my girlfriend sitting on the edge of the stage, watching the entire exchange way too closely.
Because she knew about Gracie and me. She knew everything.
I had hooked up with Sophie only two weeks after Gracie had run from my bed. One day I had been drinking whiskey since noon. I was a sloppy drunk. And that night I had been crying to whoever would listen about this woman who had crushed my heart. It wasn’t my finest hour.
I noticed a familiar woman sitting in the corner with a few people from my high school. She was sort of cute and best of all she looked nothing like Gracie.
So I had all but fallen off my barstool and stumbled to her table. I don’t remember a whole lot about our conversation, but I was pretty sure it involved garbled sounds that were meant to pass for words.
I did remember it taking a while for me to recognize Sophie and to recall how I knew her. In fact, she had to remind me that we had dated briefly in high school. I honestly couldn’t believe she wanted anything to do with me after that. I had been a bit of a dick.
Sophie drove me to Garrett’s where I lived when not on the road. No one had been home. Garrett was in Massachusetts visiting Riley, and Cole was with Vivian. Which had led me to think about Gracie.
And then the crying started. I was a blubbering wreck. And Sophie had sat on the couch with me and let me warble on and on about this other chick I had a hard-on for.
Yet somehow, we ended up having sex. Don’t expect me to explain how that had happened. One minute I was snotting all over her about Gracie and the next I had my cock inside her.
All I did know was that for those few moments it took to blow my load—and it didn’t take long unfortunately—thank you, whiskey dick—I wasn’t thinking about Gracie and my pathetic, broken heart.
I liked Sophie. I was attracted to her. And I definitely liked that I was able to get it up for someone that wasn’t Gracie. It made me feel like I wasn’t totally ruined.
But the next morning had been extremely awkward. I had mumbled apologies and Sophie had been obviously embarrassed by it all.
“I’m sorry. About last night,” I had told her, not really wanting to look her in the eye. I was a certified ass. I had totally rebounded on this very sweet, very attractive woman. She deserved better than that.
We were dumped for a group of dudes with girl hair and sparkly jeans adored by thirteen year olds everywhere. Our pride took a serious hit.
Yeah, we still had our hardcore fans. The ones who followed us from show to show and bought everything we put out there, no matter how crappy it was. But the fly by night fans, the ones that had gone crazy for Perfect Regret and had bought thousands of copies of Current Static hadn’t exactly hung around for our next album.
And Cuban Cadillac, another struggling band trying to hold onto their fickle audience, hadn’t been interested in sticking around to help us ride the wave.
Tate at Pirate Records had been a little pissed when we had been kicked off the tour. We got the barrage of threats about our future. We were told that unless our sales increased they couldn’t justify keeping us on their roster of talent.
In other words, Generation Rejects’ days appeared to be numbered.
And we were all trying not to get depressed and pissed about it. We told ourselves over and over again that it was just the business. And in some ways I had been prepared for the down swing. My cousin Josh had warned me before we had gone on the road all those years ago. Josh had been working as a club promoter for years and had seen his fair share of bands rise and fall.
“Mitch, man, you need to grow some thick skin on your sack. There’s gonna be some crazy high times. You’re gonna have bitches throwing themselves at you. You’re gonna have people wanting your autograph. You’re gonna feel wanted.” My cousin had taken a drag off his cigarette and looked at me like I was about to go off to war and might not come back. He was so damn serious.
“But then one day you might find it’s all gone. And those same bitches will be clamoring for someone else’s dick. And they don’t want your autograph anymore. And that label that seemed so supportive and willing to help you get your name out? Yeah, they’ll kick your sorry ass to the curb without thinking twice.”
I had laughed and dismissed his words as unnecessary scare tactics. “Dude, we’ve got this. Stop stressing.”
Josh looked at me like I was an idiot. Which, I had admittedly been. “I hope you’ve got this. Because the ride is fun until it runs off the rails.”
Those were some majorly prophetic words.
Because it seemed that now we were just another band who had almost made it.
That sucked donkey balls.
But I had my band. My friends.
My music—even if no one cared about it but us.
And I had Sophie Lanier.
That’s all I needed.
Until Garrett had to mention her name.
“Wow, Gracie hasn’t been around in months. It’ll be good to see her,” Cole said, rolling up the mic cable and packing it away in the trunk.
I made sure to keep my eyes on my bass. I took my time putting it back in the case. I didn’t want to look at Garrett who I knew was looking at me as he spoke about the girl who had broken my fucking heart.
And I sure as shit didn’t want to look at my girlfriend sitting on the edge of the stage, watching the entire exchange way too closely.
Because she knew about Gracie and me. She knew everything.
I had hooked up with Sophie only two weeks after Gracie had run from my bed. One day I had been drinking whiskey since noon. I was a sloppy drunk. And that night I had been crying to whoever would listen about this woman who had crushed my heart. It wasn’t my finest hour.
I noticed a familiar woman sitting in the corner with a few people from my high school. She was sort of cute and best of all she looked nothing like Gracie.
So I had all but fallen off my barstool and stumbled to her table. I don’t remember a whole lot about our conversation, but I was pretty sure it involved garbled sounds that were meant to pass for words.
I did remember it taking a while for me to recognize Sophie and to recall how I knew her. In fact, she had to remind me that we had dated briefly in high school. I honestly couldn’t believe she wanted anything to do with me after that. I had been a bit of a dick.
Sophie drove me to Garrett’s where I lived when not on the road. No one had been home. Garrett was in Massachusetts visiting Riley, and Cole was with Vivian. Which had led me to think about Gracie.
And then the crying started. I was a blubbering wreck. And Sophie had sat on the couch with me and let me warble on and on about this other chick I had a hard-on for.
Yet somehow, we ended up having sex. Don’t expect me to explain how that had happened. One minute I was snotting all over her about Gracie and the next I had my cock inside her.
All I did know was that for those few moments it took to blow my load—and it didn’t take long unfortunately—thank you, whiskey dick—I wasn’t thinking about Gracie and my pathetic, broken heart.
I liked Sophie. I was attracted to her. And I definitely liked that I was able to get it up for someone that wasn’t Gracie. It made me feel like I wasn’t totally ruined.
But the next morning had been extremely awkward. I had mumbled apologies and Sophie had been obviously embarrassed by it all.
“I’m sorry. About last night,” I had told her, not really wanting to look her in the eye. I was a certified ass. I had totally rebounded on this very sweet, very attractive woman. She deserved better than that.
