Destroyed
Page 10
“I can’t believe I’m doing this, but try to be less of a bastard.” Her hand came out, palm facing upward ready to accept something. “Give me back my knife and ask me politely, gently. Don’t give me a reason to want to use it.”
My heart forgot how to beat, stuttering over itself. Respect braided with lust and I fell further into her trap. Somehow she’d ended up with the power, and I hated it.
Slipping a hand into my pocket, I removed the blade and held it out. My hands clenched. She’s f**king up my life already. My body trembled with the need for pain. I needed to be on my own. I had to find relief from this horror. What was I thinking?
“You’ll stay for one month.”
She nodded, eyes latching onto her knife.
“You’ll let me f**k you however I please.”
Her body tensed but slowly she nodded.
“You’ll stop arguing and answer any question I have?”
Her gaze met mine, a flash of ire in their depths. Finally, she nodded.
I dropped the knife into her waiting palm, careful not to touch her. I doubted my self-control could handle more stimulation at that moment. I felt like I’d been to war, came out bleeding, and not entirely sure who won.
The instant the knife fell into her grip, she wrapped her fingers tight around it and hugged it to her body.
I sensed the moment she came to her conclusion. Fire lit her face and resolution strengthened her body. “You mistreat me, and I’ll make sure you’ll be dickless for the rest of your life. Treat me with respect and desire and I’ll stay.”
Brushing a strand of hair curling around her cheek, she murmured, “I accept your offer, Obsidian Fox. Don’t make me regret it.”
Chapter 5
My favourite saying was: the beauty in this world was hidden by filth and lies while evil was painted in beauty and smiles.
It had become a testament I lived by. A rule I never broke. Because I no longer trusted beauty and smiles. I learned the hard way.
I learned to scratch the surface and search for truth and realness, all the while protecting myself in lies.
But then a man, who was neither beautiful or a liar, made a proposition. With fear and stupidity, I sold myself to him. Sold myself to a fighter who could sense my lies as easily as a fox senses a rabbit.
I regretted it.
I revelled in it.
It destroyed me.
A second after I sold myself, a rush of horror smothered my heart.
What the hell am I doing?
I regretted it instantly, but I’d told Fox the truth. I would do anything for money, as money had the power to save Clara. She was the only thing worth fighting for. The only thing that would make me do such horrendous things.
If it meant she’d live another day, a month, a year—I would sell myself to countless men or work in a mine or even deal drugs out of my tiny apartment.
I sold my dignity. My body. My very f**king soul for money. All because I had no other way. No other assets, no hope apart from trading myself like some possession at a garage sale.
But with horror came relief. Half an hour ago I had no hope, but now I had two hundred thousand wishes to find a way out of heartbreak.
Fox stood tall, watching me warily. He seemed as shocked as I was with what happened between us. I hadn’t lied when I said he could’ve had me for free. If he’d been cordial and kind—I would’ve willingly gone on a date and even slept with him.
He’s an ass**le but you like his arrogance, his iron-will, and demands.
I wanted to scrub my brain from such stomach-churning thoughts. I wasn’t a woman who bowed to the wills of men. I was a woman who shoved them down and trod all over them, leaving them in my dust. But Fox…he was angry but damaged. Scary but lonely. Demanding but requesting.
I couldn’t make sense of him at all. And that made me nervous. How would I know he would pay?
How will you stay for a month?
I gritted my teeth. That was one part of the bargain I would break. I wouldn’t stay for the month. I would sneak out and see Clara. I would find a way to see my sick daughter because I could never live with myself if she thought I’d abandoned her. And I wouldn’t put up with such stupid demands to keep me prisoner. A revision of the terms would be addressed, but not yet. Not until I gave him a little, so I could take a lot.
Cocking my head, I asked, “How can I be sure you’ll pay?”
His hands clenched as a burst of energy filtered through him. He smiled, but it didn’t reach his white-grey eyes. “I’ll pay. I promise.”
“You promised I couldn’t hurt you, but I did. Like I said, don’t make promises you can’t keep.” My eyes fell to his torn shirt, searching for the small cut I’d delivered.
“Alright, I see trust is a big issue for you. Just like I gave you back your knife in good faith, I’ll pay you half up front.” He raised an eyebrow. “Does that settle your nerves?”
Holding my head high, I said, “Yes, that would be appreciated.” The moment I had the cash I would take it home to Clara. As tempting as it would be to break the rest of the contract, I wouldn’t. I gave him my word.
My stomach fluttered at the thought of him touching me, thrusting deep inside. The money was for Clara, but the sex—I wanted that for me. I wanted to see what people wrote sonnets about. If the sparks between Fox and me were any indication, when he finally took me it would be worth the mild discomfort of accepting his money for a service rendered.
Fox came closer and I steeled myself against his overbearing presence. His scent of smoke and metal surrounded me, playing havoc with my thoughts. My knickers were damp from fighting with him, and my nipple still tingled where he’d cupped my breast.
His hand landed on my hip. A thumb circled my pronounced hipbone beneath the gossamer material of my dress. If I thought an innocuous touch on my wrist resonated with connection it was nothing, nothing, compared to the burst of hotness, the euphoria of his fingers stroking my tender flesh.
“I can’t wait to see you naked, dobycha.” His head bowed to run a nose through my styled hair. “I want your hair loose so I can hold it while I take you from behind.”
My core melted, my heart thrummed. I had nothing to retaliate with.
His gaze fell to my lips. “Don’t move.” Time slowed as his hand came up and cupped my braless breast again. “Tell me what you like so I can make this good for you, too.”
I shuddered as he brushed a thumb over the highly sensitive nipple. I swayed forward, willingly giving him access. “I like that.” A strange kind of peace settled over me. Gone was the embarrassment at selling myself. I would get more than just money from this. I would unlock hidden desires I never knew existed. I’d done the right thing and fate hadn’t forgotten about me—it had listened to my screams for help. It had given me Obsidian Fox.
His grip suddenly went from caressing to possessing, and I bit my lip, swallowing back a moan.
He sucked in a heavy breath, pinching my nipple with strong fingers almost as if testing himself, pushing boundaries I didn’t understand. “Do you like that?”
My head was suddenly too heavy for my neck; my body too floppy to stand. I wanted to press against him, encourage more of the aliveness to filter.
.My cheeks heated at the thought of admitting I liked it rougher, but then I embraced the fighter he brought out in me and looked up through my eyelashes. “Yes. I like that.”
“As much as you fight, you like to be controlled.” His head dropped and the tips of his shaggy bronze hair touched mine. “I can’t wait to find out what else you enjoy.”
My stomach clenched, sending thrills of fear and need into my core. Shit. He did have a gift. Yes, he could sense things only a highly in-tune person could know, but he also had a power over me. His unnerving presence made me forget everything but him. He took over my world. He was an eclipse.
Dropping his hand, he murmured, “Get in my office. Now.” His gaze caused the swirling lust and temper to bubble once again in my blood.
He stepped back and the low illumination glittered on the silver of his scar. It ought to make him hideous, but it only made it that much harder to ignore him.
Taking a step toward the stairs, I said quietly, “I’ll come back tomorrow. Once I’ve given my excuses and packed.”
In one insanely fast move, he barricaded the stairwell. He moved like a black ghost—silent, deadly, just as unnerving. “You’re not leaving. You agreed.”
My forehead furrowed, battling the call from his body to mine. “I agreed, yes. But not starting now. I need to go and see my—” I cut myself off.
Don’t tell him about Clara.
I found him sexually potent and secretly craved the dangerous unpredictably he presented, but I didn’t want him knowing about something so fragile and innocent.
Never.
Iciness replaced the heat he invoked. “I’ll come back tomorrow.”
A sliver of worry stabbed my heart. What if I left and he had second thoughts? What if he followed me home and found out I had a dying daughter? Buying a woman for sex was one thing, but it was an entirely different matter buying a mother.
Now the cash was in my reach, I wouldn’t give it up.
Fox shook his head, advancing toward me. My heart stuttered with his every step. “You’re not leaving until the month is up. Deal’s a deal.” He pushed me backward, not touching, just manhandling me by his sheer will. “I told you I wanted you. And I’m going to take you tonight. You’re nuts to think you can leave here without letting me sample what I’ve bought—especially after you made me work so hard to earn it.”
A trace of chocolate and smoky metal surrounded me—his scent was a contradiction. He wore authority like one would wear an aftershave—reeking of anger and power.
He’d already won the argument, but I loved the thrill of fighting with him. It made my dampness turn to wetness. It turned warmth to hot. It made me crave him. “You can’t expect me to stay here with no preparation. I have to arrange everything. I have to change my clothing. I need a toothbrush for heaven’s sake.”
He smiled, the scar on his cheek twitching a little. “I have a spare toothbrush that I’ll give you. As for clothes, what makes you think you’ll be wearing any? You said you’d give me a month. I didn’t say where you’d spend that month.”
My heart shot out of my chest and exploded through the ceiling. I wanted to squeeze my legs together at the indecent desire he conjured in my veins. But then images of being chained in some torture chamber bombarded my mind. Bondage and pain and submission. I was better than that. I wasn’t a submissive. I was his equal, and I wouldn’t—couldn’t—let someone abuse me.
I wanted him. But I wouldn’t give up my rights as a human being. “Just so we’re clear, I’m not agreeing to any torture, or pain-play. I’ll let you take me, and I’ll let you decide what I wear, but I will not let you bind me or hit me.” My breathing quickened in a mixture of lust and terror.
Fox slammed to a stop. His large shoulders rolled and he looked as if I’d said something blasphemous. “You have my word I won’t use whips or any other equipment on you. Unless you change your mind.” His face twisted with some strange afterthought. “However, bondage will have to be addressed.”
“What? No. That wasn’t agreed—”
“Agreed or not you gave me your word. You’re bound now.” The way he spoke resonated with past emotion. As if he’d learned that the hard way. A contract was a contract. And in this case, unbreakable.
“I promise I won’t hurt you. Stop pissing me off by doubting me.” His eyes narrowed, delving deep into mine as if he could expose every lie I’d ever spun. I’d shocked myself when I told the truth about my ear. I hadn’t told anyone. But I had no choice. A man like Fox could smell a fib like a pheromone. He would’ve known.
Oh, God. That was another thing I’d suffer—not having the protectiveness of my lies. I couldn’t mask my sadness through fakery; I wouldn’t be able to gloss over the truth.
Sounds of flesh hitting flesh and grunts of violence rung in my ears from down below as a fight reached a pinnacle moment. The burst of noise stole me from the small world I’d existed in with Fox and reminded me he owned a place of fighting and encouraged blood to flow. If he loved to hurt others, how could I trust that he wouldn’t hurt me?
Regret and worry swarmed in my skull like angry hornets. There was no way out of this deal and no way I wouldn’t be stung.
Fox kept a careful eye on me and moved toward the wall to his right. He stepped elegantly through the shadows as if he was a shadow himself. Punching in a code on a keypad lock, he swung open a door I hadn’t seen, camouflaged by the black décor. Inclining his chin, he said, “Now that’s cleared up, shall we?”
The stairs were open and beckoning. I could run and forget tonight ever happened. But I’d never get an offer like this again. I’d always wonder just how alive he could make me—just how fierce he would make me become.
This was my only chance to help Clara—unless I wanted to rob a bank, or came up with some equally reckless notion.
Gritting my teeth, I stalked into his office with all the bearing I could muster. Fox didn’t move and his body heat scorched all my reservations to ash. My skin tingled as a slow curl of attraction rose. My nipple throbbed remembering his touch.
It’s been too long.
So long since I’d been touched and cherished. I shook my head. I was spinning lies—I’d never been cherished or adored. I’d been used and thrown away. I’d been shown the illusion of being desired for a very brief moment only to learn a valuable lesson: nothing was sacred, least of all my virginity.
My heart forgot how to beat, stuttering over itself. Respect braided with lust and I fell further into her trap. Somehow she’d ended up with the power, and I hated it.
Slipping a hand into my pocket, I removed the blade and held it out. My hands clenched. She’s f**king up my life already. My body trembled with the need for pain. I needed to be on my own. I had to find relief from this horror. What was I thinking?
“You’ll stay for one month.”
She nodded, eyes latching onto her knife.
“You’ll let me f**k you however I please.”
Her body tensed but slowly she nodded.
“You’ll stop arguing and answer any question I have?”
Her gaze met mine, a flash of ire in their depths. Finally, she nodded.
I dropped the knife into her waiting palm, careful not to touch her. I doubted my self-control could handle more stimulation at that moment. I felt like I’d been to war, came out bleeding, and not entirely sure who won.
The instant the knife fell into her grip, she wrapped her fingers tight around it and hugged it to her body.
I sensed the moment she came to her conclusion. Fire lit her face and resolution strengthened her body. “You mistreat me, and I’ll make sure you’ll be dickless for the rest of your life. Treat me with respect and desire and I’ll stay.”
Brushing a strand of hair curling around her cheek, she murmured, “I accept your offer, Obsidian Fox. Don’t make me regret it.”
Chapter 5
My favourite saying was: the beauty in this world was hidden by filth and lies while evil was painted in beauty and smiles.
It had become a testament I lived by. A rule I never broke. Because I no longer trusted beauty and smiles. I learned the hard way.
I learned to scratch the surface and search for truth and realness, all the while protecting myself in lies.
But then a man, who was neither beautiful or a liar, made a proposition. With fear and stupidity, I sold myself to him. Sold myself to a fighter who could sense my lies as easily as a fox senses a rabbit.
I regretted it.
I revelled in it.
It destroyed me.
A second after I sold myself, a rush of horror smothered my heart.
What the hell am I doing?
I regretted it instantly, but I’d told Fox the truth. I would do anything for money, as money had the power to save Clara. She was the only thing worth fighting for. The only thing that would make me do such horrendous things.
If it meant she’d live another day, a month, a year—I would sell myself to countless men or work in a mine or even deal drugs out of my tiny apartment.
I sold my dignity. My body. My very f**king soul for money. All because I had no other way. No other assets, no hope apart from trading myself like some possession at a garage sale.
But with horror came relief. Half an hour ago I had no hope, but now I had two hundred thousand wishes to find a way out of heartbreak.
Fox stood tall, watching me warily. He seemed as shocked as I was with what happened between us. I hadn’t lied when I said he could’ve had me for free. If he’d been cordial and kind—I would’ve willingly gone on a date and even slept with him.
He’s an ass**le but you like his arrogance, his iron-will, and demands.
I wanted to scrub my brain from such stomach-churning thoughts. I wasn’t a woman who bowed to the wills of men. I was a woman who shoved them down and trod all over them, leaving them in my dust. But Fox…he was angry but damaged. Scary but lonely. Demanding but requesting.
I couldn’t make sense of him at all. And that made me nervous. How would I know he would pay?
How will you stay for a month?
I gritted my teeth. That was one part of the bargain I would break. I wouldn’t stay for the month. I would sneak out and see Clara. I would find a way to see my sick daughter because I could never live with myself if she thought I’d abandoned her. And I wouldn’t put up with such stupid demands to keep me prisoner. A revision of the terms would be addressed, but not yet. Not until I gave him a little, so I could take a lot.
Cocking my head, I asked, “How can I be sure you’ll pay?”
His hands clenched as a burst of energy filtered through him. He smiled, but it didn’t reach his white-grey eyes. “I’ll pay. I promise.”
“You promised I couldn’t hurt you, but I did. Like I said, don’t make promises you can’t keep.” My eyes fell to his torn shirt, searching for the small cut I’d delivered.
“Alright, I see trust is a big issue for you. Just like I gave you back your knife in good faith, I’ll pay you half up front.” He raised an eyebrow. “Does that settle your nerves?”
Holding my head high, I said, “Yes, that would be appreciated.” The moment I had the cash I would take it home to Clara. As tempting as it would be to break the rest of the contract, I wouldn’t. I gave him my word.
My stomach fluttered at the thought of him touching me, thrusting deep inside. The money was for Clara, but the sex—I wanted that for me. I wanted to see what people wrote sonnets about. If the sparks between Fox and me were any indication, when he finally took me it would be worth the mild discomfort of accepting his money for a service rendered.
Fox came closer and I steeled myself against his overbearing presence. His scent of smoke and metal surrounded me, playing havoc with my thoughts. My knickers were damp from fighting with him, and my nipple still tingled where he’d cupped my breast.
His hand landed on my hip. A thumb circled my pronounced hipbone beneath the gossamer material of my dress. If I thought an innocuous touch on my wrist resonated with connection it was nothing, nothing, compared to the burst of hotness, the euphoria of his fingers stroking my tender flesh.
“I can’t wait to see you naked, dobycha.” His head bowed to run a nose through my styled hair. “I want your hair loose so I can hold it while I take you from behind.”
My core melted, my heart thrummed. I had nothing to retaliate with.
His gaze fell to my lips. “Don’t move.” Time slowed as his hand came up and cupped my braless breast again. “Tell me what you like so I can make this good for you, too.”
I shuddered as he brushed a thumb over the highly sensitive nipple. I swayed forward, willingly giving him access. “I like that.” A strange kind of peace settled over me. Gone was the embarrassment at selling myself. I would get more than just money from this. I would unlock hidden desires I never knew existed. I’d done the right thing and fate hadn’t forgotten about me—it had listened to my screams for help. It had given me Obsidian Fox.
His grip suddenly went from caressing to possessing, and I bit my lip, swallowing back a moan.
He sucked in a heavy breath, pinching my nipple with strong fingers almost as if testing himself, pushing boundaries I didn’t understand. “Do you like that?”
My head was suddenly too heavy for my neck; my body too floppy to stand. I wanted to press against him, encourage more of the aliveness to filter.
.My cheeks heated at the thought of admitting I liked it rougher, but then I embraced the fighter he brought out in me and looked up through my eyelashes. “Yes. I like that.”
“As much as you fight, you like to be controlled.” His head dropped and the tips of his shaggy bronze hair touched mine. “I can’t wait to find out what else you enjoy.”
My stomach clenched, sending thrills of fear and need into my core. Shit. He did have a gift. Yes, he could sense things only a highly in-tune person could know, but he also had a power over me. His unnerving presence made me forget everything but him. He took over my world. He was an eclipse.
Dropping his hand, he murmured, “Get in my office. Now.” His gaze caused the swirling lust and temper to bubble once again in my blood.
He stepped back and the low illumination glittered on the silver of his scar. It ought to make him hideous, but it only made it that much harder to ignore him.
Taking a step toward the stairs, I said quietly, “I’ll come back tomorrow. Once I’ve given my excuses and packed.”
In one insanely fast move, he barricaded the stairwell. He moved like a black ghost—silent, deadly, just as unnerving. “You’re not leaving. You agreed.”
My forehead furrowed, battling the call from his body to mine. “I agreed, yes. But not starting now. I need to go and see my—” I cut myself off.
Don’t tell him about Clara.
I found him sexually potent and secretly craved the dangerous unpredictably he presented, but I didn’t want him knowing about something so fragile and innocent.
Never.
Iciness replaced the heat he invoked. “I’ll come back tomorrow.”
A sliver of worry stabbed my heart. What if I left and he had second thoughts? What if he followed me home and found out I had a dying daughter? Buying a woman for sex was one thing, but it was an entirely different matter buying a mother.
Now the cash was in my reach, I wouldn’t give it up.
Fox shook his head, advancing toward me. My heart stuttered with his every step. “You’re not leaving until the month is up. Deal’s a deal.” He pushed me backward, not touching, just manhandling me by his sheer will. “I told you I wanted you. And I’m going to take you tonight. You’re nuts to think you can leave here without letting me sample what I’ve bought—especially after you made me work so hard to earn it.”
A trace of chocolate and smoky metal surrounded me—his scent was a contradiction. He wore authority like one would wear an aftershave—reeking of anger and power.
He’d already won the argument, but I loved the thrill of fighting with him. It made my dampness turn to wetness. It turned warmth to hot. It made me crave him. “You can’t expect me to stay here with no preparation. I have to arrange everything. I have to change my clothing. I need a toothbrush for heaven’s sake.”
He smiled, the scar on his cheek twitching a little. “I have a spare toothbrush that I’ll give you. As for clothes, what makes you think you’ll be wearing any? You said you’d give me a month. I didn’t say where you’d spend that month.”
My heart shot out of my chest and exploded through the ceiling. I wanted to squeeze my legs together at the indecent desire he conjured in my veins. But then images of being chained in some torture chamber bombarded my mind. Bondage and pain and submission. I was better than that. I wasn’t a submissive. I was his equal, and I wouldn’t—couldn’t—let someone abuse me.
I wanted him. But I wouldn’t give up my rights as a human being. “Just so we’re clear, I’m not agreeing to any torture, or pain-play. I’ll let you take me, and I’ll let you decide what I wear, but I will not let you bind me or hit me.” My breathing quickened in a mixture of lust and terror.
Fox slammed to a stop. His large shoulders rolled and he looked as if I’d said something blasphemous. “You have my word I won’t use whips or any other equipment on you. Unless you change your mind.” His face twisted with some strange afterthought. “However, bondage will have to be addressed.”
“What? No. That wasn’t agreed—”
“Agreed or not you gave me your word. You’re bound now.” The way he spoke resonated with past emotion. As if he’d learned that the hard way. A contract was a contract. And in this case, unbreakable.
“I promise I won’t hurt you. Stop pissing me off by doubting me.” His eyes narrowed, delving deep into mine as if he could expose every lie I’d ever spun. I’d shocked myself when I told the truth about my ear. I hadn’t told anyone. But I had no choice. A man like Fox could smell a fib like a pheromone. He would’ve known.
Oh, God. That was another thing I’d suffer—not having the protectiveness of my lies. I couldn’t mask my sadness through fakery; I wouldn’t be able to gloss over the truth.
Sounds of flesh hitting flesh and grunts of violence rung in my ears from down below as a fight reached a pinnacle moment. The burst of noise stole me from the small world I’d existed in with Fox and reminded me he owned a place of fighting and encouraged blood to flow. If he loved to hurt others, how could I trust that he wouldn’t hurt me?
Regret and worry swarmed in my skull like angry hornets. There was no way out of this deal and no way I wouldn’t be stung.
Fox kept a careful eye on me and moved toward the wall to his right. He stepped elegantly through the shadows as if he was a shadow himself. Punching in a code on a keypad lock, he swung open a door I hadn’t seen, camouflaged by the black décor. Inclining his chin, he said, “Now that’s cleared up, shall we?”
The stairs were open and beckoning. I could run and forget tonight ever happened. But I’d never get an offer like this again. I’d always wonder just how alive he could make me—just how fierce he would make me become.
This was my only chance to help Clara—unless I wanted to rob a bank, or came up with some equally reckless notion.
Gritting my teeth, I stalked into his office with all the bearing I could muster. Fox didn’t move and his body heat scorched all my reservations to ash. My skin tingled as a slow curl of attraction rose. My nipple throbbed remembering his touch.
It’s been too long.
So long since I’d been touched and cherished. I shook my head. I was spinning lies—I’d never been cherished or adored. I’d been used and thrown away. I’d been shown the illusion of being desired for a very brief moment only to learn a valuable lesson: nothing was sacred, least of all my virginity.
