Desperate Chances
Page 66
Jordan clasped my shoulder. “Well I guess you’d better get out the mop then.”
“Y ou. God help me, I just want you.”
I rolled over in bed, keeping my eyes resolutely closed, hugging my pillow tightly to my chest, replaying the scene with Mitch over and over in my head.
The look on his face.
The taste of his mouth.
His heart in his eyes.
“You. God help me, I just want you.”
He made me feel things. Dangerous things.
Perfect, out of control things.
I should have told him how I felt. That was the moment to lay it all out on the table.
But there was Sophie…
He had chosen to be with someone else.
After you told him there would never be a chance between you.
A chance.
Chances.
That’s all we were.
Possibilities and almosts.
It was frustrating and heartbreaking. I felt as though I were losing him all over again. Because after that amazing kiss he had driven away.
“I’m sorry.”
We were always apologizing to one another. We were always making mistakes. I was tired of regrets. They were exhausting. They didn’t change anything that had happened.
But I couldn’t help it.
Because I regretted so damn much.
“Gracie, are you up?” Vivian knocked on my bedroom door and before waiting for an answer, she poked her head in. She frowned when she saw me still in bed. “What’s up with you? Don’t you have a meeting at ten? It takes you at least an hour to properly shave and moisturize!”
I snorted. Vivian knew my grooming routine better than I did.
I finally opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling. “Yeah, I’m up,” I sighed.
“I won’t be home until late tonight. Cole and I are heading over to the apartment to start moving things in. You’re welcome to come over if you want. We’ll probably order some pizza and stuff.”
I swung my legs out of the bed and grabbed my robe, putting it on. I picked up my phone and checked my messages.
Nothing.
Don’t be disappointed. What did you think would happen? He’d go to his girlfriend and break up with her for you? Just because you shared a stupid kiss?
I put the phone back on the table and pulled clothes out of my closet.
“That’s okay. I’m supposed to have dinner with my parents after work,” I told her. Ugh. Dinner with my parents. I wasn’t in the mood for their lectures and criticisms but there were certain things I needed to set straight with them. I couldn’t go through life not addressing things because they were difficult or uncomfortable.
And I couldn’t spend my life checking my phone waiting for him to call.
Take life by the balls, Gracie Cook!
“Well, you could come by after that. I’m sure by that point you could use some carbs and decent conversation,” Vivian laughed as I passed her on my way to the bathroom.
“Yeah, we’ll see,” I said.
Vivian bit down on her bottom lip, her eyes concerned. “Mays and Jordan said they’d come by and Garrett gets back into town today.” She hesitated before adding, “I don’t think Mitch will be there, if that’s the problem. Cole said he had stuff to do today. So if you’re worrying about a run in—”
“That’s not an issue, Viv. Not anymore.” I drew myself upright, holding my robe closed with one hand and gripping my clothes in the other.
“Okay. Well good. Just please think about coming by. I’d like to show you the place. I need to know you’re okay with all this. I don’t want you to feel as though I’m leaving you high and dry,” Vivian said.
I squeezed Vivian’s arm as I stepped into the bathroom. “You’re moving in with your boyfriend. That’s how things are supposed to go, Viv. You don’t need to worry about me. I’ll be fine. I promise.” Vivian didn’t look convinced. “Okay, I’ll come by after I leave my parents. I can’t wait to see it.”
Vivian relaxed. “Great! Thank you, G!” She gave me a hug and I dropped my clothes on the floor in her exuberance. We both laughed.
“Okay, now let me get ready. I’ve got places to go and people to see,” I teased, closing the door in her face.
“Well hurry up. I need to do my hair and the light in my room is horrible!” Vivian called out.
After I was finished getting dressed, I checked my phone again.
Still nothing.
My thumb hovered over the keys and I was tempted to send him a text. But what would I say?
Did you dump your girlfriend yet?
Or how about what the hell is your problem? How could you kiss me and drive off like that? What’s wrong with you?
I could always settle on a string of expletives to get my point across.
I sighed. This was ridiculous. I couldn’t leave things like this.
I couldn’t live life in the backseat.
I grabbed my purse. “Vivian, I’m heading out. I’ll see you later tonight,” I yelled.
“Where are you going? You haven’t even had your coffee yet! That’s suicidal!” Vivian said, poking her head out from her room.
I pulled on my coat and wrapped a scarf around my neck. “I—uh—I’ve got something to do this morning. I’ll tell you later.”
Vivian gave me a knowing look. “Okay then, well, tell me later.”
Then I realized I was without wheels. That put a significant cramp in my Go-Gracie-you-can-do-it mood.
“Y ou. God help me, I just want you.”
I rolled over in bed, keeping my eyes resolutely closed, hugging my pillow tightly to my chest, replaying the scene with Mitch over and over in my head.
The look on his face.
The taste of his mouth.
His heart in his eyes.
“You. God help me, I just want you.”
He made me feel things. Dangerous things.
Perfect, out of control things.
I should have told him how I felt. That was the moment to lay it all out on the table.
But there was Sophie…
He had chosen to be with someone else.
After you told him there would never be a chance between you.
A chance.
Chances.
That’s all we were.
Possibilities and almosts.
It was frustrating and heartbreaking. I felt as though I were losing him all over again. Because after that amazing kiss he had driven away.
“I’m sorry.”
We were always apologizing to one another. We were always making mistakes. I was tired of regrets. They were exhausting. They didn’t change anything that had happened.
But I couldn’t help it.
Because I regretted so damn much.
“Gracie, are you up?” Vivian knocked on my bedroom door and before waiting for an answer, she poked her head in. She frowned when she saw me still in bed. “What’s up with you? Don’t you have a meeting at ten? It takes you at least an hour to properly shave and moisturize!”
I snorted. Vivian knew my grooming routine better than I did.
I finally opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling. “Yeah, I’m up,” I sighed.
“I won’t be home until late tonight. Cole and I are heading over to the apartment to start moving things in. You’re welcome to come over if you want. We’ll probably order some pizza and stuff.”
I swung my legs out of the bed and grabbed my robe, putting it on. I picked up my phone and checked my messages.
Nothing.
Don’t be disappointed. What did you think would happen? He’d go to his girlfriend and break up with her for you? Just because you shared a stupid kiss?
I put the phone back on the table and pulled clothes out of my closet.
“That’s okay. I’m supposed to have dinner with my parents after work,” I told her. Ugh. Dinner with my parents. I wasn’t in the mood for their lectures and criticisms but there were certain things I needed to set straight with them. I couldn’t go through life not addressing things because they were difficult or uncomfortable.
And I couldn’t spend my life checking my phone waiting for him to call.
Take life by the balls, Gracie Cook!
“Well, you could come by after that. I’m sure by that point you could use some carbs and decent conversation,” Vivian laughed as I passed her on my way to the bathroom.
“Yeah, we’ll see,” I said.
Vivian bit down on her bottom lip, her eyes concerned. “Mays and Jordan said they’d come by and Garrett gets back into town today.” She hesitated before adding, “I don’t think Mitch will be there, if that’s the problem. Cole said he had stuff to do today. So if you’re worrying about a run in—”
“That’s not an issue, Viv. Not anymore.” I drew myself upright, holding my robe closed with one hand and gripping my clothes in the other.
“Okay. Well good. Just please think about coming by. I’d like to show you the place. I need to know you’re okay with all this. I don’t want you to feel as though I’m leaving you high and dry,” Vivian said.
I squeezed Vivian’s arm as I stepped into the bathroom. “You’re moving in with your boyfriend. That’s how things are supposed to go, Viv. You don’t need to worry about me. I’ll be fine. I promise.” Vivian didn’t look convinced. “Okay, I’ll come by after I leave my parents. I can’t wait to see it.”
Vivian relaxed. “Great! Thank you, G!” She gave me a hug and I dropped my clothes on the floor in her exuberance. We both laughed.
“Okay, now let me get ready. I’ve got places to go and people to see,” I teased, closing the door in her face.
“Well hurry up. I need to do my hair and the light in my room is horrible!” Vivian called out.
After I was finished getting dressed, I checked my phone again.
Still nothing.
My thumb hovered over the keys and I was tempted to send him a text. But what would I say?
Did you dump your girlfriend yet?
Or how about what the hell is your problem? How could you kiss me and drive off like that? What’s wrong with you?
I could always settle on a string of expletives to get my point across.
I sighed. This was ridiculous. I couldn’t leave things like this.
I couldn’t live life in the backseat.
I grabbed my purse. “Vivian, I’m heading out. I’ll see you later tonight,” I yelled.
“Where are you going? You haven’t even had your coffee yet! That’s suicidal!” Vivian said, poking her head out from her room.
I pulled on my coat and wrapped a scarf around my neck. “I—uh—I’ve got something to do this morning. I’ll tell you later.”
Vivian gave me a knowing look. “Okay then, well, tell me later.”
Then I realized I was without wheels. That put a significant cramp in my Go-Gracie-you-can-do-it mood.
