Desperate Chances
Page 19
Why would they be worried about her? Had something happened?
It didn’t matter. Gracie had issues. A lot of them. I had tried to help her, to be there for her, and she had shit all over me.
But if something was going on with her—
It doesn’t matter!
She had Viv and Maysie. She had her parents.
Who treated her like crap. Remember how she cried in your arms as she told you about how cold and horrible they were. What if she was drinking again? Maybe she needs me…
I had to stop thinking about this stuff.
I slammed the top of my case down and quickly closed the clasps.
“I’m heading out,” I said a little too loudly as I got to my feet.
Garrett looked at me and nodded. I refused to meet his eyes. The fucker saw too much as it was.
“You ready to go?” I asked Sophie, who was still sitting quietly on the edge of the stage. She nodded and scrambled to her feet.
I picked up my bass and started to head off the stage.
“Are you guys going to be around before the show on Friday? We thought once the girls were in town we could all go out and get something to eat,” Cole said.
I gripped Sophie’s hand tightly. “I doubt we’ll be around,” I responded coolly.
I noticed the look that passed between Cole, Jordan, and Garrett. It was obvious I was a topic of discussion when I wasn’t around.
“Well, if you change your mind, let us know,” Jordan added.
I didn’t bother to respond as I all but dragged Sophie out of the venue.
“Whoa, Mitch. Slow down. My legs are half the length of yours,” Sophie laughed once we were outside.
I let go of her and shoved my hands in my pocket, feeling like an idiot. “Sorry. I was just feeling a little claustrophobic in there. It’s a small venue, isn’t it?”
Sophie frowned. “Yeah, it’s a lot smaller than some of the other places you’ve played. Are you sure—”
“You hungry? I could eat a horse,” I interjected.
Sophie’s eyes narrowed. “What’s going on, Mitch?”
I shrugged and started walking towards a small diner at the end of the block. “Nothing. I’m fine. Just hungry and a little tired, I guess.”
Sophie sighed from beside me. “I had hoped that by now this wasn’t still going to be an issue,” she murmured under her breath.
I knew what she was referring to and I felt a rush of my old friend guilt.
“Soph—”
“Let’s get something to eat. Maybe you’ll feel better after that,” she said brightly. But it was fake. So fake.
Just like your entire relationship.
Wait a minute! Where did that come from?
I didn’t think that, did I?
I looked down at my girlfriend of over a year and the guilt became overwhelming.
I cared about Sophie.
But I didn’t love her.
No.
Maybe.
I wasn’t sure.
I only had my feelings for Gracie to compare it to. And there really wasn’t any comparison. But I wanted to love Sophie. It would be so much better than this giant lump of balled up bullshit in my gut that Gracie had left behind.
Fuck feelings. They sucked.
We remained quiet until we were seated in the restaurant.
“So Maysie and the other girls are coming up this weekend. That’ll be…fun,” Sophie hedged, looking at the menu.
Sophie really was pretty with curly brown hair that fell to her shoulders and nice brown eyes. She had a sweet innocence that was appealing. She was quiet and on the shy side and made me feel as though she needed protecting.
It seemed I had a thing for the girls I felt the need to take care of.
I had to stop thinking about Gracie.
It would only lead to all sorts of trouble.
Crap.
Now I was thinking about Gracie.
Her smile.
Her laugh.
The way she rolled her eyes at my lame attempts at jokes.
The cute little birthmark shaped like a heart on the inside of her thigh…
Stop it, fuck face! Look at your nice girlfriend!
Sophie looked nothing like Gracie.
Gracie.
Messed-up-but-I-couldn’t-get-enough-of-her Gracie.
Cue the minor heart attack and need to upchuck all over the table.
Sophie cleared her throat and pushed hair out of her eyes. I remember how much I liked her in high school. She had been the first girl I had ever gone on a date with. I had been a total dork back in the day. Talking to girls left me stuttering and unable to formulate sentences. And Soph had been the new girl who had taken pity on the socially inept dweeb who wore tube socks way past when it was acceptable to do so.
It hadn’t been a relationship by any means, only a few dates. She let me kiss her and touch her boob once and then it had fizzled out. No messy break-up or tears. We just sort of stopped hanging out.
The truth was that before she came back into my life, I hadn’t thought of Sophie Lanier in years. Not until the night we ran into each other at Barton’s.
“Sure,” I said, staring so hard at the menu I’d have the damn thing memorized.
“Is something wrong, Mitch? You’re really tense?”
I forced my shoulders to relax and I looked over at Sophie and gave her, what I hoped, was a sincere smile.
“Like I said, I’m just hungry. You know I can be a real diva until I up my calorie intake,” I teased.
Sophie’s face darkened. “Is this about Gracie?” she asked quietly. Too quietly.
It didn’t matter. Gracie had issues. A lot of them. I had tried to help her, to be there for her, and she had shit all over me.
But if something was going on with her—
It doesn’t matter!
She had Viv and Maysie. She had her parents.
Who treated her like crap. Remember how she cried in your arms as she told you about how cold and horrible they were. What if she was drinking again? Maybe she needs me…
I had to stop thinking about this stuff.
I slammed the top of my case down and quickly closed the clasps.
“I’m heading out,” I said a little too loudly as I got to my feet.
Garrett looked at me and nodded. I refused to meet his eyes. The fucker saw too much as it was.
“You ready to go?” I asked Sophie, who was still sitting quietly on the edge of the stage. She nodded and scrambled to her feet.
I picked up my bass and started to head off the stage.
“Are you guys going to be around before the show on Friday? We thought once the girls were in town we could all go out and get something to eat,” Cole said.
I gripped Sophie’s hand tightly. “I doubt we’ll be around,” I responded coolly.
I noticed the look that passed between Cole, Jordan, and Garrett. It was obvious I was a topic of discussion when I wasn’t around.
“Well, if you change your mind, let us know,” Jordan added.
I didn’t bother to respond as I all but dragged Sophie out of the venue.
“Whoa, Mitch. Slow down. My legs are half the length of yours,” Sophie laughed once we were outside.
I let go of her and shoved my hands in my pocket, feeling like an idiot. “Sorry. I was just feeling a little claustrophobic in there. It’s a small venue, isn’t it?”
Sophie frowned. “Yeah, it’s a lot smaller than some of the other places you’ve played. Are you sure—”
“You hungry? I could eat a horse,” I interjected.
Sophie’s eyes narrowed. “What’s going on, Mitch?”
I shrugged and started walking towards a small diner at the end of the block. “Nothing. I’m fine. Just hungry and a little tired, I guess.”
Sophie sighed from beside me. “I had hoped that by now this wasn’t still going to be an issue,” she murmured under her breath.
I knew what she was referring to and I felt a rush of my old friend guilt.
“Soph—”
“Let’s get something to eat. Maybe you’ll feel better after that,” she said brightly. But it was fake. So fake.
Just like your entire relationship.
Wait a minute! Where did that come from?
I didn’t think that, did I?
I looked down at my girlfriend of over a year and the guilt became overwhelming.
I cared about Sophie.
But I didn’t love her.
No.
Maybe.
I wasn’t sure.
I only had my feelings for Gracie to compare it to. And there really wasn’t any comparison. But I wanted to love Sophie. It would be so much better than this giant lump of balled up bullshit in my gut that Gracie had left behind.
Fuck feelings. They sucked.
We remained quiet until we were seated in the restaurant.
“So Maysie and the other girls are coming up this weekend. That’ll be…fun,” Sophie hedged, looking at the menu.
Sophie really was pretty with curly brown hair that fell to her shoulders and nice brown eyes. She had a sweet innocence that was appealing. She was quiet and on the shy side and made me feel as though she needed protecting.
It seemed I had a thing for the girls I felt the need to take care of.
I had to stop thinking about Gracie.
It would only lead to all sorts of trouble.
Crap.
Now I was thinking about Gracie.
Her smile.
Her laugh.
The way she rolled her eyes at my lame attempts at jokes.
The cute little birthmark shaped like a heart on the inside of her thigh…
Stop it, fuck face! Look at your nice girlfriend!
Sophie looked nothing like Gracie.
Gracie.
Messed-up-but-I-couldn’t-get-enough-of-her Gracie.
Cue the minor heart attack and need to upchuck all over the table.
Sophie cleared her throat and pushed hair out of her eyes. I remember how much I liked her in high school. She had been the first girl I had ever gone on a date with. I had been a total dork back in the day. Talking to girls left me stuttering and unable to formulate sentences. And Soph had been the new girl who had taken pity on the socially inept dweeb who wore tube socks way past when it was acceptable to do so.
It hadn’t been a relationship by any means, only a few dates. She let me kiss her and touch her boob once and then it had fizzled out. No messy break-up or tears. We just sort of stopped hanging out.
The truth was that before she came back into my life, I hadn’t thought of Sophie Lanier in years. Not until the night we ran into each other at Barton’s.
“Sure,” I said, staring so hard at the menu I’d have the damn thing memorized.
“Is something wrong, Mitch? You’re really tense?”
I forced my shoulders to relax and I looked over at Sophie and gave her, what I hoped, was a sincere smile.
“Like I said, I’m just hungry. You know I can be a real diva until I up my calorie intake,” I teased.
Sophie’s face darkened. “Is this about Gracie?” she asked quietly. Too quietly.
