Dime Store Magic
Page 65
"Just a sec," I said. "Savannah was telling me something important."
"It can wait," she said, jumping to her feet. "What's outside?"
"I don't believe I could do it justice with a verbal description," he said. And smiled.
With that, Savannah was off and up the stairs.
Chapter 29
They Aren't Naked. They're Skyclad
WHEN I GOT UPSTAIRS, I SHOOED A NEAR-HYSTERICAL Savannah away from the kitchen window, lifted the blind, and looked out to see five women kneeling in a circle on my lawn. Five naked women. I mean butt-naked, not just topless or scantily dressed, but absolutely without clothing.
I jumped back so fast I collided with Cortez.
"What the hell is that?" I said.
"I believe the commonly accepted term is "Wiccan."
"Wiccans?"
"Or, I should say, that is how they introduced themselves when I ventured out to request that they dress themselves and vacate the premises. They indicated that they are members of a small sect of Wicca from a coven somewhere in Vermont. No relation to your Coven, I presume?"
"Ha-ha."
"They seem quite harmless. They're performing a cleansing ceremony for your benefit."
"How nice."
"I thought so." He grinned then, an action I'd never have thought his face capable of performing. "One other thing it behooves me to mention. On their behalf. A request. One that I really would advise you to honor."
"What is it?"
"They've asked you to join them."
I whirled around and, had I not been a firm believer in nonviolence, I swear I would have slugged him. Instead, I collapsed against the counter, laughing. Laughing far harder than the situation warranted. After one week of hell, I must admit, naked Wiccans on my back lawn was a welcome diversion.
"I take it that's a no?" Cortez said, still grinning.
"'Fraid so."
"I'll convey my regrets, then. And I'll ask them to leave."
"No," I said. "I'll do it."
"Are you sure?"
"Hey, these are the first supporters I've seen. The least I can do is tell them to get lost myself."
"Can I come?" Savannah asked.
"No," Cortez and I said in unison.
I peered out the back door before exiting.
Except for the Wiccans, my yard was empty. When I stepped outside, the Wiccans stopped, turning as one body and bestowing beatific smiles on me. I approached slowly. Cortez followed at my heels.
"Sister Winterbourne," the first one said.
She threw open her arms, embraced me, planted a kiss on my lips, then another on my left breast. I yelped. Cortez made a choking noise that sounded suspiciously like a stifled whoop of laughter.
"My poor, poor child," she said, clasping both my hands to her chest. "They've frightened you so. Not to worry. We're here to offer the support of the Goddess."
"Praise be to the Goddess," the others intoned.
The first one grasped my hands. "We've begun the cleansing ceremony. Please, unburden yourself of your earthly vestments and join us."
Cortez choked again, then leaned down to my ear and murmured, "I should check on Savannah. If you decide to comply with their request, let me know. Please."
He retreated to the house, racked by a sudden fit of coughing. I grabbed the nearest discarded robe.
"Could you please put this-could you all put these-could you get dressed, please?"
The woman only bestowed a serene smile on me. "We are as the Goddess requires."
"The Goddess requires you to be naked on my lawn?"
"We aren't naked, child. We're skyclad. Clothing impedes mental vibrations."
"Uh, right. Look, I know this is all very natural, the human form and all that, but you just can't do this. Not here. It's illegal."
Another beatific smile. "We care not for the laws of men. If they come for us, we will not go without a fight."
"Oh, God."
"Goddess, dear. And take not her name in vain."
"Blessed be the Goddess," the other intoned.
"That's-uh-very-I mean-" I stammered. Be polite, I reminded myself. Witches should respect Wiccans, even if we didn't quite get the whole Goddess-worship thing. I knew some Wiccans and they were very nice people, though I must admit they'd never arrived in my backyard naked and kissed my tits before.
"You're-uh-from Vermont, I hear," I managed. That was polite, wasn't it?
"We're from everywhere," the first one said, still refusing to relinquish my hands. "We're roving missionaries, free spirits not enslaved by any traditional system of belief. The Goddess speaks to us directly and sends us where she will."
"Praise be to the Goddess," her companions chanted.
"Oh, well, that's very nice," I said. "While I do appreciate your support-" Oh, God, please get out of my yard before someone sees you! "-this really isn't a good time to talk."
"We could come back," the leader said.
"Gosh, could you? That'd be so great. How about next Monday? Say, eight o'clock?"
I grabbed the robes and passed them out, nearly tripping in my haste. Soon the Wiccans were dressed and heading for the side gate.
"Um, actually, you know, you should go out the back," I said. "Through the woods. It's a great walk. There's lot of, uh nature."
"It can wait," she said, jumping to her feet. "What's outside?"
"I don't believe I could do it justice with a verbal description," he said. And smiled.
With that, Savannah was off and up the stairs.
Chapter 29
They Aren't Naked. They're Skyclad
WHEN I GOT UPSTAIRS, I SHOOED A NEAR-HYSTERICAL Savannah away from the kitchen window, lifted the blind, and looked out to see five women kneeling in a circle on my lawn. Five naked women. I mean butt-naked, not just topless or scantily dressed, but absolutely without clothing.
I jumped back so fast I collided with Cortez.
"What the hell is that?" I said.
"I believe the commonly accepted term is "Wiccan."
"Wiccans?"
"Or, I should say, that is how they introduced themselves when I ventured out to request that they dress themselves and vacate the premises. They indicated that they are members of a small sect of Wicca from a coven somewhere in Vermont. No relation to your Coven, I presume?"
"Ha-ha."
"They seem quite harmless. They're performing a cleansing ceremony for your benefit."
"How nice."
"I thought so." He grinned then, an action I'd never have thought his face capable of performing. "One other thing it behooves me to mention. On their behalf. A request. One that I really would advise you to honor."
"What is it?"
"They've asked you to join them."
I whirled around and, had I not been a firm believer in nonviolence, I swear I would have slugged him. Instead, I collapsed against the counter, laughing. Laughing far harder than the situation warranted. After one week of hell, I must admit, naked Wiccans on my back lawn was a welcome diversion.
"I take it that's a no?" Cortez said, still grinning.
"'Fraid so."
"I'll convey my regrets, then. And I'll ask them to leave."
"No," I said. "I'll do it."
"Are you sure?"
"Hey, these are the first supporters I've seen. The least I can do is tell them to get lost myself."
"Can I come?" Savannah asked.
"No," Cortez and I said in unison.
I peered out the back door before exiting.
Except for the Wiccans, my yard was empty. When I stepped outside, the Wiccans stopped, turning as one body and bestowing beatific smiles on me. I approached slowly. Cortez followed at my heels.
"Sister Winterbourne," the first one said.
She threw open her arms, embraced me, planted a kiss on my lips, then another on my left breast. I yelped. Cortez made a choking noise that sounded suspiciously like a stifled whoop of laughter.
"My poor, poor child," she said, clasping both my hands to her chest. "They've frightened you so. Not to worry. We're here to offer the support of the Goddess."
"Praise be to the Goddess," the others intoned.
The first one grasped my hands. "We've begun the cleansing ceremony. Please, unburden yourself of your earthly vestments and join us."
Cortez choked again, then leaned down to my ear and murmured, "I should check on Savannah. If you decide to comply with their request, let me know. Please."
He retreated to the house, racked by a sudden fit of coughing. I grabbed the nearest discarded robe.
"Could you please put this-could you all put these-could you get dressed, please?"
The woman only bestowed a serene smile on me. "We are as the Goddess requires."
"The Goddess requires you to be naked on my lawn?"
"We aren't naked, child. We're skyclad. Clothing impedes mental vibrations."
"Uh, right. Look, I know this is all very natural, the human form and all that, but you just can't do this. Not here. It's illegal."
Another beatific smile. "We care not for the laws of men. If they come for us, we will not go without a fight."
"Oh, God."
"Goddess, dear. And take not her name in vain."
"Blessed be the Goddess," the other intoned.
"That's-uh-very-I mean-" I stammered. Be polite, I reminded myself. Witches should respect Wiccans, even if we didn't quite get the whole Goddess-worship thing. I knew some Wiccans and they were very nice people, though I must admit they'd never arrived in my backyard naked and kissed my tits before.
"You're-uh-from Vermont, I hear," I managed. That was polite, wasn't it?
"We're from everywhere," the first one said, still refusing to relinquish my hands. "We're roving missionaries, free spirits not enslaved by any traditional system of belief. The Goddess speaks to us directly and sends us where she will."
"Praise be to the Goddess," her companions chanted.
"Oh, well, that's very nice," I said. "While I do appreciate your support-" Oh, God, please get out of my yard before someone sees you! "-this really isn't a good time to talk."
"We could come back," the leader said.
"Gosh, could you? That'd be so great. How about next Monday? Say, eight o'clock?"
I grabbed the robes and passed them out, nearly tripping in my haste. Soon the Wiccans were dressed and heading for the side gate.
"Um, actually, you know, you should go out the back," I said. "Through the woods. It's a great walk. There's lot of, uh nature."
