Devil May Cry

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Kat flashed back to Simi's room first to make sure the two of them were fine, especially Simi. She didn't know if the demon was friendly with Kytara or not, but experience had taught her that Simi took the death of her friends extremely hard-it was something Kat should have thought of before she'd sent her to Olympus with Kytara's body.
But as soon as Kat entered the room, she realized that she'd worried over nothing. Xirena had ordered room service, and the two of them were steadily eating their way through it.
"Fighting makes a Charonte really hungry," Xirena explained as she paused while eating a hamburger.
That worked for Kat, who wasn't going to pursue the matter any further than the fact that the demons were occupied and she hadn't scarred Simi.
Kat left them and went to Sin's penthouse. She found him lying sprawled across the bed, fully dressed. It looked as if he'd just laid down for a second, only to succumb to exhaustion. Her heart broke for him. He'd been through so much in the last couple of days.
Poor baby.
Using her limited powers, she stripped his clothes so that he could lie more comfortably. She bit her lip at the choice sight he made naked. He really did have one of the best bodies she'd ever seen on a man. From the broadness of his battle-scarred shoulders to the deep indentation of his abs, he was yummy. And it took all her willpower not to nip at that bronzed skin with her teeth. Really, he was as tempting as sin.
She stifled a laugh at her bad pun before she brushed her hand through his silken curls.
"How did it go?"
The deep rumble of his voice made her jump. "I thought you were asleep."
"I was until you touched me." Yawning, he rolled over onto his back.
Kat arched a brow at the sight of another part of his body that had also awakened. "You sure you're not Priapus?"
He snorted at that but made no move to cover himself. "Last I heard, that fool was trapped in a book to be a sex slave to women. Definitely not me-I can only seem to satisfy one woman." He gave her a meaningful look.
His expression made her weak with hope. "Does this mean I'm forgiven?"
Sin caught himself an instant before he said what he thought-I can only wish that I could stay mad at you. The words were on the tip of his tongue, but he didn't dare speak them. The last thing he needed was for her to know exactly how much control she had over him. That knowledge could only come back to bite him, most likely on the ass.
"Maybe," he whispered as she leaned over him to place a gentle kiss to his lips.
"I meant what I said earlier. I'll never hurt you again, Sin."
"And I want to believe you... I know you mean it when you say it, but my experience hasn't taught me that people can be trusted."
Shaking her head, she began kissing her way down his chest.
Sin sucked his breath in as his head swam from the heat of her lips on his skin. There was truly no better feeling than to have her with him, touching him like this. It was what made her so dangerous to him. He craved her, and when people craved something this badly it made them incredibly stupid.
And even knowing that, he was mesmerized by her as he watched her working her way over his chest. Her soft hand cupped him gently. He knew he was lost to her. Lost to the feelings she evoked as she made love to him.
He arched his back as she took him in her mouth. His heart racing, he cupped her head in his hand. He was in heaven at the moment, but he couldn't help wondering how long before it turned into hell.
Every woman in his life had taught him some vital lesson. His mother had taught him hatred. His wife scorn. His daughter love and Artemis betrayal.
What would Katra teach him when all was said and done? That was what he was terrified of. He'd let her into a place in his heart that he'd never allowed another being.
And she had the power to destroy him.
Kat groaned at the taste of Sin, at the hooded look of pleasure on his face as he watched her. She wasn't really sure what she was doing, but he seemed to be enjoying it and that was all that mattered to her. She wanted him to trust her even though she didn't deserve it, and she wanted to make amends for what she'd done to him.
If she ever could.
She'd always been so afraid of giving herself over to a man, of allowing one to hold any part of her, that she couldn't believe how easily Sin had wormed his way into her heart. What was it about him that touched her so deeply? That made her want to do anything to please him?
It was insane, but there was no denying what she felt. No denying the joy that something as minuscule as a smile from him could evoke.
His eyes were on fire as he pulled her up his body to kiss her. He rolled with her until she was beneath him. She sensed a desperation within him, an unnamed need.
But when he entered her, all she could feel from him was what she felt inside herself-the love she had for him. It was incredible.
Sin made love to her furiously as she ran her hands over his back and lifted her hips to drive him in even deeper. She was as hungry for him as he was for her, and that stunned him. Sure, he'd had other lovers more skilled and those who practically raped him in their fervor. But that wasn't the same as what he had with Kat. This wasn't two people scratching a mutual itch. This was two people who cared for each other.
And she loved him-that was what she'd said. No woman had ever told him that before. None. It was an impossible thing for him to accept, but still he wanted to believe it desperately.
Tenderness for her overwhelmed him as long-buried dreams rushed from some part of his heart he didn't even recognize. He wanted to have a future with her.
A family.
That thought jolted him so hard that he actually slid out of her for a moment. A family? What was he thinking? That would be all kinds of stupid.
Yet he wondered what a child with her would be like. Fair like its mother or dark like him? Would the baby be powerful? But the most important thing was that it would be a part of him and a part of her.
Ah jeez, I'm turning into an old woman.
Next thing, he'd be crocheting tea cozies and clipping coupons.
Or worse, wearing a pink bathrobe with fuzzy slippers.
Kat felt a strange shift in Sin's touch. He cradled her body tenderly against his and it melted it. She kissed him heatedly as he thrust against her. This was what she wanted. What she needed. Until him, she'd never known love, and she couldn't imagine ever feeling like this toward anyone else.
She wanted to hold him forever. To keep him close to her and to protect him from anyone who would hurt him.
Her body tingled as all her senses swirled together. In a bolt of white-hot pleasure, her orgasm came. Throwing her head back, Kat screamed in ecstasy.
Sin continued to thrust until he joined her there in paradise.
He collapsed against her, holding her tight while she listened to his heart pounding against her breast and his breath tickled her neck.
"I think," she whispered in his ear, "you've broken me."
"How so?"
"I can't feel my legs and I have no desire to ever leave this bed again."
He laughed. "Can I sleep up here?"
"Um, no. I want on top. You're heavy."
He faked an indignant gape. "Heavy? I'll have you know-"
"You're six feet, seven inches. Your bones alone weigh a ton."
"And what about you?"
"I'm heavy, too, but I want on top."
He nibbled at her lips. "Fine. I'll make a deal with you then... feel free to climb on top of me any time you want to." He rolled over then and pulled her across his body.
Smiling, Kat settled down by his side. "Oh yeah, this is perfect." She splayed her hand over his chest and merely took delight in the feel of his skin under her palm.
Sin couldn't breathe as he felt the heat of her body pressed up against his as she told him about Xypher and what she'd accomplished in Hades. While she talked, the scent of her body hung heavy in Sin's head and, to his surprise, he could feel his cock starting to harden again.
How could that be? And yet he couldn't deny what he felt. Some alien part of himself needed her more than his body needed to breathe.
Katra had a hold on him that he couldn't even begin to understand. But that same alien part of himself wouldn't change that hold for anything. And when she slid herself over him to feed, he felt an inexplicable closeness to her. It was like they were sharing more than blood with each other. They were sharing souls.
And as he lay there, lost in the scent and sensation that was Katra, he drifted off to sleep.
Well fed and sated, Kat smiled as she heard Sin's light snore. It was a sweet sound that quickly lulled her to sleep. But unlike the wonderful sharing that had zapped her strength, her dreams were fraught with nightmares.
All she could see was the gallu coming after her. Hear Kessar calling down the Dimme to kill them.
If only she knew it was a dream and not a premonition...
Kat woke up to an empty bed. She actually felt like pouting at the missing sight and warmth of Sin.
At least until she heard someone moving around outside. Smiling, she grabbed Sin's button-down shirt from the bed and shrugged it over her shoulders, leaving it unbuttoned to hopefully entice him back to bed before she went to sneak up on him.
She opened the door and smiled as she saw him bent over behind the bar. Biting her lip, she snuck up to him, but before she reached him he straightened.
Kat squeaked in alarm as she realized he wasn't tall enough or wide enough at this angle to be Sin. Kish turned around with a frown that turned to a gasp as he saw her nearly naked state.
Embarrassed to the depth of her soul, she ran toward the safety of the bedroom and slammed the door.
"Kat," he said from the other side. "It's okay. I didn't see anything. Really."
"Yeah, right."
"Okay, look. I will never admit to seeing anything. Please don't tell Sin or he'll gouge out my eyes. Okay? It's our secret. I swear."
Kat growled as she snatched up her clothes and dressed, only to remember that she could have done it without touching them. But at this point, she was so rattled, she didn't know what she was doing. "Why are you here?"
"I was cleaning up. Sin won't let housekeeping in. He doesn't trust them."
Kat snatched open the door. "He doesn't trust anyone."
"True. And I was keeping breakfast warm for you. Sin told me he'd have my balls if I didn't take care of you. Personally, I like my balls attached to my body, so I intend to take really good care of you in a purely platonic way."
He was an odd yet strangely amusing man. "Where is Sin?"
"Downstairs plotting gallu destruction with Damien. He said that you needed to rest and that I wasn't to disturb you. I didn't, did?"
"Not until a second ago."
He gave her a really pained expression. "You're going to get me killed, aren't you?"
She thought about it... hard. But in the end, she wasn't that mean. "No."
He let out a relieved breath as he backed up toward the bar. "I didn't know what you liked so I ordered some of everything. Cheese blintz, French toast, eggs nine different ways, bagels... you name it and it's here or I'll get it here ASAP. I figure whatever you don't eat we can feed to the demons."
Kat smiled in spite of herself. "I'm sure they'd appreciate it."
"You have no idea. The kitchen staff is going wild about the orders they're placing. We've had to import extra cooks from other casinos and restaurants for the two of them alone."
Laughing, Kat stepped around him to grab a piece of toast. "I'll just take some scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast with juice."
"Great. Sit right there"-he indicated a bar stool at the counter-"and I'll take care of it." He pointed toward the toast in her hand. "Jelly, jam, or butter?"
"None of that, thank you. I like it plain."
He held up two thumbs. "Works for me."
Kat took another bite as she watched him prepare a plate for her and she wondered what had brought such a quirky person into Sin's service. "So have you been with Sin long?"
Kish shrugged. "A few thousand years, give or take a decade or two."
She choked at his unexpected response. She'd assumed he was human, but obviously she was wrong. "Get out. Really?"
"That's why he trusts me." He set the plate down in front of her, then added the silverware and a linen napkin.
"But you're human, aren't you?"
He nodded. " I'm human, except when I first wake up in the morning. Even I don't want to be around myself then."
Normally that would have amused her. However, she now had a mystery to solve. "But if you're human-"
"How am I still alive?" He grinned and winked at her. "I'm a mind reader, too."
Yeah...
He cleaned up some of the eggs he'd spilled while filling her plate before he answered. "Back in the day, I made a really bad bargain with a demon for my soul in exchange for immortality and wealth." He met her gaze and she saw and felt his admiration and gratitude. "Sin saved me."
"How?"
He shrugged. "I never asked for the details. I was too afraid to find out what it had cost him. All I know is he bartered to free me and I've been with him ever since. There's nothing I wouldn't do for that man."
She could understand that and had to admire Kish for his loyalty. She'd been around enough centuries to know that most people, even when bailed out by someone, tended to turn on them for no apparent reason as soon as they had the chance. It said a lot for Kish's character that he was still here and still acknowledged the debt he owed Sin. "How did you meet?"
A wry light came into Kish's eyes as he covered up the leftover food. "Same as Damien-I was trying to kill him."
She choked on her eggs. That wasn't what she expected Kish to say. "And he let you live?"
"Freaky, huh?" Kish laughed before he continued. "Sin lives his entire life up to his eyeballs in death. Believe it or not, he saves everyone he can, when he can. I hadn't been bitten by my demon yet and so he was able to pull me out. Most of the people, and I use that term loosely, who work below owe Sin their lives in one way or another."
Wow. She was amazed by Sin's compassion even though he tried to keep his distance from others... especially after all the betrayal in his life. The fact that he would still reach out to help another...
He was incredible and it made her love him all the more.
She took a drink of juice before she spoke again. "But how can you still be alive?"
"Sin was the god of the calendar year. Even though Artemis took most of his powers, she didn't get them all, and that was one he semi-maintained. He's able to stop the aging cycle. Not as effectively as he could when he was a Sumerian god, but enough to keep me alive and not aging."
That was a neat power to have. "Couldn't he do that for Damien?"
"No. They tried it once and it almost killed him. Damien's cursed-that's a whole other animal to skin, and Sin's powers don't extend to it."
"But he saved you," she said, her heart melting at the thought. "You must have been a good man."
He scoffed at her. "I was the worst sort of trash. A liar, a thief. For pocket change I would have cut the throat of anyone, man, woman... child. It didn't matter. I'm not proud of what I was. Had Sin cut my throat and left me for dead, I would have deserved it." He looked up, his eyes filled with turmoil. "I've never been able to understand why he saved me. God knows I didn't deserve it. I had no concept of compassion until he spared my life."
The more Kat learned about Sin, the more she was amazed by him. And she wanted to fully understand what had made Sin spare Kish. She reached out and touched Kish's arm. In an instant, she was there in that moment.
Kish was on the ground, bleeding while Sin stood over him fingering the knife he'd taken from Kish's hand while Kish had tried his best to kill him.
"Do it," Kish had snarled.
Sin had pulled the smaller man up from the street by his tunic front. He held Kish by his fist as he stared into Kish's dark eyes. And it was then Sin saw the life Kish had lived. The terror, the pain. A runaway slave, he'd lived his life wanting freedom and comfort.
Wanting something he didn't have to fight for, and it resonated in Sin's own soul. He understood just how much something so inconsequential could mean.
Sin had set Kish on his feet. "Life only has the value a person gives it. If I killed you here and now, yours would be worthless and no one would mourn you. Is that truly what you want?"
Kish had curled his lip at Sin. "I don't own my life. It means nothing to me."
"Then it means nothing to anyone." Sin had narrowed his gaze on Kish. "But if you had your life again, would it still be worthless?"
"I don't understand riddles. I'm only a servant."
"Servant or master, you're not stupid. The question is simple... if I give you back your life, will you throw it away again or will you make it worth something?"
Kish hadn't spoken, but the hopeful glimmer in his eyes had said it all. And so Sin had spared him.
Kat let go of Kish's arm and smiled at the warmth that filled her.
He made a noise of disgust. "You know that's kind of rude to spy on someone like that and not to ask. Not to mention really intrusive."
"I'm sorry. I just wanted to know."
And still he looked less than placated. "So that's supposed to excuse you just traipsing into my past and my emotions?"
"Okay, sorry. I get it. Damn, you are a lot like Sin. I promise I will never do that to you again."
"Good, 'cause I didn't like it. How would you feel if I went frolicking through your past without your permission?"
"Kish..."
He moved away from her, his face sullen. "I'm just saying you should put a leash on that power. That's all."
She held her hands up in surrender. "It is leashed. Now drop the subject or I'll tell Sin you've seen me naked."
That instantly cleared the sullen look. "I will never bring this topic up again. Oh wait. What topic? I have Alzheimer's. I know nothing at all." He ran to the food and held up one of the silver domes, then changed the subject, "Do you want the rest of this or can I take it to the demons now?"
"Have at it."
If a man could leave skid marks, Kish would have as he whisked the cart out of the room to Simi's.
Laughing at his haste, Kat finished her breakfast, showered, then dressed before she headed downstairs to find Sin, who was supposed to be in Damien's office. Instead she found Damien sitting at his desk, talking on his cell phone.
He hung up the instant she appeared.
"I didn't mean to interrupt," she said sheepishly.
He shrugged it off. "You didn't. I was only bitching."
"About?"
"Sin's family, who thought they could contain and control demons."
Ah, that explained it. "I have that same rant about my family some days. Only mine usually involves their tempers."
Damien put his hands behind his head and leaned back in his office chair as he watched her with an odd half smile. "You really sent a Skotos in to spy on the gallu?"
"You have a better idea?"
"Not really. Seems my bright idea only served in getting my ass handed to me on a platter. I don't want to repeat that humiliation, if you know what I mean."
At least he had a sense of humor about it. She looked around his office that was decorated with cult movie figurines and posters. He looked so normal and nice... like anyone you'd meet on the street, and yet at the same time he was lethal. And he lived on people's souls. "Do you know how disturbing it is for me to be having a conversation with a Daimon?"
"About as disturbing as it is for me to work for a Dark-Hunter. But you do get used to it eventually."
"You do seem to have adapted."
He straightened up in his chair. "We all do what we have to, to survive."
"I suppose, and speaking of survival, have you seen Sin?"
Damien straightened a stack of folders on his desk. "He left a short while back, why?"
"I was just wondering. Any idea where he went?"
He shrugged. "We were talking about next week's schedule when he got that weird demon-sensation he gets whenever they've busted loose. Told me to stay here and that he'd be back."
She was surprised by that. "You let him go alone?"
He gave her a duh-stare. "Well, given the fact that it was in this time zone and there's a little thing outside called the sun... yeah. Burnt-up Daimon wouldn't be helpful to nobody, least of all me and my tailor."
She narrowed her gaze on him. "Damien..."
"Kat." He dragged her name out the same way she'd done his. "What?"
"Why didn't you come tell me he was heading out alone?"
" 'Cause he does it all the time. Didn't think anything about it. But now that you're here I'll make sure and keep you updated on everything he does. That way you can cut his meat up for dinner and help him tie his shoes and use the potty, too."
She wasn't sure if she should be irritated or entertained. "You know, I never thought I'd ever meet my sarcastic match. Still haven't, but you come dangerously close."
He smiled. "I will take that as a compliment." Damien got up and pulled his jacket from the back of his chair. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go make rounds on the floor. See you later."
Kat shook her head as he left her alone in his office. She had a childish urge to boot up his computer and start deleting files, but she was above that...
At least for the moment.
Besides, she had an ex-god to locate. Closing her eyes, she used her powers to find him. She honed in and flashed herself to his side. Or rather, a few feet from his back as he held a man down on the street and was beating him for everything he was worth.
It wasn't until she took a step closer that she realized the man on the ground was a gallu. Even so, Sin was relentless as he rained blow after blow on him.
This was the madman she'd met that night in Central Park.
"Sin!" she snapped, trying to get him to focus. "Just kill him already."
Sin got in one last blow before he did as she asked. When he turned to face her, his expression was hell born and honestly scared her. He set fire to the demon with relish.
When they'd first met she would have thought Sin an animal for doing such a thing as this, but she'd learned enough about him to know he would never do such a thing without a good reason. "What happened?"
"He was trolling a day care."
She felt sick at the news. No wonder Sin had been so angry. "But you got him in time, right?"
"Barely. Had I been even a second later..." He shook his head. "It was too close. My attention was on you and your comfort. It wasn't on what it needs to be. I can't allow my attention to falter for even a second. Good gods, can you imagine what it would have done to a child?"
Kat went cold with dread. "What are you saying?"
His golden gaze froze her to the spot. "I need you to go back to Olympus and stay there until this is over."
The mere thought of what he was asking set her temper on fire. How dare he even suggest such a thing. "Like hell."
But there was no backing down in his determined gaze. "Don't you understand?" he said between clenched teeth. "This isn't a game. We are playing with people's lives... children's lives. It's not worth it."
She more than understood that. But for him to go up against the gallu by himself was suicide. "You can't stand alone."
"Bullshit. I've been alone since the dawn of time. I've been fighting the gallu single-handedly and doing a pretty damn good job. Believe me, this has to be done."
No, she didn't believe that. Not for a second. "Sin... you can't throw us away because of what could have happened. You got here in time. You have to trust in that."
"And what if I hadn't? What would you have told that kid's parents then, huh? 'Sorry I missed saving your daughter, but I was too busy having a nooner'?"
She was appalled at his crudity and deep down she knew there was more to this than just the close call. "What is really bothering you?"
All emotion fled his face. "I don't know what you mean."
"Yes, you do. You know exactly what I mean. Something much deeper than a near miss is hurting you. What is it?"
Sin didn't want to feel the pain that was building up inside him. He wanted to stay angry. Rage was something he could deal with...
Guilt, fear, regret, anguish, loneliness-those were emotions he'd gladly banished. They were the ones that weakened a man.
But when he looked at Kat, he felt all of them and he didn't know how to rid himself of them without getting rid of her, too. "They got to my brother because I was tending to you, Katra. I was more worried over your welfare than his. And now I almost let one of them get to a kid. I can't live like this. I can't. I need my thoughts uncluttered. I don't need a weakness of any kind in my life."
"Weakness?" He heard the pain in her voice and it tore him apart. "I can kick your ass any day of the week and six times on Sunday."
A part of him wanted to pull her close, but the sane, rational part knew he couldn't. She was a danger to him, and he couldn't lose her. He'd held his daughter in his arms as her life had drained out of her. He refused to relive that pain with Kat. Her death would shatter him. "You were bitten in a fight that I wasn't even scratched in. Remember? You almost became one of them."
"Okay," she snapped, holding up her hands, "so I made a mistake. I forgot about the bite in the ensuing chaos of getting Zakar back. My bad. I own it. I named it. Sue me."
"You make it sound so simple, but it isn't. I can't afford any mistakes here, and worrying over whether or not they're going to kill you makes me sloppy. It leaves them an opening to kill us both."
She gave him a knowing look as she calmed a degree. "I'm not Ishtar, Sin. I won't fall victim to them."
He wanted to trust her, but he couldn't. "You already did."
"It was a simple learning experience. I got it. It won't happen again."
She was right about that. Sin wanted to reach out and touch her. But he knew he couldn't. If he did, she would destroy his resolve. "And now you understand my point of view. I won't bury you or burn you and I won't jeopardize anyone else. It's over, Katra. I want you to take your demons and leave."
Kat curled her lip as she contemplated the dismemberment of a stubborn man. Why wouldn't he see reason? "Leave and let you be overrun by the gallu? What kind of a stupid plan is that? If you don't want me, fine. I'm a big girl, I can handle that. But keep Simi and Xirena. They're the one thing the gallu can't take from you. Let them stand at your back and protect you... please."
"Fine. If that will make you happy, they can stay. Now I want you out of this."
Infuriated, Kat held her hands up in defeat. She could tell by his demeanor and tone of voice that he had no intention of allowing her to stay.
Maybe if she gave him some space, he might see reason. But knowing him, she doubted it.
"Whatever. Play all macho if that's what makes you happy. I'm out of this."
Sin watched as she faded before him. His throat burned as every part of him screamed out for him to call her back. But he wouldn't.
No, he couldn't.
She was a distraction. But most of all, she was a weakness he couldn't allow himself. He'd buried everyone in his life who ever meant anything to him.
He refused to lose her, too. Better to hurt a little bit now and know that she was alive and well than to be here and see her dead.
She would get over this and so would he.
Kat was livid as she shoved open the doors to her mother's throne room. "Matisera?" she called, wanting her mom. She didn't even really know why. Her mother wasn't the most sympathetic or affectionate of women. Still, Kat needed to feel the comfort of her mother's presence.
But Artemis didn't come.
Acheron stepped out of the bedroom to look at her with a quizzical stare. "Is something wrong?"
Part of her wanted to run to him for comfort, but the other part wanted to keep her distance. Right now, he reminded her too much of Sin. "Where's Artemis?"
Acheron pointed over his shoulder with his thumb. "Big house on the hill. It's the one you really can't miss. Gaudy as hell and seriously overcompensating for a complex of some sort. Zeus is apparently throwing a party and Artemis wanted to stop in and visit."
Of course she did. She'd probably be gone for hours-it was just Kat's luck.
Acheron crossed the distance between them. "Is there something I can help with?"
"No," Kat said petulantly. "You're a man and I hate all of you right now."
He took two steps back. "Fair enough. Since my presence is obviously causing you pain, I'll take my manhood outside to the terrace, where you can join me if you can overlook my obvious birth defect."
Kat glared at him. It was just like a man to try to make light of this when it hurt so badly. It was why she hated all of their dreaded species at the moment.
Her father went outside to sit on the railing, with his back against a column. The angry part of her wanted to run outside and shove him over it and let him go sprawling to the ground below. And even though the thought gave her a moment's amusement, she knew the truth. She wasn't really angry at her father.
She wanted to crush Sin.
Unable to stand it, she went outside.
Acheron turned toward her with an arch stare.
"Why do all men have to suck?" she asked, folding her arms over her chest. "I knew you all sucked and still I stupidly fell in love with one of you. Why? Why would I be such a masochist? You pour your heart out to a man and what does he do? 'Could you change the channel, babe?' " she mocked in a faked masculine tone. "You're all pathetically cold. You don't care about anyone but yourselves."
Acheron duplicated her pose, folding his arms over his chest. "Do you want my input or is this just an angry tirade you need to vent?"
"Both!"
"Okay, you rant and I'll add my comments at the end." Why did he have to be so damned reasonable? It actually snapped her out of her anger enough so that she was moderately accommodating. "No, by all means, go ahead. You have something to say, say it."
"For the record, this isn't a male/female thing. It's a people thing. You talk about men being cold... you should see women from my standpoint. We're talking Arctic tundra would be warmer. Believe me, you don't want to know my vantage point on your gender. As a man, if I grabbed your breasts, I'd be arrested. Any idea how many women have felt free to grab my crotch at will?"
"Dad!"
"Sorry, but it's true. Women are just as quick to use a man as a man is to use a woman. It's not right to judge an entire gender or group by the actions of a few assholes... Now what has Sin done to cause you to hate all the rest of malekind?"
"It's not just Sin," she said defensively. "Look at what Grandpa did to Grandma. What-" She caught herself before she let her next thought slip.
"I've done to your mother."
Damn, he'd guessed it. She bowed her head down, feeling sheepish and churlish. "I didn't mean it like that."
"Don't apologize. You thought it and I heard it loud and clear." Ooo, she'd forgotten about his ability to do that.
"I'm sorry."
"No, you're not," he said with an understanding smile. "It's something you've thought about a lot. Don't forget, you get that ability to read people and their emotions from me."
She was really squirming now. No wonder poor Kish had taken her head off. "Am I this obnoxious with it?"
"Probably."
"No wonder people get so irritated with me."
"I'm sure they forgive you quickly enough." Not really, but she didn't want to argue with him. He leaned forward to pin her with an earnest look. "For the record, I haven't done anything to your mother."
"You seduced her."
"I kissed her, and believe me when I say my intent was never to make her crave me. I was actually hoping she'd kill me for it."
His confession startled her-it was so extremely different from the way Artemis had portrayed the event.
"What?"
He nodded and she could feel his sincerity. "There has never been a woman born I wanted to seduce, and that's the truth. I have spent my entire lifetime trying to get people to keep their hands off me. So before you blame me for seducing your mother and then scorning her, get the facts. I kissed her once, hoping for death, and then she came after me."
It was hard for Kat to wrap her mind around that, but then again, it made a lot of sense.
"As for my parents..." he continued, "they were totally screwed up from the beginning, but that has nothing to do with you or me. And it definitely has no bearing on your relationship with Sin unless you make it so. Don't. Your problems with Sin are simple. He's scared and you're pushing him to take a step he's not ready to take."
"You told me to go to him. I did."
"And did you apologize?"
"Yes."
"Then give him time, Katra. When you've spent a lifetime being betrayed by everyone around you, it's really hard to let that go. Sin is afraid of love."
She didn't understand that. "How can anyone be afraid of love?"
"How can they not?" His face was completely aghast. "When you love someone... truly love them, friend or lover, you lay your heart open to them. You give them a part of yourself that you give to no one else, and you let them inside a part of you that only they can hurt-you literally hand them the razor with a map of where to cut deepest and most painfully on your heart and soul. And when they do strike, it's crippling-like having your heart carved out. It leaves you naked and exposed, wondering what you did to make them want to hurt you so badly when all you did was love them. What is so wrong with you that no one can keep faith with you? That no one can love you? To have it happen once is bad enough... but to have it repeated? Who in their right mind would not be terrified of that?"
Kat swallowed against the lump in her throat as she heard the pain inside him. Her eyes tearing, she walked forward, into his arms, and hugged him.
Ash couldn't breathe as he felt his daughter's arms around him. Only Simi had ever held him like this. There were no demands or payment expected for the embrace. It was meant for comfort only.
And it meant everything to him.
"I love you, Dad, and I would never hurt you."
He closed his eyes as those words touched him deeply. "I know, baby. Just give Sin a little space and let him come to grips with himself and his past."
"And if he doesn't?"
"I'll take him outside and beat him for making my girl cry."
She laughed through her tears as she backed away from him.
"Really?"
"Absolutely. Forget medieval, I'll break Atlantean on his ass, and you've seen what a ticked-off Atlantean god can do. Makes Hannibal Lecter look like a crybaby."
Smiling, Kat sniffed back her tears. "I'm going to hold you to that, you know?"
"Feel free. I live to kick the snot out of people."
Kat really liked that thought. She could just see Ash doing that, too.
She wiped her eyes before she had a weird off-topic question. "What do you do when Mom leaves you alone like this?"
He shrugged. "I write romance novels."
His response was so quick, deadpan, and unexpected that she was stunned. "Really?"
"Nah." He winked at her. "I'm not that talented, and I know absolutely nothing about romance. I only wanted to see your reaction."
Ha ha. She wasn't sure if she'd ever get used to his humor. "So what do you do? Really?"
"Nothing. Really. It's boring as hell. Artemis won't allow me to bring anything here with me. No guitar. No Cartoon Network. Occasionally, I sneak a book in just to watch her wig out when she finds it."
That didn't make any sense to Kat. Why would her mother be so cruel? "Why doesn't she allow you to have anything here?"
"It's a distraction and she won't tolerate it. My part of the bargain is to be at her beck and call. So here I wait. It's another power trip... a small victory she can claim over me."
"Why do you tolerate it?"
The look in his swirling silver eyes sent a shiver down her spine. "The same reason Sin hasn't resigned himself to death. There are six billion people on earth who need someone to protect them from things that are scarier than the tax man or the knife-wielding stranger. Things that a gun won't stop. As long as their lives hang in the balance, what's a little humiliation for me? Besides, I'm used to it."
Maybe, but she wondered if she'd be so altruistic in his place. "Yeah, but you're a god of fate. Can't you change that?"
"You're thinking like a child, Katra. Things that appear simple very seldom are. It's like the mechanic who goes to fix the carburetor and in doing so accidentally puts a hole in the radiator and causes even more damage. Every person on this planet is connected. Sometimes those lines are easy to see, and others are more complex. You change one insignificant thing and you change the very core of humanity. Case in point, had I stopped you from taking Sin's powers he wouldn't have become what he is now. He'd have been just as cold as your mother."
"But his pantheon would have survived."
"Would it? Fate is never that simple. It doesn't go in a straight line, and the more you try to circumvent it, the worse you make it on yourself. Fate will not be denied. Sin would have lost his powers by another means, at another time and place. And whoever took them then might have killed him. Had he died, the world would have ended a long time ago or the gallu would have run free and taken over. There are infinite possibilities."
"But if fate won't be denied... if it's set, how could there be infinite possibilities?" That was a question she'd never fully understood.
"Only certain aspects are fated. The outcome isn't. It was fated that Sin would lose his godhood, the means and what followed were determined by free will. Free will is that one scary variable that sets so much into motion that no one, not even I, have control over."
"I don't understand."
He took a deep breath as he rubbed her arm comfortingly. "Here's an example. When I first met Nick Gautier it was fated that he was to get married at age thirty and have a dozen kids. As our friendship grew, I lost the ability to see how his future would play out. Then in one moment of anger, I changed his destiny by telling him he should kill himself. I didn't mean it, but as a god of fate, such proclamations when made by me are law. Fate realigned the circumstances around him that would lead him to make a decision to take his own life. The woman he was to marry ended up dead in her store. His mother's life was taken by a Daimon and Nick shot himself at her feet. My free will would have been to not lash out at him. Instead, I did. His free will would have been to seek revenge as a human against a Daimon and not kill himself. But because of who I am, my proclamation that he kill himself outweighed his will and he didn't really have any choice. I took his free will and I cost him everyone who was close to him. Do you understand?"
She was beginning to see, but there was still the matter of the original plan for Nick. "If fate won't be denied, then Nick could still find someone to marry and have a dozen kids, right?"
"That might have been true, but the moment I forced my will onto his life I altered that. His fate is no longer set and it's his free will now that leads him toward a destiny I can't see. But I know his future actions will touch the lives of people I love and whatever happens to them is ultimately my fault for being stupid. Don't be stupid, Katra. Never speak in anger and never try to force your will onto someone else. You'll never find peace in that."
Kat paused as she realized exactly what he meant. For centuries her mother had been trying to force her will on Kat's father. Her grandfather had tried to force his will onto her grandmother. And in each case the outcome had been disastrous for everyone involved. As much as Kat wanted to have Sin, unless he was willing, there would never be any happiness between them. "I understand."
"Good. That's the first step."
She supposed. But honestly, doing the right thing really hurt when all she wanted to do was go force Sin to take her back.
Kat looked at Acheron and shook her head. "You are incredibly wise."
He laughed. "Only when it comes to other people. It's easy to see how to fix their lives. It's much harder to see the cracks in your own house."
"Well, I appreciate it. Thank you." She kissed him on the cheek before she left him alone and headed for her room. She had to leave the temple to walk across to the dormitory that belonged to all of the koris who served Artemis. Kat's room was the last on the left.
She would give Sin the space he needed to see what he wanted out of his life. She wouldn't seek him out. Let him be the one to call. It was the only way.
As she went to open her bedroom curtains to let daylight in, she heard something behind her. Turning, she watched as Xypher appeared in the center of her room.
His expression was cold and brutal as he dragged a male demon, in true demon form across her floor. He held the demon by the scruff of his neck as he kicked and screamed, demanding release. Xypher was covered in blood. Scratches marred the left side of his face.
But he didn't seem to notice as he walked calmly toward Kat.
As soon as he reached her, he dumped the demon at her feet. The demon tried to rise, but Xypher kicked him back down. "I found this piece of shit trying to eat a woman outside a deli. Thought it might prove a good snitch and I was right."
He grabbed the demon by the hair and pulled him up so that Kat could see his face. "Now tell the good lady where Kessar put the Tablet of Destiny."
"It's around his neck. He won't let anyone near it."
"And Zakar?"
"He's pinned to the side of the master's throne."
Xypher let the demon fall back to the floor. "Good enough? Now, can I kill it?"
She looked at Xypher's bleeding wounds. "What about you? Are you converting?"
He laughed bitterly. "I'm dead. Can't convert me when I don't have a pulse."
That made her feel better... in an odd way.
"Can I kill it now?"
Kat hesitated and she didn't even know why. Looking at the demon, helpless on the floor...
It was one thing to kill in a fight but another to kill after the person, or demon in this case, had been defeated. It just seemed wrong somehow.
"What are you? Weak?" Xypher snarled when she didn't respond. "Don't tell me you want me to spare this pathetic animal when it wouldn't show you any such mercy. Believe me, it's better to take the head off a cobra before the cobra strikes you."
"A cobra can't help what it is. Why should you punish it because it's doing what the gods created it to do?"
He rolled his eyes at her. "Are we going to debate philosophy or should I just kiss and make up with the demon now? Let it get a good shot at your throat so it can rip it out?"
Xypher was right. This was no time to be merciful, especially since she'd seen what demons were capable of firsthand. They didn't show mercy or compassion. But that didn't mean she had to be just like them. "Put him down mercifully."
"Yes, Queenie," Xypher said, his tone full of venom and sarcasm. "I'll make sure and use a cushioned blade."
"I could do without your sarcasm."
"And I could do without your bleeding heart."
She narrowed her eyes on him. "Just remember, my bleeding heart is what gained you a shot at freedom."
His face turned to stone. "Queenie, it was a bleeding heart that put me in that position to begin with. The person I was trying to protect when I was taken didn't return the favor. The bitch was only using me. So take my advice, whatever compassion you have, kill it off. You'll thank me for it later." And with that he vanished. Kat stood there for a full second as his words rang in her ears. It made her wonder if maybe Xypher wasn't right. Betrayal seemed to be the worst part of humanity.
At least with the gallu, they didn't pretend. They merely were what they were. Demons. You knew where you stood. They didn't pretend to like you and then try to stab you in the back. They came at your throat from the beginning.
She could almost respect them for that. Maybe they were a higher life-form after all. Betrayal wasn't in their nature.
With that thought, another terrifying one went through her mind. Sin knew how to kill her. She'd given him a secret that no one, not even her mother, knew.
Was his kindness toward her only a facade meant to blind her until he betrayed her? Surely not...
I took his powers. He'd been after her mother for centuries to kill her for that. Now he knew Artemis was innocent and Kat was the one who'd done it.
Maybe I'm being stupid and paranoid. It was more than possible.
"Stop it, Kat. Sin wouldn't hurt you." He wouldn't and she refused to let herself continue on with such nonsense. Right now Sin was hurting and confused. Just like her.
She wouldn't let unfounded fears destroy what they had built together.
And what do you have? He told you to get lost.
Ugh, how she hated that voice in her head. "I won't listen to you. I love Sin and I'm not giving up on him yet."
She only hoped he shared that sentiment about her. If not, he was going to kill her.