Desperate Chances
Page 53
My fingers fell to the side of her neck and lingered there. Cold skin to fevered flesh. I could smell her. She still smelled like strawberries. I hadn’t been able to stomach the scent for almost a year after…
I dropped my hand, realizing I was still touching her.
“You’re too tough to let anything stop you. I always knew it. I’m just glad you’re finally figuring it out as well.” My voice shook, damn it. But I meant it. Every word.
“Thanks, Mitch. That means a lot.” And I could tell it did. Gracie had never been able to lie to me.
Except when you let her into your room and you thought you had a future together. She lied to you then. She made you think that by giving you her body, she was giving you here heart. She made you actually think that you had a chance.
“I’d better get going,” I said, jerking my thumb in the direction of my car.
“Yeah, me too. I’ve got to hit the grocery store before going home. Fingers crossed I don’t walk in to find Cole walking around naked in the kitchen, again.” Gracie made a face.
“Well, you can always use Chunky Monkey.” I hadn’t meant to say it. But I did. It was out there now.
Why did I keep doing this? Reminding the both of us of who we used to be to each other?
Because being back in Bakersville made everything different. We both felt it.
She gave me a small smile but didn’t respond to my offer. It was probably for the best. It had been a moment of weakness. I had a lot of those around her.
“You’re still driving that thing? It hasn’t blown up yet?” I asked her, indicating the ten-year-old Honda she had always driven.
“Not all of us can afford brand new Jeeps.” She motioned to my vehicle, one of the few splurges I had allowed myself with the advance money from the label.
“You need to get those tires changed. You’ll cause an accident,” I couldn’t help lecturing. I noted how bald they were. She shouldn’t be driving that thing. It was a death trap with bad weather in the forecast.
I couldn’t stand the thought of something happening to her…
“You should let me drive you home.”
Gracie laughed, shaking her head. “You’ve always been such a worry wart, Mitch. I’m fine. But I promise to get my tires sorted ASAP,” she promised even though it didn’t make me feel better. “I appreciate you looking out for me. It’s nice,” she paused. “I’d forgotten how much.”
Warmth flooded through me. My heart thudded painfully in my chest.
I had to go. I couldn’t stand there with her when I was supposed to be somewhere else. With someone else…
Sophie…
“Yeah, well make sure you do. I’ll be giving you grief if you don’t,” I threatened with a smirk.
“I’m counting on it,” she countered.
“I’m sure you are.” My voice sounded husky.
Were we flirting?
What the hell?
“Are you coming to our show next weekend? It’d be great to see you there,” I said suddenly. It was like word vomit. It came out of nowhere. With no warning. And it spewed all over the place.
“I wouldn’t miss it,” she said, her fingers gripping her car door, her eyes burning into mine.
Why was I having such a hard time breathing?
Breathe, damn it! Before you pass out!
“Oh. Okay. Well. Um. That’s good. I’ve—uh—I’ve got to go,” I said in a rush, getting into my car and slamming the door shut. She waved at me and I waved back, putting the car into reverse and getting the hell out of there.
But I looked in the rearview mirror.
I could see her standing there. Watching me leave.
Fuck.
“Let’s go,” Sophie said once I arrived to pick her up. She had run out the door as soon as I pulled into the driveway. I didn’t even have the chance to get out of the car.
I had only been to her house twice before and never for long. I had never met her Dad, who also lived there. I never really pushed it because it hadn’t mattered. Sophie came and saw me on the road or when I was home. She worked around my schedule. What suited me. It was convenient.
But as the two of us drove to Garrett’s, I found it strange that I didn’t really know a whole lot about the woman I had dated for a year.
I knew basic fact. Bits and pieces.
I knew that she worked at her dad’s garage, which is why she was able to get so much time off to see me. I knew that she had two older sisters who she didn’t really get along with. Her mom had left when she was in high school and that’s when she moved to Bakersville.
I knew that she was a nice person. She was sweet and shy and unobtrusive. She went along for the ride without ever questioning where we were headed. She was simple. Easy.
But I never saw her vulnerability. Her tears. I never looked into her eyes and saw the parts of her that she kept hidden from everyone else.
We were shallow. Barely touching the surface.
She had tried to help me heal my heart. But had it really worked?
I wasn’t so sure.
I didn’t think Sophie had ever really given me anything of substance that I could move on to.
And I felt like shit for thinking that.
“I’ve missed you. I haven’t really seen you since we’ve been back,” Sophie said once we arrived at Garrett’s. We walked up to the porch, close but not touching. I didn’t feel the need to reach out and take her hand. I was okay keeping my distance. There was something seriously wrong with that.
I dropped my hand, realizing I was still touching her.
“You’re too tough to let anything stop you. I always knew it. I’m just glad you’re finally figuring it out as well.” My voice shook, damn it. But I meant it. Every word.
“Thanks, Mitch. That means a lot.” And I could tell it did. Gracie had never been able to lie to me.
Except when you let her into your room and you thought you had a future together. She lied to you then. She made you think that by giving you her body, she was giving you here heart. She made you actually think that you had a chance.
“I’d better get going,” I said, jerking my thumb in the direction of my car.
“Yeah, me too. I’ve got to hit the grocery store before going home. Fingers crossed I don’t walk in to find Cole walking around naked in the kitchen, again.” Gracie made a face.
“Well, you can always use Chunky Monkey.” I hadn’t meant to say it. But I did. It was out there now.
Why did I keep doing this? Reminding the both of us of who we used to be to each other?
Because being back in Bakersville made everything different. We both felt it.
She gave me a small smile but didn’t respond to my offer. It was probably for the best. It had been a moment of weakness. I had a lot of those around her.
“You’re still driving that thing? It hasn’t blown up yet?” I asked her, indicating the ten-year-old Honda she had always driven.
“Not all of us can afford brand new Jeeps.” She motioned to my vehicle, one of the few splurges I had allowed myself with the advance money from the label.
“You need to get those tires changed. You’ll cause an accident,” I couldn’t help lecturing. I noted how bald they were. She shouldn’t be driving that thing. It was a death trap with bad weather in the forecast.
I couldn’t stand the thought of something happening to her…
“You should let me drive you home.”
Gracie laughed, shaking her head. “You’ve always been such a worry wart, Mitch. I’m fine. But I promise to get my tires sorted ASAP,” she promised even though it didn’t make me feel better. “I appreciate you looking out for me. It’s nice,” she paused. “I’d forgotten how much.”
Warmth flooded through me. My heart thudded painfully in my chest.
I had to go. I couldn’t stand there with her when I was supposed to be somewhere else. With someone else…
Sophie…
“Yeah, well make sure you do. I’ll be giving you grief if you don’t,” I threatened with a smirk.
“I’m counting on it,” she countered.
“I’m sure you are.” My voice sounded husky.
Were we flirting?
What the hell?
“Are you coming to our show next weekend? It’d be great to see you there,” I said suddenly. It was like word vomit. It came out of nowhere. With no warning. And it spewed all over the place.
“I wouldn’t miss it,” she said, her fingers gripping her car door, her eyes burning into mine.
Why was I having such a hard time breathing?
Breathe, damn it! Before you pass out!
“Oh. Okay. Well. Um. That’s good. I’ve—uh—I’ve got to go,” I said in a rush, getting into my car and slamming the door shut. She waved at me and I waved back, putting the car into reverse and getting the hell out of there.
But I looked in the rearview mirror.
I could see her standing there. Watching me leave.
Fuck.
“Let’s go,” Sophie said once I arrived to pick her up. She had run out the door as soon as I pulled into the driveway. I didn’t even have the chance to get out of the car.
I had only been to her house twice before and never for long. I had never met her Dad, who also lived there. I never really pushed it because it hadn’t mattered. Sophie came and saw me on the road or when I was home. She worked around my schedule. What suited me. It was convenient.
But as the two of us drove to Garrett’s, I found it strange that I didn’t really know a whole lot about the woman I had dated for a year.
I knew basic fact. Bits and pieces.
I knew that she worked at her dad’s garage, which is why she was able to get so much time off to see me. I knew that she had two older sisters who she didn’t really get along with. Her mom had left when she was in high school and that’s when she moved to Bakersville.
I knew that she was a nice person. She was sweet and shy and unobtrusive. She went along for the ride without ever questioning where we were headed. She was simple. Easy.
But I never saw her vulnerability. Her tears. I never looked into her eyes and saw the parts of her that she kept hidden from everyone else.
We were shallow. Barely touching the surface.
She had tried to help me heal my heart. But had it really worked?
I wasn’t so sure.
I didn’t think Sophie had ever really given me anything of substance that I could move on to.
And I felt like shit for thinking that.
“I’ve missed you. I haven’t really seen you since we’ve been back,” Sophie said once we arrived at Garrett’s. We walked up to the porch, close but not touching. I didn’t feel the need to reach out and take her hand. I was okay keeping my distance. There was something seriously wrong with that.
