Dirty English
Page 65
He stepped in the shower and closed the glass door, effectively cutting me off.
I huffed and paced around, mulling.
Why was he so stubborn?
I came to a stop. It was no wonder we were in love with each other; we were just alike, neither one of us willing to budge.
I stopped in my tracks. My heart jackhammered. Love? Had I just thought love ?
I realized a thousand things at once, as if they’d been there the entire time, just waiting for me to see them. Of course it was love.
Loving Declan was like the rain storms I loved to dance in. Crazy and unpredictable, sometimes turbulent, sometimes gentle. I didn’t know if I was going to be struck by lightning, but one thing was for sure, I wanted him anyway. Fighting and all. Somehow we’d make it all work. If he could accept my past and love me anyway, then I sure as hell could handle whatever the future brought for us.
I’d wasted so much time with my one-night stands and rules about life. It had never been about proving to myself I could be normal and have sex and not let Colby win. For two years, I’d been punishing myself. I’d hunkered down in my grief and tried to end it all. Why had I let a mere boy destroy me?
I’d been scared for too damn long, denying myself the pleasure of falling, of that feeling you get when butterflies go crazy in your tummy. I’d been shoving them down, swallowing them whole.
Not anymore.
I jerked my shirt off and then my skirt, my hands ripping at my bra and panties. My body was already throbbing with arousal, but more than that—we needed to talk.
I yanked open the glass door. “Do not shut me out. I have something to tell you …”
I stopped and swallowed. He was wet, his hair slicked down as water coasted lazily down his throat to his chest, past the V in his hips and right to his hard-as-steel length.
I stepped inside and shut the door. I sensed something big—other than the size of his appendage.
“Are you ready to risk your heart, Elizabeth?” he said softly, watching me.
“Wha—what?”
He sent me a heavy look, laced with heat. “Right now, in this shower, you are going to tell me exactly how you feel about me.”
I shivered at the authority in his voice. “Is that an ultimatum?”
He stroked his hard length, eyes on my face. “Do you want this?”
Yes.
But first …
“This—this is going to sound really weird, but …” I swallowed, getting my nerve up. I mean, I thought he was in love with me, but was he? I sucked in a sharp breath and gathered my courage. Be brave. “I—I have a mountain to climb in life, and I want you next to me. I want you to walk up it with me—behind me to give me a push or next to me when I need to hold your hand. And when there’s a jungle there, I want you to fight with me. We’ll have machetes, and it will be tough some days when I try to figure out who I am and what I need, but with you next to me, it’ll be okay. I want you to carry me when I’m tired, and I’ll carry you when you’re tired. I want you to rub my fingers when I’ve worked a hard day making pretty things, and I’ll rub your muscles when they get hurt. I want to be the blanket that covers you when you are cold. Or vice versa. I want all of it—all the blood, sweat, and tears—no matter what dream you decide to follow. I’m here. Forever. I love you.”
“Unicorn Girl, God, I love you too.” Tears misted in his eyes and he blinked them away as I did a double take. He wasn’t the kind of guy who’d ever cry. He gathered me in his arms and kissed me deeply, his mouth soft and tender.
After a while, we pulled back. “And I’m sorry for ignoring you for the past few days and not seeing what was right in front of my face. I—I was scared.”
He kissed my nose. “I knew you loved me—or I hoped you did. You couldn’t stand it when you saw me at Cadillac’s with Lorna. Hell, you couldn’t stand it when I deliberately flirted with her in class just to get you going. But you rejected me, and shit, it felt like you’d knifed me in the gut. I never want to have that feeling again. I never want to be without you by my side. And I hate to bring up Nadia, but you have to know that I never loved her—not really. Not like this need I have for you, to sink into you and never come up for air.”
My heart filled with emotion, and I battled my own tears.
He sighed, his face softening. “The moment that dragonfly landed on you, I knew you were going to rock my world. It was my mum, telling me to see you.”
I traced my fingers across the tattoo on his neck. This beautiful Brit was hers. “Nothing matters without you. My past, my rules. It all seems so unimportant now.”
He picked me up and kissed me while I laughed against his lips. “This shower is kinda on the small side. Let’s get out and get in the bed.”
His slippery fingers skimmed down to cup one of my breasts, his touch circling closer and closer to my nipple. “Always in a rush,” he teased, his fingers finally making contact with the nerve endings on my nipple. I hissed, the sound reflecting part torture, part pleasure.
I encircled my arms around his neck and leaned back, giving him more room to play, more skin to see. He slid his hands down to my waist and toyed with my bellybutton.
“I’ll never have enough of you. I think about this constantly,” he said, easing his hand down further to palm me. “When I fought, when I worked out, when I ate, when I was in class. All I wanted was you under me and whispering how much you can’t live without me.”
I huffed and paced around, mulling.
Why was he so stubborn?
I came to a stop. It was no wonder we were in love with each other; we were just alike, neither one of us willing to budge.
I stopped in my tracks. My heart jackhammered. Love? Had I just thought love ?
I realized a thousand things at once, as if they’d been there the entire time, just waiting for me to see them. Of course it was love.
Loving Declan was like the rain storms I loved to dance in. Crazy and unpredictable, sometimes turbulent, sometimes gentle. I didn’t know if I was going to be struck by lightning, but one thing was for sure, I wanted him anyway. Fighting and all. Somehow we’d make it all work. If he could accept my past and love me anyway, then I sure as hell could handle whatever the future brought for us.
I’d wasted so much time with my one-night stands and rules about life. It had never been about proving to myself I could be normal and have sex and not let Colby win. For two years, I’d been punishing myself. I’d hunkered down in my grief and tried to end it all. Why had I let a mere boy destroy me?
I’d been scared for too damn long, denying myself the pleasure of falling, of that feeling you get when butterflies go crazy in your tummy. I’d been shoving them down, swallowing them whole.
Not anymore.
I jerked my shirt off and then my skirt, my hands ripping at my bra and panties. My body was already throbbing with arousal, but more than that—we needed to talk.
I yanked open the glass door. “Do not shut me out. I have something to tell you …”
I stopped and swallowed. He was wet, his hair slicked down as water coasted lazily down his throat to his chest, past the V in his hips and right to his hard-as-steel length.
I stepped inside and shut the door. I sensed something big—other than the size of his appendage.
“Are you ready to risk your heart, Elizabeth?” he said softly, watching me.
“Wha—what?”
He sent me a heavy look, laced with heat. “Right now, in this shower, you are going to tell me exactly how you feel about me.”
I shivered at the authority in his voice. “Is that an ultimatum?”
He stroked his hard length, eyes on my face. “Do you want this?”
Yes.
But first …
“This—this is going to sound really weird, but …” I swallowed, getting my nerve up. I mean, I thought he was in love with me, but was he? I sucked in a sharp breath and gathered my courage. Be brave. “I—I have a mountain to climb in life, and I want you next to me. I want you to walk up it with me—behind me to give me a push or next to me when I need to hold your hand. And when there’s a jungle there, I want you to fight with me. We’ll have machetes, and it will be tough some days when I try to figure out who I am and what I need, but with you next to me, it’ll be okay. I want you to carry me when I’m tired, and I’ll carry you when you’re tired. I want you to rub my fingers when I’ve worked a hard day making pretty things, and I’ll rub your muscles when they get hurt. I want to be the blanket that covers you when you are cold. Or vice versa. I want all of it—all the blood, sweat, and tears—no matter what dream you decide to follow. I’m here. Forever. I love you.”
“Unicorn Girl, God, I love you too.” Tears misted in his eyes and he blinked them away as I did a double take. He wasn’t the kind of guy who’d ever cry. He gathered me in his arms and kissed me deeply, his mouth soft and tender.
After a while, we pulled back. “And I’m sorry for ignoring you for the past few days and not seeing what was right in front of my face. I—I was scared.”
He kissed my nose. “I knew you loved me—or I hoped you did. You couldn’t stand it when you saw me at Cadillac’s with Lorna. Hell, you couldn’t stand it when I deliberately flirted with her in class just to get you going. But you rejected me, and shit, it felt like you’d knifed me in the gut. I never want to have that feeling again. I never want to be without you by my side. And I hate to bring up Nadia, but you have to know that I never loved her—not really. Not like this need I have for you, to sink into you and never come up for air.”
My heart filled with emotion, and I battled my own tears.
He sighed, his face softening. “The moment that dragonfly landed on you, I knew you were going to rock my world. It was my mum, telling me to see you.”
I traced my fingers across the tattoo on his neck. This beautiful Brit was hers. “Nothing matters without you. My past, my rules. It all seems so unimportant now.”
He picked me up and kissed me while I laughed against his lips. “This shower is kinda on the small side. Let’s get out and get in the bed.”
His slippery fingers skimmed down to cup one of my breasts, his touch circling closer and closer to my nipple. “Always in a rush,” he teased, his fingers finally making contact with the nerve endings on my nipple. I hissed, the sound reflecting part torture, part pleasure.
I encircled my arms around his neck and leaned back, giving him more room to play, more skin to see. He slid his hands down to my waist and toyed with my bellybutton.
“I’ll never have enough of you. I think about this constantly,” he said, easing his hand down further to palm me. “When I fought, when I worked out, when I ate, when I was in class. All I wanted was you under me and whispering how much you can’t live without me.”
